Ties of Love and Friendship
by Otaku-Rehab
Summary: A lot can happen in a year. A lot more can happen when someone's pressing the fast forward button. KxT
1. Izuki's Surprises

**this is my very first fan fic, so please tell me if it sux ass (or if it doesn't). the story takes place **_**after**_ **tohru sees kyo's true form but **_**before**_ **they go to the beach house. so around the 7th or 8th volume. and for those that don't know, the Louvre is a famous art museum in France (it will make sense once you start reading). i'm gonna stop talking now.**

Disclaimer: I don't Fruits Basket or any of it's characters.

Chapter 1- Izuki's Surprises

The clear blue skies and dreamy white clouds spoke of late spring. The air had a comfortable warmth about it, past the chill of winter but not yet balmy like summer. As lovely as the atmosphere was, however, the conversation between three teenagers was not quite on that level.

"Ex_cuse_ me?!" Kyo growled loudly. "You wanna say that again, kuso nezumi?!"

"I suppose you weren't smart enough to catch that," Yuki replied with the usual calm iciness he used with Kyo, "so I'll repeat: Why do you even bother coming shopping with us if all you do is complain, _baka neko_?"

Tohru expected Kyo to reply with another snarl, and maybe (probably) challenge Yuki to a fight. His response surprised her. "I-I just felt like it, is all," he stammered, blushing slightly. His shoes became insanely interesting at that moment, because that seemed to be all Kyo could look at.

The silence that followed was very uncomfortable, and nobody wanted to be the one to break it.

"Um," Tohru said, hoping to break through the unexpected tension. "How about we get going now, so I can start lunch for everybody?"

"Of course, Honda-san."

". . .Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

Chatting casually, Tohru and the others didn't notice the unfamiliar boots sitting by the front door, next to Shigure's. They brought the bags of groceries to the kitchen and put them in their respective places. Then, out of the blue, the three teenagers heard a loud burst of feminine laughter.

"That didn't sound like Shigure." Nobody could deny Tohru's observation skills. "Do you think it's his editor?"

Yuki and Kyo didn't answer. They glances at each, wide-eyed. _Oh, God,_ they thought. _She's back_.

Curious, Tohru started toward the living room, where the laughter had come from. The boys followed suit.

". . .staring at my boobs the whole time. In the middle of the fricking _Louvre_. I mean, God, who _does_ that?" As Tohru entered the room, she caught the end of a girl's odd conversation with Shigure. From where Tohru was standing, she could only see Odd Girl's (as Tohru had mentally nicknamed her) waist-length wavy auburn hair and pale arms _clink clink clink_ from the silver bangles on them. If Odd Girl felt the presence of someone behind her, she said nothing. Shigure, however, glanced up at Tohru and grinned goofily.

"Ah, back from shopping already? Well, anyway, there's someone here I want you to meet." Odd Girl whipped her head around to look at Tohru, revealing large green eyes and a nose with unmistakable character on her pale, smiling face. Her expression changed quickly, from pleasant to surprised to ecstatic. Before Tohru could register what was happening, Odd Girl was squealing girlishly and hugging her.

"Ohmygod ohmygod _ohmygod_!!" Odd Girl sure knew how to shriek. "I've been wanting to meet you for soooo long!! You're even more adorable than they said!!"

"Uh, um, excuse me," Tohru yelped, but her words were muffled, seeing as how her face was currently being hugged to Odd Girl's chest.

"Izi-chan, she can't breathe! Let her go!" Kyo--or was it Yuki? Or Shigure? It was slightly hard to hear in Tohru's position--yelled.

Still squealing, albeit quieter, Odd Girl let go of Tohru, only to grab her shoulders and hold her at arms-length. "Let me have a good look at you," she murmured. Her wide eyes swept over Tohru, from her small feet to her tiny miniskirt to her innocent blue eyes and now-messy hair. Satisfied, Odd Girl let go of Tohru and sat back down as if nothing had happened.

Tohru, on the other hand, stood disshelved and confused. _What just happened?_ she thought. _A strange girl suddenly attacked me with a hug and then seemed to analyze every inch of me. I wonder if she's a Sohma?_

During the once-over from Odd Girl, Tohru caught a few details. Odd Girl was around half a foot taller than her, with an hourglass figure she showed off with a a form-fitting raspberry camisole. A frayed denim miniskirt clung to her hips. Her bare toes were painted a wild blue and the silver bangles Tohru had seen before made their _clink clink clink_s as Odd Girl moved.

Shigure, sane for once, beckoned Tohru to sit down sit down next to him. _Can someone _please _explain what just happened?_ she thought.

"You're probably wondering what just happened, Tohru-kun," Shigure voiced her exact thoughts. Vaguely, Tohru nodded yes. Kyo and Yuki took this as a sign to sit down, Yuki slightly bemused and Kyo frowning.

"Well, this lovely young lady in front of me," he waved his hand at Odd Girl, who was now calmly drinking her tea, "is our charming cousin Izuki Sohma. The reason you haven't met her before now is because she's been living in France."

Izuki put down her cup and smiled apologetically. "Sorry about the hug. I've just heard a lot about you from Shigure and Ayame. They described you as very angelic. But now that I've met you, I can see they weren't exaggerating much."

"Oh, you don't have to apologize!" Tohru said. "_I'm_ sorry I didn't introduce myself first." She bowed respectfully. "It's wonderful to meet you Izuki-san!"

Izuki giggled. "Oh Tohru-chan," she snorted. "Call me Izi-chan. Everybody does."

"Anyway, Izi-chan," Yuki interrupted, "can I ask why you're back so soon? I thought you were staying in France unitl next year?"

"Yeah, really" Kyo, ever the polite one, piped in. "Why are you back so soon?"

Izi-chan mock-pouted. "Aww, don't tell me you didn't miss me, Kiki-chan, Koko-chan. I am very much wounded."

Both boys bristled at the nicknames Izi-chan had bestowed on them years ago. "I thought I told you never to call me that!" Kyo bellowed. Yuki just shook his head and sighed. (a/n: FYI, 'kiki-chan' is yuKI, and 'koko-chan' is KyO. get it? oh, and irony: i actually have a cat name coco, and she isn't orange. or a guy.)

"But it's adorable, don't you think Tohru-chan?" IZi-chan cooed, her voice sugary-sweet.

"It's _not_ 'adorable'! And don't drag Tohru into this!" Kyo's face burned red. Tohru assumed it was from anger, but Kyo just didn't want to look stupid in front of her. (a/n: um, it's a little late for that.)

"Kyo-chan," Izi-chan huffed, "I asked Tohru a question, not you. Tohru-chan, don't you think their nicknames are simply adorable?"

"Oh, um, well. . ." Tohru stuttered. She didn't want to offend her new friend, but the last thing she wanted was for Kyo to be mad at her. "I guess that depends on your point of view. I'm going to go make some more tea, okay?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure, more tea would be great." Izi-chan, thankfully, didn't press Tohru for a more decisive answer.

"I'll help you," Kyo muttered as he rose to leave the room. Tohru, of course, protested, saying he should rest, it was her responsibility. By the time she'd finished her rant, Kyo was halfway to the kitchen and Tohru was following him mutely.

Izi-chan had watched the exchange with interest. It had been a year and some months since she'd last seen everyone. At the time, Yuki was ice cold and never talked, never even smiled; Kyo was loud and angry all the time, and would have blown up if anyone had apologized nonstop like Tohru had. _So why didn't he?_ she wondered.

_Ding. Ding. Diiiiing._ A bell went off in her head. _Oh, _duh she thought. _I should have known right away from that _look _her gave her. He's never _looked _at anyone like that before, but I've seen it enough to know it when I see it._

She was thrust from her thoughts when Shigure asked, "So what's the verdict?"

"Definitely a keeper." Her face was suddenly serious. "So, when did it start?"

"When did what start?" Yuki asked. He hoped she wasn't talking about what he thought she was talking about. He was coming to terms with his feelings for Tohru, and of course he knew of of her budding feelings for Kyo and his for her (after all, who didn't?), but he wasn't sure he was ready to talk openly about them.

Ignoring Yuki, Shigure spoke. "Actually," he said, "you _just_ missed something bog. She's accepted him. _All_ of him." At this, Yuki got up and left for his room. He couldn't, it turned out, talk about them, and _especially_ not about that.

Izi-chan's eyes widened. "You mean the. . .?" She couldn't say it. "How did it happen?" (a/n: if you haven't figured it out yet, they're talking about tohru seeing kyo's true form.)

"Kazuma-dono came. He did it." Sigure's ever-present smirk was nowhere to be seen on his face.

"And she's. . .okay with it?" Izi-chan had seen the looks _both_ those two had given each other--whether purposely or not--but was this girl real? Were Tohru's feelings budding love? Or just pity?

Before Shigure could respond, Kyo came in with a tray full of tea and snacks with Tohru right behind him, giggling about something he'd said in the kitchen. Kyo had a whisper of a smile on his face, too. As he set the tray down, his eyes locked with Tohru's for a split second, before he looked away. If his gaze had stayed on her, Kyo would have seen the blush slowing spreading across Tohru's face.

Izi-chan took this as the answer to her question. Although, to be absolutely sure, she'd have to come by _very_ often, lest she miss something important. Very often indeed. . .

* * *

**i suppose this could be considered a one-shot, but it's not. next chappie: izi-chan performs a good deed for everyone at shigure's house, and tohru learns more about the Odd Girl.**


	2. Izuki Deconstructed

**thank you SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed/favorited my story!! you made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside -grins like an idiot-**

Disclaimer: don't own Fruits Basket

* * *

Chapter 2 - Izi-chan Deconstructed

As they ate lunch, Izi-chan clued Tohru into the "basics" of herself. She was two years younger than Shigure, Hatori, and Ayame. She went to France because "I felt my life was becoming too rigid and narrow, and I needed a variable, y'know?" Tohru nodded as if she did (she didn't). Izi-chan knew about the curse (and hugged Yuki to prove it). Her hobbies were fashion ("More like snarking it, actually," she confessed), reading (she explained her major bookworminess), acting, and photography (to commemorate meeting Tohru she whipped out her pink digital camera and demanded a group shot). There was never an awkward silence when Izi-chan was present--unless, of course, she was the one who caused it. Izi-chan was what one describe as "straightforward."

"So, really, Izi-chan. Is there any reason for your sudden arrival?" Yuki asked (he'd come back from his room).

"Not really. I pretty much just felt like it. Although," she slung her arm around Tohru's shoulder, "I did really want to meet Tohru. From what Shigure told me she sounded like she could solve anyone's problems, and you know how fucked up I am." The boys nodded; Izi-chan glared. "So anyway, I had to come see for myself. But there was this whole Big Thing with my friends Claire and Charlie, so I couldn't leave for a couple months, so. . .yeah."

Tohru asked, "What was the Big Thing about, Izi-chan?"

"Just, you know. . .a thing." She shrugged. Tohru nodded again.

Shigure pouted. "What," he said, "is it something you can't tell _me_?"

"Of course I can tell _you_," she said, rolling her eyes. "But if I told _them_"--she waved her hand at the three teenagers--"their little baby brains would explode."

"Hey!" Kyo said. "I'm not a baby."

Izi-chan ignored him. "Yeah, so I just got back like two days ago, and it's just _really really_ great to be back. Everyone seems a lot different."

Shigure rolled his eyes slightly and scoffed not-so-subtly. Izi-chan whipped her head in his direction and sniffed, "Is something terribly hard to believe over there or do you have a grain of rice stuck in your throat, Gure-_chan_?"

He feigned innocence. "Of course not, Izi-chan. It's just that I was wondering if you'd _meant_ everyone when you said 'everyone,'" he remarked cryptically. Izi-chan flipped her hair over her shoulder like she couldn't care less what he was saying. The bite in her words--"Of _course_ I meant everyone"--contradicted her actions. She stared at him with all the iciness she could muster; he stared back with just as much feeling.

Tohru looked from Izi-chan to Shigure back to Izi-chan, but they continued their staring contest. Finally Yuki sighed. "Will you two just stop, please? You're acting like kids in junior high." (a/n: no offense to kids in junior high. but you know how you act. i was there too.)

"It's not my fault she hasn't even _spoken_ to--"

"Oh please," Izi-chan spat, interrupting Shigure. "It's not like she's bothered to speak to _me_ either. Why should _I_ apologize when the whole thing wasn't even my fault? And Jesus Christ, it was five years ago. What the hell does she still have to be bitter about?" This was apparently a rhetorical question, because a second later Izi-chan jumped from her seat practically shouting, "Fine! I couldn't give a _shit_ about it! If she wants to hold a grudge then she can go ahead and hold a fucking grudge!" And with an angrily muttered "bathroom" she stormed off.

"Um, wait ...!" Tohru started to rise out of her seat, but Shigure waved her back down.

"Let her go. I know from personal experience not to bother Izi-chan when she's riled up," said the guy who riled her up.

The room rang with silence. Tohru was very confused as to what just happened. _Does Izi-chan have a split personality like Hatsuharu-san and Kagura-san?_ she thought. _And who was she talking about with such anger?_

Seeing Tohru's confusion written all over her face, Kyo spoke. "She meant Kagura," he remarked, sounding bored. As if the whole situation was nothing new to him and he'd seen it a thousand times.

"Yes," Shigure took over explaining. "You see, Izi-chan has a certain charisma that let's her get along with most people she meets. One of the people she doesn't especially like--" Kyo snorted loudly "--is Kagura.

"As kids, they were pretty close. Kagura saw Izi-chan as a role model and wanted to be just like her. But as they grew older, they started having fights. At first they were just petty ones about nothing important, but then they got pretty bad.

"Then, five years ago, they had a huge argument that turned into a fist fight. I mean, hair pulling, fingernail scratching, very textbook catfight. Izi-chan got a black eye and a few bruises on her face. Much better than the broken nose Kagura walked away with," Shigure mused. Tohru gasped.

"Anyway, their friendship came to a swift halt after that. For a couple weeks they had this Prank War going on, trying to kill each other with humiliation. But I guess they ran out of ideas of something, because now they just ignore each other's existences. That seems to work for them."

Tohru was trying to absorb all this new information about her new friend. _Izi-chan seems like such a kind, fun person_, she pondered. _The Fight_ (it sounded to Tohru like it should be capitalized) _must have been pretty bad for them to be so cruel to each other. I wonder what it was about?_

She didn't realize she'd said the last of her thoughts aloud until Shigure smirked. "To answer that," he purred, "you'd have to ask Izi-chan."

Although the answer didn't satisfy Tohru, she let the question go. Kyo, however, did not.

"Wait, Shigure," he said. "I never found out what the fight was about either. Can't you tell me?" Yuki nodded; he also wanted to know what provoked the two to such rage.

But the Zodiac dog just shook his head. "If I told, Izi-chan would surely murder me while I slept. You know how she gets." In agreement, the three men shuddered. Tohru was confused again.

Seeing Tohru's familiar lost expression, Shigure explained. "If you cross Izi-chan, she waits till you're asleep and then she ... punishes you."

"How?" Such innocence.

"Well," he said scratching his head awkwardly. "Once, in high school, she drew erotic pictures on my face with Sharpie and put pink streaks in my hair that lasted for a week." Yuki and Kyo snickered; they'd both forgotten that incident.

"It was totally uncalled for, too," Shigure cried dramatically. "All I did was politely point out that the bottom of her uniform skirt was stuck in her underwear. There was no reason for her to be such a b--"

"--Beauty?" Izi-chan cut in. She stood in the doorway looking considerably calmed down, except for her hair: It was slightly messier, like she'd raked her fingers through it one too many times. She glided over to the seat she had vacated earlier. "Why _thank you_, Gure-chan. But if I remember correctly, you nearly screamed--in the middle of a crowded cafeteria, I might add--'I can see Izi-chan's ass!'" She grinned, glowing with reminiscent satisfaction.

"Anyway, to steer the conversation away from my ass," Izi-chan said, not the least bit embarrassed to be talking about her rear end. "While I was cooling off, I did a HUGE favor for all of you. No need to thank me, I was glad to help. Although I was a little shocked to see that you guys had let things get so bad while I was away."

There was a collective sweatdrop among the men at the table. If Izi-chan considered it a favor, God knows what it could be. She might've replaced all their shampoo with girl-scented, super volume stuff or put tons of pictures of herself in all their rooms. Would she have had time to do that?

Tohru, having not experienced full-attack Izi-chan, asked the question burning everyone's lips: "What exactly did you do, Izi-chan?"

Her response was an evil smile and seven terrifying words.

"Go look in your closets and see."

* * *

**i don't know if that counts as a cliffie or not. either way, i promise there's nothing dead/disturbing in their closets. or maybe there is and i only said that to throw you off the scent. O.o you'll have to read and find out!! and review if you have time.**


	3. Drill Sergeants Make the Best Shoppers

**OOOOOOOOOOOH my god, thank you so so much to reviewers/favorite-story-ers/story-alert-ers!! i am so thrilled that people actually LIKE this story!! thank you!!**

Disclaimer: Je ne suis pas propiétaire de Fruits Basket, mon amoureux. (translation: I don't own Fruits Basket, my sweethearts, in french!) i also don't own any of the stores i mention.

* * *

Chapter 3 - Drill Sergeants _Do_ Make the Best Shopping Partners

At first, none of them moved. Izi-chan evil smile was still in place. After what seemed like hours, Tohru cleared her throat and started to rise to her feet,

"Um," she started, "I guess I'll see then." Izi-chan's evil look melted into one of joy, and with with merry clap of her hands she was up out of her seat right next to Tohru.

"I promise you won't be disappointed Tohru-chan," she stated gleefully, linking her arm through Tohru's and pulling her in the direction of the stairs. "Shigure gave me a tour of the house before you got here, so I know where everyone's rooms are and everything."

Yuki and Kyo glared daggers at Shigure. _Great,_ they thought. _Now she knows exactly where we sleep._

Still, they didn't have much time to worry about themselves when they remembered Izi-chan was currently leading Tohru to "something in her closet," and God knows what could be.

Once they were at Tohru's door, Izi-chan covered Tohru's eyes with her hands. "I want it to be a 100 surprise," she chirped. Tohru smiled along along with her, for she didn't know what to expect. The boys, however, were still far from calm. (a/n: O.O the suspense is killing me!!)

"Now," Izi-chan continued, "I know that when you see what I've done you'll want to scream out in joy, but I must insist that you please do not. I'm a very delicate person." This earned a snort from Kyo, which earned a slap upside the head from Izi-chan. "So, without further ado. . ." Izi-chan thrust open the door, pushed everyone inside, and yelled, "SURPRISE!"

Whatever reaction she was hoping for, this was the one she got: A group gasp, followed by stunned silence. Finally, after a few seconds (possibly minutes), Kyo blurted out "How is this a good thing??"

It looked as if Tohru's closet had exploded. All her clothes were separated into three seemingly random piles throughout the room. Her desk was covered in jewelry, hair ribbons, and some other shiny things. Bags and shoes were scattered about the floor, and--as a certain crème de la crème--all Tohru's books, journals, and photo albums were in a big pile on her bed.

"Don't you see Koko-chan?" Izi-chan asked, putting her hands on her hips. Tohru was still staring at the mess, wide-eyed. Yuki's was sighing loudly and repeatedly. Shigure looked to be either silently crying or laughing, depending on where you were standing.

Kyo continued his fuming at the older girl. "What, you destroy Tohru's room and we're supposed to kiss your feet?!"

Izi-chan raised a carefully sculpted eyebrow in annoyance. "That's not what I said." She rolled her eyes at him, as if he was working her last nerve and was just being so _difficult_. "I've started cleaning out her closet. I've done the same in your rooms, too." With that said, all three men fell anime-style, while Izi-chan led a still-shocked Tohru to the piles of clothing.

"You see, Tohru-chan," she said warmly. "I can already see you're a very kind person, and I get the feeling that these guys"--she jerked her head in the direction of the males--"don't reward you very often. That's why I've separated your clothes into these three sections: keep, fix, and charity.

"The first section, keep, is everything that's, well, keepable. That pile has the most in it, which is a lot more than I can say for my cousins.

Fix, the second section, is clothes that are cute but a little long, too big, have a rip or tear somewhere, etcetera. These things can be fixed easily.

"And last, we have charity. This section is for things that just shouldn't have been bought." Seeing Tohru's mixed expression of worry and hurt, Izi-chan quickly added, "But don't worry, there's only one or two things in there anyway. Some plaid stuff. Nobody looks good in plaid." This seemed to calm Tohru. (a/n: i got the "keep, fix, charity" thing from Tim Gunn. make it work!)

As the two girls pawed through the piles and talked quietly, the boys slunk out of the room as silently as possible. As soon as they outside, though, they bolted in the directions of their rooms. Just as predicted, all three met similar scenarios of clothing massacre as was in Tohru's room: Clothes in three piles; shoes strewn about the room; books and journals in a huge pile. In Shigure's room, Izi-chan had put all his porn into the "circular file." (a/n: that's what my english teacher calls the trash can. she thinks she's so hi_lar_ious.) How on earth had she done all that so fast?

As each of them inspected the piles of clothes, curious as to what Izi-chan considered "keeps" and "charities," their increasingly charming cousin called them down to the living room. Izi-chan and Tohru sat at the table, chatting away about the clothes that would just look _so cute_ on Tohru, so she should totally borrow this one pair of earrings that Izi-chan got in France, and wouldn't a matching bag and pair of sling-back heels be completely adorable?

The answer was decidedly yes.

"So," Izi-chan stated as soon as the boys were settled in with them. "Now that I've weeded out the Unwearables that were plaguing your wardrobes--you're welcome, by the way--I think the next step in this equation is obvious." She was met with blank stares. Eye roll. "Really? Do I honestly have to spell it out for you guys?" More blank stares. Another eye roll. She looked heavenward for patience (Izi-chan had a notoriously short temper). "Fine," she sighed. "In the simplest terms possible, we're going shopping."

Shigure gasped and grinned (he even bounced a little in his seat). Yuki and Kyo said in unison, "I am NOT going shopping." Tohru launched into a speech about how Izi-chan should really save her money for something for herself, she didn't--couldn't--except a gift from her new friend. Izi-chan dismissed all their comments with a dramatic wave of her hands.

"You're all going and that's final." She had the bossy aura of a older sibling; ironic, seeing as she'd told Tohru earlier that she was the youngest of three daughters. The confidence she radiated was one that the other knew they wouldn't be able to go up against.

Still, they wouldn't be our favorite cat and rat if they weren't stubborn. They repeated, again in unison, "I'm not going shopping."

Izi-chan ignored them and turned to Tohru, who still looked unsure. "Tohru-chan," she whined. _Now_ she sounded like the baby daughter she was. "Tohru-chan, _please_ come with us. It's my treat. I'm doing this because I _want_ to, _please?_ Shopping is how I bond with people, so if you don't come then I'll feel like you don't really want to be my friend." This got Tohru on board. Score one for the younger siblings.

Seeing how it was a hopeless three-against-two battle (besides, Tohru had already agreed and they could never go against her), the boys grumbled and muttered about annoying cousins while putting on their shoes.

* * *

Squished together in Izi-chan's green VW Bug ("Punch buggy!" Shigure had cried, slugging both his cousins on the shoulder and earning two much stronger punches in return), the five headed off to the nearest mall.

"So," Izi-chan said, breaking through the silence that had enveloped the car. "I've been dying to ask: how long have you two been dating?" The response she got was three confused teenagers and one smirking Shigure who was trying to hide his giggles with fake coughing.

"How long have who been dating, Izi-chan?" Tohru asked, although she was fairly sure she knew who the older girl had meant.

Giving the innocent blink she'd perfected from years of acting classes, Izi-chan continued. "You and Kyo-chan of course." The two both turned six shades of red, while Shigure giggled freely (and loudly). Yuki deliberately kept his gaze focused out the window.

"Wh-why would ou--I mean of course we're not--you--!" Kyo sputtered, still blushing madly. "W-we're not dating!!" Tohru, who was even redder that Kyo, kept her mouth tightly shut and stared into her lap.

"Oh, no?" Izi-chan simpered. "My mistake. You two just seem so comfortable together. . .and the way you keep sneaking glances at each other. . .I guess I just _assumed_. So sorry!" Although she didn't seem that sorry at all.

"Yeah, well you assumed wrong." Kyo, who by now resembled an orange-topped tomato, attempted to move as far away as possible from Tohru, who attempted to to the same. Being in a tiny VW Bug made this very difficult. "And for your information, _Izi-chan_," Kyo spat acidly, "Tohru and I don't 'sneak glances' at each other. God, we're just friends, okay?" She didn't miss the disappoint in his eyes, betraying Kyo's words.

Izi-chan rolled her eyes and nodded absently, mumbling something like "of course, of course."

Shigure was practically shrieking with laughter now, but none of the others shushed him. Probably because they knew that the awkward silence that was sure to follow would swallow them whole if they did.

* * *

Shopping with Izi-chan was a lot like what Kyo assumed shopping with a drill sergeant was like: everything strict and in order.

Upon arriving at the mall, she'd ordered the guys to scope the different stores and find at least five things they liked, then meet up with herself and Tohru at the food court in twenty minutes exactly. Izi-chan would inspect their choices after a quick snack-and-drink break. "That way I can make sure you don't buy any replicas of the ugly shit I threw away!" she chirped before waving goodbye and dragging Tohru in a separate direction.

The first stop for the girls was Old Navy. "For the basics," Izi-chan said. There was a flurry of arms and colors, and the nest thing Tohru knew she was being shoved into a changing room with an armful of clothes. Through the door, Tohru heard Izi-chan say "Just try everything on and show me the things you like."

Five minutes later (Izi-chan was on a schedule after all), the girls left the store with a bag in each hand. In the bags were, among other things, about ten camisoles in various colors, several jean mini skirts, and a "totally adorable" lemon-colored dress that Tohru thought showed too much cleavage but Izi-chan had talked her into.

They headed to a few more stores, including Forever 21, Steve Madden, and Victoria's Secret (Izi-chan had insisted, despite Tohru's blushing objections). Izi-chan said something about them checking out Harajuku and the thrift stores some other time, like maybe with Tohru's friends?

Meanwhile, the boys were not experiencing the same levels of success. Firstly, they were men, and men in general never seemed to get the shopping nirvana women did. And Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure were among the least enthusiastic of male shoppers. Kyo shuffled moodily through the store he'd chosen randomly, occasionally noticing a shirt or hoodie that was sort of okay-ish. Yuki, who sense of style was more classic and clean, went on search of a map or mall directory. Shigure wandered off in the direction of the Victoria's Secret Izi-chan and Tohru were exciting.

Although twenty minutes went by painfully slow, the finally all met up at the food court.

"So how were things for you three?" Tohru asked cheerfully.

"Not very good," came Yuki's reply. "Painful," Shigure whimpered while rubbing the red hand-shaped mark on his cheek. "Eh," Kyo shrugged.

Izi-chan looked unimpressed. "Well _we_ had a fantastic time," she stated. Her patented Rapid Mindless Girl Babble started: "Ohmygod, you should see this one dress we got Tohru, it is SO cute. At first she was like 'My boobs are totally popping out,' but I was like 'No way, you look so hot,' and she was like 'Won't guys be staring at my chest,' and I was like 'Well some attention is good for your self-esteem,' and she was like--"

"Wait, what?!" Izi-chan was cut off by Kyo, who looked to be on his way to livid. "You bought Tohru a dress that'll make guys stare at her?" He didn't dare utter the word "chest," for fear his head would explode from the amount of blood that would surely rush to his head. _No!_ his mind screamed. _I'm turning into some kind of pervert like Shigure. And I _do not _like Tohru like that!! God, stop blushing, me!_

"Oh, come one, Kyo," Izi-chan said. "Don't be so old-fashioned. It's the twenty-first century, Tohru has the right to wear whatever the hell she wants! And FYI, you aren't related to her in any way, and you aren't her boyfriend, so I fail to see why any of this is even your business."

Tohru, whose presence was forgotten during this argument, smiled in spite of herself. She secretly wanted the dress more than nay of the other purchases. For reasons she didn't understand, Tohru desperately wanted Kyo to notice her as more than a sister or cousin, as she was sure he saw her as (which just goes to show how much she knows).

Maybe Izi-chan could help her with those kinds of things; she seemed pretty experienced with dating and relationships.

". . .guys start harassing her, I'm coming after you Izi-chan." Tohru zoned back in in time to hear the last bit of Kyo and Izi-chan's bickering, which had been continuing on the whole time Tohru had been thinking.

Izi-chan smirked devilishly. "I'll tell you what, Koko-chan," she said. "If you can beat me at arm-wrestling, right here and now, best two out of three, I return the dress." She paused before adding, "And I'll give you 2000 yen." (a/n: that's about 20 bucks in american money.)

Kyo, never being one to deny a challenge, agreed. And before Tohru could register that fact that Kyo was practically fighting for her honor (because, really, he pretty much was), their table was cleared and Shigure and Yuki were on either side of the arm wrestler (Shigure on Kyo's side, Yuki on Izi-chan's) with Tohru in the midst of it all.

"Three rounds, two contestants, only one winner," Shigure said in a low announcer's voice. Yuki shushed him.

The whole thing went by pretty fast. Tohru was surprised that Izi-chan had such a strong arm (although somehow that seemed fitting for her). She was not surprised at all, however, to see Kyo so strong (after all, she regularly watched him fighting Yuki). Tohru often found herself staring at his arms when he helped her in the kitchen or carried groceries for her. _Oh, stop it_, she told herself. _Why am I thinking about Kyo's arms? Next I'll probably be looking at his butt!_ Cue blush.

Her head snapped back up when she heard an arm hit the table, signaling that someone had won the first round. Izi-chan smirked as she took a congratulatory swig of her Diet Coke. Kyo cursed under his breath while he rubbed his arm. "There's still two more rounds, _Izuki,_" he grumbled, invoking Izi-chan much-hated full name.

The next round went quicker than the first: Kyo slammed down Izi-chan's arm and yelled out "YES!" Tohru gasped and clapped wildly for him, as did Shigure. Kyo felt a surge of pride when Tohru cheered him on, but a wave of annoyance when Shigure did. He wondered vaguely why that was, but decided that if he ignored it long enough it would probably go away. Kyo was what some people (Izi-chan) would call emotionally retarded.

The last round would break their tie. By this time, the group of Sohmas and Honda had attracted a small crowd, mostly love-struck teenage girls (cheering for Kyo) and testosterone-heavy guys (staring down Izi-chan's shirt), plus several old ladies who had strayed from their mall-walking (?). The tension was high once the arm wrestling started again. Kyo had a determined look on his face, while Izi-chan still held her confident smirk.

Truthfully, she didn't care much if Kyo won or not; she wouldn't return the dress. She'd seen the look in Tohru's eyes when she'd seen her reflection in the mirror. She remembered the disappointment dancing across Tohru's features when Kyo said they weren't dating (and the disappointment on Kyo's face). These added up to only one answer: They were in love, or at least serious like, with each other, and they didn't even know it.

SLAM!

Izi-chan was so lost in her thoughts she'd let her guard down. She didn't realize till it was over that Kyo had beaten her, for the first time in years, at arm wrestling. She started to chuckle.

There was semi-loud cheering from the teenage girls and little old ladies for Kyo. He didn't pay them any attention, though: the only reaction her was looking for was Tohru's.

She was clapping and giggling enthusiastically. She wanted so badly to hug him. So instead, she grabbed both his hands and squeezed them tenderly. Kyo's eyes widened at the sudden contact, but he didn't pull away. He loved the way her small hands felt in his, like they were molded perfectly for each other. Without thinking, he brought a hand up to Tohru's face and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, earning a glowing blush from the girl (because it's not like she didn't already look like a stop sign).

What was left of their psuedo-audience let out a group "AAAWWW!!" led by Izi-chan and Shigure (Yuki pretended to be interested in a potted plant). Kyo zoned back into the world and yanked his hand away from Tohru's face like he'd been burned. Tohru found she missed the warmth of his hand.

"SO, um, Izi-chan, I'll take that 2000 yen now if you don't mind," Kyo said, his face burning with embarrassment that practically the entire food court had just witnessed his soft side. The side only Tohru was allowed to see.

Izi-chan, still amused, let a knowing smile slip onto her face as she rooted around inside her oversized black leather tote for her wallet. "Yeah, yeah," she mumbled halfheartedly. "I'll get you next time, lover boy."

* * *

Arms full of shopping bags, the boys trudged through the mall to the parking lot to put their (but mostly Izi-chan's) purchases in Izi-chan's car. She and Tohru, of course, didn't have to carry have to carry anything, being delicate ladies.

"Do you expect us to break a sweat doing something as trivial as carrying bags? Puh-_lease_, it's not ladylike behavior," sniffed the girl who, not hours before, had thrown down an arm wrestling challenge and nearly won. Of course, if the boys had taken to carrying her things right away, Izi-chan would have smacked each of them upside the head with her purse for assuming that her status as a woman made her any less capable of carrying bags . Izi-chan did these kinds of things a lot.

"When you finish with that," Izi-chan called, "Tohru and I will head off to the salon for mani-pedis and waxing."

"And what exactly are we supposed to do while we're waiting?" Yuki snapped crankily. Shopping all day hadn't put him in a good mood.

_Stupid boy_, Izi-chan thought. "Listen to music in my car, go eat something, get your own damn manicure," she snapped right back. "I don't give a shit, just as long as you stay away from us for a half hour. Girls need privacy when they're being pampered; it's like a confessional." With that said, Izi-cha grabbed Tohru's thin wrist and turned on her heel, off to some "girl time."

Once in the salon--Tohru absently recalled seeing a sign that said 'Joie Salon'--Izi-chan strode up to the receptionist and did the talking. Within two minutes she and Tohru were in massage chairs with their feet in warm water.

"So," Tohru started, "Izi-chan, are you disappointed that Kyo-kun beat you?"

If she was (she wasn't), she didn't show it. "No. Kyo hasn't beaten my at arm wrestling in years. I'm impressed." She paused and glanced at Tohru. "Are you glad that he won?" Her grabbing Kyo's hands the way she did seemed like gladness. (a/n: is gladness a word?)

"Oh, of course! Kyo-kun is. . ." Tohru trailed off, searching for the perfect adjective to describe him. "He's just really great." Tohru's face softened, a serene smile pulling at her lips. She didn't seem to notice.

"What about the dress?"

Apparently she'd forgotten that one detail of the bet, too wrapped up in Kyo's win. "Oh, she said with a grin too cheery to be real, "well, it doesn't really matter anyway. I don't need the dress." _Even if it _is _really, really pretty,_ she thought.

Izi-chan gave her a look that said _don't bullshit me_. "Tohru-chan, if you really want the dress," she said, "then tell Kyo that. And I know you want it, I can tell. You speak out more often." Tohru still looked uneasy. Izi-chan lowered her voice and whispered, "Just between you and me, Kyo-chan can't say no to you. Especially when you give the Big Blue Eyes look." Tohru, humble as she was, blushed for about the millionth time that day.

"Anyway," Izi-chan said while choosing the nail polish color for her toes, "let's change the subject. What do you want to talk about? I'm open to anything; I have no secrets." (a/n: that's a big, BIG lie that will come back to bite her in the ass.)

Something from earlier that day clicked in Tohru's mind. She thought back to their conversation less than a minute ago when Izi-chan told her to speak out, as well as when Kyo said something similar. And, well, Izi-chan _did_ say she was open to anything. . .

Tohru asked timidly, "Well, Izi-chan, I was wondering. . .I mean, if you don't my asking. . ."

"It's okay," Izi-chan prompted. "Really, ask anything you want. I'll answer truthfully."

Tohru smiled shyly. "Okay. Izi-chan, what was your fight with Kagura-san about?"

* * *

**another chappie done!! i'll update soon if i get reviews. . .please and thank you!! (the politeness was drilled into my head from an early age, blame my dad.)**


	4. At Least the Cake Was Good

**thank you for the reviews!! warm and fuzzies to you all.**

**Disclaimer: Furuba not mine **

* * *

Chapter 4 - At Least the Cake Was Good

Izi-chan froze with a bright magenta-colored nail polish in her hand. Her features became pointed with. . .something. Anger? Guilt?

Tohru immediately regretted asking. "I mean, you don't have--"

"No," Izi-chan interrupted. She sighed. "It's fine. Of course you would wonder about that; Shigure loves telling the story. It's just. . .kinda embarrassing. Well, Kagura and I were best friends, even with the six-year gap. We told each other everything, never kept secrets from each other, Jesus--we even did the whole braid each other's hair thing.

"So, yeah, I knew about her crush--if you can call it that--on Kyo. It wasn't exactly something she hid. I'd never really supported her when it came to him, though. A lot of the time I'd try to distract her from him. I think she sometimes hated me because of it. But that's what our friendship was, y'know? Loving and hating.

"In the weeks before her fifteenth birthday, though, it was getting really bad. She was going totally gaga over him, _Way_ past the attacking stuff she normally does. I was getting so sick of all the 'I'm gonna marry him' shit. I felt like I really had to say something to her, before she hurt herself. Or Kyo. Or me. Or, just, anybody.

"Anyway, I'd promised I'd throw her a big birthday party. I invited all the Zodiacs--and Kyo--and ordered a ginormous six-layer chocolate cake, her favorite. And I was trying the whole time to tell her to tone things down, I really was. But she--God, she just wouldn't hear it. She was so stubborn!" Izi-chan was visibly angry by now, but she kept her voice low. Tohru continued to listen patiently.

"She just wouldn't listen to me. So I gave her the bitchy attitude, kinda hoping she'd ask me about it so I could talk to her, But she didn't. Maybe she thought I was, I dunno, in Super PMS Mode or something. She gave me attitude right back, because that's what we did when one of us was moody: Told the other to take a Midol and get over it.

"That's when we started fighting. At first the fights were just stupid: Who got the last onigiri, whether we saw the new romantic comedy or shitty horror flick, blah blah blah. Then, it got worse, because I started eating pork again. Being BFFs with Kagura, I'd sworn off the stuff.

"So, I finally my chance to talk to her, at her birthday party naturally. Have I told you about my awesome luck yet?" She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I told her I thought she was being unfair to Kyo, forcing herself on him all the time when he obviously didn't feel the same way. I told her she _knew_ she didn't really love him, and she was only pretending for the sake of her own ego. I told her I'd always hated how she threw the word around. _Love._" Izi-chan hid her face with a curtain of her dark hair, not bothering to conceal her scowl.

"Well, you can imagine that she was not terribly please to hear my thoughts on her non-love life. She said friends don't talk to friends like that, and I was just jealous that she had someone to care about and I didn't."

She coughed before continuing. "Some more things were said--admittedly, they were mostly from me--and then she slapped me." Tohru gasped. "And, I mean, I didn't want to hurt as bad as I did, I _swear_ I didn't. It's just a knee-jerk reaction, when someone hits me, to hit them back. Things got out of hand, and then next thing I knew I had broken her nose, she had blackened my eye, and we were both covered in six layers of ginormous chocolate cake in front of all the Zodiacs--and Kyo." Izi-chan finished her story with a long sigh. She quickly blinked away the angry tears dotting her eyes; no way would she let Tohru--not to mention the whole of Joie Salon, who was listening intently (though most of them looked a little confused)--see her cry.

"Everything was pretty shitty after that. For the next few weeks, we had our big, stupid Prank War going on. Very mature of us, huh? At one point, I had no clean clothes because Kagura had gotten green slime over all of them. I'm still not completely sure how.

"I don't like _how_ it ended, with the public humiliation and cake and stuff, but I'd be lying if I said I wish we were still friends. I think that some friendships just aren't built to last, and we have to deal with that. I do miss some of the good ol' times occasionally, but after what happened there's no going back." Izi-chan looked up from her lap, which she'd focused on during her story, ready to see the disgusted, _Ohmygod-what-a-bitch_ look she'd learned not to react to through years of catty girls whispering behind her back. She was genuinely shocked to see Tohru with eyes leaking tears.

"Why are you crying?" Izi-chan asked, wide-eyed.

"I think you made the right choice," Tohru whispered. The tears continued to stream down her face. "It's sad to lose a friend, of course. But it's not just that you've accepted it all, you still think about it. You're human. And," she wiped her face with her sleeve, "you stood up for Kyo. Thank you."

If Izi-chan thought she was shocked before, what Tohru did next threw her for a complete loop: She hugged her. "No, Tohru," she whispered. "Thank _you_."

Tohru pulled away. "For what?"

"Nothing, nothing." Izi-chan waved her freshly-manicured hands, careful not to smudge them on anything. The awkward post-bonding silence was pushed away by Izi-chan re-embracing her confident aura, starting on her Mindless Girl Babble once again. "So yeah, that color for you toes will totally go with the lavender shirt we got you, are you gonna model the outfits for the guys? Ohmygod, they'd so totally freak if you did! Kyo would go all protective BF on you, right?"

Tohru smiled. Underneath the bubbly, confident social butterfly Izi-chan flounced in front of everyone, there was a vulnerable girl who'd lost a friend, who was surprisingly good at arm wrestling, and Tohru wanted to be that girl's friend.

* * *

The girls walked out of Joie Salon, primped and polished like little porcelain dolls. They strutted up to the guys, who looked peeved at having spent the whole day with each other.

"Having fun?" Izi-chan asked sweetly. She had to admit, watching them squirm _was_ pretty fun after spilling her guts to Torhu.

Kyo glared at her. "What the hell to you think? If I have to spend one more goddamn minute with these two, I'm going to explode."

"Same to you, baka neko," Yuki remarked.

Before a fist fight could break out, Izi-chan said, "Fine, you drama queens. We'll go just as soon as Kyo takes Tohru to return the dress, _right Tohru?_" Izi-chan winked at her. She quickly slipped the receipt and bag in Kyo's hands and shoved the two off in a random direction. "Bye bye!"

The two stumbled away. Yuki looked suspiciously at Izi-chan. "He's not going to return the dress, is he?"

She smirked. "That's not really within my power," she stated, "now is it?"

"500 yen says he let's her keep the dress!" Shigure exclaimed. (a/n: that's a little less than 5.)

Izi-chan replied, "You're on!"

* * *

Tohru and Kyo were having a bit of a hard time finding the store. Tohru was _sure_ she and Izi-chan had turned left at the fountain. Kyo was _sure_ that he'd seen some sort directory a few stores back. Neither were _sure_ where they were exactly.

"How long does it take to find a goddamn store?!" Kyo grumbled, low enough so Tohru couldn't hear it and start apologizing for getting them lost. He gave up looking around and walked over to a conveniently located bench. Tohru followed and sat down next to him.

It was now or never. "Um, Kyo-kun," she started, "about the dress. . ."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I know you're worried about boys saying weird things to me if I wear it, but I know how to take care of myself." Kyo snorted. "Well, maybe not, but as long as I'm not alone what do I have to worry about?"

Kyo contemplated what she said. She did have a point: If she were with Hanajima and Uotani, they surely wouldn't allow any sketchy guys within twenty feet of her; Yuki would make sure of the same. And as for himself, he'd kick the ass of any guy that harassed Tohru. _Hmmm,_ he thought. _She must've picked up some debating skills from Izi-chan during their 'girl time.'_

He smiled softly at her. "Maybe you're right. Do you really like the dress?"

"Yes, of course!"

Kyo stood up and put a hand out to help Tohru up. "Then you should have it. Now, come on. I want to go home."

Tohru grinned from ear to ear as she took his hand. Neither of them let go once Tohru was on her feet.

* * *

They did eventually have to let go, however. As they approached the others approximately thirty minutes later, Kyo thought he saw Izi-chan slip something into Shigure's hand and Yuki rolling his eyes.

Before the teasing could start, Kyo muttered, "She's keeping the dress, okay?"

The three smirked.

"Well then," Izi-chan said, "let's head back. I have a few more presents for you guys at home."

* * *

**so there's chapter 4!! review if you want to know the rest of the tricks izi-chan has up her sleeves (again, nothing dead/disturbing, promise).**


	5. Someone Who's Not Me

**i just really felt like writing some more, so here's chapter five. oh, and i just realized like a half hour ago that i missed 'friendship' in the title. i forgot the 'd.' am i a dumbass or what? if stewie could see that. . .i correct her grammar and spelling much more than she'd like**.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.**

* * *

Chapter 5 - Someone Who's Not Me

"Izi-chan," Yuki observed, "how will we all fit into the car when your bags are taking up one of the seats back here?" Indeed, the shopping bags labeled--of all the luck--Victoria's Secret were taking up the entire left portion of the backseat of Izi-chan's car. It seemed the trunk had been filled to the brim with the other bags, so the very tired Sohma men had had to improvise.

She was not fazed by this information. "Tohru, sit on Kyo's lap."

Tohru eyes popped out of her head while Kyo turned bright red (AGAIN). "What the hell?" he sputtered. "No way is she sitting on my lap!"

"Then you can sit on Yuki's lap." That shut everyone's gaping mouth, the mental image burned into their brains. Kyo climbed into the car and pulled Tohru into his lap. Within a five seonds all the door were slammed and Izi-chan's freshly-pedicured foot hit the gas pedal.

Tohru felt flummoxed and embarrassed to be sitting on Kyo's lap. She could feel his strong legs underneath her's. If she turned her head just a little, she'd be kissing him. She had no idea he just as bemused as she was. To have Tohru perched on his knee like a little girl with her father. Although, the 'little girl' was was a teenager with her. . .teenager parts practically in his face, and at that moment Kyo wanted to be much, much more than her father. He mentally slapped himself for the dirty thoughts. _This is Tohru!_ he screamed. _She's my friend!_

Yuki peered at the blushing two through his bangs. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about the entire situation; it was somewhere between wanting to throttle Kyo and an urge to dissolve into booming laughter. Apparently he settled for the latter. He started snickering quietly, then slightly louder, and louder until he got the attention of the blushing non-couple next to him and Shigure. They joined in, and when Izi-chan looked in the rear-view mirror she couldn't help but giggle too. Soon the whole car had tears in their eyes from the insane, spur-of-the-moment laughter that had sprung on them for no reason at all.

Izi-chan pulled over--she couldn't see very well, she was laughing so hard--and wiped her eyes. "Okay," she chortled. "Okay, what was that all about?" She let out one more stray giggle.

Yuki leaned back in his seat, hand covering his still-twittering mouth while muttering, "N-nothing, I just, just had th-this uncontrollable, u-u-u-urge!" He guffawed some more. This sent the rest of the group into another round of crazy giggles.

* * *

Sobered up after their laughing fit, the rest of the car ride was spent in a not-_too_-awkward silence (Tohru was still on Kyo's lap, after all, so there was _some_ awkwardness). Izi-chan pulled her car into the parking lot of the random super market they driven too. She turned off the ignition and turned around to face the teenagers in the back. "Kay," she said, "so, I have to pick up a few things real quick. Shigure's coming with me, and I'm leaving the keys so you can listen to the radio or whatever. We'll be fast!" Then she and Shigure bolted out of the car.

With their number one _and_ number two source of talking gone, the not-_too_-awkward silence became an Ohmygod-this-is-so-painfully-awkward silence. Yuki, decidedly funned-out, leaned forward slowly and switched the radio on. The station it was on was playing a bouncy J-Pop song. The lively beat and meaningless lyrics filled the small space, getting rid of the silence but not the awkwardness.

Tohru cleared her throat daintily. "So," she started. She paused. "What a long day, huh?"

The two boys nodded. "Yes," Yuki said. "Izi-chan can be a lot to handle. I apologize if she. . .scared you at any time today."

"Oh, no! She was really fun."

"That's good." The song ended. Someone on the radio started talking enthusiastically about an insurance agency.

Kyo decided to break the excruciating non-silence. "What did you and Izi-chan talk about when you were getting your nails done?"

She adopted a fake grin and shrieked, "Nothing! We just talked about stuff!"

"Is it nothing or is it stuff?" Kyo smirked.

Yuki glared. "Don't tease her."

Tohru sweatdropped; she didn't want an argument after such a fun day. "No, it's fine, we just talked about. . .um, girl stuff? I think she said something about Midol." That wasn't _technically_ a lie.

It shut them up anyway. Subject: dropped.

"Oh! But she said she wanted to meet Uo-chan and Hana-chan and look at some thrift stores," Tohru said, still desperately trying to make conversation.

"Did she?" Yuki mused. "That's nice."

Kyo felt left out. He was a little angry that Yuki and Tohru were being so chummy. He wanted no other guys to talk to her. _What does mean?_ he wondered. _It's probably something so glaringly obvious I'll want to hit myself when I find out._ (a/n: um, YEAH. it really is.) Kyo was so emotionally retarded he couldn't even realize he was jealous.

A shriek interrupted Kyo's thinking and Tohru and Yuki's awkward attempts at conversation. Izi-chan and Shigure were running from the store, plastic bags in hand, screaming with laughter for the second time that day at an angry man around their age, who was chasing them.

"Oh, God," Kyo said. "What did they do?"

The two (not at all) responsible adults dove for the car and jumped in, nearly crushing their purchases. They slammed their doors and sped off. Tohru felt déjà vu.

"Um," she murmured. "Why was that man chasing you two?"

Shigure grinned moronically. "He was an old boyfriend of Izi-chan who--"

"Shut up Shigure!" Izi-chan laughed. To Tohru, "Just a disgruntled ex-paramour, who thinks the reason I dumped him a few years ago was 'cause I cheated on him. I wasn't, FYI. He was just a bad kisser."

Shigure rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure kissing was all you did with that him."

"Oh, as if I'd sleep with that creep. I do have _standards_, you know."

"As appropriate as this conversation is," Kyo interrupted, "what did you guys buy that was so important?"

"It's a surprise, Koko-chan," Izi-chan chided. "But I promise you'll love it."

"Yeah, well, the last surprise you promised I'd love ended with me spending all day shopping with that kuso nezumi."

Good-natured bickering continued throughout the ride home, but Tohru felt giddy. She hoped whatever Izi-chan had bought would be a perfect end to this perfect day.

* * *

They finally arrived back at the house just as the sun was setting. What a long-ass day.

Izi-chan immediately ran to the kitchen and declared it off-limits to everyone for the next fifteen minutes. Yuki and Kyo felt a bit frightened as to what she was doing in there.

Tohru let the boys carry her bags up to her room (seeing as there were so many). She tried on every outfit, shoe, and piece of underwear (she had to admit, stopping at Victoria's Secret _had_ been a good idea). The last thing she tried on was the lemon-colored dress that showed almost-too-much cleavage. She imagined herself walking down the street in it, everyone stopping to stare at her. One person in particular would take her in his strong arms and--oh, what was she thinking? _Snap out of it, me,_ she thought.

"Ooh, the dress looks great!" Tohru jumped as Izi-chan's voice boomed into her room. "Are you gonna show the guys?"

Tohru toyed with the hem of the dress nervously. "Well, I don't know. . ." she said, "I'm not sure if it's such a good idea."

"What?!" Izi-chan sat on Tohru's bed (Tohru had put the pile of books away). "Why? You look hot in it."

"Well, it's just that it's not the kind of thing I usually wear, and it looks a little out of place on me, so--"

Izi-chan brightened and leaped from her cushioned seat. "Then how 'bout I do you're makeup to match? Or better, we can go for a whole clashing motif, like really thick, dark eye liner and a thick black belt and those boots I was wearing today? Wait, what's you're shoe size again. . ." She was on a cosmetic roll, and before Tohru could register what was happening Izi-chan had shoved her into a chair with a towel covering her front.

"Izi-chan--" Tohru tried to protest, but Izi-chan quickly told her to "close your mouth before you swallow the lip gloss."

Once the lip gloss was on, Tohru was allowed to talk. As Izi-chan carefully applied a clean stroke of eye shadow, the younger girl asked, "Izi-chan, what about the food you were making?"

"It's all good," Izi-chan replied. "I got Shigure to watch the stuff. I just hope he doesn't eat it all."

Tohru giggled. "Yeah, he does get pretty hungry." The sat in silence--a comfortable silence, thankfully, not a replay of the _extremely_ uncomfortable silence in the car--until Izi-chan finished. She pat Tohru's head and said "There you go."

Tohru turned to look in the mirror, and was idyllically surprised to see her reflection. Her eyes were darkened with dramatic shadow and liner in a way that made her blue eyes pop. Her cheeks were dotted with the tiniest of blush, giving an apple-cheeked look to her porcelain skin. Her lips were smeared with a pink gloss that made them look pouty and pillowy. Izi-chan had been right: the strong, dark colors on her eyes contrasted nicely with the cheery yellow of the dress. Although Tohru had been nervous about the combination of a push-up bra and low cut dress, the way Izi-chan had styled it, she looked neither trampy or whorish. All in all, she looked like someone who wasn't her.

And she liked it.

* * *

The men of the household were herded into the living room for a "fashion show." Izi-chan walked into the room, cleared her throat dramatically, and uttered, "I present to you. . ." she fluttered her hands at the doorway, Tohru's cue to come out, "Miss Tohru Honda!"

The girl who stepped out did not look like Tohru. This girl was wearing a yellow halter-necked baby doll dress, cut low so that a generous portion of her breasts peaked out. Her face was decorated with striking makeup, and she was perched on two-inch high heels that matched her dress.

_She couldn't possibly be Tohru._

At least, that's what was running through Kyo's head as Yuki and Shigure ran up to her and started chucking compliments her way. How beautiful she looked, how gracefully she walked in the heels, what lovely makeup, etcetera. Kyo stood back.

Finally, though, he erupted. "Where the hell do you get off," he growled, "grooming her like your little plaything, Izi-chan?"

She snapped her head angrily over to him. "Where the hell do _you_ get off, talking to me that way? And you know, it's one thing to insult _me_, but that's low that you're dragging Tohru into it. What, do you think she looks like a whore?" She glowered for all she was worth. "Then _say it_."

The room rang in a silence even worse than the one in the car; this was harsh and awful, making everyone feel harsh and awful by association. Kyo and Izi-chan continued their glaring for at least a solid minute. At last, the unbearable stillness was shattered by Tohru running out the room, sobbing.

"Tohru. . .!" Three voices called out. Izi-chan gave them an _I'll deal with this_ look, and with one last glare at Kyo, she rushed after the younger girl. Shigure awkwardly crept off to his study, leaving the two teenage boys alone.

"You really are an idiot." Yuki shot daggers at the Cat with his eyes before exiting himself.

Kyo stood alone and guilty.

* * *

"Tohru, sweetie, _please_ open the door." Izi-chan stood at the bathroom door, murmuring gently to the girl inside. "Come on, sweetie. Let me help you. Please, _cherie_."

The lock turned. The door opened slowly, revealing Tohru's mascara-streaked face. "Oh, Tohru," Izi-chan whispered. "_Viens ici mon pauvre ami doux." _(a/n: she's saying _Come here my poor sweet friend,_ in french.) She walked into the bathroom and kicked the door shut before enveloping the girl in a tight warm bear hug.

In response, Tohru started crying again. "Izi-chan," she sobbed, "why would he say that? Does he really think I look awful?"

Izi-chan rocked the younger girl back and forth as if she were a child who'd fallen off their bike. "Shh, sweetie, he never said anything about you. He was insulting me, not you."

She sniffled. "No, I know he was. Because you asked him if he thought I looked like a-a. . .a you-know-what, and he didn't deny it." Fresh tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to escape. "He thinks I look like a whore!"

Izi-chan continued to rub her back comfortingly. She spoke softly, "Tohru, no, he would never think that of you. He was just being stupid."

"No," Tohru sobbed. "Kyo-kun isn't stupid!"

Izi-chan let her cry on her shoulder until the tears stopped. Once Tohru's eyes were completely moistureless, Izi-chan pulled away from the hug and held Tohru at arm's length--in almost the exact way as she'd done that afternoon, before they were even formally introduced. Tohru thought that event seemed like a million years ago. She smiled faintly.

Izi-chan inspected Tohru once again. "Sweetie, we need to get you cleaned up." Tohru giggled.

She flounced to the door saying something about getting the makeup remover she had in her bag. Tohru was alone again. She walked over to the (covered) toilet and sat down, trying to think rationally about the situation. _Okay,_ she thought, _this isn't a big deal. Of _course _he didn't mean it. Kyo-kun wouldn't say something like that to anyone. Yeah. I can absolutely keep it together when I see him again. Yeah._

She'd just finished her self-pep talk when the door creaked open again. She looked up expecting to see Izi-chan holding the makeup remover. Her face fell when she saw it wasn't her.

It was Kyo.

* * *

**ha ha ha, evil cliffie.** **i bet you're wondering what happens next: does she freak out? does he apologize? what?? or maybe you're thinking the whole thing is a steaming piece of cat shit. either way, i appreciate all reviews (constructive criticism is welcome).**

**thank you again to all reviewers/favorite-story-ers/story-alert-ers!!**

**Jax**


	6. Beautiful

**updating as quickly as possible, as per the request of one scary-yet-lovely** **reviewer (here's lookin' at you, SecertSnow). also, special thanks to fruitsbasketfreak08, who has reviewed almost every chapter. enjoy chapter six!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.**

* * *

Chapter 6 - Beautiful

He held a hand up--the one that wasn't holding the makeup remover--before she could say anything. "Don't freak out. I just wanted to--" He ran his free hand through his orange locks awkwardly. "I just. . ." He sighed and set the makeup remover on the bathroom counter. "I'll just go. You probably hate me anyway."

Just as he turned to leave, Tohru jumped up and took his hand in hers. "No," she stated calmly, much calmer than someone in her position should have. "What were you going to say?"

He stopped, turned around, and looked at her. Not at her breasts, which by now were threatening to spill out of her dress at any moment--you'd think Izi-chan would've told her to fix that--from all the hugging and crying. Not at her legs, those of which were exposed greatly by the now-infamous baby doll dress. He looked at her face, her mascara-streaked, tear-stained face, and knew exactly the words he'd been looking for.

"I'm sorry," he said, voice almost at a whisper. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean you looked like wh--um, you know. I meant the opposite." He stared deep into her eyes. "You look beautiful in anything, which is why I got mad to see you wearing so much makeup. You shouldn't feel like you have to wear it to look pretty, or because it would make someone like you more. If they don't like you already," he brought a hand up to wipe away the single tear falling down her cheek, "they don't deserve you."

Tohru's eyes spilled with more tears--these ones were from joy. "Y-you think I'm beautiful?"

He moved his hands to cup her face, brushing away the remainder of her tears with his thumbs. "I think you're impossibly beautiful, even when you've been crying and there's mascara or eye liner or whatever this is all over your face." He grinned in that way only he could.

She let her own grin shine through. "Thank you," she said, mostly to herself.

"You're welcome," he said, mostly to her. He took his hands from her face, and once again Tohru missed them almost immediately. He picked up the bottle of makeup remover--a completely alien thing to him--and held it out to Tohru. "Now," he said. "You want some help getting that gunk off you're face?"

* * *

Yuki entered the living room cautiously, to see _not_ a miserable Tohru and moody Kyo, but Izi-chan and Shigure conversing in hushed tones, like they were in on some big secret the others couldn't know about. Once Shigure spotted Yuki, though, they quickly started talking loudly about nothing.

"So, Izi-chan," Yuki said with the iciness he usually reserved for Kyo. "I guess your little scheme didn't go quite as planned, did it?"

She looked neither upset nor distressed by his comment. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, Kiki-chan."

"Oh, I didn't think you would." He sat down across from her so that their eyes were at level with each other. "I'm talking about you're plan to dress Honda-san up so that Kyo would get sentimental with her and they'd live happily ever after or something. It obviously didn't work, and what's worse is Honda-san _and_ yourself ended up being insulted by the baka neko."

But Izi-chan just smirked and shook her head. "You wound me, Yuki," she said. "Believe or not, this _is_ my plan. Kyo insulting Tohru is only the first step. I sent him into the bathroom with makeup remover so that he'd have a chance to apologize. By now, they might be making out or something." She looked at him mischievously. "Wanna go check?"

He stormed out to the bathroom, Izi-chan cackling behind him. He thrust open the door to the sight of. . .Kyo helping Tohru wash the last of her ruined makeup off her face. Wow. What a disappointment.

Still, Izi-chan covered her eyes and shrieked, "_Ohmygod!_ I hope you two aren't making out!" Kyo immediately jumped back from Tohru, who giggled nervously, shouting things like "Go to hell, Izi-chan!" and "Of course not! God, get your minds out of the gutter!"

Tohru took no offense this time, however. She had seen the softest side of Kyo Sohma. The side that brushed her tears away and told her she was impossibly beautiful. The side that only she was allowed to see. The side that would hide most of the time, because he was _shy_. Tohru knew that part of Kyo Sohma, as well as the part that loved fighting and cooking equally, the part that was hurt to be left out of the Zodiac, and every other part about Kyo Sohma he'd shown her no innuendo meant).

And she was desperately afraid that would change.

* * *

Once they were past all the drama, Izi-chan once again ushered everyone into the place of her liking--in this case, the dining room. Her mystery dinner was finally ready.

"Okay." She held a large silver platter with a silver dome covering the cuisine. "I hope you guys love it. But if you don't I'm not making you something else." Finally, with flourish, she whipped the silver dome off their dinner.

It was a single, immense ice cream sundae. In their very largest salad bowl.

"Ta da!!" she screamed. "What better end to a day of shopping than ice cream? I'll bring out the spoons and toppings in a sec." A second later, she plopped down with a handful of spoons and said, _"Bon apetit, mes chéris."_

They did. For the first time that day, not one person in the group had a negative thing to say.

Well, not one they'd say for a million dollars, that is. Kyo was currently extremely aggravated with Izi-chan, not only for interrupting his time with Tohru (he also blamed Yuki for that), but for serving the ice cream in the first place: The way Tohru licked the food off her spoon. . .God, he could swear she was taunting him. Every time he looked at her, he could feel his face burning up for about the thousandth time that day. He concentrated exclusively on his own Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey with caramel sauce to avoid any questions as to why he looked like he was trying to blend in with the strawberry ice cream.

Tohru was facing a similar problem. With Kyo acting so weird (why was he staring at his food?), she assumed it was because of their heart-to-heart in the bathroom. In response, she attempted to fill the air with the Mindless Girl Babble she'd contracted from Izi-chan while simultaneously licking chocolate truffle ice cream with Oreo bits seductively off her spoon (not that she was trying to lick anything seductively, of course).

Yuki was watching them both suspiciously. With only the occasion spoonful of his mango sorbet going into his mouth, he wanted to make sure he wasn't hallucinating when he saw Kyo and Tohru peek at one another when the other wasn't looking (very, very subtly of course).

Shigure, mindful of nothing, pigged out on each and every flavor and topping offered in the gigantum salad bowl in front of him, from the apple almond to white chocolate ice cream (as there was none that started with a 'Z').

And Izi-chan, as usual, watched over them all, aware of everything and anything. Years of schools filled with bitchy, gossiping, backstabbing girls had taught her to keep her eyes and ears open for dirt on whomever she needed dirt on to survive. This gave her unbelievable hyperobservant skills, which she could finally use for good instead of evil. She noted it all in her mind, from Kyo staring at Tohru's mouth and his ice cream, to Tohru chattering nervously, to Yuki trying to keep all eyes and ears open, also (what an amateur), to Shigure being. . .Shigure, business as usual. She kept a perpetual smirk solidly on her face as she delicately stuffed her face with chocolate-marshmallow ice cream with white chocolate chips on top.

By the time the gigantum salad bowl was devoid of any and all food, the Sohmas and Honda were rubbing their collective bloated belly with satisfaction. "But wait!" Izi-chan twittered. "There's still one more surprise!"

_Oh, dear Lord,_ they thought. _I cannot possibly handle any more surprises today._

She pulled out the last plastic supermarket bag and spilled it's contents onto the now-ice cream-free table. Pictures of serial killers, zombies, vampires, and LOTS and LOTS of blood stared up at the people around the table. Tohru struggled to keep her shriek down in her throat, but a gasped wormed it's way out of her.

"Scary movies!" Izi-chan yelled. Yuki briefly wondered how she could contain so much energy. Then he realized Tohru looked a little pale.

"Honda-san," he said gently. "If you don't want to watch, we don't have to."

Izi-chan made circle of her mouth. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry. Do you not like scary movies? Do they give you nightmares? I'm sorry; I didn't know."

"No, no! It's fine," Tohru insisted. She bowed her head. "I can watch them! Really, I can!" She got three _yeah right_ looks thrown at her.

"Tohru-chan," Izi-chan said, "I don't want to force you to do something that makes you uncomfortable." She started putting the DVDs back in the bag.

Tohru, feeling ever-so-guilty that their lovely evening was now crashing to Earth, started to protest again when her chin was suddenly being cupped in a large, warm hand. One that's touch she'd missed since the last time she'd experienced it.

Kyo's ruby eyes stared into her sapphire ones. She quickly came down from her certain rant as his touch soothed her like always. "Tohru," he murmured. "Are the movies going to scare you?"

She nodded slowly. "In all likelihood," she murmured back. "But, Kyo-kun, I'm not worried. _You'll_ be there to protect me."

"Um, as fun as it is to watch Kyo feelin' on Tohru-kun, are we going to watch the movies or not?" Shigure whined.

Kyo didn't even blush this time (Tohru did, though). He calmly let go of Tohru's chin, and looked at her again as if to say _What do you want to do?_ She smiled in return. Still looking at her, he said, "Yeah. We are."

Izi-chan guided everyone to the room where the TV was (living room?) and gleefully popped _The Shining_ into the DVD player.

Kyo grinned through it, as well as _Arachnophobia_, _The Blob_, _Ghost Story, Jeeper's Creepers, The Silence of the Lambs_, (the original) _Halloween, Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead_ (for some comic relief), and other horror classics. He grinned through every bloody scene and maniacal evil-doer. He even grinned through the boring, non-scary parts. Why? Because Tohru would bury her head in the crook of his neck each and every time she got scared. Which, as you can imagine, was often. She even fell asleep on his shoulder by the middle of _Dawn of the Dead_.

That seemed like a pretty good ending to him.

* * *

**but by no means is that the ending. oooooh no, i'm afraid izi-chan has much in store for kyo and tohru with that plan of hers. hee hee hee. review please!!**

**Jax**


	7. Worse Than a Hangover

**in a writing mood. THANK YOU TO REVIEWERS. here's chapter 7.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket**

* * *

Chapter 7 - Worse Than a Hangover (Or Maybe Not)

Tohru felt warm and safe. She was secured in Kyo's arms as they gracefully twirled around in a slow waltz. (She didn't think to question why they were dancing; it seemed natural.) He smiled down at her, and she swished her red silk-clad body in time with his. She smiled back. They spun gently for what seemed like forever. Suddenly, he dipped her and was lowering his head closer and closer to hers when his handsome lips parted and out came the words she'd been waiting to hear. . .

"Tohru, it's time to get up!" Wait, what? He dropped her and she hit the ballroom floor with a 'BAM.' But when she opened her eyes, there was not a handsome, tuxedo-wearing, orange-headed man looking at her fallen form, but Izi-chan, who was gorgeous and kind and all but really not Tohru's type.

It had all been a dream.

Izi-chan smiled at the groggy girl. "Sorry," she said. "Did I interrupt a good dream?"

Tohru sat up and rubbed her eyes of sleep. "I. . .don't really remember."

"That's a yes," Izi-chan laughed. "Wanna tell me about it?"

Tohru stopped her eye-rubbing immediately and look a bit sick to her stomach. "That's a no," Izi-chan laughed harder. "Anyway, I woke you up because Shigure's whining about being hungry and no one can find the number for the take-out place, and there's no more ice cream so I can't make us anything, and. . .yeah." Tohru was up and rushing to her closet before Izi-chan could get to 'no one.' She squawked about how could she let the boys starve after all they've done for her. Izi-chan politely averted her eyes when Tohru started shedding clothing, though kept a running conversation with the younger girl.

"So, I hope you don't mind I borrowed a pair of jeans from you, since mine are a little worn out from yesterday. Ditto the earrings. I'll take them off if you want."

"Oh, no, it's fine," Tohru said, pulling on one of her new skirts. "Hey, if you only borrowed my jeans, whose shirt are you wearing?"

"Shigure's." She was: She'd taken Shigure's oversized white button-down shirt and tied the ends of it at her small waist, leaving most of the buttons undone. Coupled with the black skinny jeans she'd bought Tohru and the slouchy black newsboy cap she had perched on her head, Izi-chan looked the very epitome of hip, moody adolescent. And she was twenty-five! Tohru vaguely pondered where Izi-chan had gotten the hat. . .

Somewhere between casually eying her friends attire and casually questioning her friends attire, something clicked in Tohru's mind. Instantly she came crashing down from the dream-induced nirvana she wasn't aware she'd been in. She cast her eyes downward and said something incoherent.

Izi-chan strained to hear her. "What was that, dear? You were mumbling."

Tohru cleared her throat, then cringed because it was still drier-than-dry from sleep. Izi-chan handed her her bedside water glass. After sipping the liquid, Tohru repeated, "I asked how I got in my bed and pajamas when I fell asleep on, um. . ."

"On Kyo's lap?" Tohru looked horror-stricken. "I'm kidding, sweetie. Kyo carried you up here."

Tohru looked even more horror-stricken. "And he changed me into my pajamas?!"

Izi-chan quickly said, "No, no! God, no. Kyo wouldn't do that. I got you into your PJs; I figured it wouldn't be that comfy sleeping in your clothes. Hope you don't mind." She flicked her auburn hair over her shoulder.

"Oh. Um, thank you." Tohru said quietly. Her head was still reeling from the knowledge that _Kyo_ had carried her up here (she must've been so heavy!) after falling asleep with her head on _Kyo's_ shoulder (what if she'd drooled on him or something?!), which was _after_ she'd practically mauled him through all the movies (she probably gave him bruises!). She felt a full-body blush spreading over her just thinking about it.

"Hey, Tohru-chan? You stopped getting dressed," Izi-chan noted. "Are you okay?"

Tohru jumped as she noticed that, yes indeed, she'd stopped her actions wearing only her skirt, underwear, and bra. The full-body blush--which suddenly darkened--was easily visible. She swiftly jammed the made-to-look-faded T-shirt she was holding in her hands over her head, fumbling only slightly. Once the form-fitting tee was rightfully in place, she turned to the door in a misguided attempt to exit. Bad move. Izi-chan grabbed her shoulders and inspected the outfit, shrieking when she reached Tohru's head. "What about bedhead?!" she screeched. Oh.

A good ten minutes later, Tohru left her room with the approval of Izi-chan, the fashion-Nazi. She made a beeline for the stairs, already planning today's breakfast in her pretty little head. She was so enthralled with her thoughts she didn't notice the single shoe (?) sitting elegantly in the middle of the stairwell. Naturally, she slipped and nearly fell flat on her face. . .

. . .if not for the strong, familiar arms that miraculously caught her. She knew these arms were the same ones she'd clung to the night before, and that they were attached to the neck she'd buried her face in. The neck was attached to the extremely handsome head, which held the gorgeous, pensive ruby eyes that she felt could stare right into her soul. She was determined not to meet those eyes.

"Watch your step," Kyo said. He was holding her in his arms, not close enough to transform and totally ruin the moment but enough so that Tohru felt a bit of déjà vu. She broke her self-promise and peeked at his eyes, only to see them staring at her once again. She hurriedly looked away, embarrassed, and ripped herself from his arms (something in her screamed out in protest).

"S-sorry, Kyo-kun," she stuttered. "I, uh, I will." She moved to go to the kitchen, then stopped short when her uber-polite tendencies kicked in. "Um, thank you, Kyo-kun. For, um, carrying me to my bed last night. And also for letting me monopolize your arm during the movies."

Kyo turned a red that rivaled hers. "Oh, yeah," he mumbled awkwardly. "Yeah, it was nothing. I didn't want you to, like, have to sleep downstairs or whatever." His mouth twitched before he added, "And, I don't mind you monopolizing my arm." Then he quickly dashed up the stairs before either of them could turn any redder.

* * *

Once breakfast was served, the Household Order was restored and Shigure stopped whining. Izi-chan gobbled everything that was put in front of her--she'd never tasted anything so good, and she just got back from _France,_ for Gods' sake.

_"Putain de merde, c'est tellement délicieux,"_ she mumbled, completely stuffed. "I'm in heaven!"

Tohru flushed humbly. "No, no," she ranted. "My cooking couldn't possibly be that good! I mean, you've tasted authentic French cuisine, Izi-chan. This must be completely sub-par to someone like you."

"Best thing I ever tasted." She licked her fingers, savoring every crumb. "Have you considered culinary school after you finish high school?"

"Oh, no," she stuttered. "There's probably so many people so much more deserving of culinary school, I-I couldn't. Plus, my grades aren't nearly good enough."

Izi-chan turned to the guys. "Is she always so modest?" They nodded. "I thought you were exaggerating."

Shigure beamed. "Nope! Everything Aaya and I said was 100 true. Well, maybe 95, but still."

Yuki raised his eye brows and said, "Wait, you and Nii-san were telling Izi-chan about Honda-san? For how long?"

"Um, about as long as she'd been here."

Kyo joined in. "Why?"

"Well, why not?" Izi-chan griped. "My God, you of all people should understand why I wanted info on this chick."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Why 'me of all people?'"

Pursing her lips as if to keep from laughing, Izi-chan uttered, "Why, no reason at all, Koko-chan." Suddenly her eyes lit up and she turned to Tohru. "Ohmygod, I just got _the_ most brilliant idea EVER."

"What is it?" Tohru asked excitedly. After all, it was _the_ most brilliant idea EVER.

"Okay, so you know how I said I'd pretty much seen everyone since I got back?" Tohru nodded. "Well, how would you feel helping me host a welcome back party for me?"

"Isn't a little egotistical to be planning your own welcome back party?" Yuki said.

Izi-chan ignored him and continued. "And we could invite everyone, and your friends, too, and we could have it here! Oh, if you guys don't mind." They turned to Shigure, who nodded that it was fine. "Yay! Oh, and what if we make it a _costume_ welcome back party?"

Kyo groaned. "_Hell,_ no," he said. "I am not dressing up for another one of your stupid parties."

Izi-chan cried, "Oh come on. I have a really awesome theme already picked out." She grinned and waited for them to ask what the theme was. She was big on themes.

Tohru took the bait perfectly; God, she was so innocent. "What's the theme?"

"Well," Izi-chan said. She wanted to make them wait a _little_ longer. About a second later she blurted, "It's called 'Come as You Aren't. You dress up as the complete opposite of your personality."

Tohru, of course was immediately hooked on the idea. Shigure looked equally excited as she was. Yuki seemed a bit wary (Izi-chan would talk him into it). Kyo mirrored exactly what he was thinking: No way, no how, not now, not _ever_ will he be going to another one of Izi-chan infamous costume parties.

"So, what should Tohru-kun be?" Shigure smirked at Izi-chan.

"I was thinking maybe a dominatrix," she replied, also smirking. "Or pretty much anything skimpy and leather. Don't you think that adequately covers Tohru's opposite personality?"

_Well,_ Kyo thought, maybe _I'll go. But I won't like it._

* * *

**what a mental picture: tohru the dominatrix. wow. i think i broke my brain.** **anyway review please!! cuz i LUV my reviewers.**

**Jax**


	8. Something Else to Ponder

**okay, thanx so much to rainstorm007 and loritakitochan for the constructive criticism; i'll be sure to keep it in mind. anyway, here's chapter eight!!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

* * *

Chapter 8 - Something Else to Ponder

Izi-chan hung around Shigure's house for a few more hours before going back to the main house, where she lived. "I still have a bunch of shit to do about the move," she said, scribbling her home and cell phone numbers and exact address onto a piece of paper for Tohru. "But I'll definitely be seeing you guys, kay?" Yuki and Kyo finally breathed sighs of relief.

She kept her promise. Three days after that Sunday, Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Hanajima and Uotani were walking out of school, only to be met with a mob scene. A number of kids from their school were crowding around someone, who was standing in front of some_thing_, and that someone was rattling on about something they couldn't quite hear. Upon closer inspection (after Uotani elbowed a trail to the front of the crowd), they concluded that that person was none other than Izi-chan Sohma, and she was showing off baby pictures of Yuki and Kyo.

"Aren't they just _too_ precious?" she cooed to the high schoolers, pretending not to notice the same _too_ precious boys standing a few feet away from her.

Her audience nodded vigorously; the majority of them belonged to a Sohma fan club. They had found their new idol in Izi-chan.

Finally acknowledging the boys standing there, Izi-chan turned and looked shocked. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Come here, you two. Do you remember that one time when you were in middle school and Kyo--"

"No, I don't remember!" Kyo shouted. Wherever this was headed would most definitely end in his humiliation.

"But you didn't even let me finish. Anyway, Yuki decided--"

"Izi-chan why are you here?" Yuki interrupted. The story would definitely end in _his_ humiliation, too. The Prince Yuki girls suddenly stood on edge at Yuki referring to Izi-chan so affectionately (what they didn't know was that Yuki only used 'chan' because Izi-chan would beat him up if he didn't).

Seeing their wrath, Izi-chan decided to do what she did best: stir up more controversy. She slung both arms around Yuki in a loose hug, making sure not to initiate the curse, and pressed her cheek up against his. "Yuki, _chéri_, I came her because I never get to _see_ you anymore. Don't you miss me?"

The Prince Yuki girls practically burst into flames. Murderous, bloodthirsty flames. Izi-chan looked right at them and smirked. "But seriously," she said, "I came to pick you guys up." She turned to the remaining crowd and smiled enchantingly. "Bye, you guys. It's was fantastic meeting you all." They shuffled away, obviously charmed by such a interesting, beautiful older person.

As soon as they left, though, Izi-chan pretended to gag and stage whispered, "Those stalker girls are _sooooo_ completely barf-worthy. Were they all dropped on their heads as babies?"

Uotani burst out laughing. "Oh," she said, "I like her." She steadied herself and extended her hand to the older girl. "Arisa Uotani."

Izi-chan excepted the hand. "Izuki Sohma. Arisa is such a pretty name!" She turned to Hanajima. "And you are?"

Hanajima smiled eerily. "Saki Hanajima. Pleasure to meet you," she murmured in her usual unearthly voice. Izi-chan did not looked fazed. She beamed like always.

"Well," she said. "If we're all done with introductions, you guys ready to leave?"

Yuki frowned. "How will we all fit in your tiny car? Unless we want a repeat of Saturday. . ." He trailed off and looked pointedly at Izi-chan, who smirked.

"Wait," Uotani said. "What happened Saturday?"

"WELL, Kyo and Tohru--"

"Nothing happened!" Kyo hissed. He was blushing. "Tohru met Izi-chan for the first time and we all went shopping and there wasn't enough room in the car so we had to improvise. Okay?!"

Hanajima calmly peered at him. "That sounds like something happened."

"Yeah," Izi-chan piped in. "_Something_ happened."

If only they--Kyo and Tohru included--could figure out what, exactly.

"Anyway," Izi-chan continued. "You and Kyo can walk. We'll have Grown-Up Girl Bonding Time. Now shoo."

Grumbling about evil harpies, Kyo strutted away in the direction of home. Yuki rolled his eyes at the neko, said goodbye to the girls, and turned in the same direction.

They climbed into the car--Tohru in the passenger seat and Uotani and Hanjima in the back--and sped into the traffic.

"Hey, Tohru," Izi-chan chirped. "Did you tell your friends about my party yet?"

The three nodded. "They're really excited about it!" Tohru chirped right back.

Uotani's eyes gleamed with mischief. "Yeah, I can't wait to see what the Prince and Kyon will dress up as. That has _got_ to be hilarious!"

"I, too, am excited," Hanajima declared. She did well of hiding her excitement. "It will be amusing to see the reactions of everyone when they glimpse my costume."

"I wish I could figure out what to wear for _my_ costume," Tohru sighed.

Izi-chan turned to look at her for a second. "Tohru, doll," she said. "You don't have to worry. I already have something perfect for you." She smirked. "I can't wait to see how Kyo will react. . ."

Uotani tensed. "What's that supposed to mean? Is he gonna go all hentai on her?"

"With any luck he will!" Izi-chan laughed.

"If Kyo Sohma does something inappropriate to Tohru-kun," Hanajima said, "I will have to do something I might regret later." Her eyes seemed to glow.

Once again, Izi-chan was not fazed. The world-weary adult simply fluttered her eye lashes and cackled, "I wouldn't _dream_ of setting something like that up, dearies."

Technically, it wasn't a lie.

* * *

Kyo frowned. Lately he'd been finding himself smiling for no reason at all, which led him to frowning in confusion. God, he could never understand his feelings. Feelings were for people like Izi-chan, who could actually decipher their's. He couldn't. He frowned again when Izi-chan's loud, annoying voice popped into his head.

_". . .you of all people should understand why I wanted info on this chick. . ."_

It still confused him. Why would she say 'you of all people?' What was that supposed to mean? As he pondered this he lied down on his bed and stared into the abyss. _Sigh._ Things sure got boring when Tohru wasn't around.

Something else to ponder. . .

* * *

**eh. don't know if it's a very strong** **chapter. review please, CUZ I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE reviews. please and thank yous.**

Jax


	9. Truth or Dare

**okay, don't know if that last chapter sucked or not. it hasn't been the very bestest day for me. hope this one is better.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

* * *

Chapter 9 - Truth or Dare

Interrupting Kyo's pondering, Izi-chan's familiar blaring voice cut into his room as she kicked open his door and yelled, "We're home Kyon!!" Oh joy. She'd adopted Uotani's nickname for him.

"God, don't you knock?!" he hissed.

Izi-chan sniffed. "'Fraid not, Kyon. We're eating soon, so get your ass down here and help Tohru, will you?" Before he could say anything, she scampered down the stairs like the drama queen she was.

"Damn bitch," Kyo grumbled, getting up off his bed. She was always doing annoying things like that. If it wasn't coming into his room without knocking or teasing him about Tohru, it was something equally stupid like telling everyone she'd caught him reading one of her steamy romance novels (which he hadn't, seriously). _Hmmm,_ he thought. _She's really the definition of an older sister, huh?_

As soon as he stepped off the stairs, Kyo was bombarded with the smell of kimchee fried rice, leeks (bleh) and. . .salmon? The Cat's sense of smell was nowhere near as developed as the Dog's, but it was still very good. Mentally 'bleh'-ing at the smell of leeks for a second time, he headed into the kitchen to help Tohru with whatever it was she need helping with. Making onigiri, killing a spider, opening a jar, whatever. Kyo had an inkling feeling that if she asked him to eat glass out of her hand, he'd do it. Although, if anyone at all in the universe--deceased included--heard him say that, he would surely have to murder them. Deceased included (he'd find a way).

He wandered into the kitchen. Tohru stood at the stove, stirring a pot of something (the leeks?) with a serene smile playing at her lips. Kyo found he couldn't move his feet, or open his mouth to speak; he could only stand and stare. Coupled with the steam from the hissing pot, Tohru's face was flushed adorably. Images from the Saturday Shopping Adventure flashed in Kyo's mind: Tohru sitting next to him in Izi-chan's car; Tohru rooting for him during the arm wrestling match; Tohru grabbing his hands when he won the arm wrestling match; Tohru, bright red, on his lap during the ride home.

_Tohru. . ._

"Kyo-kun!" He was snapped out of his inner montage when _she_ called his name. Oh. She'd finally noticed him standing there. "Did you come to help me, Kyo-kun?"

Aiming for something coherent, Kyo mumbled, "Uh, yeah. Izi-chan said to come down here."

Tohru grinned her usual hundred-watt smile. "Thank you, Kyo-kun. But you don't have to help me with anything. Go enjoy yourself with the others!"

He gave her an _Are you kidding?_ look. "Oh," she backtracked. "Right. Um. Could you maybe cut up the rest of the leeks for the stew? Or, wait, you don't like leeks, sorry. Um. . .!"

But Kyo was already making his way to the kitchen counter. He was smiling.

* * *

"Dinner is served!" Tohru exclaimed a few minutes later. She and Kyo carried various dishes to the crowded table. As soon as she sat down, everyone immediately started devouring what was in front on them. The food was gone within five minutes.

Kyo felt oddly happy: Tohru had made the salmon specifically for him, since he hated leeks. She was always going out of her way to help people, especially him.

His happiness lasted all of about ten seconds, because Izi-chan suddenly uttered seven terrifying words (not the same terrifying words from the Saturday Shopping Adventure): "I know! Let's play Truth or Dare!"

Uotani and Tohru agreed quickly. Hanajima simply nodded. Yuki's polite smile looked a bit strained. Shigure was. . .Shigure. Kyo, of course, did _not_ feel like making an ass of himself (which was bound to happen with either Truth or Dare). He was about to move to leave when Izi-chan shrieked, "Okay Tohru! Truth or dare?" And then, well, he _had_ to stay.

Tohru thought. "Um, truth. No, dare! No, truth! Truth. I pick truth." (a/n: that's totally how i choose :D)

Izi-chan smirked. "Okay. Have you. . ." She paused for dramatic effect. ". . .been kissed by someone who wasn't a family member?!"

Tohru blushed cutely. "No."

"Well, it's Truth or Dare, so we can change that," Shigure said, smirking along with Izi-chan. He turned sharply to Kyo. "Kyonkichi! Truth or dare?!"

"Huh? Why'd you ask me? It's not even your turn to ask! It's Tohru's!"

Izi-chan nudged Uotani, who sat next to her. "You know," she said in a mock-whisper (meaning everyone could hear her perfectly), "people that refuse to play games like Truth or Dare are usually hiding something."

Uotani said, in the same mock-whisper, "Oh, yeah. They don't want anyone to know they have a huge crush on someone in the circle, or something." They looked at Kyo just long enough to irritate him, then looked at each other and nodded knowingly.

Kyo blushed furiously. "Fine!" he bellowed. "I pick dare! Happy now?!"

"Very." Shigure looked sadistically amused. "I dare you to go topless for the rest of the night."

He glared, but reached for the bottom of his T-shirt. He pulled it off his head to reveal his tan, sculpted abs and chest. Tohru blushed from head-to-toe (thank God she'd changed into jeans). Izi-chan and Uotani whistled and clapped exaggeratedly, and Hanajima raised a single eye brow. Yuki just rolled his eyes and muttered something like, "baka."

With the fabric adequately stripped from his body, Kyo--who was still glaring--said, "Is it my turn to ask yet?" Nods. "Okay. Hanajima, truth or dare?"

Without hesitation, she replied, "Dare."

"Um," Kyo said. What to ask? "I dare you to. . .eat three hot peppers." Maybe then he'd see an emotion on her face.

Hanajima got up, went to the kitchen, and returned with three hot peppers (how convenient that Tohru had a fresh stock of them). One at a time, she placed them on her tongue and closed her mouth. After a full thirty seconds of no signs of agony on her face, Hanajima opened her mouth and showed everyone the proof that she'd swallowed the peppers.

Izi-chan laughed. "This chick is hardcore! Anyway, Saki, it's your turn to ask."

She nodded and turned to Yuki. "Sohma-kun. Truth or dare?"

"Um, truth." He knew with dare he'd be forced to go nude or something, like Kyo. Not going to happen.

"Very well. Did you enjoy wearing the dress at the cultural festival last year?"

Smirks. Yuki blushed. "Well, um. A little." Loud laughter. "But only a little!!" He huffed. "Whatever. Uotani, truth or dare?"

"Dare, of course."

"I dare you to sing _Barbie Girl_."

And hour later, after Uotani had shouted how she was "a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie Wooooo-ooo-ooorld," Izi-chan and Tohru did the robot together, and Hanajima proudly wore a bra on her head, the game got a bit sticky. "Kyon," Izi-chan puffed (she was still tired out from freak dancing with a potted plant). "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Of course.

Without even bothering to smirk, she said, "I dare you to," (puff, puff)," kiss Tohru. On the the lips."

Freeze. Kyo seriously could not move. Neither could Tohru. "W-wait!" he exclaimed. "Don't you need Tohru's consent or whatever? I-I can't just--"

"You can." _Now_ Izi-chan smirked. "And you will. T or d, bee-yotch."

Stubborn as usual, Kyo said, "Well, then, I choose truth."

"Too late. Pucker up, _lâche_." He didn't bother asking what _'lâche'_ meant. Probably something insulting, anyway.

Kyo looked at Tohru as if to say, _Is this okay?_ She nodded nervously. Since he was already sitting next to her, their faces were only about six inches apart. Slowly, shyly, he leaned into her, all the while wondering what he was supposed to do with his hands. _Should I put them on her shoulders or something?_ he thought. _Or, like, cup her face? How the hell am I supposed to do this?! _He decided to gently place his hand on her soft cheek. They were both red faced and determined not to meet the other's eyes. If they did, a minor meltdown might've occurred. Finally, after what seemed like hours, their lips met, and everything around them seemed to disappear. The game was forgotten; the group was forgotten. All that mattered at that moment was keeping the other's lips on their own. Their eyes were closed comfortably when Tohru opened her mouth slightly to let Kyo's tongue in. He happily obliged, and for a few more blissful seconds they continued their ministrations until Uotani groused, "Okay, you guys, you can quit sucking face now."

Tohru immediately pulled back. Her face was even redder than it was before the kiss. Kyo noticed her lips were bruised from their actions; he wondered if his were bruised also. He almost didn't remember to be embarrassed, alongside Tohru. He scooted as far away from her as possible and practically shouted, "Truth or dare, Shigure?!"

Izi-chan smiled sadly and shook her head. As much as they might try to pretend, things wouldn't--couldn't--be the same after tonight. _Oh well,_ she thought. _That just means there's no turning back._

Her party would be the final nail in the coffin that assured this situation would only move forward from friendship.

No looking back.

* * *

**tohru and kyo are no longer kiss-virgins!!** **how's that for fluff? the party will be in the next chapter. stay tuned and review please!!**

Jax


	10. The Party, or General Debauchery

**i'm glad people liked the last chapter!! finally it's time for The Party. hijinks will ensue, of course. here's chapter 10!!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, or any song that might be mentioned below

* * *

Chapter 10 - The Party, or General Debauchery

The two days following The Kiss (of course it should be capitalized) were filled with blushing and uber-polite language between Kyo and Tohru. They were both confused as to why it was so enjoyable. Everyone else, however, knew exactly why they were practically going at it right on the table, but figured the pair needed to figure it out for themselves.

Friday was Izi-chan's Come As You Aren't party. Before Tohru, Kyo, and Yuki even left for school that day, Izi-chan was at the house chattering about food and decorations with Shigure; they'd be preparing everything while the kiddies were gone. Said kiddies were hurriedly ushered out of the house as soon as breakfast was over, left to wonder what exactly would be waiting for them when they returned.

* * *

"What in the hell. . .?" Kyo stared wide-eyed at the living room. There was black draped over everything; sensual candles in the corners were the only source of light; huge bowls of refreshments and munchies were scattered randomly; a huge stereo and speakers sat on the floor, and they were hooked up to Izi-chan's pink iPod. They had entered a House of Vice.

"Isn't it great?" Izi-chan clunked down the stairs. Her attire was almost as startling as the room: A medium-length brown and red plaid skirt twirled around her long pale legs. A white button-down shirt--woman's this time--was tucked into it, with a tailored, tweedy brown blazer over that and a brown and red plaid tie sitting around her neck. She finished the look with starch white knee-high socks, polished brown loafers, and two red barrettes holding back her hair.

The opposite of her personality: Innocent, modest, and pure.

"Nice costume," Yuki remarked.

"Isn't it, though?" Izi-chan replied. "At first I was going to wear Tohru's uniform, but since she'd so much smaller than me it would have ended up looking slutty anyway. So I had Aaya make me this!" She spun in a circle, allowing them a full look at the outfit. "You guys should get your costumes on soon, the rest of the guests will be here any minute. Tohru, I have your's in your room. I'll help you get it on, kay?"

In Tohru's room, Izi-chan told her to cover her eyes and count to five. At the last number, Tohru opened her eyes and was completely stunned by what was on front of her: black, leathery, studded, short, and BOOTS. Izi-chan said she shouldn't wear a bra with it, since it had no back. Um, wow? As she was slowly helped into the frock, Tohru wondered what the result would be. Finally, Izi-chan yelled, "Ta da!!" and Tohru hesitantly looked to her full length mirror.

She was floored: The black, leathery, studded, short thing was a black mini-dress with leather strips across the neck, around the waist, hanging off the hem with buckles. It was cut lower-than-low (but the amount of cleavage was somewhat subdued by thinner strips of leather) and shorter-than-short, barely falling below the ass. It had tiny slivers of sleeves, with more leather strips and buckles attached. And that was only half of it--IZi-chan presented her with thigh-high black fishnet stockings and the BOOTS she'd seen earlier (black, four inch spiked heel BOOTS). After those were on, Izi-chan attacked her with black lipstick and the thickest black eye makeup Tohru could imagine. Then came the hair, when Izi-chan mussed it into a sexy bedhead style using enough mousse to put a beauty parlor out of business. Tohru couldn't recognize herself when it was all done, but this time it was okay because of the theme. Kyo wouldn't get mad this time. Izi-chan even shoved a leather bull whip into her hand (Tohru protested, of course).

The opposite of her personality: S&M all the way.

They walked down the stairs (or, in Tohru's case, stumbled) like alpha females, and were gawked at by the guys, who were in their own costumes: Yuki was decked out in baggy jeans hanging around his knees, brightly colored boxers, and the biggest, baggiest hoodie any of them had ever seen.

The opposite of his personality: Troublemaker archetype meets ghetto-fabulous gangsta.

Shigure had on thick, Coke-bottle glasses and an ugly plaid sweater vest over a purple button-down shirt done to the very top button. On his legs were gray wool _shorts_, with ugly knee-high striped tube socks.

The opposite of his personality: Fashion victim nerd.

And finally, Kyo: Tohru's eyes feasted upon the suave black suit that hugged his muscled form. He'd forgone the tie, as usual, but now the wide expanse of chest he showed didn't scream 'bad boy,' it purred 'playboy.' His wild orange hair had been slicked back, so there was nothing he could hide under when his face turned bright red and his eyes bugged out of his head at the sight of Tohru's getup.

The opposite of his personality: Smooth-talking "business" man. (Insert innuendo here.)

Izi-chan scanned them all and smirked. "Let the party begin."

* * *

As the rest of the guests poured in, the bug eyed look became quite popular. In fact, every time someone walked through the door, it made a comeback.

With Hanajima: Pink fuzzy cashmere sweater and pure white tennis skirt, topped off with her hair pulled back in two pink pompoms. She'd even put on blush.

With Ayame: One of Hatori's super-professional suits, which made a completely different impact than Kyo's garb.

With Momiji: Using washout dye, he'd darkened his black with an electric green streak, his eyes stained with guy-liner. Slouchy dark "emo" clothes hung off his tiny frame. A fake lip ring shined from his mouth.

With Hatsuharu: Not knowing which personality he should use, he'd merely donned all-white pants and a shirt. All jewelry was left at home.

With Uotani: Giant sunglasses and enough gloss to cause an oil spill were on her face. She'd gone with the trashy girly-girl look with short short SHORT shorts and a skin-tight tube top. Her flaxen hair was stick straight and she smacked bright pink gum loudly.

With Hatori: It seemed he and Ayame had traded clothes, because he scowled as he wore one of Aaya's long pants/dress creations.

With Ritsu: His hair was styled in a way to create the illusion of short hair, and he meekly worked a flamboyant pant suits.

The younger Sohmas were being looked after by Kazuma, who'd opted not to go to the party. Izi-chan hadn't been able to contact the aloof Isuzu and even more aloof Kureno, and of course inviting Kagura was out of the question.

"Okay!" she shouted. "Let's get this party started!"

* * *

After the short period of awkward conversation making, someone put on a CASCADA track and the sake came out (a lethal combination). Soon everyone was dancing and laughing and just having fun. Ayame and Izi-chan screamed and sang to _This Love_ by Maroon 5:

"This love has taken it's toll on me. . .anyMOOOOOOORE!!"

And _Teenagers_ by My Chemical Romance:

"They said all teenagers scare, the living SHIT out of me. . .!!"

And every single song from Izi-chan _RENT_ collection:

"La vie boheeeeeeeeeme!! La vie boheeeeeeeeeme!!"

Needless to say, they were party animals (no pun intended).

Tohru laughed and danced with anyone who asked. She forgot what she was wearing and just acted as she usually did. She even managed to drink a little sake. Well, more than "a little" sake. Izi-chan was at her side whenever the level of alcohol in her class lowered, filling it to the top. Tohru liked the numb feeling it gave her; she didn't have to think when she was numb.

Shigure lowered the volume on the stereo ("Why'd you turn it off?!" Izi-chan screeched) and clinked his glass. "Everyone," he said. "I have a great idea." He waited for quiet. "Let's play I Never." Izi-chan and Ayame hooted with laughter and danced over to the table. They beckoned the others to squish themselves into a circle around it. As soon as everyone was there, Shigure explained the rules of I Never.

_Rules of I Never:_

_Everyone gets a generous glass of any alcoholic beverage._

_Everyone sits it a circle._

_The person who came up with the wonderful idea to play goes first. He/she says "I never. . ." followed by something they may or may not have done. (Example: "I never cheated on a test.")_

_Anyone playing who has done the something such as cheating on test has to take a drink of their alcoholic beverage._

_Go to the next person and repeat until either you have passed out or know way too much about a person and their gerbil._

Everyone was poured their generous glass of alcoholic beverage (in this case, sake) and Shigure started. "I never did anything I regretted." Only him. Everyone else in the circle drank.

Next was Ayame. "I never wore anything ugly." Yuki, Kyo, Shigure, and Hatori drank.

Izi-chan. "I never gave anyone a hand job." Before Tohru could ask what a hand job was, Hanajima raised the glass to her mouth. Everyone drank.

"I never wanted to play I Never," came Hatori's dry retort. Izi-chan, Ayame, and Shigure drank. They continued the game until Tohru stumbled over to the stereo and slurred, "How do I turrrrn thissing on?" Izi-chan stumbled to her (although her stumble was much less pronounced than Tohru's; she'd had more practice holding her liquor) and pressed a button. _Maneater _by Nelly Furtado blared from the speakers.

_"She's a maaaneater, make you work hard, make spend hard, make you want all of her love. . ."_ In time to the beat, Izi-chan climbed onto the table and pulled Tohru up with her. They started dancing wildly, shimmying and gyrating like big booty video hos. Hair flying as they shook their heads, the whole world seemed so clear to Tohru, yet at the same time fuzzy and uncertain. All she could do was dance and dance and laugh and laugh and hope that she didn't fall off the table.

The rest of the party joined in the dancing, most of them still continuing their boozing. With the help of the bottle, none of them felt any shame when they danced and danced like maniacs, especially Kyo. He'd thrown his jacket in the corner a while ago, and now his ironed shirt was coming off too. He grabbed Tohru's flailing hand and pulled her off the table and into his arms. Although obviously intoxicated, he still remembered not hug her. Still, he pulled her close enough to dance.

Suddenly The Killers came on. Izi-chan, who was still dancing crazily on the table, was joined by Shigure, and they started belting out the words to _When You Were Young_:

"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he, talks like a gentlemen, like you imagined when you, were yoooung!!" They really were plastered.

Kyo and Tohru laughed out loud at them, then continued their own dancing. His hands were splayed on her leather-clad hips, and she bopped along with her own hands in his no-longer-slicked-back hair. They moved as one crazy dancing machine.

Although she'd later blame it on too much sake, Tohru felt like it was the most natural thing to do as she moved her hands to his cheeks and pulled his face towards hers. Their lips fumbled for a moment before they melted into each other, and, like the night they played Truth or Dare, the whole world melted away, leaving only the beautiful person whose mouth was slanted against their own. Kyo brought his hands from Tohru's hips to span her petite waist. She kept her hands on his face, as if to ensure it stayed there. In reality, Kyo couldn't have moved it mouth if he wanted to--which he wholly did not--because he was so entranced by the taste of her lips. When they finally pulled back for air, Tohru grinned, turned around to the same potted plant Izi-chan had freak danced with the other night, and promptly vomited in it.

Everything became blurry after that, but one thing that stood out crystal-clear in Tohru's mind was that later, when she was emptying her stomach of any and all alcoholic beverage, it was Kyo holding her hair back.

* * *

**and the so the plot thickens. as if a hangover isn't bad enough, tohru's gonna have to explain her drunken shenanigans. fun fun!!**

okay, this has been bugging me for a while: authors and authoresses, when you publish a new story/chapter, do you get an email telling you so? i don't understand why Fanfiction feels it has to tell me what i already know.

well, stay tuned for the morning after and remember to review!!

Jax


	11. The Morning After

**woot woot!! eleven whole chapters done!! this story will probably be really long, cuz i'm planning on ending it around the same time it started (story-timeline-wise, that is). so expect some mistletoe around X-mas time (which probably won't be anytime soon, but whatev).**

anyway, i present to you chapter eleven!! (basks in thundering applause. . .or not)

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

* * *

Chapter 11 - The Morning After

"Hey!" Someone was speaking. No, not speaking; _yelling._ Quite inconsiderable, seeing as how Tohru was trying to sleep and her head was throbbing painfully. She attempted to peel her eyes open, only to squeeze them back closed as a blinding light nearly burned her retinas right out of her head.

"Hey, _you!_" A different voice started to yell. "What the fuck! Can you lower the volume, please?!" It wasn't a request.

Tohru buried herself farther underneath the warm cocoon of her quilt. She felt completely dreadful; was she sick? It felt like a really, really terrible stomach flu. Suddenly the quilt was ripped off her body by some very unkind person. Tohru whimpered.

"Tohru!" It was Izi-chan. Tohru risked opening one eye, just a crack, and saw that the older girl was still in the plaid skirt and white button-down shirt she'd been wearing at the Come As You Aren't party. Hadn't she bothered to change? Peeking at her own body, she saw she, too, was in her costume. "Tohru, are you awake?"

"No," she grumbled as she shoved her pillow over her head. Sick people shouldn't have to get up. Tohru could barely move.

"Tohru!" Izi-chan yelled. "Come on, sweetie! Hangovers suck, but that doesn't give you the right to lie in bed all day." Tohru opened her eyes and sprang up--wincing and cringing after doing so.

"Is that what this is? I'm not sick?"

Izi-chan raised an eyebrow. "No, dear, you aren't. This is just the effects of the ass-load of sake you downed last night. How much of the party do you remember?"

Frowning in thought, Tohru considered the night before. Fleeting images, not quite memories, filtered in. "I remember. . .you and Ayame-san singing. . .and then we played that game, I Never? Um, I drank a lot, didn't I. . .and then, we were dancing on the table. . ." She trailed off. "And then I don't remember anything else. It all gets kind of black."

Izi-chan nodded. "Yeah, that's all right. But after we danced on the table, you and Kyo--" She stopped suddenly and clapped her hand over her mouth. She looked to Uotani and Hanajima, whom Tohru hadn't noticed before; they were still in their costumes, also. "Should I tell her?"

"Tell me what?" Tohru asked. They all looked a little uneasy, and she doubted it was from _their_ hangovers. The air around them felt slightly ominous, like something nasty was about to go down.

The three girls exchanged looks. "Um," Uotani started. "Tohru. . .you're sure you don't remember _anything_ after dancing on the table?" Her eyes were shifty.

Tohru was perplexed. "No, I really don't. Why? What happened? Did I break something valuable of Shigure's? Is he kicking me out of the house?!"

Hanajima quickly said, "No, no, Tohru-kun. Nothing like that. It's just. . ."

"Will someone _please_ tell me what's going on?" Tohru cried. She was seriously freaked out.

Uotani and Hanajima pushed Izi-chan forward to explain. She shot them venomous looks over her shoulder. "Well," she said, "you kind of got _really really_ drunk and Kyo kind of got _really really_ drunk and he took you off the table and you two started dancing and then you sort of kind of made out with him right on the dance floor." Tohru's mouth dropped open. But Izi-chan wasn't finished. "And _after_ you guys macked in front of everyone you barfed into that potted plant Shigure has, and then Kyo took you into the bathroom and I think he helped you while you puked into the toilet. And, yeah."

Tohru was absolutely horror-stricken. "We made out?!" she screeched, then immediately regretted it when the loudness of her own voice hurt her head. "B-but we're friends!" she said quieter. "I didn't kiss anyone else, did I?!"

They shook their heads. "Just Kyon," Uotani said. Tohru let out a breath of relief, then sucked it back in when she realized she right where she started: Panicking because she'd kissed one of her best friends.

Seeing her extremely troubled expression, Hanajima calmed rubbed her back. "It's alright, Tohru-kun," she said softly. "You didn't remember it, so there's a chance Kyo-kun won't remember either."

"Yeah," Uotani chimed in. "He drank about as much booze as you, so he probably can't remember anything past the drinking game." She frowned. "Um, unless someone tells him like we told you. . ."

Tohru whimpered again and dove back into her duvet.

* * *

The orange-haired boy that was being talked about only a few rooms over was currently not even conscious. He had crashed into a _deep deep_ sleep last night after holding back Tohru's hair as she vomited into the toilet and making sure she was safely tucked away in her own room. In his present state of comatose, he was not aware of Momiji and Ritsu sleeping on the floor of his room (although they were much closer to responsiveness than he was). If he was, he'd have surely thrashed them.

When Momiji started jumping on him and screaming in his hungover ear, Kyo honestly considered the thrashing. Still, he could barely move, so beating Momiji repeating with a sharp stick was out of the question.

"Kyooooooooo!" Momiji wailed. Incidentally, _he_ was not suffering from hangover, since despite his actual age and the fact that Hatsuharu was allowed sake, all alcohol was kept away from Momiji and he was stuck nursing a Diet Coke all night. "Kyo!! Get _up!_ There's something really important you have to knoooooow!!"

Kyo shoved the smaller boy away from him while muttering a strew of colorful curse words. He snuggled deeper into his sheets and pillows, much like Tohru had only a little earlier. The bitch of a headache he was enduring was enough to make someone mad, but with the complete lack of moisture in his throat, the munchkin bouncing on his back, and the looming threat of his cousins stirred in, he was in no mood for anything that didn't include his duvet and pillows.

Momiji tried again. "Kyo!" he whispered. "This is really, _really_ important! Come on, get up!"

Kyo managed to lift his head and glare groggily at the blond boy. "What the fuck is so important that you're waking me up?!" he barked.

Taken slightly aback by the bite of his words, Momiji shrunk back a little and whispered, "Do you remember kissing Tohru last night?"

The one sentence was like a bucket of ice water dumped over Kyo's head. He sat all the way up, now completely awake. "I did what?!" he sputtered. "What! No! I-I wouldn't do that!"

Momiji nodded solemnly. "I took pictures on Haru's cell phone, just in case you didn't remember." He took out the phone and pressed a few buttons before showing a surprisingly clear picture to Kyo: Tohru, in her form-fitting leather outfit, with her tongue in the mouth of Kyo, his suit jacket long-forgotten and shirt half off his body. The both looked blissfully happy. The present-day Kyo's face drained completely of all color.

"Holy fucking shit."

"Holy fucking shit is right." Momiji and Kyo turned to see Hatori standing in the doorway, no longer wearing Ayame's clothes. "Kyo, what were you thinking?"

"It's not my fault!" Kyo protested. "I _wasn't_ thinking! I was drunk off my ass last night! How am I supposed to control myself with that much sake in my system?!"

Hatori sighed deeply. "You know," he said, "for a lot of people, alcohol is just an excuse to do things they wouldn't usually do." He stared straight at the boy. "Because they're too scared otherwise."

Kyo stared straight back. "Well, that isn't me. God, Tohru's my _friend._ Why would I want to make out with her?"

"Because she'd so pretty, because she was wearing that leather mini dress, because she so nice to you, because you're kind of in love with her," Momiji rattled off. "Or something."

The color that had previously drained from Kyo's face rushed back, times ten. He once again resembled a tomato with a pumpkin smashed on it. "HELL NO!" he bellowed. "What the hell?! I'm not in love with her!!"

But as he denied it, he couldn't help but think about how comfortable he always felt around Tohru; how sublime it was it talk to her and actually have her _listen_; how much he loved being accepted fully by someone who wasn't his Shishou. . .

. . .and he realized that, maybe, he really did love her.

Understandably shocked by this revelation, Kyo did something he'd later eschew: He fainted.

* * *

Uotani, Hanajima, and Izi-chan chilled Tohru down for a little longer before all all three left for the bathroom to "freshen up." Tohru was left alone with her worry nagging at her brain. Why on earth would she kiss Kyo? They were just friends! And _ohmygod,_ what would she say when they finally faced each other?! What would _he_ say when they finally faced each other?!

_Oh, mom,_ she thought. _What should I do? Everything is going all wrong! I never meant to kiss Kyo-kun. . ._

Brief flashes of last night came into her head. Laughing with Kyo at Izi-chan and Shigure. . .Dancing as close as possible with him. . .Pressing her lips to his. . .

"Oh God," she whispered. Amidst her arduous thinking process, Tohru got a zap from her head down to her toes that she recalled from the night of Truth or Dare, and suddenly the feeling she'd gotten from Kyo's tongue rubbing against hers consumed her. Her lips tingled, just the thought of it sending that wonderful sensation through her whole body again. She timidly brought her hand up to her mouth.

_It shouldn't feel that good to kiss your friend, should it?_ she thought. This whole ordeal was stressing her to no end. She tried to rationalize with herself. _Kyo-kun's really the only person I've ever kissed. So maybe that just means that kissing in general feels good? Yeah, I'll probably get over this whole thing if I kiss someone else! _However, something in the back of her mind kept her from believing her self-spun lies.

Suddenly, Izi-chan sauntered out of the bathroom and said, "What's with the constipated look, love? Still hassling yourself over Kyo's incredible kissing abilities?" She walked over to Tohru's bed and flopped down. "Of course, I've never actually kissed Kyo, so I wouldn't really know whether or not his kissing abilities are incredible. Are they, or do you not remember?"

Tohru tensed and blurted, "Well, I mean, I-I don't really remember that well. . ."

"I can tell you're lying, Tohru-chan," Izi-chan sing-songed.

"NO YOU CAN'T!" Tohru screeched. "How would you be able to tell?!"

"Well, first of all, you're exhibiting all the signs of a bad liar: tense body, red face, nervous fidgeting, too-defensive responses." She smirked. "Plus, you kissed Kyo that night we played Truth or Dare, so you'd already know what it felt even if you hadn't gotten completely sloshed."

"Oh." Tohru absorbed the information with an expressionless mask. "Well, um, I should go make breakfast now." She looked at her watch. "Er, lunch. Heh heh, bye then." And the darted out the door before Izi-chan could even scrutinize what she was wearing (Tohru did not realize she was still in the leather mini dress).

Worrying the whole time that she'd run into a _certain someone_, Tohru made a mad dash for the kitchen. Once she was in her haven-of-sorts, she set to work on making a filling lunch for twelve that would make up for the lack of nutritious breakfast. Soon, domburi and onigiri was out on the table--after Tohru had cleared it of half-empty cups and bottles of sake--and she was calling everyone down from the dark corners they'd stumbled to to nurse their hangovers.

It turned the only party-goers that hadn't drank their weight in sake (figuratively speaking, of course) were Momiji, Ritsu, Hanajima, and Hatori. Everyone else sported at least a small headache or bloodshot eyes. Despite her own post-drinking discomfort, Tohru was hardly ever sitting down, constantly up and refilling everyone's glass of orange juice (Izi-chan had stocked the fridge with the stuff; apparently she'd anticipated this) or asking if there was anything she could do to make anyone more comfortable.

However, this was just a feeble attempt to distract herself from the empty place at the table where Kyo should have been. Tohru's mind was screaming with possibilities of why he wasn't there: He had choked on his own vomit during his sleep and died; he slipped while showering and cracked his head open; he went out early to run, as usual, and was attacked by a bear or a murderer (most of the scenarios ended with his tragic death). Even so, Tohru couldn't help but think it was so he wouldn't have to see her.

It turned out it was none of the scenarios Tohru concocted: Kyo was still asleep from when he'd fainted. Hatori looked him over after it happened, but concluded it was probably best to just let him sleep it off.

Tohru couldn't stop thinking about him: Seeing Momiji perched innocently on Izi-chan's lap reminded her of when she was perched not-so-innocently on Kyo's lap. His abandoned suit jacket still lay in the corner from when he'd thrown it off last night to dance with her--which led her thoughts to the events proceeding that. Finally, Tohru cracked and asked Shigure, who was sitting next to her, "Um where's Kyo-kun this morning? Or, afternoon?"

Shigure smiled pleasantly--he, Ayame, and Izi-chan all looked unsettlingly not-hungover--and chirped, "Still sleeping it off. Why do you ask, Tohru-kun?"

"Shigure!" Izi-chan scolded. _"Vous savez très bien pourquoi elle a demandé, our fermer votre visage!"_

He stuck his tongue out at her and uttered, _"Toute cette chose s'est produite en raison de votre parti, de sorte que je pourrait ainsi tirer le meilleur parti de celui-ci."_ Izi-chan scowled.

"I didn't know you could speak French, Shigure!" Momiji exclaimed. "What did you guys just say?"

"The weather is nice," they said dryly in unison.

"Well, um," Tohru said. "If nobody minds, I go check on Kyo-kun, and bring him something to eat if he's up." Nobody objected, though quite a few covered their smirks with their hands.

As soon as Tohru was out of earshot, the gossip began. "Ohmygod," Izi-chan said, "should we send someone up with some condoms?"

"No way!" Uotani said. "They're both way too naive to even consider that!"

"After last night's show, who knows what they've been up to behind our backs," said Shigure.

"Honda-san would've told us," said Hatsuharu, "if she and Kyo were hitting the sheets. She couldn't keep a secret that big."

"Yeah," Momiji said. "They seem like they'd a big PDA couple."

"I am sooooo sooooooooory!!" Ritsu yelled. "If Tohru-san gets pregnant it will be alllllll myyyyyyy faaaaault!!"

"Keep it down!" Ayame shushed. "If they hear us, Kyonkichi will surely murder someone, and then our sweet princess Honda-san will be sad."

"If that baka neko hurts her," Yuki growled, "_I'll_ surely murder _him_."

"I'll help you," Hanajima said.

Hatori watched it all with a morose nostalgia. He shook his head and half-smiled. "I just hope they figure themselves out before it's too late," he said softly.

Somehow, over all the din of their dishing, he was heard by all of them. And they all silently agreed.

* * *

**uh-oh spaghetti-oh. kyo has sort of realized his love, and tohru is **_**mucho**_ **confused about why the hell she enjoys fooling around with kyo so much. also, for those of you who didn't bother copying and pasting the french dialogue between izi-chan and shigure onto a translator site, here's what they said:**

"You know full well why she's asking, so shut your face!"

"All this happened because of your party, so I might as well make the most of it."

next chappie: tohru and kyo will have to face the elephant standing in the corner named _**TohruandKyoarefriendsbuttheywannabeMOREonlytheydon'tknowit**_**.**

review please please please!!

Jax


	12. Are You In?

**i LUV my reviewers. i just felt like saying that. i'm totally psyched that people like this enough to let me get to chapter 12. (see how i worked in 'psyched?' who the hell says that anymore?) so, without further ado, let the awkward post-make out fluff continue!!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

* * *

Chapter 12 - Are You In?

Tohru crept up the stairs as slowly as possible. To the naked eye, it would look as if she was trying to avoid spilling Kyo's orange juice and domburi. In reality, she was trying to figure out how she would explain why she'd attacked him with her mouth the night before. She was so inconceivably nervous about how he'd react that she was nearly in tears by the time she was at his door, raising her dainty fist to knock.

She rapped lightly with her knuckles. No answer. She tried again, slightly harder. No answer. She paused for a moment, debating whether she should knock again, just go inside, or leave the food by the door and bolt. Favoring the third option, she was just setting the plate down when the door opened and she was at eye level with two tanned feet. Wide-eyed, she followed the feet up to two legs that were still covered with fine black pants (now rumpled), up to a naked torso (gasp!) and, finally, a face. A gorgeous face. A gorgeous, slightly shocked, very flushed face.

Oops.

"Oh, ah, hello there Kyo-kun!" Tohru screeched, jumping up from her haunches and nearly spilling the food. "Oh, uh, um, I-I thought you might be hungry, since you didn't come down for, um, lunch! So I brought you some food!" She giggled nervously. "Uh, duh, I mean, you can obviously see me with a plate of food! Ha ha! Um, yeah, so I'm just gonna give you this, and um, I hope the orange juice helps your headache, and, so, bye!" She shoved the plate into his hands and turned sharply to leave, but Kyo was already in front of her and grabbing her shoulders.

"Tohru." He ducked his head so that his eyes were covered in silky orange bangs. "We need to talk." He took her hand and pulled her into his room, abruptly slamming the door once they were in. Tohru felt her cheeks flush even darker than they were outside.

"Kyo-kun," she whispered. He put a finger to her lips to silence her, but apparently thought better of it (considering what her mouth was doing last night) and snatched his hand away. Tohru cleared her throat nervously. "Um, Kyo-kun, how's your head? I can get you some Advil if you want."

He stared at her and slowly shook his head. "My head is fine," he said. "I wanted to talk to you about. . .what happened last night."

Feigning ignorance, Tohru raised her eyebrows and squeaked, "Last night? What happened last night?"

He wasn't falling for it. Kyo continued to stare directly into her eyes and said softly, "I think you know what happened."

"I-I really don't know what you're talking about, Kyo-kun," Tohru lied. "But, um, I actually can't remember anything past dancing on the table with Izi-chan." She giggled nervously again. "I guess I'm not the kind of person who can hold her liquor very well, huh?"

At last, Kyo noticed that she, too, was still in her costume. His brain sighed that that would make this a conceivably more awkward conversation; his crotch hurrahed at the sight. Looking away and trying to think unsexy thoughts, he mumbled, "Tohru. We have to talk about it."

Tohru's face finally crumpled. She never was one to handle pressure very well. "Kyo-kun, I'm so sorry!" she cried. "I don't know why I did it! Really! I-I just. . .Izi-chan kept on filling my glass with sake, and then we played that drinking game. . ." She sniffled loudly. "Ah, but I know that's no excuse. I need to take responsibility for my actions. . ." Looking directly into his eyes for the first time since she entered his room, Tohru croaked, "I'm sorry for kissing you, Kyo-kun."

Kyo didn't know how to respond in the least. He realized there was really no proper way to explain to someone who only thought of you as a friend that you'd really enjoyed drunkenly making out with them, and that maybe you could be in love with them and you weren't sorry at all on behalf of the drunken making out stated above. If indeed he was in love with her, Kyo wanted Tohru to know. If there was even a tiny chance that she might feel the same way, and they could be happy together, he desperately wanted to take that chance. But he was so crippling afraid of rejection that he just shrugged and said, "It's fine. We can just pretend it never happened, if you want."

"S-so, you aren't mad at me, Kyo-kun?' Tohru mewled.

"No," he said, "I'm not mad at you." He walked over to his bedside table and grabbed a tissue. As he handed it to Tohru, their fingers brushed the tiniest bit, shooting a _shi-ZAM_ of lightning through both their bodies. "Now stop crying. You know I hate to see you so sad."

She laughed through her tears. "I thought you said I look beautiful when I cry," she teased.

"You do." Kyo smiled so softly that it sent Tohru to tears all over again. He grabbed another tissue and hugged her.

As she held the small orange cat in her arms, Tohru was at a crossroads: She felt relieved that Kyo wasn't refusing to speak to her ever again (he even _hugged_ her!), but she couldn't help but feel an aching sadness that he was fine with ignoring it. Did that mean it meant nothing to him? It definitely meant something to her, even if she couldn't figure out what. Tohru grinned her hundred-watt grin and buried her face in Kyo's soft fur, and decided she'd worry about all that later.

Right now she was with _him._

* * *

The rest of the day went by relatively peacefully (there was the occasional "baka neko/kuso nezumi" bickering and Izi-chan teasing). Tohru floated around the house with her head in the clouds and a chunk of lead in her stomach (an unhealthy combination if there ever was one), while Kyo kept himself stowed away in the "cat cave," claiming--through Tohru--that he was suffering a terrible headache, so keep out.

Izi-chan, too, was avoiding the group for the rest of the day. She took Shigure, Ayame, and Hatori aside and told everyone to "stay the fuck out" of Shigure's study until she said so. To the adolescents, it seemed like a tête-à-tête of conspiracy towards them. But since these particular teenagers were a terrible mixture of paranoia and egocentricity, the adults ignored them with the finesse of older siblings.

Safe in the comfort that was Shigure's study, Izi-chan exhaled and grinned at her childhood friends. "We finally escaped," she laughed. She plopped over to sandwich herself in between Hatori and Ayame.

Hatori frowned at her. "Is that why you insisted we have this little meeting? Because you were sick of teenagers?"

"Of course not, Hari." She looked serious. "I took you guys in here because we need to talk about what happened last night."

They knew what she meant. "Who knew Tohru-kun had such _cahones_?" Ayame said.

"I figured Kyo wouldn't have made a move if his life depended on it," Izi-chan replied. "I think _he_ could use some _cahones_."

"So that's why you dressed her like that?" Hatori asked. "Does that mean I didn't actually have to wear Ayame's clothes?"

"Yes. And no." Izi-chan pinched his cheek. "Don't tell me you didn't love wearing Aaya's. . .dressy-pants thingie?"

Ayame tittered, "I for one am glad to be back in my own hand-made garb. Haa-san, your suits are tailored nicely, yes, but they're so terribly _drab_. Couldn't I make just one little thing for you to wear?"

Before the sidebar could continue, Izi-chan interrupted with, "You guys! I need your help concerning the two clueless teenyboppers."

"You're going to have to be a lot more specific," Shigure said from his computer.

Izi-chan rolled her eyes. "The two clueless teenyboppers that would've started going at it right on the dance floor last night if Tohru hadn't upchucked," she specified.

"Oh, right. _Them_."

"Yeah. _Them_." Izi-chan pushed Shigure playfully on the shoulder. "Now that they've kissed--twice--they're probably wondering why the hell they enjoy it so much. At least, that's what I picked up from Tohru this morning when we were trying to console her." She turned to Hatori. "How did Kyo react when you went in there?"

"He was panicking," Hatori said. "After Momiji showed him the pictures, he started freaking out. Then when Momiji suggested that the reason Kyo kissed her was because he was in love with her, he looked like he was having a montage or something playing in his head. And he fainted." He smoothed a finger over and eyebrow.

"I think that says more than enough," Ayame stated. "So. . .what happens next?"

Shigure smirked. "That really depends on Kyon and Tohru-kun, doesn't it?"

Hatori glared at the three. "Why are you doing this?" he growled. "Why can't you just let them do this on their own?"

"You said it yourself, Ha'ri," Izi-chan said. "They need to figure themselves out before it's too late. And by the looks of it, too late may be sneaking up soon then we'd like." She sighed. "Yeah, I've only been back for a week. But from what I've seen, they could actually work. They could have a happily-ever-after. Do you know how many couples who could have had that missed it?"

Hatori scowled. Sadness panged his heart.

"Oh, God, Ha'ri," Izi-chan rushed. "I--I didn't mean it like that, I swear. I'm sorry; that was insensitive."

He nodded sadly. She was forgiven. Move on, please.

"Anyway," Izi-chan continued, slightly on edge, "I just think that if they don't get a push in the right direction, they might never get there. And I don't know about you, but I know I wouldn't be able to watch that."

Shigure and Ayame nodded. Hatori still looked unsure. "Give me one more reason why I should help you wit this," he said.

Izi-chan knew she had him. "Okay." She smiled. "Think of it as a social experiment; science. Now, going by the scientific method, observation: I observed the two in their natural habitat. Question: Are they falling in love? Hypothesis: They are in love but too scared to do anything about it, and/or they aren't aware of it yet. Experiment: That's where we are now. And conclusion: We don't know unless we try." She held out her hand to Hatori and said, "There's one more reason. Are you in?"

A smile slowly grew across his mouth. "Well, I do like science." He took her hand and shook it.

* * *

**now that izi-chan's plans for kyo and tohru are revealed (or are they?), and she's got the mabudachi trio on board, will it succeed? tune in next time!! (that reminds me of **_**Rocky and Bowinkle**_**.)and remember to review, please.**

whoa, typing this i kept on feeling déjà vu. i really don't know why.

Jax


	13. Summer!

**thank you reviewers!! the reason i wrote mayu's name as 'mayuko-sensei' and just 'mayuko' is because when she's with the students she has to be mayuko-sensei (it will make sense). and for those of you that only know Furuba by the anime, mayu is their teacher. she's actual an important character that the STUPID ANIME PRODUCERS felt was too much or something. anyway, i highly suggest you anime-watchers go out and purchase as many Furuba volumes as are available. especially volume 10 because that has a lot of mayu. go. right now.**

here's chapter 13.  


**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.**

* * *

Chapter 13 - Summer!

Tohru and the rest of her class sat on the very edges of their seats. Mayuko-sensei glanced at them and rolled her eyes. Kids had no patience at all. She turned to the clock: The red second hand went _tick tick tick_ as it got that much closer to the end of school.

The end of school! Finally, summer was upon them. Beautiful, independent summer. Tohru closed her eyes and smiled, imagining the fun she'd have with her friends that year. It would be the first summer she'd experience with Izi-chan; she could only imagine the things that crazy girl would do when they went to the beach and everything. Her grin widened.

"What are you so smiley about?" Tohru turned to see Kyo, smirking.

She grinned again. "Summer with Izi-chan. It's going to be so fun!"

Kyo paled. "Um, yeah. I'm sure it will."

"I bet she'll throw you in the pool again," Yuki said. To Tohru, "You see, Honda-san, one year Izi-chan had this pool party--"

"She doesn't need to know that!" Kyo hissed. "And _like_ that even counted. My back was turned. . ."

"Sohma!" Mayuko-sensei barked. Yuki and Kyo up. "_Kyo_ Sohma. Do I need to explain to you again how six inch voices work?" Kyo scowled and turned back around.

Four more minutes left. Mayuko-sensei was allowing everyone to chat with each other. She was as ready as they were for summer break.

Suddenly a certain loud, familiar laugh broke through the relative silence, followed by, "_Ohmygod_, you are just _so_ funny! Yeah, so thanks so much for taking me here!" And then she appeared: Izi-chan, in all her short shorts, silk Chinese-style halter top, and knee-high black combat boots glory, flung open the classroom door and then pretended to look shocked and embarrassed when she saw the class staring at her.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. She even brought her hand up to her 'O' shaped mouth. "I'm so sorry! I thought that you guys would be out by now!" Looking at Mayuko-sensei with eyes that held a secret, she said, "Sorry, _Sensei_. Would you mind terribly much if I sat with my cousins until school let out? It's only for a few more minutes, and I have something important to discuss with them."

Poker-faced, Mayuko-sensei gestured for Izi-chan to join her out in the hall. Their walks showed opposite personalities: Mayuko-sensei, a determined and stony march; Izi-chan practically danced out. They looked like female versions of Hatori and Ayame to Tohru. As soon as the door was shut, the class turned to Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru excitedly.

"Is your cousin single?!" several of the boys asked.

"Where did she get that top?!" a group of girls interrogated.

"What's so important that she has to interrupt Sohma-kun's learning?!" the Prince Yuki girls hissed, despite no actual learning happening.

Yuki sighed and rubbed his temples, as if just having Izi-chan his vicinity gave him a headache. Kyo ignored all the questions and put his head down (Uotani poked him repeatedly). Tohru answered questions politely.

"Tohru-kun," Hanajima said, "I sense that Izi-chan is friendly with Mayu-sensei, and vice versa. Is that true?"

Tohru was suprised. "Um, you think they're friends? I really don't know. Izi-chan never mentioned knowing her."

"Hmm." Hanajima looked to the door.

* * *

As soon as the door closed, Mayuko whisper-shrieked, "You're back!"

The two hugged like junior high school girlfriends reuniting after a long break. "_Ohmygod_, it's so great to see you again, Mayu!" Izi-chan squealed. Pulling back wide-eyed, she said, "Ayame said that you went with him to Kana's wedding!"

"Yeah." Mayuko nodded. "Her dress was so gorgeous. I have some pictures if you want to see."

"I do," Izi-chan said. She smiled warmly. "So, how are things going with you and Hatori?" She nudged her friend.

Mayuko glared at her and growled, "Shut up. I haven't even seen him for like, two years."

"You know, I could always set up a little party where you two might just _happen_ to get drunk and dance and make out. . ."

"As if that would even work," Mayuko scoffed and rolled her eyes.

Izi-chan smirked. "Oh, it works. Trust me." She winked.

"That's a little TMI," Mayuko said. She smiled anyway. "So what's so important that you need to pull up a chair in my class?"

"Oh, it's actually nothing," Izi-chan uttered while inspecting her nails. "I wanted to see if I could get in, and then if it worked I'd stir up some controversy or something."

Mayuko laughed. "You say that so casually," she giggled. "It's scary how similar you are to Shigure-kun and Ayame-kun."

Pouting, Izi-chan teased, "What, I'm not anything like Hatori?"

They laughed.

* * *

"It sounds like they're laughing," a brown-haired boy who had his ear pressed to the door said confusedly. Turning to Yuki and Kyo, he said, "What's up with that?"

They were equally confused. "I have no idea," Yuki said.

"I guess you were right, Hana-chan," Tohru said.

The Gothic girl smiled spookily. "I always am," she murmured. "The waves never lie." She peered at the brown-haired boy at the door and said, "They're coming back in, Hitoshi-san."

He scrambled away from the door and leapt to his seat just in time for Mayuko-sensei not to see him looking conspicuous. The teacher calmly told her students to settle down and walked to her paper-littered desk. Izi-chan was left to scamper over to her cousins.

"So Mayu-sensei actually let you stay?" Yuki asked.

"I've got connections." She settled gleefully into a chair right in the middle of Kyo and Tohru.

Kyo crossed his arms over his chest. "So what did you need to tell us?"

Izi-chan's face was solemn. "Well," she whispered, "I found out today that. . .well, this really isn't very easy to say, but. . .I'm pregnant." The class' collective jaw dropped (of course they'd been listening).

"What?!" Tohru screamed.

Izi-chan nodded. "And Shigure's the father."

"What?!" Mayuko-sensei screamed. "That bastard knocked you up?!" Before anyone could ask how Mayuko-sensei even knew who Shigure was or when or how the hell this happened, Izi-chan's grave expression cracked and she burst out laughing.

"Oh-oh, you guys, holy fuck!" she guffawed. She could barely breathe from the laughter clouding her throat. "_Ohmygod!_ You should have seen your faces when I said I was preggers!"

Mayuko-sensei angrily--and embarrassedly--rushed over to the chortling girl and yelped, "Jesus Christ, Izi-chan! You scared the shit out of me! Don't scare me like that!" She shook her shaking shoulders. (a: try saying that one five times fast.) Izi-chan fell out of her seat from the sudden movement and continued her side-splitting laughter from the floor. Mayuko-sensei screamed, "What is wrong with you?" But she was laughing too.

Tohru jumped out of her seat to see if Izi-chan was okay, while Kyo asked Mayuko-sensei what the hell that just was.

"Watch your language, Sohma," she scolded.

"You mean like you just did?" he replied haughtily. She glared.

"We are, indeed, acquainted," Mayuko-sensei said through clenched teeth. Not only had she just nearly had a heart attack (the thought of Izi-chan and Shigure in bed!), but she'd lost her temper and humiliated herself in front of her students. Straightening up and trying to maintain the small piece of dignity she had left, she muttered, "We met through Hatori-kun."

"So," Yuki said to Izi-chan, who was still giggling on the floor, "you really aren't pregnant with Shigure's child?"

The laughter started again. One might assume that she was on drugs. "God, no!" Izi-chan cackled. "As _if_ I'd let him touch me." She smirked at Mayuko-sensei, who glared daggers back in a way that said _Go ahead, do it. I'll murder you_.

She would, too, Izi-chan knew.

Finally sitting up from her laughing fit, Izi-chan got up and hugged Mayuko-sensei like an apologetic younger sister would. "I'm so sorry, Mayu-chan," she whimpered waggishly. Mayuko-sensei rolled her eyes. "I'll make it up to you over the summer. We should totally hang out!"

This was a last day of epic proportions to the students of Mayuko-sensei's class: Within the last few minutes, they'd been greeted by a seemingly-insane girl who collapsed on the floor laughing after bringing out the human being in their teacher. And the two actually seemed to be _friends!_ Not something they saw every day, and certainly not something they'd forget that summer.

_Brrrring!_

The students perked up and looked to Mayuko-sensei, who was blushing. She nodded.

"YES!" they shouted. "SUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMER!!" Chairs were flipped over as people sprung from their seats as fast as they could to get out of their personal hellholes. Izi-chan smiled at them as she remembered how she reacted when school was finally out. Flipping back to reality, she told her cousins and Tohru she was driving them home. Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru shuffled from the classroom--quite  
the contrary to their earlier classmates--while Izi-chan hung back long enough to hug Mayuko again.

"Seriously," she whispered, "we should hang out this summer. Us and the Trio." Pulling back, she barely had enough time to see Mayuko's strangely melancholy expression before she grinned moronically and ran after her cousins.

* * *

"Here's to making it past Golden Week!" Izi-chan laughed as she clinked glasses with the Household of Shigure. She and her host were drinking tequila, Yuki sipped something that tasted like fruit juice but that he probably would go easy on, just in case, and Kyo and Tohru drank water in wine glasses, as to not replay the Come As You Aren't party. Apparently ready for a conflict, Izi-chan asked Tohru quite loudly why she didn't want any tequila. Just before Tohru could give her blushing answer ("Um, my stomach is feeling a little off"), there came a booming knock from the the front door, followed by, _"Kyooooooooooo-chaaaaaaaaaan!!"_

Izi-chan, looking very angry and a little frightened, jumped out of her seat and sped in the opposite direction of the voice. Kyo, looking very frightened and a little angry, whisper-yelled, "Don't let her in!" and sped after her. No sooner than five seconds later, the one and only Kagura Sohma ran into the room in one of her rages howling, "Where is my beloved _Kyooooooooooo-chaaaaaaaaan_?!"

Meanwhile, Kyo frantically fumbled with the doorknob of a hallway closet on the other side of the house, mindful of his limited time. Once he finally had the doorknob, the door was torn open and Kyo nearly stepped on Izi-chan, who was sitting on the packed closet floor with her legs pulled up to her chest. "I was here first!" she hissed. Her eyes widened as they heard the lumbering of Kagura, and she pulled him in next to her and closed the door as quickly and quietly as possible.

The footsteps and shouting got closer as Kyo and Izi-chan hugged their knees to their chests like childhood stuffed animals. _"Kyoooooooooooo-chaaaaaaan!!"_ the banshee screeched. A shadow stopped in front of the closet door. Kyo squeezed his eyes shut and Izi-chan braced herself with her best brain-melting glare. The shadow moved and the banshee voice slowly faded. _"Kyooo. . .!"_ Izi-chan and Kyo let out sighs of relief.

Thank whomever saved them from the Fate of Kagura.

* * *

"Kagura-san," Tohru said as politely as she could muster, "can I take your bolero to the coat closet?"

"Of course Tohru-chan!" the Boar trilled. Throwing the flimsy material at her, Kagura plopped herself down where Izi-chan had been sitting and asked for some of the "fruit juice" Yuki was drinking.

Tohru walked with the bolero to the coat closet and could've sworn she heard some sort of whispering a few feet away. She peered around in all directions, and saw no one. Cautiously, she twisted the knob and immediately heard gasping. She opened the door and was floored to see that the hall coat closet was the hiding place of choice of the Great and Prideful Izi-chan and Kyo. "What are you two doing in here?" she asked. They grabbed her by the legs and dragged her in.

Kyo covered her mouth with his hand when she almost yelled out in surprise. Izi-chan closed the door quietly and quickly as before. As soon as it was closed she turned to Tohru and shushed her silently and angrily. "Do you _want_ her to find us?!" she whispered.

Tohru's eyes--the only part of her face uncovered from the meaty paw of Kyo's hand--widened and filled with tears from being yelled at (she never could handle yelling well). Izi-chan softened and whispered, "Sorry, sweetie, but getting caught really isn't an option." She noticed Kyo's hand was still blanketing over half of Tohru's admittedly small face. "Um, as much fun as I'm sure you're having touching Tohru's face, you can stop now." Kyo retracted his hand like it was on fire; his face looked like it was.

Tohru, also blushing, scooted slightly away from him and attempted to stand up to hang up Kagura's bolero without standing up and sticking her butt in Kyo's face (as she knew she would end up doing). Izi-chan told Tohru to get back out there before Kagura got suspicious, she'd hang up the bolero, and maybe politely urge Kagura to leave really soon.

Thirty minutes later, Izi-chan had farted on Kagura's bolero, Kyo dared her to eat a button that had fallen off a coat (she refused), and they were steadily becoming more and more uncomfortable of sitting on vacuum cleaner bags. Thirty-one minutes later, Tohru poked her head in and reported that Kagura wanted to stay the night.

This summer would turn out to be a long one.

* * *

**kagura finally makes an appearance!!** **oh joy. (my tone drips with sarcasm, because kagura is easily my least favorite character in all of Furuba. either mayu or rin is my favorite.)** **summer has officially begun in the story, which would speed the timeline up a few weeks (izi-chan first entered during late spring). so. . .yeah.**

i have decided on a ransom: six reviews or no chapter 14 (and i know there's more than six people reading this because the last chapter alone got like 70 or 80 hits, plus my 17 lovely favorite-story-ers and 20 story-alert-ers add up to slightly more than six). so there you go.

**Jax**


	14. Confessional

**thank you reviewers. i'm glad i'm not alone when it comes to disliking kagura. here's chapter 14.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba.

* * *

Chapter 14 - Confessional

Once Tohru reported that Kagura was safely asleep in her room, Izi-chan quietly stretched her extremely cramped legs and left for her car. Kyo, however, was not nearly as lucky: He silently crept outside to the ladder that led to the roof. As much as he enjoyed high places, he rather disliked having to hide from someone in his own house. Plus, his stomach was howling every five seconds as he was forced to skip Tohru's delicious dinner with Kagura lurking. That alone should have notified the Boar of his whereabouts, but it didn't. Debating whether or not he should sneak down to the kitchen to swipe some onigiri, Kyo didn't hear someone climbing the ladder until dear little Tohru poked her head up on the roof.

"I knew you'd be up here." She grinned and placed a small plate on the rooftop. Talk about déjà vu: Tohru bringing him onigiri while they hid from the evil clutches of Kagura. Kyo shrugged the feelings off as he hungrily gobbled up the first rice ball in two seconds flat. She grinned again.

Through his food-induced euphoria, Kyo couldn't help but notice how cute Tohru looked in her teeny-tiny pajama tank top and matching teeny-tiny shorts (purchased by Izi-chan, no doubt). On anyone else, the ensemble would probably look inappropriate and whorish, but Tohru somehow carried it off with the purity she radiated. Which is not to say she didn't look attractive; no, Kyo was completely bewitched by her, as always. So bewitched, in fact, that he didn't realize she was asking him a question. "Huh?" he mumbled with his mouth still full.

"I said isn't this summer going to be fun?" she repeated. "Izi-chan said she has a surprise for us tomorrow--oh, but if Kagura-san is here, I guess she won't be coming. . ." Kyo laughed at her furrowed brows. Tohru blushed but smiled anyway. "What do you think the surprise will be?"

Kyo shrugged. "It's not like it matters much to me."

"Why not?"

"Why not what?" Kyo moved onto his third onigiri. Delicious.

"Why doesn't it matter to you?" Tohru asked. "She's part of you family, isn't she? And she'll most likely include you in whatever the surprise ends up being."

He smiled a bit bitterly. "Yeah, well, it's a big family. And Izi-chan's personality. . .we've always just kind of clashed. She's got a lot of dirt on me. Embarrassing shit from when I was a kid. But I appreciate her helping me with the shit with Kagura, hiding me and stuff." He sighed. "Whatever. If you like the surprise, I'm sure I'll put up with it." He finished the onigiri to see Tohru with a strange expression. "What is it?"

"Nothing. It's nothing at all." She smiled in that way that melted him, every part of him, every time. It was nothing short of a miracle that he didn't immediately turn into a puddle at her dainty feet. She yawned loudly, stretching her arms above her head. Kyo struggled to not look at her chest.

"T-tired?" he stuttered.

Tohru giggled. "Yeah, I guess this day was longer than I thought." She shivered. "Now I'm kind of regretting the shorts and tank top." She barely had the words out of her mouth when she felt a warm, fleshy weight on her shoulder, tugging her closer to the boy sitting next to her, and suddenly she forgot all about being chilly. Kyo had his arm around her shoulder. _Kyo_ had his arm around her shoulder. Kyo had his _arm_ around her _shoulder_.

_Her_ shoulder!

"S-sorry," he said, taking his arm away hurriedly. He seemed to be stuttering a lot in her presence these days. "I, I'd offer you my coat or whatever, but since I'm not wearing one. . .Um, I don't even know why I did that, so, uh, just forget the whole thing. That was stupid of me." He scooted slightly away from her, hoping the night hid his blush, but stopped when Tohru's small hand tugged on sleeve.

"It's fine," she whispered. "I liked it." Strangely, she wasn't blushing at all. Either she was completely oblivious to the fact that his heart was beating a million miles a minute (likely), or--and Kyo knew this was a bad case of wishful thinking on his part--she was just so comfortable with her own violently beating heart caused by him. "I feel like we haven't been able to spend time together lately, and I. . ." She smiled shyly. "It felt nice."

He put his arm back around her shoulder.

* * *

Early the next morning, Kyo stumbled into the kitchen, getting some water before his run, when he discovered at note from Kagura, written in curly, bubbly girl script: _I forgot I had an appointment today! Left really early, see you! -Kagura_. Kyo rolled his eyes. He grabbed a bottle and headed towards to door. He sighed heavily when he opened the door.

Getting out of her car, in jogging pants and a sports bra, was Izi-chan. She looked vaguely annoyed (probably at getting up at the butt-crack of dawn), and she hadn't bothered to put on her usual scary-girl eyeliner (it was scary to Kyo, at least). And for once she was not wearing heels: Her feet were clad in running shoes. She looked up from the bag she was fumbling with and saw Kyo standing in the doorway. "Hey, we need to talk. I'm going running with you."

It was not a question. Kyo didn't protest, just walked over and said, "Whatever. Kagura went home, FYI."

"Good" was Izi-chan's response. They didn't elaborate on the subject; neither wanted to anyway. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah."

After jogging for about twenty minutes in silence, they stopped to catch their breath at a random tree in the forest surrounding Shigure's house. Curious as to why Izi-chan went out of her way to not only get up early, but willingly spend time with him, Kyo asked what she'd wanted to talk about.

"You." She deliberately kept her face expressionless, not even smirking. "Well, actually, more you and Tohru."

Kyo's guard was immediately up. He narrowed his eyes. "What about us?" he inquired suspiciously.

Izi-chan smiled in a way that said _You know 'what about_.' "You're in love with her," she said, "aren't you?" Before Kyo could work up his flustered alibi, she said, "I know you are, so don't bother denying it. I've seen how you look at her, and with the kisses--"

"You're the one who filling us with sake that night!" he interrupted angrily.

"I used to work as a bartender, Kyo, so don't give me the whole 'I-was-drunk' spiel. Alcohol doesn't change people. If anything, it brings out the qualities people are too afraid to show normally." Kyo faintly remembered Hatori saying the same thing to him the morning after the party. His disavowal was starting to seem weak.

"Still," he said. "You have no proof that I _am_ in love with her." He glared at the older girl, daring her to argue with him.

Surprisingly, she didn't. "You're right," she acknowledged serenely. "I don't. I have no concrete proof at all, no incriminating pictures or sound bites of sweet nothings, much as you might have assumed. But I know it when I see it, and I see it every time you say her name or look in her direction: Your voice gets softer, your face relaxes, and then there's that smile that I've only ever seen you give her. You love her." She paused and took a sip of Kyo's water; he was too stunned to object. "And even if you haven't worked up the balls to admit it to her, I at least hope you've admitted it to yourself." She handed him back the water. "Hey, we better start heading back. Everyone'll be up soon."

She straightened up and was about to run off when Kyo cleared his throat. "Izi-chan," he whispered, "you're not going to tell her, right?" He was blushing.

Izi-chan smiled tranquilly. "No. You will." Then she ran away in the direction of Shigure's house while shouting, "Race you!!"

Kyo won.

* * *

**originally i'd planned on going in a COMPLETELY different direction for this chapter, but i've had this scene all worked out in my head for a while, so i figured i might was well use it now.**

next chappie: izi-chan's surprise. tohruecstatic. yukireluctant but overruled. kyoBLUSH BLUSH BLUSH, things will change. what the hell's she planning?!

and for this chapter's ransom, i want 10 reviews. again, with the number of hits, i don't see how that will be a problem.

Jax


	15. The One Where Somebody Gets Wet

**thank you to reviewers!! oh, and if you saw the title of this chapter and thought 'LEMON,' i just want to tell you it's not a lemon. sorry, but not this time. here's chapter 15.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba.

* * *

Chapter 15 - The One Where Somebody Gets Wet

"So," Shigure said, nibbling the Tohru-made breakfast in front of him, "Izi-chan, what's your big surprise for us?" He swallowed. "Or is it so big you can't tell us?"

Izi-chan said nothing. She just pursed her lips in a way that said _The latter, my dear_. Kyo rolled his eyes, but made sure Izi-chan couldn't see; who knows if she was lying or not when she said she wouldn't tell? And on that note, what the fuck did she mean when she said, "You will"? Sure, except as far as Kyo knew there had been no blizzard report in HELL. Risking a glance at Tohru, Kyo decided that since she didn't look twitchy or uncomfortable in his presence, Izi-chan most likely didn't tell her. One less thing to worry about (for now).

"... o? Kyo?" Tohru waved her hand in front of his blank face.

"Huh?" he shouted. "Oh, uh, what is it?"

"You were staring at her," Yuki said, glaring. "Why don't you learn some manners, _baka neko_?"

"Why don't _you_ just shut the fuck up, _kuso nezumi_?" Kyo countered. Score one for the baka.

"Burn!" Izi-chan giggled. "Are you just gonna take that, Yuki?"

"It's not worth it to argue with him." Kyo ignored this.

"Izi-chan," Tohru said, "would you like some more tea?"

"Nope." She grinned. "Actually, I think it's time for the surprise. Go and guess what it is." Not even giving them five seconds to predict what it could be, she shrieked, "Okay! I'll tell you!" (Pause for dramatic effect.) "You guys get to help me wash my car! Isn't that fun!"

Yuki and Kyo scoffed. "What kind of surprise is that?" Kyo said.

"Well, I bet you weren't expecting it." Izi-chan shrugged. "Okay, so that's not really the surprise. I've been too lazy to get it done. BUT, if you guys want the real surprise, you'll have to help me wash my Bug."

Yuki frowned. "So, basically, you're blackmailing us?"

"No, it's extortion. There's a fine distinction." Izi-chan smirked. "Don't strain yourself." She jumped up and pulled Tohru up with her. "We'll go change into our bikinis since it's so hot out. You guys should probably go shirtless." Before anyone could blush the teeniest bit, the two girls scampered upstairs in a flurry of slender limbs and long hair.

* * *

"Izi-chan," Tohru whined, "I can't wear this bathing suit! It's way too revealing. I'm practically naked!"

She rolled her eyes. "Tohru-chan, that's how it's _supposed_ to look. What's the big deal? You look hot." She paused and looked to the younger girl secretively. "I bet _Kyo_ will like it."

Tohru turned bright red, a fact magnified by her lack of clothing. "Kyo-kun won't care what I'm wearing," she muttered.

"Oh, I'm sure he won't," Izi-chan simpered. She didn't sound that sure to Tohru. "Will _you_ care what _he_ wears?"

Tohru figured the best answer was to say nothing. Izi-chan had the short-term memory of a goldfish anyway.

"Alright, cupcake," Izi-chan said, pulling out a colorful piece of fabric, "if you're really uncomfortable in the bikini, you can wear this sarong."

Tohru furrowed her brows. "Why do you carry a sarong around in your purse, Izi-chan?"

"I don't. I brought it just for today." She tied the fabric around Tohru skinny hips so that the younger girl visibly relaxed. "There you go: Slut-no-more, in five seconds or less!" She smiled. "Now that you're no longer whorish, let's go tramp it up with the guys!"

* * *

"I can't believe she's making us wash her car," Kyo grumbled outside. Opting for cargo pants and an unbuttoned short sleeve shirt, he was hoping for minimal water getting on himself (which might be impossible, since Izi-chan would probably try to dump a bucket of water on his head--again). He turned to Shigure. "And how come you don't have to help, _kuso inu_?"

Indeed, the Dog was sitting in a fold-out lawn chair in his usual gray kimono. "I'm supervising" was all he said. Insert eye-rolling from Yuki and Kyo here.

"Are you bitches ready for our fabulousness?" Izi-chan called from inside. Insert second eye-rolling from Yuki and Kyo here. They could faintly hear Tohru whine, "Izi-chan!" in embarrassment.

"Hurry up, Izi-chan!" Kyo shouted. "We're going to start burning up soon!"

"You'll burn up once you see us, Kyon. We look HAWT." Then they stepped out into the summer sun.

Izi-chan looked like she always did: Stunning, in confidence and looks, just with less clothes on (a purple and black bikini and platform sandals, to be exact). But it was Tohru who Kyo's eyes strayed to (what else is new?). Looking so sheepishly adorable, Tohru bit her bottom lip cutely. She'd donned a yellow and pink striped string bikini (Kyo guessed Izi-chan bought it for her) that showed much more skin than it clear she liked. But someone had supplied her with a matching pink skirt-scarf-thing (Izi-chan would later tease Kyo for not knowing the term 'sarong') wrapped around her slender hips and waist. The whole look was topped off with lovely little pink flip flops with yellow floral designs on them. She looked like she'd just stepped from a magazine (at least to Kyo, she was).

"Um," Tohru stuttered, "how do I look?" She desperately hoped there wouldn't be a repeat of the Halter Dress Incident.

_Gorgeous, beautiful, bodacious, completely striking, sexy_, the list of compliments went on and on in Kyo's head, but before he could say anything Yuki, Shigure, and Izi-chan were telling her all of it. Anything he could say would just look lame after that.

If only he knew: The only opinion Tohru was looking for was his. As she was hurled compliments every which way, Tohru couldn't help but feel lonely when Kyo didn't say anything. She was afraid he hated it (and her). The orange-haired boy merely shuffled his feet and stared at the ground, avoiding her gaze. However, her said gaze found its way to Kyo's naked chest. How many times by now had she seen his finely sculpted bare torso?

"Tohru?"

"Tohru-kun?"

"Honda-san?"

She snapped out of her Shmexy-Kyo daze at the voice of her friends. (a/n: lol, ever been in a Shmexy-Kyo daze? ... i have. XD) "Oh, um, let's get started!" she said, smiling nervously. She squeezed the extra-large yellow sponge in her hand (Izi-chan had called it her personal Spongebob) and picked up one of the buckets of sudsy water.

Izi-chan smiled and grabbed the hose. "Get to work you peons!" she mock-commanded. Tossing the hose to Yuki--who caught it, of course--she hooked her iPod up to the speakers like she did at the Come As You Aren't. She excepted much less drunken dancing/kissing this time, though.

Kyo grabbed a rag and went to work on one of the dirt-caked hubcaps. Tohru took this chance to every-so-casually sidle up to him and concentrated on scrubbing the filthy door next to the hubcap he was cleaning--when was the last time Izi-chan had washed this car?

"I'm sorry," Kyo mumbled, almost incoherently. It was obvious he didn't want anyone to hear. "For, you know, not saying anything about you're outfit." He paused and blushed. "You look ... really great." He blushed a darker red. "Uh--! No that you don't always look really great, 'cause you do, it's just, um ... well, you-you look, I dunno, just--" He stopped his rant when he heard Tohru giggling. "What the hell's so funny?" Then he cringed when he realized he'd snapped at her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"No, no, Kyo-kun," Tohru laughed, "thank you. I know what you're trying to say, and I'm s-sorry for laughing at you, b-but it's just, when you're all flustered and you have water all over your pants, you look so cute!" She covered her giggling mouth with her hand.

Kyo looked down, horrified, to see that--yep--he'd dripped sudsy water all over his cargo pants while distracted in his attempt to compliment Tohru. Instead of feeling completely awful because of the water touching him, he smirked evilly and said, "You wanna see cute?" He dunked his rag in the bucket of water and then dropped the soaked cloth on Tohru's head. "Now _that's_ cute."

Tohru shrieked, but the shriek turned into more laughter when she threw her sponge at his uncovered chest. Soon they were chasing each other around Izi-chan's car, Kyo threatening to upend the bucket of water on Tohru's head and Tohru squealing delightedly. For some reason, she really wanted him to dump the water on her.

Yuki rolled his eyes at this. Honestly, were they five years old? He wanted to tell them to quit flirting and get back to helping him, but he could see that Tohru was really enjoying herself, and he'd never actually seen Kyo having so much fun. Shigure mumbled something about the summer heat getting to their hormones, but he ignored him. Let them have their stupid fun.

Izi-chan smirked at the obvious flirtation. They were both so completely clueless, it wasn't even funny. She considered asking them if they wanted her to play some porno music (jokingly, but sort of not), but decided that would just be mean. After all, with Kyo's extremely high levels of humility, he'd probably explode. And that would make Tohru sad. So she swallowed the taunting word vomit and settled for adding to the Shigure's earlier mumbling about sun and hormones. Whatever.

Tohru squealed again when a good amount of the water hit her back. In the delirium rushing through her, she grabbed the still-running hose from Yuki and proceeded to point it at Kyo, who was instantly covered from his waist to his bare feet. He lunged forward with playful revenge in mind, when he slipped on the water and landed flat on his ass.

There was applause and laughter from the peanut gallery. Tohru just smiled and extended an arm to help him up. He grabbed her hand and acted like he was using it to get up, but instead he pulled her down to where she landed, straddling his hips, with her hands on either side of his head. They laughed for about a millisecond before the reality of the situation hit them hard and cold: This position could very easily be taken advantage of and made sexual. _Very_ easily. There were two possible choices for how to deal with these delicate circumstances.

a) Get up with wounded pride but their friendship still intact, or

b) Tear off the small amount of clothing they were still wearing and start making violent love on the ground outside Shigure's house, in front of their friends and roomies.

The arduous decision-making process came to an abrupt halt when Izi-chan began wolf-whistling and Shigure called out, "Get a room, would you please!" Tohru scrambled off Kyo as quickly as possible, her face a million brighter than the pink of her bikini. Kyo just lied there, shocked, until _someone_ (Izi-chan) stage-whispered, "He's probably staying down because he's got a total boner."

Enraged--and thoroughly mortified--he jumped up (boner-free!) and ran into the house, the words "Fuck you, Izi-chan!" heard crystal-clear by everyone. The silence that followed was excruciating.

Izi-chan, forever cool and calm, looked not a bit offended by his comment. Her haughty smirk only enlarged with the response she'd gotten out of him, as if that's exactly what she'd been hoping for (knowing her, it probably was). She was about to make some remark about the two teens trying out some different positions later, but Tohru beat her to the punch.

"Izi-chan," she mumbled, red-faced and determined, "that wasn't a very nice thing to say to Kyo-kun. It was an accident how we ended up ... like that, a-and it's not Kyo-kun's fault. I think you should apologize to him."

_Now_ she was shocked. Izi-chan was hardly ever reprimanded, and when she was, it was _never_ by someone younger or smaller than her. To have Tohru--quiet, nice, demure, little Tohru--call her out on her bad behavior was quite a shock to the unflappable Izi-chan. She opened her mouth to ... she wasn't sure, but it didn't matter anyway, because Tohru was already scurrying away, presumably to check on Kyo.

"She's right, you know." This came from Yuki. Izi-chan whipped her head around to see him frowning in disapproval. "You really should apologize to them both."

Sending her best bone-chilling glare his way. "Oh, what," she barked, "now _you're_ gonna start in on me, too? What the fuck, Yuki?" She came closer to him. "What I do and what I say is _my_ business, so I would appreciate you not butting in. You should know not to cross me."

He folded his arms across his chest and continued frowning. "All I know is, nothing was half as awkward here before you came back with all your little 'plans.' Now every time you come over, you make some comment about those two that splits the whole house apart, then you just flounce away without a scratch on you." Leaning into her face, he hissed, "So don't talk to me about 'your business.' You've made this my business." Then he stalked into the house and slammed the door with more force than necessary.

Finally doubting herself, Izi-chan self-consciously turned to Shigure and said in a voice no bigger than a whisper, "Was that really my fault?"

He shook his head and smiled. "No. You just made it worse."

* * *

"Kyo-kun. Please let me in." Tohru stood at Kyo's door, knocking feebly. "Please let me in? I want to talk."

The door slowly opened, revealing Kyo wearing dry pants, but no shirt. Tohru was suddenly all too aware of the large amount of skin she herself was showing, and the skin that was covered was damp and getting colder by the second. She hoped Kyo didn't notice how her--_ahem_--chest was responding to the chilly house.

"What is it?" he asked, blushing. Apparently he _did_ notice (he was really just still embarrassed about the scene outside). In addition to the red face, he seemed a little annoyed.

This shrunk Tohru's confidence a bit. "Well, um, I just wanted to ... uh, to ..." What exactly _had_ she come up her for? She knew that straddling him _was_ sort of her fault, but then again it was also sort of his. On that note, the straddling itself was not really cause by Izi-chan at all; she just helped in making it more-than-slightly uncomfortable afterwards. So, really, what was Tohru's reason for wanting to talk to Kyo again?

_Maybe you just wanted to continue what you started outside_, a malicious little voice in the back of her head said. It sounded suspiciously like a certain French-speaking Sohma (three guesses as to who that it). Tohru was shocked that any part of her would even think that, but she knew the same part that said it knew it was true.

"Hello?" Kyo waved his hand in front of her spaced-out face. "You just wanted to _what?_"

Tohru flushed all the way down to her navel (Kyo did not miss this) and stuttered, "Oh, well, um, I wanted to apologize?" If indeed it was a statement, it sounded an awful lot like a question to Kyo.

He ducked his head, letting his bangs cover his eyes. "You don't have to apologize. _I_ should be apologizing to _you_. I mean, Izi-chan wouldn't have said anything if I hadn't pulled you down." He looked her straight in the eye (how did he always send chills down her spine when he did that?). "So, I'm sorry. You can yell now if you want."

She softened, and suddenly everything that seemed embarrassing and uncomfortable a minute ago and five minutes ago and last night and every single time they were nervous around each other just went _POOF!_ and they didn't matter anymore. So Tohru stood on her tippy toes and placed a sweet, chaste kiss on Kyo's tan cheek. They both blushed, but didn't say anything. This didn't seem to register with the Awkward Moment List.

"Thank you," Tohru whispered. She ran back downstairs before Kyo could mumble a coherent 'you're welcome,' or whatever you said to that.

"No, Tohru." Kyo slumped against the door once back in the haven of his room. He grinned moronically. "Thank _you_."

* * *

Tohru stepped into the living room and stopped short when Izi-chan stepped in from another room. She looked slightly guilty and there was a spread of light pink on her cheeks that looked suspiciously like a blush (Tohru convinced herself that it probably just too much sun; Izi-chan was ready to claim that). They stared at each other wordlessly like they were about to face off in a duel in an Old Western movie, both wanting to talk to the other but neither wanting to initiate the conversation. Finally Izi-chan gave: She looked away and mumbled something.

"What was that?" Tohru asked nervously.

"I--" Izi-chan looked back up with eyes that, in that light, looked almost teary. "Tohru, I'm sorry about what I said. It was stupid and immature, and really just bitchy and unnecessary if you think about it. I mean, I'm thinking about it right now and it's totally something you'd expect some asinine boy in junior high would say. So, like I said, I'm sorry, and I'm gonna go apologize to Kyo, too, if that does anything to redeem myself in you eyes. I know it won't to shit to how Kyo sees me, but I--" She paused to breathe. "I figure it's the right thing to do, or whatever." She peered at Tohru sheepishly. "So, are we cool?"

Tohru ran at Izi-chan hugged her tightly. "Of course, Izi-chan! I'm sorry that I yelled at you before, I don't know what I was thinking! It's just, I was really kind of angry that Kyo-kun was embarrassed ..."

"No, Tohru, _I'm_ sorry, I started the whole thing, and it was SO stupid of me!"

"Let's never fight again!"

"_Ohmygod, _not ever!"

Shigure and Yuki stood at the doorway and watched the emotional scene unfold. Shigure smirked, like he knew so much about the female species that this came as no surprise to him. Yuki tilted his head to the side and decided that he would _never, ever_ understand girls. Like, _ever_.

Izi-chan pulled apart from the hug and ushered Shigure and Yuki over. "Yuki, I also apologize to you. For what I said."

Yuki nodded. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. It was rude of me."

Tohru was confused. "What happened between you two?"

"Nothing, Honda-san," Yuki said pleasantly. "Now, Izi-chan, weren't you also going to say something to the ba--er, Kyo?"

"Yeah." Izi-chan squared her shoulders and sombered-up her expression comically. Tohru giggled. "Guess I'll have to swallow my pride _once again_ and do the 'sorry' shit. Jesus, I'm just on a roll today."

Ten minutes later, Izi-chan came back into the living room with Kyo a few steps behind her. He was no longer shirtless.

"What took you guys so long?" Shigure questioned.

Kyo glared and sat down next to Tohru. Izi-chan dramatically responded, "I _hope_ you're not implying what I _think_ you're implying, Gure-chan. I assure you we were only discussing things of the highest possible importance." Yuki shuddered at how similar to Ayame she sounded. "Now," she continued, "after all the drama today, I think you all deserve the surprise I'm about to surprise you all with. Are you ready for this? Are you?" She twitched her eyes at Kyo, who snickered. "_Are you?_" Apparently, they were, because she shouted out, "I'M TAKING YOU GUYS TO AN ONSEN FOR A WEEK!!"

Since the last onsen trip was so fun, Tohru gasped and beamed at her friend. Yuki looked a bit iffy, but decided he would put up with it. The last time was enjoyable enough. Shigure shrugged; he probably wouldn't go anyway, what with his 'deadlines.' Kyo suddenly felt sweaty and clammy. What if Izi-chan had chosen an onsen with mixed baths only?! What if he accidentally walked in on Tohru naked?! Jesus Christ, he could barely handle her in a bathing suit, how could he witness _that_ and still trust himself not to shove her up against a wall and make his way with her? Not that the only reason he loved her was because of her appearance, she was so kind and understanding and ... His thoughts were interrupted when Shigure asked him if he knew he was spacing out.

"Wuh, yeah, of course I do," he replied rather lamely. Izi-chan rolled her eyes and said nothing. She figured she owed him one comment from that afternoon.

"So, you guys should probably start packing soon. We're leaving tomorrow," Izi-chan said. "Oh, and I hope you don't mind that I didn't invite anyone else. It's just gonna be us." She grinned a Cheshire cat grin. "Isn't this summer gonna a whole lot of _fun?_" she said cheesily.

It would be a whole lot of _something_, that was for sure.

* * *

**sorry for the late update.** **if i'm doing the review ransom thing, i really need to hold up my end of the bargain. so yeah, i will get better!!**

also: I FINISHED MY MATH EXAMS TODAY!! woot woot, go me!! one less thing to think about (with any luck it will help with the update). except i still have two more days of testing ... whatev. once this week is over i'll TOTALLY improve, promise.

remember to review, my peeps!! ten reviews this time!!

Jax


	16. Trip to the Onsen, Part 1

**thank you to reviewers!! also, thank you very much to loritakitochan for the PM wishing me good luck on my exams! and SUPER EXTRA thanks to Love Inc., the lucky 100th reviewer of **_**Ties of Love and Friendship**_**!! (lol, when i was typing that i wrote 'friendshit.') come on down and accept this LIFE-SIZED CARDBOARD CUT OUT OF NONE OTHER THAN KYO SOHMA!! or, whoever your favorite character is (or you can have a cyberhug-and-cookie; it's up to you).**

**anyway, here's chapter 16.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba. I also don't own any of the songs that I took lyrics from later on (hee hee hee, read on). And furthermore, I **_**also**_** don't own _ANTM_ or Tyra Banks or _Project Runway_ any of their affiliates (I swear it will make sense).**

* * *

Chapter 16 - Trip to the Onsen, Part 1

Kyo grumbled as he stuffed the rest of his clothes into his suitcase. Izi-chan would order him to get his ass downstairs in about thirty seconds, and if he wasn't ready he'd have to face the wrath of her and that nezumi. Possibly Shigure, too, if _he_ was ready (Izi-chan had seen right through his 'book deadlines'). At least Tohru wouldn't yell at him. Kyo smirked; the thought of Tohru yelling at anybody was pretty funny.

"_Kyooooo!_ Get your ass down here or we'll leave without you!" Of course. Sometimes Izi-chan was awfully predictable.

Kyo opened his door and yelled back, "Gimme a second!" He continued stuffing clothes into the bag--hurriedly, in case Izi-chan felt like _bringing_ his ass down there--until it looked ready to burst. He didn't know why he was bringing so much for just a week, but he had an inkling that _someone_ might push him into one of the baths. Again, predictable.

_Knock knock._

Kyo turned to his open door and shouted, "I _said_ gimme a second!" Then he immediately regretted his volume and tone when he saw it was Tohru, not Izi-chan, who had knocked. "Ah, sorry. I thought you were someone else."

"It's fine." She smiled and stepped into the room. "Izi-chan sent me up here to check on you. But you look like you're ready, so ..." She looked at his practically-bursting-at-the-seams bag and said, "Um, how much did you pack?"

"Oh, you know, enough for a week, and a few extra things in these get dirty." He didn't mention Izi-chan planning to push him in a bath. Swinging the bag over his shoulder, he said too loudly, "So let's go already." He grabbed her hand as he sped out in a way he hoped looked casual and indifferent. They both flushed at the contact. Neither pulled away.

Surprisingly Izi-chan didn't comment on their interlocked hands when they finally got downstairs. All she said was, "Took you long enough! Hurry up and load your stuff into my trunk; it's gonna take a few hours to get there," and she flounced away with her nose in the air.

Although it was peculiar for her not to tease Kyo when it came to Tohru, he let it slide and tugged the blushing girl with him towards the car.

She didn't protest.

* * *

Four hours later, everyone was more than bored of sitting and driving. So when they got to the onsen at last, they teenagers practically leaped from the car and danced for joy, while the two 'responsible' adults looked on in contempt.

"Hey, youths of Japan!" called Izi-chan. "I'm not lugging your shit around all day. Come get your bags or go nude all week!"

Although it was an entertaining idea to some, they quickly scrambled to the Bug. They 'lugged their shit' up the small hill to the grand entrance of the onsen and were about to look for some sort of hostess when a loud, shrill "They're heeeeeeere!!" rang through the silent mountain air and a riot of blond hair swiftly came into view.

Momiji.

Kyo stepped in front of Tohru before she could be glomped by the younger boy. "What the hell are you doing here?!" he barked (Kyo, not Momiji). He glared menacingly at Izi-chan, who was once again completely unaffected: She admired her manicure with a look that said, _I'm sorry, but your measly problems are just so insipid that I can't seem to be bothered_. "What is he doing here? I thought you said you didn't invite anyone else?"

"Well," Momiji said, "Izi-chan said that she was taking you guys here 'cause of a surprise she was planning--she wouldn't tell me what--and that we should all come stay here too, but we have to act like we didn't know you all were coming too." He grinned in his boyish fashion, then frowned and pursed his lips. "Oh, but I guess I just ruined the surprise, didn't I, Izi-chan?"

She sighed and held her hands up in an _okay-ya-got-me_ way. "Miji-chan," she said sweetly, "remember that talk we had about keeping certain truths from people, and how it's not the same as lying so it's okay to do?" Momiji nodded. "Welllll ... this is kinda one of those times."

"Why are you telling him things like that?" Yuki said, shocked. "It's completely _not_ okay to hold the truth from people. Where on earth did you acquire such loose morals, Izi-chan?"

"Funny, people have been asking me the same thing since I was fifteen." She smirked. "Not all of us can be the shining pillar of morality that you are, Yuki darling." A loud snort came from Kyo's direction, followed by a loud slapping sound. "Anyway, it was supposed to be part of the whole surprise, and I wasn't going to tell you, but ..." She shrugged. "I just thought it would be more fun if the whole gang were enjoying this with us. Don't you think, _Tohru-chan_?" she added, appealing to the heart of the the group.

Before sweet little Tohru could get in three words about how fun that would be, Izi-chan shrieked, "GREAT! Male cousin-folk, you can grab the bags!" and pulled the younger girl inside with her. It seemed like more and more frequently Tohru was being pulled in whatever direction Izi-chan was shrieking off to in order to get a rise out of people. Then she realized what an odd thing it was to come to that realization.

Not even Izi-chan could have guessed she'd be coming to realizations a million times more odd in the near future.

* * *

It turned out that by 'we all,' Momiji had literally meant _all_. Everyone that was at the Come As You Aren't party, including Uotani and Hanajima, plus Kisa, Hiro, and Kazuma, was waiting for the five to arrive at the onsen that Izi-chan had booked entirely for a whole week so that they could all enjoy a nice group soak in the--thankfully not mixed (for now)--hot spring baths.

"Onee-chan!" Kisa squealed. "Let's go take a bath!"

"Okay!" They hugged tightly before scurrying off to change.

Hatori glanced out the window at his cousins trudging up with the bags and quirked an eyebrow at Izi-chan. "Very nice."

"I thought so," she chirped.

"Do you ever carry your own load?" He frowned at her like she was a naughty younger sister (which she sort of was).

She just smirked knowingly. "You of all people should know how hard I'm working to help those two ... dammit, what's a good way to describe romantically inept people?" She scratched her head and pouted.

"How about romantically inept?" he asked dryly.

"Now _that's_," she poked his chest playfully, "the Ha'ri I know. Full of satirical humor and brotherly mocking." She grinned up him. "So, you still gonna help?"

He allowed himself to crack a small smile too. "I can't think of anything I'd rather do."

* * *

"Bon-zaaaaaaaaaaai!!" Momiji screeched as he canon-balled into the male side of the spring. Kyo scowled at the younger boy but said nothing, having been told by Hatori and Kazuma earlier to please put up with Momiji or else (ditto with Hiro). Yuki cringed when what seemed like half the water was splashed onto the pretty stone floor.

Meanwhile, the girls were already sitting gracefully in the ladies' spring, chatting about whatever came to mind. Nobody canon-balled.

"Thank you again for inviting us here, Izi-chan!" Tohru trilled. Kisa nodded as if to say, _Me too_.

"Yeah, this place is great," Uotani said, stretching her arms up over head and dripping water onto Hanajima's nose in the process. The latter frowned and wiped it off.

"It's no problem," said Izi-chan. "I enjoy treating you guys. Besides, it's my summer vacation too, right? This is for me as much as it is for you, if not more. It's probably more for me, actually."

"You know," a voice called from over the short wall that divided the male and female springs, "statements like that are what make people think you're a bitch."

Izi-chan's eyes lit up with the promise of an argument. "Was that _you_, Koko-chan?"

"_No_, it was Haru," yelled Kyo.

"That's a filthy lie, Kyo," is what came from Haru (presumably). "You said it and you know it."

"I so did not! You--"

"Both of you shut up," Hatori grumbled. "This is _supposed_ to be relaxing."

"Oh, Ha'ri, darling, do you know what would be _super_ relaxing right now?" Izi-chan cooed. "Some music!"

Hesitantly, Hatori said, "That would actually be nice."

Izi-chan reached for a one of the barely-long-enough-to-cover-your-ass towels and wrapped it around herself. She climbed onto the short separating wall. "Any requests?" she said, striking a pose.

Immediately, the men started squawking around, grabbing their own towels and flushing from more than the steam from the bath. Izi-chan scoffed, "Oh, please. It's not like I haven't seen you all butt-naked before."

Uotani's and Hanajima's eyebrows shot up at this. "You know," Izi-chan continued without skipping a beat, "from when I'd babysit you guys when you were little kids, and I saw Shigure, Ayame, and Hatori in their birthday suits tons of times when we were growing up."

Good ol' Izi-chan. She could bullshit with the best of them.

Or not. "What about Kyo-kun's shishou?" Hanajima asked calmly.

The Zodiac members, Tohru, and Kazuma froze in their hot water. _Ruh-roh_, they thought. Busted.

But Izi-chan was still not thrown. "I stayed at his house for a couple months when I was a teenager. You always see your roomies naked at some point or another," she snapped. Annoyed, she declared she was going to sing if it killed her, so they shouldn't bother protesting and did anyone have a particular song they'd like to dedicate to anyone? (She smirked at Kyo when she said this; he glared and blushed.)

"No?" she said. "No wishes?" She smiled widely. "Then I guess I'll choose!" Shimmying her shoulders, she sang, "_I'm not gonna write you a love soo-oong, 'cause you asked for it, 'cause you need one ..._"

"Next!" Hiro yelled (how had he kept quiet that whole time?).

Izi-chan stuck her tongue out at him ("Very mature!"), but changed to a different song and sang, "_Love me, love me, say that you love me--_"

"Booooo!"

"--_fool me, fool me, go on and fool me ..._" Dramatically doe-eyed, she finished with "_I can't care 'bout an-y-thing, but youuuuuuuu!_"

"My ears!" someone shouted (they were shushed by someone else).

"Izi-chan, get down!" Hatori said. "You'll fall!"

"I'm not gonna fall!" She shimmied in his direction. "_You, have, STO-len, my-y, HEART!_" she sang, slightly out of her vocal range (after all, it was made for a man). She crouched down, held her hands out to both sides of the onsen and said, completely stony-faced, "You have stolen my heart, Tohru. You really have." Both of them burst out laughing (Kyo struggled not to strangle his cousin).

"Sing '_SexyBack_!'" giggled Momiji. (a/n: i found the most hilarious 'sexyback' AMV starring ayame and shigure on YouTube. seriously, it was so appropriate for them that i nearly pissed my pants.)

"_I'm bringing sexy back, YEAH! And all the boys don't know how to act, YEAH!_" she sang, starting to throw some dance steps in. "_Dirty baaaaabe, UH HUH! You see these shackles baby I'm yo' slaaaaaaave, UH HUH! I'll let you whip me if I misbehaaaaaaaaave, UH HUH! It's just that now one makes me feel this waaaaaaaaaay, UH HU--_!"

Before she continue her charming song, Izi-chan danced a little too recklessly and lost her footing. She waved her arms wildly and her eyes looked like huge green saucers as Tohru and Kisa shrieked. She shrieked a bit herself (though she'd later deny anything similar to a 'helpless damsel cry,' as she put it, ever came out of her mouth) and she landed face-first in the mens' bath.

Less than a second later, she burst from the water, completely and thoroughly soaked. Her hair, which had previously been tied loosely atop her head, was plastered to her face and back, at least two shades darker than before; her short towel would've fallen off her completely if it hadn't been for her iron-grin on the loose not she'd tied earlier; most memorable was her face: Usually porcelain pale with darling little rosebuds for cheeks, at that moment it was flushed bright pink, and her cousins suspected it was from more than the hot spring water.

"UH, SORRY 'SCUSE ME BYE!" she screeched before wading out as fast as possible and then sprinting to the nearest empty room.

What a way to kick off the trip.

* * *

"Really, Izi-chan." Hatori frowned as he inspected his cousin for any bumps or bruises. "You could've cracked your skull open or broken your neck. Why do you do these things?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I _could've_ gotten hurt, but I _didn't_. I'm not a child anymore, Ha'ri."

"You sure act like one." This came from Shigure, who stood at the doorway, freshly donned in an onsen robe. "And I know I really shouldn't be talking, but when you do things like that you make us think you're going back to how you were, after Nabiko."

"Who's Nabiko?" Tohru asked, popping into the room to check on her friend. "Is that a friend of yours?"

Instantly, Izi-chan jumped up and said, "He's nobody. And look--I'm cured! I'm sane now!" Then before Shigure or Hatori could tell her to sit back down, the two girls were running off to their room in search of chillitude.

"So, who _is_ Nabiko?" Tohru asked again once they reached the relative privacy of the humongous room all the girls would be crashing in for the duration of the trip.

Her calm response, "I told you, he's nobody, just someone I used to know," was betrayed by the way her mouth twisted into something ugly and her eyes seemed to almost glower. She blew a raspberry suddenly and shouted, "_Ohmygod!_ We're getting totally depressing. Let's go try to convince people I have amnesia!"

Tohru laughed. Whatever was bothering her about this Nabiko person didn't seem to be that important (or Izi-chan was just a good actress). They adopted sad and confused expressions and limped out to the main room where everyone was enjoying a mellow tea.

* * *

After five minutes of no luck on the amnesia front, Izi-chan went back to the room and grabbed her camera. She decided on behalf of everyone that they would now play Japan's Next Top Model (based off of an American reality show, she explained) and that she would be the photographer _and_ head judge ("The Japanese Tyra!"). The Mabudachi Trio--minus Ayame, who just couldn't pass up a chance to be a model--would be her accompanying judges.

Kyo refused, of course. He said in no way would he do something as girly as modeling. Izi-chan pointed out that Haru was already posing fiercely on top of the table ("You go, guy!") and that if he was so nervous maybe he could use a massage? She then directed a joint photo shoot starring Kyo lying down and Tohru as his masseuse (this, naturally, just made him more embarrassed, but since Tohru was into it, he put up with it and was even a little model-esque).

Meanwhile, every time she took a picture, Izi-chan would yell out things like, "Fierce! That's it! Give it to me! That's gorgeous! Yes! Now you're in pain, oh, yes, you're so tragic, you're in such pain, _yes!_ That's perfect!" She'd also throw in a few French tidbits that they weren't entirely sure were compliments.

Once they were done hamming things up, Izi-chan became somber and showed everyone their "best" shots: Haru, caught between poses, with his eyes half closed and tongue half out in a way that made him look a bit simple; Uotani, mouth wide open, hair flying out in all directions from her position on her back; Ayame, his face the mirror of the saddest act you ever did see, with his eyes literally _gleaming with tears_ ("Now _that's_ dedication!"). Everyone else looked about as ridiculous.

It was decided, after the most painful and tear-jerking judging ever, that Hiro just did not have the drive to be in this competition, and that Hanajima--the self-proclaimed "diva" of the bunch--would still be in the running towards becoming Japan's. Next. Top. Model.

Auf Wiedersehen. Kiss kiss. (Izi-chan apparently did not realize-slash-care that that was from a completely different show.)

* * *

**yeah, that last part was completely on a whim. i really just wanted some random stupidity to throw in. actually, pretty much every word i write is on a whim, because if you were to listen to me when i write you'd here this: **_**type type type**_ **OH! how about this! **_**type type type**_ **AH! and what if i do this! **_**type type type**_ **OOH! and then this! (rinse and repeat until chapter is finished ABOUT 26 DECADES LATER.)**

**on that note,** **I'M SO SORRY about the mega-late update. i'm such a slowmo it isn't even funny. and i know this isn't much of an excuse, but my friend just introduced me to **_**Ranma 1/2,**_ **and now i'm totally hooked and am watching the anime on YouTube every chance i get. so blame my friend.**

**TELL ME HONESTLY: too much izi? i'll tone it down if you want, cuz i know that most people don't have much patience for overbearing OCs (like me, for instance. i'm a filthy hypocrite).**

**i think this might be the longest chapter to boot (or maybe it isn't, i don't usually check the old chapters). and this is only the first part of the onsen trip. i plan on putting much more fluff in the coming chapters (no pun OR lemon intended). review ransom: NINE REVIEWS, cuz i'm so bad about keeping up my end of the deal. that's like keeping** **someone hostage and then forgetting the time of the money exchange -.- yeah, i'm sort of a dope.**

**REVIEW!! please.**

**Jax  
**


	17. Trip to the Onsen, Part 2

**thank you to reviewers. at the beginning of the chapter, i think i should point out that it's the night of the first day, which is why kisa and hiro go to bed. it's not like 5 in the afternoon and they're taking a nap or whatever.**

here's chapter 17 (i seriously cannot fathom that you guys have let me write this to a seventeenth chapter).

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.**

* * *

Chapter 17 - Trip to the Onsen, Part 2 (or, How I Learned to Play Strip Bullshit)

"Oh, HELL YES!!" The shouts could be heard from practically the onsen entrance. "FUCK YES!!"

"WE JUST THRASHED ALL YOUR ASSES!!" A different set of shouts joined the first, and everyone in the room with the two voices rolled their eyes.

Kyo in particular yelled back, "Yeah, yeah! You guys won, like, _one_ hand."

Of course: They were playing cards. In _pairs_. Which meant the two most competitive females of the group--Uotani and Izi-chan--automatically joined forces and were now gloating over their victory.

"Shut up Kyon!" Uotani stuck her tongue out at him and continued flexing her muscles with Izi-chan. "You're just jealous 'cause you're not a stud like us."

"Yeah, Kyon," Izi-chan chimed in. "Just be glad we're not playing for money, otherwise you'd be _cleaned out_. Am I right?!" she added and received a high five from Uotani, then went around the circle holding her hand up top for everyone to high five.

"Izi-chan, my God," Ayame chortled, "you're bouncing off the walls. What are you _on_?"

"LIFE, my good friend, I am high on LIFE!" She plopped down onto his lap and kissed his cheek. "And I found the onsen's stock of really aged booze. Try some! Everybody, try some!"

Hiro scowled and barked, "What the heck are you thinking? Kisa and I are in _middle school,_ you idiot. We can't drink, and even if we could I doubt we would want to, I mean it'll ruin out livers. And by the way, Izi-chan, pretty much every time I see you you're drinking some kind of alcohol. Are you sure you're not an alcoholic? Because if you are, you're being a terrible role model to us kids. Do you want us to--"

"Hiro." Izi-chan turned to the young boy with a look that could kill. "Do you remember what I said I'd do if you lectured me one more time? Do you?" Her eyes smirked. "I said that if you lectured me one more time, I'd tell everybody, including Kisa, that you--"

"Okay!" he said loudly. "I'm stopping! So don't tell anyone!"

"Good. Now shut up before I box your ears in." She calmly sipped her glass of red wine. "Oh," she simpered, "and FYI, Hiro-chan, I wasn't offering you or Kisa anything with the vaguest traces of liquor in it. I'm offended that you would ever suggest I was. And just because I happen to enjoy a good cocktail doesn't make me an alcoholic. Get your facts straight before you start spewing the haterade in my face, otherwise you end up looking like a complete ass. So thanks so much for killing my buzz because you love the sound of your own voice." Then she took another calm sip of her wine.

The room was eerily quiet after the two best debaters most of them had ever known butted heads. A snide comment about passing the bitch baton to a younger generation was about to be made when Shigure mumbled, in his true Shigure fashion, "You just got _pwned_."

It was such an incredibly stupid thing to say, that nobody, including Hiro and Izi-chan, could help laughing so loudly they thought they'd break the windows.

After a good couple of minutes of gut-busting hysterics, the troops simmered down long enough for Hatori to notice the sleep lingering in Kisa and Hiro's eyes, so he promptly sent both off to bed, in the care of Kazuma. It had been a long day for all of them, after all.

The minute the three were out of the room, Izi-chan turned to the rest of the group with and evil glint in her eyes and said, "Now the real fun begins." She brought her hands out from behind her back to reveal they each held a number of wine glasses. She sauntered out of the room and returned shortly with another aged bottle of red. "I must insist that you all sample this. It's really delicious," she said.

Immediately, Kyo and Tohru pushed their glasses away, afraid of a repeat of what happened the last time they indulged in the hard stuff. In an act that seemed to radiate déjà vu, Izi-chan asked loudly, "Hey, why aren't you guys gonna drink?" (a/n: if that _does_ seem like déjà vu to you, it's probably because this situation already happened in chapter 13, except kagura came in and busted up the party. she won't show up this time, promise.)

Before either of them could stutter out an excuse, Izi-chan said, as loudly as before, "_Ooooh_, I get it. 'Cause last time you guys drank you both got totally plastered and practically started doing it right on the dance floor."

Everyone was pretty much shocked. The Kiss was never talked about; it was like everyone had made a silent pact not to ever mention it again, for fear it really _would_ split apart their friendships. And that was scarier than anything they could've imagined, Zodiac Curse included.

She continued. "'Sokay, though. I'll make sure you guys don't drink as much as before, 'cause I've barely had any wine at all." Her lie was scoffed, of course, and Hatori attempted to gently pry the wine glass out of her hand. "This'll keep your attention away from the booze: Let's play Strip Bullshit!"

Yuki groaned, Shigure and Ayame laughed, and Ritsu quietly excused himself from the table. (a/n: i bet you forgot he was even there, huh?) Tohru, in all her naiveté, asked what Strip Bullshit was (although of course she didn't actually say 'bullshit').

"Well, Tohru, my princess, do you know of the card game Bullshit?" Tohru shook her head. "It's basically a test of your skills of deception. You have to put down a certain card, and if you don't have that card, you lie. Now, if someone suspects you're lying, they say 'Bullshit'--hence, the name. And if indeed you _are_ lying, you have to take the entire pile of cards, no matter how big or small it may be. However, if the person who said 'Bullshit' turns out to be _wrong_, then _they_ have to take the entire pile. Whoever loses all their cards first is the winner.

"Now, in high school Shigure and I were often very bored and ... I guess you might say misbehaving. So we decided to put a little spin on the original game. Here's where the 'strip' part comes in: We made up that if you get called out on your bullshit, you have a choice between taking the card pile or removing a piece of clothing to put into the pile. This was especially fun because Shigure and I both have impeccable bullshit radars. Which, of course, only made the game that much more interesting." She finished her speech and grinned impishly. "So, you wanna play?"

This, it seemed, was not a question, because Izi-chan quickly dealt the cards to everyone sitting at the table. (At this point: Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, the Mabudachi Trio, Uotani, Hanajima, Haru, Momiji, and herself) Hurriedly, she slapped down two cards and yelled, "Two aces!" She turned to Tohru and Kyo, and said, "You two play together. Tohru's head will explode if she's forced to say 'bullshit.'" Again, this wasn't a question or request. Tohru would have objected if she didn't strongly agree with Izi-chan (which she did). So she scooted closer to Kyo and put her cards in the middle of the table for Izi-chan to re-deal to everyone.

The game was peaceful for about two or three minutes before Momiji said, "Three kings." Hanjima looked right at him and softly shook her head. It was clear what she meant: Take it all or take it off.

Considering how big the pile had gotten by then, it shouldn't have come as a surprise when sweet little Momiji shed his ruffled mauve shirt (nobody except Shigure had changed from their street clothes to the onsen robes offered yet) and placed it neatly in the middle of the table. Izi-chan hooted and cheered, Uotani and Tohru gaped, most of Momiji's male cousins smirked.

Momiji himself was only a bit uncomfortable. "What?" he squeaked, reminding them who, exactly, was currently topless. He looked to Tohru and Kyo and resumed his squeaking. "It's you guys' turn. You're on aces."

_Oh yeah_, they thought. Glancing at their shared hand of cards, they sweatdropped when they saw no aces. Oh well. It was called 'bullshit' for a reason. "One ace," Kyo said, keeping his poker face (or, Strip Bullshit face, to be more accurate) firmly in place. Tohru did her best not to look guilty--after all, if her mother had taught her anything it was not to lie.

But it was all for naught: "That's total bullshit!" Izi-chan laughed. "Ye gods, Tohru looks like she swallowed a bad lemon." (a/n: or maybe she read a bad one?)

Tohru looked at Kyo. Kyo looked at Tohru. Izi-chan smirked. She said, "The rule is that since there's two of you, and it's your first time being called out, you both have to take something off."

Kyo glared daggers at her. "You just made that up now."

"Swear I didn't." She looked at Shigure for backup.

"She didn't," he said. "Now, off with the clothes."

It felt like a whole awkward hour went by before Tohru reached for the hem of her tank top and pulled it up, revealing a taut stomach and--oh God, Kyo's jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw her lacy, fire engine red bra. (Lacy? Red? This is _Tohru's_ underwear? Kyo, of course, didn't know about the Victoria's Secret expedition back on the first day Izi-chan showed up.) He tried to remind himself that he'd about as much skin when she was in a bikini, but of course it was a completely different thing. This was _lingerie_, not a simple bathing suit.

"Hey Kyo?" He was snapped out of his thoughts at Shigure's simpering. "You can stop ogling Tohru-kun's breasts now. It's your turn to take off your clothes." It was amazing how calmly he said all that, as if he was telling his cousin to stop playing with his food and eat it already.

"I-I wasn't ogling anything, so shut up, you _kuso inu!_" Kyo sputtered, as he hastily threw off his shirt. It landed on Shigure's smirking face (by accident, he swore).

Twenty minutes later, everyone in the circle had at least one piece of clothing on the pile. Izi-chan and Hanajima, incidentally, had both worn numerous bangles and kept on shooting each other looks that said, _Aren't we clever?_ Everyone could see Yuki's blush seep down from his face, almost down into the Unknown of below his boxers (yes, he had both his shirt _and_ pants off). The tag team of Kyo and Tohru were both stripped down to only their skivvies (and, in Tohru's case, her bra) and had what seemed like the Worst Hand of Cards Ever. Neither wanted to entertain the idea that one or both of them would end up completely naked, but both of them were prepared to take that plunge for the other.

As predicted, they were called out on their bullshit--it wasn't their fault that they had no fives. Izi-chan took an unhealthy glee after the final "Bullshit" was uttered. "What's it gonna be?" she cackled. "Tits or schlong?"

"Did you really just say 'schlong'?" Haru said, chuckling incredulously.

"Yes, as opposed to a 'schlort' or a 'schledium.'" She turned to the blushing non-couple. "Anyway, hurry up and one of you strip."

Kyo took a deep breath. _Well,_ he thought, _it's not like most of the people here haven't seen me naked before. Here goes nothing _...

"Okay, the bra's coming off," said a bright red Tohru, reaching for the hooks behind her back.

Frantically, Kyo yelled, "No, it's okay, Tohru, really! I'll go, you don't have to!"

She looked at him with determination. "Kyo-kun," she said, "if you take anything else off you'll be completely naked. I'll, at least, have my underwear on. I have to do this."

"This is all very touching," Ayame interrupted, a bit tipsy, "but is someone getting naked or not?"

Tohru looked at Kyo again meaningfully. He jolted a little, but finally got it. Struggling not to smile, he nodded at her. Tohru nodded back. Sighing, she slowly reached her arms back and--

"HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??" Kyo screamed and pointed to something behind everybody. When all nine heads whipped around to see 'what the fuck' it was, Kyo grabbed the pile of clothes and Tohru's hand, and they sprinted the hell out of there.

Izi-chan was the first to realize their escape. "Hey! They just gypped us!"

Shigure pouted. "No fair," he said. "I was really excited about seeing Tohru-kun's--"

"Say another word and I'll make you wish you were never born," Uotani growled, cracking her knuckles. Hanajima glared menacingly.

"Understood," he whimpered.

"Dammit," Izi-chan said. "I'm kinda impressed! I wonder who came up with that?"

* * *

"O-oh, my God!" Kyo laughed, clutching his stomach as he laughed at what they'd just done. "I-I can't believe they fell for that!"

"I know!" Tohru squawked. She was doubled over, gripping the wall for support. "They--they all turned around! It was perfect!"

Kyo sobered up a little and looked at her. "_You_ were perfect. Who would've thought Tohru Honda had it in her to fool everyone with a striptease?"

"Oh, please. You did most of the work." She grinned and adopted a mock-shocked, wide-eyed expression, pointing to the wall behind Kyo. "_What is that?!_"

"Here." He held up her clothes, still snickering. "I do believe you've deserved these, miladay."

"Why, thank you, milord," she said. "Or are you a knight?"

For some reason, it hit Tohru only then that she and Kyo were alone. In just their underwear. And, to put the cherry on the whole sexual tension cake, they had a known history of ... canoodling. (a/n: i'm sorry, i couldn't think of a better word. but while i'm on the subject, i wonder what sexual tension cake with a cherry on top tastes like? probably not that good.)

"Actually," Kyo said softly, grinning even softer, "I'm the court jester." His fingers brushed hers when he handed her her blouse. Electricity shot up both their arms, dizzying Tohru enough that she felt her knees give out. But, as always, Kyo was there to catch her.

She kept her hands placed firmly on his (naked) chest, ensuring that there would be no transformation: Talk about a mood killer. His arms were snaked around her small waist keeping her as close as possible without the Cat showing up. Tohru's eyes bored into Kyo, and his into hers.

"That's not true," she whispered. "You're a prince." She brought one hand up to touch is cheek; this nearly sent him over the river and through to woods. He wanted so badly to kiss her, to kiss her until both their mouths fell off, to do so much more than kiss ...

"Kyo-kun ..." she murmured, leaning her face into his, slowly, slowly, _too slowly_--! Kyo tilted his own head down to meet her shorter one, but it still wasn't close enough, dammit!

Eyes closed and skin met skin. Their lips brushed ...

* * *

**HA HA HA. hate me much? XD i'm such a shit.**

okay, i'm thinking i put in too many "..." (i know the real word for that but i'm not sure how to spell **it. god, and i call myself an authoress). also, too many A/Ns. i find it hard to say anything about my writing other than how much it sucks.**

the review ransom is 10 this time, although i know i'm gonna get a bunch that say something along the lines of, "WHAT HAPPENS??" or maybe i'm just flattering myself (is that possible?).

and, to wrap things up, the question remains: what does sexual tension cake with a cherry on top taste like? the world is full of mysteries ... (again with the "..." !)

Jax


	18. Trip to the Onsen, Part 3

**thank you to reviewers. here's chapter 18 (18 WHOLE CHAPTERS!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??), complete with the fluff you've all been asking for (and don't deny it, half of you reviewers have been hounding me for the fluffy stuff). i'm just sorry the uber-fluff hasn't come any earlier. so yeah, OOC in this chapter (since it IS fluffy/limey scenes).**

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket. I also don't own the song _**A Dream Is a Wish You Heart Makes**_** (that of which is quoted later in the chapter). Oh, and I kind of rip of **_**A Great and Terrible Beauty**_** in one part, so I guess I don't own that either.**

* * *

Chapter 18 - Trip to the Onsen, Part 3, (or Oops, You Did It Again!)

The moment their lips brushed a fire ignited through both their bodies. Tohru pushed more forcefully on Kyo's lips, encouraging him bring his hands up to run through her hair. God, her hair was so soft. Tohru would've mirrored the act if her hands weren't moving downward, downward, downward, sliding over his carved chest to rest on his admittedly lean hips; would it be too forward to go any lower? Oh, who cared--she moved a hand around and lower still to swipe against his _dierrière_, and smiled against his lips when she felt a slight tremor under where she touched. This was so unlike her, but since they both enjoyed it so much...

Shocked--but utterly pleased--by Tohru's actions, Kyo compensated by lowering his mouth from where it lingered on her own, to dot a series of kisses along her jawline, and then down to her neck. Tohru shivered. Against her soft flesh, he murmured, "You're so beautiful... so perfect... God, you're flawless."

With all the movement, Tohru had been backed up against the same wall she'd been clinging to earlier. Once again, the wall provided support when she felt she might collapse; of course, if she happened to land on the ground this time, it might not be a bad thing if Kyo went down with her. (Hmmm, dirty thoughts that sounded much dirtier than they were supposed to... _Niiiice_.)

Tohru gasped when she felt Kyo's hand meet her breast and his lips traveled to the uncovered areas of her chest. She knew she probably should've told him to stop, but the sensations he sent through her were just too euphoric for her to even consider halting the situation. For about the hundredth she was reminded they were only garbed in their undies.

Deciding it was too much, Tohru roughly pulled Kyo's head up to reunite with her own, tongues clashing. Kyo almost thought he was dreaming when he heard a small, high-pitched moan escape from the back of her throat. _Holy shit,_ he thought hazily. _What if I _am _dreaming?_

If he was, this would be the perfect time to tell her how much he truly cared about her. He gently dislodged his mouth from Tohru's and brought his hands out her hair to cup her face lovingly. As they struggled to catch their breaths, Kyo mustered up every bit of his courage. "T-Tohru," he stuttered softly, "I need to tell you something really important..."

"Yes?"

"I--" Kyo swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "This is really hard for me to say. It's just... Well, since you moved in with us, um..." He sighed and took his hands away from her face. "Jesus, I'm sorry. I totally ruined this completely wonderful moment, and--"

"Kyo-kun." He turned to see Tohru's hundred-watt smile, only this time it didn't look as innocently friendly as it usually did. What was that Kyo saw shining in her eyes? "Kyo-kun, it's okay. Whatever it is you have to say, I want you to know that you don't have to tell me until you're ready." She lifted her hands to stroke his face, almost the same gesture he'd done with her earlier. "And until then..." The rest of her sentence was muffled by Kyo's tongue.

_Well,_ he thought contently, _I guess she's right. I'll tell her I love her when I'm ready. I _will_._

Kyo grinned into the kiss, returning one hand to her still-bare waist (should they have put their clothes back on when they stopped? Whatever, they definitely weren't going to be pausing again anytime soon), and the other to caress her breast, which was unfortunately still trapped in its lacy red encasement. He slowly walked the hand that rested on her waist behind her back to the hooks that would open up a treasure chest (ha, in more ways than one); would Tohru slap his hand away if he tried that? Either way, that was a risk he was more than willing to take.

Soon Tohru's bra was halfway unhooked--she hadn't done anything to show displeasure--and Kyo was kissing her neck again. He had the final hook and then--

"_Ohmygod!_"

"Holy fucking SHIT FUCK!"

"My eyes!"

"Get the hell _off of her!_"

Kyo and Tohru immediately sprang apart at the sounds of their friends' voices.

_Oh no_.

"What the hell were you _doing_ to her?!" Yuki seethed, completely enraged to see the _baka neko_ forcing himself upon poor Honda-san. That filthy, disgusting Cat. Kyo probably planned their whole Strip Bullshit escape just so he could corner the defenseless girl. At least, that's what it looked like to him.

_Oh, God no_.

"Holy shit shit shit shit SHIT." Uotani was in shock after witnessing her Sweet Little Tohru expressing some not-so-sweet-an'-little--some might say _ADULT_--characteristics. Was it even possible that the girl sucking face and being groped was even a _likeness_ of the same Tohru Honda that fainted during a particularly graphic Sex Ed. class in middle school?

_Oh, God no, this cannot be happening_.

"Uh, Yuki," Shigure commented, trying to keep his face straight and serious, "I think it's kind of obvious what he was doing to her. And, um, what she was reciprocating." He snorted briefly. "M-maybe we should let them get back to _biz-ness!_" The laughter ran freely.

_Oh, God no, this cannot be happening, because this whole thing is a dream. Remember?_

That's right! Kyo's brain calmly told him not to start yelling, because soon they would leave, he could be alone with Tohru again, he'd finally be able to tell her how he felt, and POOF! they'd get married because _of course_ Tohru felt the same way. This was a dream, after all, and as the song goes: _A dream is a wish your heart makes._ Also, the curse would magically lift and maybe some penguins would show up. Penguins were cool.

"Kyo." Huh? Why was Izi-chan in his dream? And for that matter, why was everyone still in the room? Shouldn't they have left by now? "Kyo, aren't you going to say anything? Half your family just walked in on you making out with one of your closest friends and roomie, _again._ Doesn't that make you want to yell and run out of the room as per usual? Kyo, your eyes are closed. Won't you look at this mess?"

Indeed, Kyo didn't realize that he'd closed his eyes--had he opened them at all from when he was kissing Tohru? He snapped them open and saw the so-called "mess," as Izi-chan had put it rather cynically. Yuki looked ready to rip his balls off (ouch); Shigure was practically rolling on the floor laughing his ass off (rotflmao); Uotani was wide-eyed and completely stiff from shock. Kyo expected that if he walked over and tapped her sideways, she'd fall over. The rest of the gang was trying to sneak a peek at the nightmare from the hallway. Then there was Izi-chan, standing haughtily with her arms crossed over her chest and smirking with all she had, and Kyo became slightly annoyed--whose team was she on, anyway?

Hatori pushed his way through the brocade of Shigure, Yuki, Uotani, and Izi-chan to share his judgments on the whole thing. "Well, haven't we been busy," he remarked dryly. "Kyo, Honda-kun, put your clothes on and give us ours. I'm afraid the party's over for tonight."

Oh. Em. Gee. Kyo didn't think to consider how Tohru must've been feeling through this whole ordeal. He turned sharply to her and felt guilty as all hell when he saw her face the color of a stop sign and STILL in only her underwear. This time, however, her bra was practically hanging off her body (more guilt on Kyo's part) and she was standing in front of all her friends. And he couldn't even help her fix the hanging-off-the-body bra, because then he'd probably just want to help her take it off again (MORE guilt, and now some lust, too). Perhaps it was just the dim "mood" lighting in there, but Kyo was sure he saw tears of embarrassment dotting the eyes of the girl he loved so much.

This wasn't a dream.

Judging by the looks of contempt from the relatives and friends standing at the doorway, he'd just said that out loud.

"No, Kyo," Izi-chan commented, still smirking, "it's not. It's really not."

A muffled sob came from Tohru, causing everyone to look at her. Yet all they saw was a flash of brown, red, and pale white as she bolted from the room. Uotani, Hanajima, and several others ran after her, while Yuki hung back an extra beat longer to glare at Kyo in a way he knew meant, _After we make sure she's okay, I'm going to slay you myself_. Soon the only people left in the room were a very dumbfounded Kyo and Izi-chan, who--you guessed it--was still smirking. She walked over to the pile of clothes Kyo and Tohru had nabbed earlier--it seemed like a million years ago to Kyo that they were playing cards--and picked it up, slowly changing her direction and walking back to the door. Just before she left, she turned her head to her orange-headed cousin.

"Ready to tell her yet?"

And then she was gone.

* * *

"It's okay, sweetie, it'll be okay," Uotani murmured to her best friend, who currently had her head in the toilet and was violently vomiting. "Don't worry, Tohru, we'll kill Kyo for doing this to you."

Tohru lifted her head--the vomit was currently on hiatus--and gave Uotani a terrified look. She opened her mouth to protest the killing of anyone, especially Kyo, but decided better of it when she felt a new round of cookies ready to be tossed.

Luckily Hanajima was also in the bathroom, holding Tohru's hair back and also murmuring her comforts to the girl, and voiced what Tohru could not. "Arisa, I don't think that's what Tohru-kun wants."

"_Of course_ she doesn't want it!" Uotani roared. "Tohru's way too nice to wish death on _anyone_, even sick degenerates like Kyo. The point is he needs to be punished for what he did to Tohru, and since she won't ask for it herself we'll just have to do it ourselves, as soon as possible."

Hanajima shook her head as Tohru cried louder and harder into her porcelain throne. "No, Arisa, I mean she doesn't want Kyo-kun to be killed because she doesn't think what he did was wrong. I think she wanted it as much as he did, if not more."

Tohru whimpered from the toilet.

Hanajima continued. "Which is not to say that they both would have wanted what was, in all likelihood, coming next, or that they were ready for it--"

"Believe me, Saki, they both wanted what was coming next." Hanajima and Uotani looked to the doorway where Izi-chan was leaning against with her arms crossed over her chest and her now-customary smirk. "And they probably would've gone all the way even if they weren't ready."

"And what makes you think that?" Uotani asked angrily. "Tohru's got fucking _fantastic_ willpower."

Another smirk. "Because, Blondie, body parts often speak louder than any thought possibly could. It's all a matter of hormones and what you desire most," her fingers twitched like she really wanted a cigarette, "even if you don't want to admit it."

Tohru sniffled from the toilet.

"Anyway," Izi-chan sighed, walking the short distance to Tohru and crouching down next her, "you guys should go get your clothes. I'll stay with her."

Warily, suspiciously, almost distrustfully, the two got up and left the room, shutting the door quietly after them.

Izi-chan took a hold of Tohru long hair and held it back while the younger girl cried into the can and waited for the terrible feeling in her to pass. This was most likely just some food poisoning or stomach flu with very, _very_ bad timing. Every logical part of Tohru's brain told her it had nothing to do with what happened--not to mention what _almost_ happened--with Kyo. However, the itsybitsy-teenyweeny romantic part, the part that had a distinct likeness to Izi-chan's voice, whispered that this was her heart's way of telling her something important.

So what was it?

"Looks like you're making a habit of throwing up after kissing people," Izi-chan joked. "That's gonna become difficult when you get a boyfriend, huh?"

Tohru laughed weakly, but the laugh just turned into more tears when she realized that the last time this happened, _Kyo_ was the one holding her hair back. Not that she didn't greatly appreciate Hanajima and Izi-chan helping make sure she didn't get vomit in her hair, and Uotani for rubbing her back soothingly, but... they still weren't _Kyo_.

Actually, where was Kyo? Tohru asked as much. Izi-chan replied that she last saw him in the room where he and Tohru... um, in the room where everyone else was. "Your guess is as good as mine, babe," she chirped. She handed Tohru the mini bottle of water she'd tucked away in her pocket. "Now drink this and brush your teeth. Stomach acid is agony on your pearly whites."

"Izi-chan," Tohru said in a watery voice. "Do you... what I mean is, have you ever..."

"Have I ever what?"

She shook her head. "Have you... Actually, nevermind. Thanks for the water."

"Uh." Izi-chan was a bit confused. "You're welcome, I guess."

* * *

Tohru didn't get up the next day. She claimed she had a bad headache, and that the heat from the baths might make it worse, so she'd just stay in bed. Her friends took turns keeping her company, getting her water, and replacing the cold compress on her forehead. Hatori checked on her several times to ask if she needed more Tylenol. Everyone came into the girls' quarters at least once to check on her.

Everyone except Kyo.

Whenever Tohru thought about the night before or the fact that he hadn't come in yet her head hurt even more. It even hurt to blink, because every time she closed her eyes his face would float in front of her. But she was Tohru Honda, and she was determined not to make anyone worry about her more than they already were.

Even so, a comment of Izi-chan's last night had spurred a question, and now that question was burning a hole in Tohru's skull. She was dying to get Izi-chan's answer, because if it was different than what she _thought_ it would be, then she'd know she was safe. (It made sense in her head.) So that afternoon, while Izi-chan yapped about something or other and Momiji simultaneously nodded along and petted Tohru's hand, Tohru coughed and said, "Momiji-kun? If it's not too much trouble, could you please get me a cup of tea and something to eat?"

"Of course, Tohru!" he replied cheerily, and then he was bouncing out of the room in his Rabbit way.

Izi-chan continued to yammer aimlessly while Tohru silently formulated the best way to bring up the subject she was itching to bring up. She sighed, determining that the _only_ real way was bluntness. "Izi-chan," she started carefully, "have you ever been in love?"

The older girl looked a bit surprised, but she smiled cryptically a second later. "Yes."

That was all. Just a simple 'yes.' Tohru had expected a long anecdote and possibly some bloodthirsty carnal tales from her talkative friend, but she'd been sorely mistaken. So she decided to go on with her questioning. "With who?"

Izi-chan mysterious smile faltered a bit, tinging melancholic around the edges. "Nobody you know. I met him in high school." She sighed dreamily. "He was a really great guy. Like, he'd just--he was really just... I can't explain it. Y'know?"

Taking this as a rhetorical question, Tohru pressed on. "What happened that you two broke up? Or _did_ you break up?" She hoped she wasn't getting into anything too personal.

The smile was almost completely melancholy by now, but there was no denying the shine in her eyes while she spoke. "He... well, it's really complicated. Something happened, and then nothing was the same, and we just... weren't together anymore. I became a different person after it." She sighed again, with no dreaminess. "But shit happens, right? You gotta learn from the bad stuff and grow. When you get knocked down, you gotta get right back on the horse. Otherwise," her fingers twitched like they did the night before, "you fall apart."

Tohru touched her friends shaking hands. Izi-chan looked over, slightly surprised, like she hadn't even noticed the spasms. They both smiled shyly.

"So," Izi-chan said, breaking out of her funk. "Any more questions, sweet?"

"Well, uh, yes. Just one more." She cleared her throat daintily. "But. Um. It's just kind of a random question. Like, it has nothing to do with anything that's happening with me, or us, or anyone we know, or--"

"Tohru," Izi-chan laughed, "get on with it!"

She blushed. "Right. Well, I was just wondering, since you're sort of experienced on the topic..." She blushed harder. "How did you know you were in love?" she practically whispered. "I mean, what did you feel?"

Izi-chan stared at her pensively. Then she grinned like she was remembering something wonderful (which, most likely, she was). "Well," she started slowly, "I can't really pinpoint the exact moment it started, but I remember, when I first realized it? I'd feel like I'd just sprinted a mile whenever I saw him, and I was so happy to just be _near_ him, y'know? Like, even if we weren't doing anything, just sitting around or whatever, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world." She chuckled shortly, then continued. "And, well, we were friends before we were... I guess lovers? That's sounds weird, but whatever. Anyway, it made me feel miserable to think that we might not ever be together, because at the time I thought he only thought of me as a sister or something. When he finally asked me out, I screamed for five minutes straight in private."

Tohru became more and more anxious while Izi-chan explained, for it was exactly what she didn't want to hear. At the same time, she felt a sense of nostalgia she knew she had no business in feeling, and that made her happy in a way that it was clear wouldn't last.

Leaning back on her palms, Izi-chan exhaled loudly. "But to answer your original question, it just kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. It's a great and terrible beauty, falling in love is. It's the most wonderful of dreams and the worst of nightmares." She grinned. "That's Shakespeare, by the way."

"I know. Thank you, Izi-chan, for answering my questions," Tohru said softly. "They were..." She bit back her tears. "They were very helpful."

"No prob, dollface. But now it's time for my own Q and A." She looked Tohru right in the eye with enough force that Tohru jolted a bit. "I'm forced to wonder, what with the context of your questions, _why_ you're asking me about what love feels like. Anything you'd like to share?"

Whoops. Busted. Time to fess up. Why _was_ she asking about Izi-chan's love life and how falling in love felt? Tohru knew that anything other than the truth would not fly with her friend, the Human Bullshit Radar. But saying it... saying it would make it so _concrete_, so _real_, and Tohru herself was not a hundred percent sure that it was.

No. That was a lie. She knew it was true, but she didn't want to admit it. Because from what Izi-chan had said and what she had heard, there was a very large chance that she would end up getting hurt.

"... ru? Tohru?" Oh, right. Izi-chan was waiting for an answer. Tohru firmly decided she'd say what was on her mind. So, before she could chicken out, she blurted what could potentially crush her into tiny pieces:

"I think I'm in love with Kyo-kun."

Izi-chan would tell herself later that it really shouldn't have come as a shock to her, since she'd suspected as much since practically since the first day she'd met the girl. Plus, she'd already found out about Kyo's feelings, so why did it come as such a surprise? Maybe because she was faced with a real-life multiple choice question, just like the ones they make her take millions of times in school.

Question 18 - A good friend of yours has just admitted she's in love with your cousin, whom you know returns the feelings tenfold. Do you:

a) Tell the friend that the object of her affections feels the same way?

b) Change the subject and let them figure things out for themselves, because it's really none of your business anyway?

c) Congratulate the friend cheerily as if you know nothing about the object of her affections' feelings? Or,

d) None of the above.

She honesty had no idea what the proper way to respond was. She opened her mouth to say something, _anything_, just so the excruciating silence would end--

"I've got sna-_acks_!!"

The two girls whipped their heads around to see Momiji bouncing back in with a precarious-looking tray full of cups, a teapot, and more tea cakes than they could possibly eat. They forgotten he'd even been gone.

Izi-chan relaxed; no way would Tohru continue their conversation with Momiji in the room. Contrary to what many people thought upon first look, the Rabbit was most definitely male, therefore he could never be privy to the kinds of things Tohru and Izi-chan were discussing. (a/n: the first time i saw momiji--i started with the anime--i sincerely thought he was a girl.)

"Oh, Tohru-chan!" Momiji gasped. "Your face is all red! Do you need Ha'ri to come in and check on you again?"

Indeed, her face looked like a field of cherry tomatoes had taken up residence. But it wasn't from any fever or headache.

"No, Momiji-kun," she mumbled. "I'll be fine."

She _would_ be fine, wouldn't she?

* * *

**i just want to say: 23 REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER 17?? you guys are fucking awesome!! i don't deserve my ever-so-lovely reviewers, i really and truly don't.**

anywho, it was really weird writing this chapter, with all the limey things (cuz it's not a quite a lemon, it's a LIME!). and i mean, i'm usually the type that's completely comfortable with sex stuff (i have been known to--AHEM!--occasionally peruse the M-rated fanfics). i now have TOTAL respect for people who write sex and general lovey-dovey scenes, romance novelists included, because it's goddiggitydamn UNCOMFORTABLE.

also, having never been in love myself, i relied on mostly books and movies and stuff for izi-chan's descriptions of falling in love. i have no first-hand idea of how it actually feels, so if any readers have experienced it and are scoffing at that whole part, constructive criticism is welcome.

wanna hear a Fun Fact About Jax? i have pink hair!! (wow, that wasn't at all random.) i bleached and colored the last couple of inches of my hair pink a couple months ago, then dyed it a purplish-pink color officially labeled Virgin Rose, and once the rest of that fades (which should be pretty soon), i'm dying it blue. when i put it up, all you can see is the pink, and my mom says that when i do that i look like an exotic parrot (thank you, my delightful mother). so yeah, that's for those of you who care (yeah, i'm know i'm totally fascinating).

long author's note. 12 reviews this time (cuz i get out of school on june 12. NOT EARLY ENOUGH).

Jax (the Weirdo)


	19. Exeunt Summer and Enter Isuzu

**thank you to reviewers.**

here's chapter 19. spoilers from book 11 and up if you haven't read that far (although if you haven't, i pity you. GO READ THEM RIGHT THIS SECOND).

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, nor any of the foods/candies/drinks I mention.

* * *

Chapter 19 - Exeunt Summer and Enter Isuzu

"I can't believe the summer's almost over already!" Momiji whined, lying on the living room floor of Shigure's house and watching _Mogeta_. "It's feels like it just barely started!"

Izi-chan, who was also lying on the floor, laughed and poked Momiji's leg with her neatly pedicured toe. "Sucks for you guys!" She popped a wasabi pea into her mouth.

"Ha ha," Yuki grumbled dryly. He grabbed a handful of the wasabi peas and didn't even wince when he swallowed them all at once (Momiji winced on his behalf).

It was weeks after the infamous onsen trip, which had ended several days early because of the flu Tohru seemed to have contracted. Oh, _of course_ it was just the flu--why else would she be feeling hot but shivery, nauseous, and headache-y to the extent that she'd couldn't even sleep peacefully for more than an hour? The only people who knew the source of the "flu" were Tohru and Izi-chan, and both were one hundred percent certain it had nothing to do with viral infections. Hatori had supplied her with antibiotics as soon as they returned home, which helped with the vomiting and headaches, but Tohru still couldn't shake the shivery-sweaty-hot-and-cold feeling she got every time a certain someone looked at her.

That certain someone was also being treated: Kyo had "tripped" during the onsen holiday and broken his nose. Coincidentally, it was brought to Hatori's attention the night of their game of Strip Bullshit. In addition to his busted schnoz, Kyo also had to get stitches near his left eyebrow and there was a large bandage on his shoulder. There was no doubt that Yuki had caused these injuries in a blind rage at the thought of Kyo violating poor sweet Tohru. Possibly Uotani and Hanajima had helped.

Back in the present, Izi-chan had brought over DVDs and snacks as a sort of End of Summer veg-out. As they gobbled up schools of Swedish fish and snarfed Oreos and Pocky to their hearts' delight, the group of Tohru, Yuki, Momiji, Haru, Hanajima, and Uotani bemoaned the fact that they really didn't want to back to school so soon. Izi-chan cackled and bragged about how she could sleep all day if she wanted to.

"Yeah, well, if you're just gonna lie in bed for hours, you'll probably get fat," Uotani spat, chewing on a red Starburst and flexing her feet.

Izi-chan giggled. "Except _I_ won't be eating the gross, fatty cafeteria food they serve kids like you in that hellhole you go to every day."

"But we'll burn off all the empty calories during P.E.," Haru piped in.

"Oh, right, the class where you wear smelly and uncomfortable sports uniforms and then sit in your sweaty undies for the rest of the day. Fun."

Tohru wrinkled her pert little nose. "Oh no, I forgot about those P.E. shorts." She slid a chocolate cookie into her mouth. "They're so embarrassing."

Uotani forgot about the banter and laughed. "You're too cute!"

"Who's too cute?" They all turned to the deep, husky voice at the doorway. It was Kyo, slouching, the nose splints a bright white against his deep tan. His stitches were nearly unnoticeable by now; if you stood close enough, you could make out the faint contours.

Izi-chan smirked. "Tohru, of course."

"Of course." Kyo rolled his eyes at her, although he completely agreed.

Tohru jumped up and scurried over to her orange-headed friend. "What's wrong? Do you need more painkillers?" she asked worriedly.

"No, I'm fine," he said. "I just... felt like coming down here." Leaning down and snatching up a handful of chips, he stuffed his mouth so he wouldn't have to say anything else. The group, minus Tohru, shared a knowing smirk.

"Okay," Tohru chirped. "Well, you're welcome to hang out with us in here. Uh, that is, only if you want to, because I'm sure you're probably really busy with something, and--"

Momiji and Izi-chan snickered from the floor as Kyo cut Tohru's babbling off by lightly bonking her head with a loose fist. The two of them smiled timidly and tried not to blush (tried and _failed_).

"Hey!" called Izi-chan. "If you guy's are gonna stay in here, you have to get us more soda." She lifted her can of Diet Coke and jiggled it, indicating that it was nearly empty. "It's in the fridge. Now shoo."

With a glare from Kyo and pout from Tohru, they walked to the kitchen on their Quest for Coke. As soon as they were out of earshot, Yuki raised an eyebrow at Izi-chan and asked suspiciously, "Part of your 'plan'?"

"I'm afraid that's classified," she replied shortly.

"Yeah, well, if we end up having to pulling their lips apart again, I'm coming after you."

_"After_ we kill Kyon," Uotani added. Yuki nodded in agreement.

Izi-chan's arrogant smile grew and she shook her head. "You didn't last time, and you won't this time. I know you won't."

Hanajima glanced at the Rat. "Yuki-kun, I've actually been wondering why you _didn't_ do more damage to Kyo-kun?"

"I was just tired, I guess." He shrugged and stared into the bag of chips he was holding in a rather obvious attempt to lie. "Besides, as far as we know they didn't do anything more than kiss and feel each other up, so I figured a broken nose was enough."

"We both know it goes deeper than that, Yuki," Izi-chan said, "but I figure you getting up to throw my Diet Coke away is enough." She shook the now-empty can. "Now shoo."

* * *

"So," Tohru asked, "you're _sure_ you aren't in any pain? Because I can get you some ice while we're in here."

"Tohru, I told you I'm fine." A lie. Of course he was in pain, but it wasn't in relation to his nose. Ice wouldn't cool the agony in his heart, hackneyed as it sounded.

Although still a bit iffy, she decided to let it go--for now. "Can you please hand me the large glass bowl? I want to put some more Doritos out."

"Sure," he mumbled, bending down to look for the bowl.

Her logical brain screamed at her to keep her attention on the bags of snacks and movies that Izi-chan had brought over, but somehow it was drowned out by that small, romantic part that sounded like _someone_ she knew. That part whispered for her to turn and look at him, to drink in his beautiful form. Don't worry, it breathed, he won't ever know. So she ventured a glance at Kyo, bent over, searching for whatever it was she'd asked him to search for (a bowl?). His baggy cargo pants were surprisingly formfitting in the buttocks area, so Tohru was allowed a fine view of his rear end, firm from years of martial arts, just like the the rest of his body that she'd seen. His T-shirt was riding up a little, so a small amount of tan lower back and dark blue boxers were visible. Tohru could feel herself turning red; the hotness from her face seeped down into seemingly every inch of her body and a chill worked its way up and down her spine.

Kyo stood back up frowning. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it when he realized Tohru was looking a bit feverish again. "Are you okay?"

"What--yeah, yes--of course I'm okay!" she said loudly. She whipped her head back to half-open bag of chips she held and stared at it with much more concentration than one would've needed. "Um, why do you ask?"

He shook his head. "No reason, you look a little red. Anyway, I can't find the big glass bowl."

"It isn't down there?" Tohru moved to where he was standing and crouched down. "Oh, that's right. I put it in the high cabinet to make space." Knowing she was too short to reach up high on even her tippiest toes, she did what she always did to get things on the top shelf: She stood up on the counter and rooted around inside the cupboard.

Normally, this wasn't at all a problem, seeing as how she was usually the only person in the kitchen, and she'd always clean where she'd had her feet afterward. She didn't think to consider Kyo standing there or her customary short skirt. When she balanced herself on the counter, it was Kyo's turn to blush.

He could see right up her skirt.

It wasn't that it was a bad view--truth be told, it was something Kyo dreamed about every now and then--or one he was seeing for the first time--oh, the notorious Strip Bullshit game--but in this situation, it felt so bizzare that Tohru's underwear would come up. Like, _I can't find the bowl; Okay, I'll get it; PANTIES; Here it is!_ And what if someone walked in now and saw Kyo just staring blatantly at Tohru's ass? He only had one nose to break. Yuki definitely wouldn't spare him this time.

* * *

_"Ready to_ _tell her yet?"_

Immediately after Izi-chan had said that, she fled the room and Kyo was left alone once again. Only himself and the ghosts of the words that didn't have to be voiced.

"That baka _asshole."_

"Once again the baka _fucks up a relationship."  
_  
_"Does the _neko _really think she returns his feelings?"_

It hurt. God, it hurt. You'd think after years of this, he'd be used to it, but he wasn't. It still opened a fresh wound each time. No physical pain could ever compare to the storms whipping around inside his head every day.

"You." Ah, speaking of physical pain. Apparently Yuki was making good on his death-threat-slash-glare. Kyo turned his head slowly to face his rival, whom he knew would most likely try to kill him. Well, fine. He'd be a man and take whatever Yuki could dish out.

"Yes?" he said without even mustering a 'kuso nezumi_.'_

Yuki was practically foaming at the mouth, he was so livid. His long-standing feud with Kyo aside, seeing the neko _slobbering all over Honda-san's neck and ripping her bra off was enough incentive to behead Pope. The hatred that was bubbling in the pit of his stomach and threatening to overflow distorted his vision, clouding over Tohru's blissful expression and hands in orange hair. His mind screamed out for him to make it so the _baka neko _wouldn't ever be able to hurt Tohru again._

Wordlessly, he walked up to Kyo and struck him right in the jaw. As he reeled from the hit, clutching the side of his face, Yuki clocked his nose, harder than before. Suddenly Kyo was on the ground and he could taste blood in his mouth, warm and metallic. He closed his eyes and let the pain wash over him, not doing anything to fight back. Yuki was kicking his stomach, shouting something. Fucking bastard... how dare you... what the hell did you... how could you hurt her...

Kyo opened his eyes now. "I didn't hurt her," he croaked. "You don't know--"

"What the fuck don't I know?!" Since Kyo wasn't wearing a shirt, Yuki couldn't grab the front of it and shake him like he wanted to. He settled for clawing at his shoulder; his long nails left three long, thin scratches on the tan skin. Kyo barely hissed at it.

"I didn't hurt her," the Cat repeated. "I wouldn't hurt her."

The look in his eye threw Yuki for a loop: It was so piercingly desolate, and he was sure he saw the glint of a tear. But Yuki reminded himself that this was Kyo, the Cat, his rival, and the person who would've done disgusting things to Tohru if half the Sohma family hadn't interrupted him.

"Y-you're lying!" He wanted to tear out those piercing eyes. He raised his talons once again and aimed for Kyo's large, sad orbs. "Stop lying!"

"Yuki, stop it!" a voice shouted. Yuki couldn't identify it through his rage and Kyo couldn't hear it through his pain. The Rat didn't care; whoever it was could watch him pluck out Kyo's eyes. But before his nails could meet the sensitive flesh of Kyo's eyeball, Hatori grabbed one of his arms and Hatsuharu grabbed the other.

"Stop! Let me go!" Yuki writhed and thrashed, trying to escape their stronghold. "Let me finish him off like he deserves!"

"Yuki, stop_." Hatori's voice was eerily calm. He tightened his grip on Yuki's arm and pulled him off Kyo. "Is this really how you want to handle this? Yelling and fighting like a child throwing a temper tantrum?"_

"I don't care!" he snarled. A lesser man would've been frightened at Yuki's mood change from his usual self-possessed and polite attitude to this, but not Hatori. "He tried to hurt her! He would have... would have--"

"Would have what_, Yuki?" He had no idea when it had happened, but suddenly Izi-chan was standing in front of Yuki, coolly serene. Hadn't she been comforting Tohru? How much time had passed since Yuki threw that first punch? "Would have fucked her?"_

He glared. "Don't talk about it like it's not a big deal. He would've, and then everything would just shatter. You know it, too."

She crouched down so she was at eye level with him. "You're right, Yuki. If they'd had sex, everything would _shatter. But not for the reason you think. And on that note..." She quickly, swiftly brought a hand up and slapped him across the face. He gasped. "What the _fuck _are you thinking? Are you too blinded by your stupid little Cat-vs.-Rat rivalry with Kyo to realize Tohru wanted the exact same thing as he did? That's the second time I've said that tonight, but with any fucking luck I'll only have to say this once: You. Are. Acting. Like. Akito."_

The truth hit him hard and cold, like a tidal wave littered with slabs of ice. Oh God. How could he not have noticed that she was completely right? This was exactly the kind of thing Akito would do to him, so many times as a child, if he didn't get his way. He looked at Kyo, lying on the ground pitifully, his nose-mouth-shoulder bleeding. A thin trickle of blood slid down from above his left eyebrow from where Yuki had swung for his eye but missed. He looked to be unconscious, and Hatori was frowning and barking orders at the onsen staff that Momiji had run for. Yuki blanched at the sight of it all. He was the reason Kyo was lying there, bloodied and broken. He was turning into a monster.

He felt the tears but did not stop them. He never thought he'd feel such pity for the Cat. Izi-chan cast one last disdainful look in his direction before walking out of the room. Yuki was about to... he didn't know what, but whatever it was, he stopped when he heard a voice behind him.

"I wouldn't hurt her. I wouldn't. I would never hurt her."

Kyo. The poor Cat. Beaten practically to a pulp, he was still croaking his innocence--an innocence that Yuki felt guilty to have only figured out now. He lowed his eyes and said, "I know."

* * *

"Alright, I found the bowl!" Tohru chirped, turning sharply on the kitchen counter. Trying to decipher the blacked out parts of what happened the night Yuki tried to kick his ass, Kyo almost didn't see Tohru lose her footing on the high counter top. Her eyes widened and her lips parted to let out a silent scream. It felt like she was falling in slow motion, but Kyo moved at super speed, wrapping his arms around her and cushioning her fall. The glass bowl shattered as it hit the ground. For a split second they felt the warmth of the other's body; it was one of the most beautiful feelings, entangled in the arms of their beloved.

_POOF!_

Just like that, the bliss was over and Tohru was lying on top of a small orange cat, the colorful smoke clearing around them. She sputtered her _sorry_s and _I'm-an-idiot_s while Kyo sweatdropped and swore at his curse.

Meanwhile, Yuki, Izi-chan, Momiji, and Hatsuharu looked at each other, eyes the size of saucers, as they heard the noise of a transformation. Hanajima and Uotani raised their eyebrows and looked in the direction of the kitchen.

"Did you guys hear that?" Uotani questioned. "Like a _poof_ing noise or whatever?"

Izi-chan quickly rushed in with an explanation of something being dropped, most likely. "Yuki," she said through clenched teeth, "why don't you go check on them?"

He nodded and walked briskly to the kitchen. When he threw open the door--and just as quickly slammed it close--he was met with the sight of Kyo in cat form and Tohru picking up the shattered glass. "What happened?" he whisper-shrieked.

"She fell off the counter and I caught her, okay?!" Kyo whisper-shrieked back. "I really don't need you on my case right now!"

Still feeling slightly guilty about wanting to remove Kyo's eyeballs, Yuki said nothing. He crouched down and helped Tohru with the rest of the glass before Uotani and Hanajima could have the chance burst in and demand to know why there was a cat pacing nervously and swearing. Or worse, if they came in when Kyo changed back... Yuki gathered the glass faster.

"Thank you, Yuki-kun," Tohru mumbled.

"Oh, uh, yes. It's no problem, Honda-san." He leaped over to the trash bin. "You might want to hurry up a bit, with Hanajima-san and Uotani-san in the next room..."

"Oh. Right!"

Kyo looked on worriedly. Oh God, if one of Tohru's friends saw him like this, there would be hell to pay. Didn't they still think Shigure was their pet dog from their last visit? Good thing the mutt was at the Main House today, otherwise things would be even more awkward (if that was possible).

"... really, I mean I'm sure they're fine in there, you guys shouldn't bother yourselves! And, and I'll pick a movie for us to watch! You want horror or rom-com?" Izi-chan loud voice floated into the kitchen, making the three occupants freeze. Were the girls coming in?!

"Shit!" Kyo hissed. "Shit shit _shit_ shit!"  
_  
_Frantic, Tohru scooped up Kyo's clothes and the orange cat himself and tore open the back door. She shot him an apologetic look before tossing him out into the backyard. The moment his kitty ass hit the green turf, he changed back into his human self, prompting Tohru to slam the door red-faced.

Not a second after Tohru slammed the door, Izi-chan walked in backward, still squawking about staying out of the kitchen, with Uotani and Hanajima right behind her (or in front of her?). Her gaze flitted to Yuki and Tohru, and she sighed with relief when she saw no orange cat.

"Actually, nevermind. The kitchen's safe after all."

* * *

After Uotani and Hanajima went home ("Gotta get ready for the first day of school," Uotani whined), the Zodiac members plus Izi-chan and Tohru let themselves relax.

"Close call today, huh?" Momiji said, popping the Mogeta disc out of the DVD player.

"Shyeah." Hatsuharu scratched his black-and-white-topped head and tapped Momiji's blond one. "Come on. Hatori'll be here any minute."

Soon thereafter, a car horn was honked outside and the duo scurried away. Yuki and Kyo headed upstairs to their respective corners of the house. Tohru and Izi-chan were left alone to discuss... whatever it is they discussed.

Translation: Boys. And, more specifically, Kyo and any new progress Tohru had made with him.

"So, tell me honestly," Izi-chan said in a hushed voice. "What happened that Kyo transformed in the kitchen?"

Tohru blushed. "Nothing."

The older girl pursed her lips, like _Yeah right; give me another one_.

"I mean it! Nothing happened!" She busied herself with the remaining trash on the table. "I just--it's really stupid, to tell the truth. I was trying to get this bowl that was really high up, so I got up on the counter, and then, clumsy me! I lost my balance and would've landed flat on my face if Kyo-kun hadn't caught me. Only, you know, with the curse..."

"The big-strong-hero-saving-his-princess mood was killed?" Izi-chan prompted with an amused look twisting her striking features.

"Well, when you say it like that--!" Tohru blushed again. "Yeah, so it's not like he transformed because he was meant to hug me or anything. Why would he? I mean, I'm not pretty or graceful or smart or--"

"Tohru!" Izi-chan interrupted angrily. "Shut the fuck up! Why would you say something like that about yourself? Especially when it's not even true."

"Izi-chan, I know you're just trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate it, but--"

She shook her head. "Believe me, Tohru, if I didn't mean it I wouldn't say it. I'm not nice. If I thought you looked like shit I'd say so. But you don't!" she added. "God, you have no idea how kind and smart and beautiful you really are, and I bet that, like, _twelve_ out of ten people would say the same thing if you took a survey. But you _wouldn't_, 'cause you're so fucking modest and nice that you refuse any kind of compliment that anyone gives you. I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ, Tohru, the only praise I've ever seen you actually enjoy was..."

Tohru looked at her curiously when she stopped. "Was... ?"

"Was from Kyo." Smirk.

Coming as close to a frown as was possible for her, Tohru got up with the bag of left of over trash and mumbled she would be right back. Izi-chan felt a bit guilty, teasing the younger girl about her (wannabe) beau, but it was just too great an opportunity to pass up. Besides, she teased Kyo about it, and she wouldn't want to be sexist...

The clanging of something being dropped shook Izi-chan out of her thoughts. She stood up to go check on Tohru but stopped in her tracks when she saw a flash of long black hair and snowy white skin. She ran to follow the trail of ebony tresses, grabbing the pale hand that swung behind it. A head turned around and bewitching dark eyes widened when they locked on Izi-chan.

Isuzu.

"Rin! It _is_ you!" Izi-chan grinned and dropped her cousin's hand. "Wow, how _are_ you? Shigure told me you were in the hospital for a while, but are you better now? Like, he said this time it was really bad. Heh, I'm gonna let you use that hospital thing as an excuse for not coming to say hi to me yet. I mean, it's not like I've been back for months or anything..." She gasped, her mouth forming a perfect 'O.' "_Ohmygod!_ You know what I just realized? You haven't gotten to meet Tohru yet, have you? You are just going to _love_ her, I swear. The girl's a complete angel, she really is. She's right in the kitchen, if you wanna--"

"No." The first word out of Isuzu's mouth since she stepped into Shigure's house, and it was hard and cold as ice. Izi-chan was a bit taken aback by her tone. "I don't want anything to do with that girl."

"Oh, come on, Rin," Izi-chan scoffed. "You haven't even _met_ her yet, how can you possibly hate her already?"

"Why would I _want_ to meet her?" Isuzu challenged. "She's an outsider, Izi-chan, she's never going to have a place with us--"

"Just-just-just _don't_," Izi-chan growled, rubbing a creased brow. "I don't care that you're all sore and moody from your breakup with Haru--" She stopped herself from saying anything else, knowing she'd mentioned something she wasn't supposed to know about.

"_What?!_" Isuzu yelped. "How did you... who told you about us?!"

"Nobody, Rin. I just kind of guessed."

"Were you the one who told him?" she said in a voice too calm to be real.

"What? Told who?" The only thing that kept Isuzu from screaming at her was Izi-chan's obviously confused expression. It was clear she had nothing to do with the betrayal of her and Hatsuharu's relationship.

"Look, Rin, I'm sorry. I don't know why you two broke up, but I'm sorry that it happened. I'm sure you two were a really great couple," she said quietly. "Maybe if you guys had told people--"

Isuzu laughed bitterly and humorlessly, still feeling spiteful from Izi-chan knowing about her and Haru. "Oh, that's rich. Like _you're_ telling people about your little matchmaking service?" The instant it came out of her mouth she regretted it. Izi-chan was actually someone Isuzu respected.

She narrowed her eyes. "That's none of your business, Rin. Who told you?"

"I..." She grimaced. "I was at the Main House and I heard Gure-nii and Tori-nii talking about it, and..."

"And?"

"And I think you should stop. Izi-chan, you're giving them both false hope. That girl..." She sighed and looked away so Izi-chan couldn't see the sympathy in her eyes. "She's just going to end up crushed. You know Kyo is going into confinement the minute he graduates high school."

A gasp sounded behind them.

* * *

Tohru dropped the trash into the shiny circular bin, the dark and smelly abyss. Sometimes she wished she could crawl into a tiny ball and have someone let her fall into it. But thinking of falling just made her think of that afternoon and Kyo, which made her heart hurt.

_I hate that I can't be with him, _she thought. _He probably doesn't like me anyway. I'm so stupid to even think that someone as kind and handsome as Kyo-kun could ever think of me as anything other than a sister or whatever. _She heaved a heavy sigh of self-pity.

"... _is_ you!" Tohru caught a snippet of Izi-chan's loud voice, followed by a quieter, unfamiliar voice. Who was she talking to?

Tohru moved silently out of the kitchen, making her way towards the voices. She knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but she really wanted to know who this mysterious new voice belonged to. Along the way (she was moving slowly to make as little noise as possible), she heard more pieces of the conversation.

"... sore and moody from your breakup..."

"... told you about us?!"

"... really great couple..."

So, maybe this person was just a friend of Izi-chan's who need support from a bad breakup? Tohru moved closer to the source of the heated discussion (because it did sound heated), catching more bits of their words.

"... Gure-nii and Tori-nii talking about it..."

Huh? Shigure and Hatori? Now Tohru was confused. Was it a Sohma? She peeked around the corner and saw Izi-chan looking peeved and beautiful long black hair--the stranger had her back to Tohru.

"And I think you should stop. Izi-chan, you're giving them both false hope. That girl..." The black-haired girl sighed, and Tohru noticed her voice sounded less cold than before. This time it was sounded concerned. "She's just going to end up crushed. You know Kyo is going into confinement the minute he graduates high school."

Tohru felt her entire body go cold. What? Kyo... confinement... as in kept in one place a hundred percent of the time? As in never getting to go to college or get married or get married of have children? As in Tohru never being able to see him again?

She didn't realize she'd gasped until Izi-chan jumped slightly. "Tohru!" she exclaimed. "You--ah, what are you... ?"

The black-haired girl turned around and Tohru was caught off guard by her immense beauty: Stunning dark eyes bored into Tohru, along with perfect porcelain skin and large, pillowy lips set in an unsmiling line. She turned to face Tohru completely and Tohru was again surprised to see the girl's body was as flawless as her face, with slim hips-legs-waist and an impressive bosom. She looked at least as tall as Izi-chan, if not taller; she was still wearing her shoes, a pair of high-heeled knee-high boots. Tohru hated herself for burning with jealously.

"Um." Izi-chan walked over to stand in between the two girls awkwardly. She looked nervously and fidgety, and Tohru realized this was probably the first time she'd seen Izi-chan this uneasy. "Okay, well, introductions, huh? Tohru, this is Rin. Er, Isuzu Sohma. Rin, Tohru."

Tohru immediately bowed in respect. When her head bobbed back up, Isuzu's unsmiling face seemed to have become even less smiley. It was slightly irritating to Tohru that she could make such and unpleasant face and still be so beautiful.

"Uh, it's very nice to meet you Isuzu-san."

Isuzu said nothing in reply_. _Izi-chan elbowed her in the ribs until she let out a standard grunt that translated roughly to "Same/Stop elbowing me." Izi-chan rolled her eyes and said, "Rin is actually a member of the Zodiac. She's the Horse."

Rather than be elated with the news that she was in the presence of another Zodiac member, Tohru felt like she'd just swallowed a fifty-pound weight. Kyo was going to be confined after high school. In a year. He wouldn't be living with her, or seeing her, anymore. She felt tears pricking the corners of her big blue eyes but did her best to bite them back.

No luck: Izi-chan saw her eyes go glassy and grabbed her hand. "Excuse us," she mumbled to Isuzu before stomping into the next room. When she was sure they were alone, Tohru tore her hand away from Izi-chan's and wiped angrily at her tears.

"Tohru," she started, "what you heard back there--"

"Is it true?"

"What?" Izi-chan was shocked at Tohru frigid tone.

"Is. It. True." Tohru flicked her eyes briefly to the older girl, long enough for her distressed and irritated expression to be seen. "Is Kyo-kun going to be confined after high school? Is that true?"

Izi-chan hesitated. Was Isuzu right when she said Tohru would be crushed? Was telling the truth worth trampling this poor girl's spirit. The hurt in her eyes said yes. Yes, it was. She sighed and stared at the floor. "Yes. It's true."

Tohru fell to her knees, but she didn't feel it. She heard a strange, strangled sound, like a little animal in pain, until she realized that the sound was coming from her own mouth. Her chest hurt like nothing she'd ever felt, not even when her mother died, and her guilt at that made her feel even worse. She could vaguely see Izi-chan looking freaked out and rushing over to her, but other than her own sobs she could hear nothing. Izi-chan's mouth moved, probably screaming, calling for help. Nothing came out that reached Tohru's ears.

She saw darkness creeping into her sight, around the edges at first, then attacking the whole thing. Through it, she saw bits and pieces of more people looking scared: Shigure rushing in and then out, Yuki running over to her and moving his mouth soundlessly also, even Isuzu, a relative stranger to Tohru, was at her side with her pretty mouth turned downwards with worry. Just before she blacked out completely, Tohru felt her heart feel the tiniest bit better when the one person who mattered came into view and stayed there, even her unconsciousness:

Kyo.

* * *

**long chapter. whilst typing this, i was very distracted by the songs from RENT that i played over and over and over again. (FYI, the songs from the movie and not the actual broadway production, for any RENTheads out there. oh, adam pascal. you can light my candle anytime. -swoons and dies-) so yeah, if i miss any typos that are actually lyrics from the one of songs, or if something i write that seems like i'm ripping it off from the greatest rock opera ever written (look it up, it's really a rock opera), please forgive me. i'm currently falling back in love with RENT.**

but then i was also listening to Dance Hall Crashers and Three Days Grace and a bunch of random stuff from Disney movies... i have very erratic tastes in music (or, as my bother puts it, _**lame**_**).**

remember to review! 13 reviews this time. (you guys send them so quickly that i get more than i deserve. -swoons and dies again-) i'll try to update more quickly, if only in a vain attempt to divert my un-divertable attention from my brother and his girlfriend, who are here ALL THE TIME. they're so adorable i could vomit.

Jax

ps) THE HAIR IS BLUE!! it's so fucking cool... i can't stop grinning.


	20. Halloween

**thank to reviewers!! i mean, really guys: so many reviews so fast!! i seriously cannot keep up. but maybe now i will, because i'm OFFICIALLY OUT OF SCHOOL!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (-puts hands in the air and waves them like i just don't care-). can i get a HELLS YEAH?**

okay, SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to inu-rulz, the lucky 200th reviewer of _**Ties of Love and Friendship**_**! your SUPER SPECIAL PRIZE is a cameo in the story! i'm not promising any lines, but send me a PM of how you'd like to be described and i'll have you show up at the halloween party (read on)! and i'd just like to point out that we hit the 100 mark at chapter 16, which was not even FOUR chapters ago (i'm counting from 19). you guys are so fucking awesome, it's not even funny.**

here's chapter 20 (i'm still freaking out that we're at 20. but you guys are probably sick of hearing that).

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, or _**Antony and Cleopatra, **_**which is by William Shakespeare.**

* * *

Chapter 20 - Halloween

Cracking her weary eyes open, Tohru observed she was lying in her bed. She was wrapped, quite comfortably, in more blankets than she was aware existed in Shigure's house. She struggled to sit up--the blankets really weighed her down.

"Oh, good, you're awake."

Tohru turned her head and saw Hatori walking into her room with his medical bag. He gently pushed on her shoulder, sending her back under the mountain of blankets. "Don't waste your energy," he mumbled.

She obeyed, despite wanting to tell everyone that she felt healthy as a bull--or whatever the expression was--and that they shouldn't worry about her for one more second.

"You know," Hatori said, fiddling with something in the bag, "you gave everyone quite a scare today. When Shigure called me, I didn't expect it was because you'd fainted while sobbing. Everyone is really worried about you."

Great. Exactly what she didn't want. Worry gnawed at the lining of her stomach, telling her to ask the most important question--to her, at least. "Um," she whispered nervously. "Hatori-san?"

"Yes, Honda-kun?"

"Um," she repeated, "well, I was wondering, er. Did--did Izi-chan... uh..."

Hatori sighed and motioned for her to open her mouth for the thermometer. Once it was firmly in place, he sighed again. "No, Honda-kun, Izi-chan didn't tell anyone why you were crying."

Tohru relaxed. _Good_, she thought.

As if she'd heard her name being mentioned, Izi-chan poked her head into the room and shrieked when she saw Tohru was awake. "_Ohmygod!_ Are you okay?!" She ran over hugged the girl, almost making her choke on the thermometer.

"Izi-chan, she's gonna suffocate." Yuki stepped in and smiled kindly at his friend. "How are you feeling, Honda-san?"

"Oh, I'm much better!" she said around the thermometer. Hatori took it out of her mouth. "I'm sorry for making you worry about me!"

"No fever," Hatori said. "My diagnosis is that stress from school starting tomorrow coupled with your leftover flu must've just wore you out. Does that sound about right?"

_Not at all,_ she thought. "Oh, yeah, that's probably it."

Yuki smiled again. "Honda-san, we're glad you're okay. We had literally no idea what happened that you reacted that way." He glanced sideways at Izi-chan, almost accusingly. She glared back.

"Open the door!" they heard Kyo yell from outside. Yuki rolled his eyes but got up, since he was closest to the door. Kyo walked in with a tray of tea and some sort of soup. Tohru grinned when she saw the disgusted look on his face: it was definitely leek soup, that _he_ had made.

However, seeing Kyo made Tohru remember why she had cried and fainted in the first place. She bit the inside of her lip when she felt more tears swimming up.

"Kyo-kun," she said in a slightly strangled voice; nobody noticed this. "Did you make that for me? You..." She swallowed hard. "You really shouldn't have."

He set the tray on her lap and scratched his head awkwardly. "Yeah, well, since you're sick or whatever, I just thought you might, I dunno, want some food... or something. And, um, since the leek soup helped a little last time, I just figured, you know..." He ducked his head to hide his blush (unsuccessfully).

Tohru grinned widely, partially to hide her melancholy, but mostly because he made something he could barely breathe around for _her_. That had to mean _something_, right?

"Hey, guys?" Izi-chan asked quietly. "Could you excuse Tohru for a sec while we talk in private?"

It was a reasonable request. Still, Kyo couldn't help but blurt out, "How can we be sure you won't give her another panic attack?"

Izi-chan turned her fierce glare on the Cat. "How can _we_ be sure you're not jacking off to her picture every time you're alone in your room?"

He stomped out of the room without even yelling or blushing. Izi-chan scowled to herself, ashamed. Tohru felt her eyes fill with tears again.

"Well, Izi-chan," Hatori muttered, "I'd say that comment was crude and unnecessary, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're already beating yourself up for it." He got up and left the room, turning right before he reached the door to tell Tohru to eat her soup. Yuki got up slowly and followed him.

Once the door was firmly closed, the girls sat through at least a full minute of tense silence. Tohru grabbed a tissue from her bedside table and wiped her eyes. She opened her mouth to give Izi-chan a piece of her mind about what she'd said to Kyo--at least, that was the plan.

"Izi-chan, I--" she said at the same time Izi-chan cried, "I'm so sorry, Tohru!"

"You... what?" Tohru was dumbfounded to see and hear the remorse clouding her usually confident friend. Were those actual tears threatening to besmirch her unperturbed facade?

"I just, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said just now and what I said all those other times and what I'll probably say in the most-likely-near-future." She blinked rapidly, keeping the tears at bay. "When I see you two... I guess I just get a little jealous."

"Jealous?" Whatever it said about Tohru being dumbfounded before, scratch that. _Now_ she was dumbfounded. "Of _what?_"

Izi-chan kept her gaze focused solely on the pillow to the next of Tohru's right elbow. "I think you guys have a really good chance of working out, and I'm happy for you, I really am. But then I remember... my own love stories, and I turn into this awful, ugly, jealous monster. Kind of like Kagura, actually." She cracked a feeble smile. "But--but I'm not gonna let that stop me. I want to help you be with Kyo. And..." She looked up and stared Tohru in the eye, now completely tear-free. "And I want to help you break the Zodiac Curse."

Tohru gasped and paled. "How did--"

"Tohru." Izi-chan shook her head and smiled faintly. "Don't underestimate me. Of course you'd want to break Kyo's curse after what you heard."

Face crumpling and tears returning tenfold, Tohru gathered up the unusually vulnerable-looking Izi-chan in a hug. Izi-chan softened into it; it had been a long time since she'd gotten a real, tender hug.

"I still think you should apologize to Kyo-kun, though," Tohru whispered sweetly. At that, how could anyone refuse?

* * *

Fast forwarding several months, they were preparing for the sickly, sugared holiday that was Halloween. Izi-chan bullied her family and Tohru into accepting the invitation to a Halloween party being thrown by one of her artsy-geeky-stoner-hipster friends. Costumes were mandatory.

"Come off it, Izi-chan," Kyo scoffed. "I'm not prancing around all dressed up for another costume party."

"_You_ come off it." She made no move to lower her voice when she continued talking. "What, you afraid you'll get an instant replay of my last party?"

Silence, just like at the onsen when she'd said the same thing. Kyo schooled his features so that he didn't look as embarrassed as he felt. He stuck his chin out defiantly.

"What are your _real_ schemes with this party, Izi-chan?"

She laughed innocently and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Why, I'm afraid I don't know _what_ you mean, Koko-chan." They had a staring match for at least a full minute before the Cat scowled and looked away. Izi-chan smirked. "Choose your own costume or I'll choose one for you." She got up and left the room.

Case closed.

As Kyo skulked around the house, not wanting to humiliate himself in a silly costume in front of Tohru _again_, the brunette girl had her own worries about costumes. Namely, impressing Kyo with hers.

"I mean, what if he thinks I look ridiculous?" she whimpered to Izi-chan in the privacy of her room. She paced the floor anxiously, crossing and uncrossing her arms.

Izi-chan, reclined with her legs folded on Tohru's bed, cackled at this. "Chillax, Tohru, _babe_. He's not gonna come up to you and be all, 'You look like shit.'" She picked at her nails. "If he does, he's getting his ass kicked to from here to _next_ Halloween."

"Oh God, please don't." She stopped her pacing and flopped face down onto her bed. Izi-chan patted her head. "But really, though! I need your help with this!"

"What was that, sweetie? You're talking to your comforter."

Tohru bit her lip but lifted her head, opting to rest it on her palms. "I said I need your help with this. I have no idea what to wear to this party."

Laughing again, Izi-chan fell back onto Tohru's pillows with a soft 'thud.' "Is that all? Jesus, Tohru, all you had to do was ask. Get me a pad of paper and a pen and we'll get to work."

Five minutes later, Tohru was sure she could see Abraham Lincoln's profile on her ceiling within the weird paint patterns--Izi-chan had demanded quiet while she deliberated. She was about ready to go to the kitchen to start lunch when Izi-chan let out an "Ah-_ha!_" and set down her list triumphantly.

"Are you finished?" Tohru inquired.

"Yuh-huh! Come take a look-see." She handed the paper and pen over to her friend with a look that said, _You're so gonna love it_.

Tohru scanned the list and became ashen, but then quickly regained her color times ten. "Izi-chan, I can't wear any of these costumes!"

The auburn-haired girl frowned. "Well, why not? What's wrong with them?" she demanded.

"It's... I mean, not they aren't... well, you know..." She shrugged uncomfortably.

"No, Tohru, I _don't_ know. Please explain."

Tohru squirmed under the harsh stare. "They're too provocative!"  
_  
Possible Halloween Costumes for Tohru That Might or Might Not Impress Kyo (written by Izi-chan)_

_sexy nurse (or doctor, whatev)_

sexy French maid (ooh-la-la)

sexy kitten (Kyo's kitten! ha ha)

sexy witch (maybe cast a love spell?)

sexy firefighter (never can you put out the fire of your love! lol, corny)

sexy police officer (tell him he has the right to remain FOXY!)

sexy hippie/gypsy (you'd be a hot PEACE of ass, heh heh)

sexy pirate (arrrrrr)

sexy pirate wench (corsets are hawt, baby)

Marilyn Monroe (sexy is implied)

The list went on and on and featured such gems as "sexy mobster" and "sexy mailwoman." The ever-composed Izi-chan saw nothing wrong with the costume ideas she came up with and didn't understand why Tohru did.

"Izi-chan," Tohru started, "you're the kind of person who has enough confidence to pull these kind of things off. I'm not that confident. I can't wear something like this. I'm sorry, but I can't."

Raising a expertly sculpted brow, Izi-chan stared at the younger girl. "Are you gonna start in on another 'I'm-a-hideous-suckwad' tirade?"

She blushed. "No, I just--"

"'Cause, Tohru, you know," Izi-chan continued, ignoring Tohru's feeble attempts to convince her to stop, "we'll be having Ayame make out costumes, so it's not like you'll get some store-bought one and it'll be way too huge in the boob department. Not that you don't have boobs, 'cause you totally do, but you know that these costume designers have completely unrealistic impressions of what women should look like, plus all the models they use have really obvious boob jobs, and--"

"Izi-chan!" Tohru interrupted, afraid her friend would run out of air. "Breathe! And that's not even what I meant."

"Oh." She felt a bit stupid. "Then what _did _you mean?"

This was kind of awkward. Tohru didn't want to seem ungrateful, especially after everything Izi-chan had told her and helped her with concerning Kyo. Oh well. It had to be done. Tohru sighed and focused on a piece of string hanging off the folded blanket at the end of her bed. "It's just that the last time you made me over was with that yellow dress. You remember the yellow babydoll dress, right?" Izi-chan nodded. "Right. Well, that wasn't even especially attention-grabbing, and Kyo-kun still got upset. I mean, he apologized, of course, but he said the reason he got mad was because he thought I was too beautiful to have to dress up like that." She smiled at the memory, back when she didn't understand the butterflies she got every time he looked at her (not that she understood them much better now, but there was sort of an improvement). "Anyway, this whole thing is supposed to _impress_ him, not make him angry."

Izi-chan nodded again. "Yeah," she agreed. "I guess I see what you're saying. Yeah. Oh, but hey!" She bounced on the bed in her excitement. "How about we go with a totally new direction? Like, instead of dressing like a slut to quote, unquote impress him, you can dress up as something so fucking elegant and chic that he'll totally be kissing your stylish feet?"

Tohru smiled at her exuberance. "That sounds really cool. What would my costume be, though?"

Izi-chan frowned, slumping against the pillows again, but jolted back up and nearly hit Tohru's forehead with own a second later. "Oh em gee! How about Cleopatra!"

It was actually a pretty good idea. As Queen of the Nile, Tohru would ooze grace and sophistication, making any mortal who dare cross her path brought to tears by her charm, beauty, and poise. Kyo would melt at just the sight of her. She smiled, a bit of slyness coating the edges of her mouth like salt from chips.

_Perfect_.

* * *

"Hey."

Izi-chan looked up from her coffee and paper at her orange-head cousin. She was seated at Shigure's dining table, early in the morning, after stopping by with her Starbucks vanilla double cappuccino with whipped cream and caramel drizzle, grande for maximum sugar-and-caffeine rush. Struggling to lift her tired head from staring at the same sentence in the same comic word bubble, she grunted almost incoherently.

"What the fuck do you want?"

Kyo took this as an invitation to sit down next to her. "I need your help with... something. I can't tell you what right now, but it's really important."

"Oh, God, Koko," Izi-chan groaned. "It's way too early for this shit. Ask me again in..." She eyed her coffee. "In about five minutes. Swear I'll be awake by then, sweetie."

"I don't have five minutes!" Kyo yelped. "Tohru will be back by then! I told her we were out of milk and she went to get some, but she'll be home soon and... are you laughing?"

Indeed, Izi-chan had her hand over her mouth in an effort to muffle her giggles, and failed to do so successfully. "Oh, no, don't worry, I'm not laughing _at_ you, Kyo," she chortled. "I'm laughing _with_ you. I-I promise." She wiped a happy tear from her eye. "Heh. No. Sorry. I'm done. Heh."

Kyo rolled his eyes. "Can I continue now?"

Izi-chan sipped her ginormous coffee-like beverage and nodded at him.

"Okay," he started, "so I've been thinking about what to wear to this Halloween party, and nothing I can think of will look good. I mean, like, I can think of a bunch of costume ideas, but they'd all make me look like an idiot."

When he paused, Izi-chan slurped her drink noisily, like _And your point is?_ "So, as much as I hate asking for people's help..."

"You need mine?"

"I need yours!" he cried. "I want to impress her! You don't realize how much is riding on this one thing!"

"Kyon," Izi-chan said, "don't you think you're being a little melodramatic?"

The crazed look in his eyes said that he didn't. It also said he was sacrificing quite a bit of his pride by just asking, so Izi-chan took pity on the poor love-struck boy.

"Okay, I'll help you out," she declared. "And I already have the perfect solution to your problem: Marc Antony."

"Who?"

Izi-chan widened her groggy morning eyes. "Are you telling me you've never heard of _Antony and Cleopatra_?" He shook his head. "The play by William Shakespeare?" Another head shake. "What the hell are they teaching you in that school? It's a fucking classic!"

"Are you gonna explain to me who this 'Marc Antony' guy is or not?"

_Sigh_. "In the play, he and Cleopatra, the queen of Egypt, are madly, passionately in love. They profess their devotion for each other with these really extreme and elaborate parades, but they're kind of..." She shrugged. "Not exactly _dramatic_, but, you know. Dramatic. They totally didn't hesitate to make each other jealous."

"So, what happened to them?"

"Oh! Well, Marc Antony was, um, killed over political reasons, and Cleopatra just, uh, sort of poisoned herself with a snake..."

"_What?!_"

"But that's really not the point," she said quickly. "What I'm saying is, Marc Antony will represent, for you, masculinity--I mean, he was a pretty powerful dude--as well as passion, 'cause it got hot and heavy between him and the Queen of the Nile, if you know what I mean." She smirked when Kyo blushed.

Still a little unsure, he asked what the costume would actually look like, which was his main concern (not counting Tohru's possible opinion of it).

"Oh, it's basically just a toga-meets-gladiator look, possibly some armor. Sandals, if it's not too cold. That okay?" she questioned.

Kyo relaxed. "That's perfect."

Izi-chan downed the rest of her 'coffee,' visibly more awake than before. "I'll tell Ayame what you want and he'll come over sometime to take your measurements. And I don't wanna hear any buts!" she added when she saw the look he had on. "Aya's a fucking genius, so I better not hear you talking smack about him."

"Yeah, whatever."

"I'm serious!" Izi-chan laughed suddenly. "So then I said, 'Yeah, I can see how _happy_ you really are!' Oh, hey Tohru, you're back."

Kyo snapped his head around and nearly got whiplash to see Tohru standing in the door, plastic shopping bag in hand, looking a wee bit confused. Izi-chan explained how she was telling Kyo a little bit about the Halloween party's host, a good friend of hers that was stoned more or less 100 percent of the time.

"Oh, he's so funny!" she giggled. "You guys will _love_ him. And who knows, maybe you'll experiment and have some sort of epiphany while under the influence. Maybe you'll give in to your demons."

Kyo and Tohru did their best not to look at each other.

* * *

All Hallows Eve came at last. The party was to take place that night, so as not to get stuck handing out candy to whiny children ("My least favorite part of Halloween," Izi-chan said). It was decided that Izi-chan's personal guest list would be shorter this time since it wasn't her party, so only she, Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Hastuharu, Momiji, and Shigure would be going.

"You know I don't like your stoner friends," Hatori had grumbled.

"But they _lurve_ you," Izi-chan replied. "But fine. You can babysit Aya, since he's so exhausted from all the costumes he had to slave over."

Ayame laughed weakly from Hatori's couch. "I'd go if I could, you know that, Izi-chan..."

"Of course."

Kazuma was to take Kisa and Hiro trick-or-treating, and Hanajima and Uotani were going to take Megumi around for candy. The rest of the guests were ordered by Izi-chan to arrive at Shigure's house at 9:00 p.m. (they would arrive fashionably late, of course). As they piled in, the laughter was ran freely.

Hatsuharu was dressed as the most lethargic ax murderer any of them had ever seen. Momiji struggled to stand still in a slinky, shimmering pink dress and long platinum blond wig; he was going as Hollywood arm candy/drag queen. Yuki had ditched his polite and straitlaced demeanor for a "groovy, baby" Austin Powers getup, complete with fake yellow teeth and thick glasses. Kyo frowned and crossed his arms over his Marc Antony costume, even though he looked quite handsome and heroic. Izi-chan and Shigure were going as a team of mad scientists, looking like their lab just blew up.

"It's _supposed_ to look singed and crazy," Izi-chan clarified to Hatsuharu. "We're _mad_ scientists."

"We were originally going to go as a pair of breasts," Shigure said. "But then Izi-chan thought it would be funny to be a penis and vagina--"

"I was gonna be the penis!" she giggled.

"--and _then_ Haa-san said we were acting childish and suggested mad scientists since we're so insane."

"Such is a brief history of our Halloween costume nightmare process." They bowed.

"You guys really _are_ childish," Kyo grumbled. He fidgeted with his fake sword. "Should someone go check on Tohru?"

"It's okay!" they heard her yell from upstairs, followed by footsteps. "I'm coming down now!"

As she made her way down the stairs, Kyo took in her natural beauty enhanced by her tasteful yet alluring costume: Satiny white fabric was wrapped around her curves and fell down around her ankles, where golden sandals winded around and up. A front slit cut up to slightly past her knees, and her tiny waist was accented with a colorful sash. There was the impressive-looking beaded _something_ covering her neck and shoulders. Her eyes were painted cats-eye style with bright blue shadow, her lips stained scarlet. Finally, a shoulder-length black wig and gold headdress topped her head, and on her upper arms were gold bracelets that had long sashes of the same satiny white fabric hanging off of them, attaching to the train of fabric on her back.

Kyo reminded himself to breathe.

Tohru, blushing from the stares she was getting, stood next to Kyo as Momiji burst with excitement. "Oh, I get it!" he squealed. "You guys are Antony and Cleopatra! We're studying it in class right now. That's so cute!"

Izi-chan practically fell on the floor laughing. Kyo glared malevolently at her, his face the color of a fire engine. Tohru didn't glare, being Tohru, but her insides were screaming and her face matched Kyo's. Everyone else cracked a smirk.

"Ah, holy shit!" Izi-chan guffawed. "_Ohmygod!_ Did I trick you guys? I'm _so sorry!_ How could this have happened?"

"I can't believe you!" Kyo hissed, still blushing. "I trusted you!"

Izi-chan stood up straight--she had previously been doubled over with her hands on her knees--and smiled in a way that would greatly contradict her next statement. "Fatal mistake, Kyo. I am morally bankrupt."

Tohru rubbed her creased forehead embarrassedly. "Izi-chan, really, doesn't this ever get old?"

"I'm sorry, what part of 'morally bankrupt' is unclear?" She turned to the others. "You'd think they'd have learned by now not to trust me, huh?"

"You'd think," Shigure agreed. The others looked at their feet a bit awkwardly, being slightly afraid of the girl.

Kyo was practically shaking. He bit out a humorless laugh and looked her in the eye with a glare harsher than he'd ever given Yuki. "Fine, Izi-chan," he barked. "I give up. I can't trust you anyway, so just go ahead and tell everyone, right here and now, that _big huge_ secret I told you. Come on, do it; I dare you!"

Everyone looked from Kyo to Izi-chan and back with wide, curious eyes. Big huge secret? Yes, please. Not that any of them were very surprised; Izi-chan had dirt on all of them. She was just the type of person who could get the truth out of people, whether they wanted her to or not (most of the time it was not). However, none of them could think of anything Kyo could have told Izi-chan that was of any particular interest or importance--after all, with the exception of Tohru, everyone already knew about the hopeless non-relationship going on between the Cat and Onigiri. It was _that_ obvious.

Finally, Izi-chan smirked admiringly and exhaled. "Touché, Kyo," she conceded. "That was nicely played, it really was. Now, if we all got our hissy fits out of our systems, we should really get going right about now."

Slightly dazed that Izi-chan _hadn't_ told everyone about his love for Tohru--he himself had been bluffing the whole time--Kyo felt his jaw drop. "Th-that's it?" he choked.

Izi-chan, who had already started towards the front door, turned back to him with an annoyed expression on her face. "What, do you want a gold star and pat on the back?" she snapped. "We have somewhere to be, _baka_."

"Don't call me _baka_!"

She laughed and pushed him lightly so he stood next to Tohru once again. Grabbing her "mad scientist" colleague's hand, she ran out the door.

"Happy Halloween!"

* * *

**i think that ending was a bit corny... but whatev. next chapter they go to the party and a comedy of errors will ensue, i'm sure (my high self-esteem just JUMPS off the page, huh? oh, and **_**Comedy of Errors**_** is another shakespeare play, BTW). and, as i said way up top, my lovely 200th reviewer inu-rulz will get a small cameo (you go girl!). yeah, i have no idea whether you will consider that a good prize or not, but there's not much else i can do.**

okay, so i have a confession to make: i finally gave into the hype and read _**Twilight**_**. and **_**OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD**_** it was SOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking awesome!! i'm now on **_**New Moon**_**, and i seriously started crying when Bella went to their abandoned house but was too afraid to look inside. i really did. also, i'm officially in love with edward and i'm sorry to say but none of you can have him :-D. so please please please nobody spoil the ending of the second book for me, cuz i'm kind of a slow reader but i REALLY just want to finish it on my own. please and thank you.**

review ransom: 15 reviews. luv you guys.

Jax

PS) vampires are the sexiest mythical creature EVER and i'd let one bite me in half a second. just felt like saying that.


	21. Not in Japan Anymore, Toto

**thank you reviewers!! as always, your reviews make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. i lurve you guys.**

here's chapter 21 (i'm not even gonna comment on the number this time. not even that i'm amazed it has been allowed this far. whatev).

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, or The Wizard of Oz, which i am blatantly ripping off in the title of this chapter, OR the book _**The Truth About Forever**_** by Sarah Dessen, which is where i got the game Truth (my friends and i would not play something where we didn't have the escape option of Dare).**

* * *

Chapter 21 - Not in Japan Anymore, Toto

Kyo peered down at the girl sitting next to him in the cozy dark room. The elegant headdress she had donned at the beginning of the night had been lost somewhere in the process of the party, and her shoulder-length black wig was sitting in her lap looking not unlike a gutted stuffed animal. She heaved a heavy sigh, then turned her attention to Kyo and started slightly when she saw he was looking at her. They both quickly looked away.

There was an awkward silence for a few beats until Kyo couldn't take it anymore and cleared his throat loudly and determinedly. "So, um... " He sweatdropped, not being able to think of anything. Well, what _could _he talk to her about? It wasn't as if they had tons of things in common. He stared at his feet. Come to think of it, did they share _anything_ in common? "Is there... anything you want to talk about, Tohru?" he mumbled lamely.

She smiled shyly. "Actually, there is something I've been wanting to do." She shifted her weight so that she faced him. Staring at him with eyes misted over with _something_--Kyo had decided he would never understand what went through females' minds, especially Tohru's--and her lips, still painted red, parted slowly, delicately even. Something about her expression made Kyo anticipate an uncertain discovery or confession. His heart sped up as he prayed to whatever gods were up there and listening that it was the confession he dreamed of nightly.

"Kyo-kun... "

* * *

Rewind: Before anyone hid in a dark room or shed their headdress, the party was in full swing as Izi-chan & Co. arrived fashionably late to her friend's Halloween party. Tohru gazed in wonder at the dark atmosphere and... _colorful_ party-goers. They all had very interesting costumes, of course, but most of them looked so impossibly cool--or "anti-cool," as Izi-chan had said--and artistic and just effortlessly sophisticated and _intimidating_ that Tohru felt suddenly very small. She was vaguely reminded of the scene in _The Wizard of Oz_ when Dorothy first arrives in the strange new land.

Apparently Izi-chan saw the discomfort on her face, because she smiled warmly at Tohru and took hold of her hand. Feeling slightly better with Izi-chan by her side--since Izi-chan most definitely fit in with these people--Tohru smiled back. Their group strode into Izi-chan's friend's Victorian-style house, the party abode for the evening (and probably early morning).

Immediately, Izi-chan pulled her friends over to several people lounging on an aged settee. Pungent smoke lingered in the air around them--actually, Tohru realized, the whole place smell like smoke. Not tobacco smoke; somehow it was sweeter. Hanging in the air along with the smoke were the smells of alcohol (this was expected) and oranges (some confusion there).

Lolling on the odd-smelling settee were five or six post-college-age-looking people in costumes: a tiny, giggling green-haired girl with a pixie cut and chin stud was draped in ragged strips of cloth, holding a cigarette to her lips; a boy with beautiful chocolate-colored skin and dark dreadlocks wore camouflage army fatigues splattered with fake blood; a boy and girl with matching French maid uniforms and faces full of freckles had their heads together as they conversed with lips trembling with laughter; an extremely thin, shockingly pale girl with wavy, unnatural-looking fiery red hair was dressed in all black, holding a beer and scowling at everyone; finally, a girl with piercings and tattoos covering every visible surface of her skin sat in a flesh-colored leotard and curly blond Lady Godiva wig that touched the floor.

"Hey guys!" Izi-chan yelled over the loud music. "What's good?"

The boy with the dreadlocks and army fatigues jumped up--standing, he looked about ten feet tall--and engulfed Izi-chan in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning.

"Iz!" he yelled. "How the fuck have you been, girl?" He set her back down on the floor and grinned hugely when he caught sight of Tohru. "What a cutie!" He scooped her up in a hug not ten seconds after letting Izi-chan go.

Tohru, not knowing this man, did not react in the same way Izi-chan had, i.e. squealing and hugging back. She stiffened and attempted to push his (_enormous_) shoulders back, but to no avail.

Apparently, she didn't have to do anything anyway. "Put her down!" Kyo howled, thoroughly enraged to see Tohru manhandled (womanhandled?) by a complete stranger.

Dreadlocks put Tohru--dizzy and confused--down and looked innocently at Kyo. "Whoa, sorry, dude. Is she yours?" He put his hands up in front of himself. "Chill, I didn't know."

Izi-chan smirked and looked at Kyo and Tohru, who both blushed, but froze when she felt an urge to punch herself in the neck. _Tohru was right,_ she thought. _This _does _get old_. She sighed. _I'm being so sadistic. Aren't I supposed to be helping them?_

Back on Earth, Kyo glared at Dreadlocks. "No," he growled. "She isn't _anybody's_. She's a person, not an object or a piece of property."

His cousins were slightly surprised that something so... politically correct would come out of Kyo's mouth, but once the Tohru aspect sunk in they shared a mental group "Oooooh" and subtle nod.

The Sohmas weren't the only ones who noticed Kyo's surprising morality: Dreadlocks smiled again and attempted to give a third bear hug to Kyo. The Cat jumped back yelling something that sounded like "Don't touch me, freak!"

Izi-chan shushed him and pulled him away from Dreadlocks' arms. "He's shy," she apologized. ("The hell I am!") Her eyes lit up and she turned to her cousins and Tohru, pointing to them as she introduced them to her group of friends. "This is Momiji, Hatsuharu--call him Haru--Yuki, Shigure--you guys know Shigure--and Kyo and Tohru." She used her other arm to point to her... _artistic_-looking friends. "Guys, meet Marek, your host," Dreadlocks waved, "Keiko," the green-haired girl grinned, "Takami and Leah," the French maid twins yelled out hellos, "Misaka," the girl with the tattoos and piercings nodded her acknowledgement, "and Tarai," the pale redhead ignored them and took a sip of her beer.

"It's cool to meet more Sohmas," the girl named Keiko chirped, taking a drag from her cigarette. "How come Hatori-san and Aya-san didn't come with you guys?"

"Poor things were exhausted." Izi-chan sat down on the settee and gestured to her cousins to make themselves comfortable. "Is Z here yet?"

The pair of Takami and Leah laughed. "Oh, God," Leah said, touching Takami's shoulder subconsciously. "Didn't you hear? He and Ina eloped a couple weeks ago."

"No!" Izi-chan gasped.

"I know," Takami agreed, "isn't it crazy? Evidently, they were completely plastered when it happened. Now they're off _'honeymooning.'_" He rolled his eyes. "There's a pool going around about when they'll get an annulment, if you want in."

Izi-chan looked at Tarai, her mouth a perfect 'O.' "But I thought you two were going out!"

Tarai glared at her, and for the first time Tohru noticed the girl's ice blue eyes. She wondered why such a pretty girl was so angry.

"We were just fucking," Tarai mumbled. She reached into her mouth and pulled out fake vampire fangs. Feeling Tohru's gaze on her, she whipped her head around and sneered at the brunette. "What the fuck are you looking at?" she snapped.

Flustered, Tohru looked away and mumbled something incoherent.

"I _said_, what the fuck are you looking at?!" the redhead repeated angrily.

"Leave her alone, Tara." This came from Izi-chan, whose attention had finally been pulled away from her friends' conversation. "She's not looking at anything." Rolling her eyes, she quickly downed a shot of questionable pink liquid and continued her tirade. "Jesus, smoke a bowl and take that stick out your ass, will you?"

Tarai glared. "I quit."

"So did I! Go us!" Izi-chan chirped and slapped her friend on the back from her perch on Marek's lap. This seemed to irritate Tarai further: she leaped up from her seat--Tohru was floored by how tall she was, almost as the same height as Marek--and stomped out of the dark room with a few growls.

Instantly, Tohru was worried. "Sh-should someone go after her?" she stuttered to the group on the sette. When they shrugged her off ("She's a big girl, she can take care of herself."), she looked to the Sohmas. Momiji and Hatsuharu were mingling with some guests dressed as what looked to be pieces of fruit (so _that's_ where that orangey smell came from), so Tohru felt it would be rude to pull them out of a conversation; Yuki stood uncomfortably in a corner of the room, a strained smile pulling at the corners of his lips as girls old enough to know better fawned over him; Kyo looked away and then quickly back at her as if he hadn't been staring at her the whole time and raised his eye brows, like "It's your choice;" Shigure simply smiled at her with vaguely chilly eyes she didn't understand.

Ignoring the lack of anxiety on the part of her friends, Tohru debated the case in her head. On the one hand, she knew nothing about this girl--maybe storming out of rooms was normal for her--and in the short period of time she been in Tarai's presence, she'd been ignored and then treated rudely. Many more reasons not to go flooded her mind (what if she just got angrier at Tohru for trying to help! What if she was an ax murderer and this was how she reeled in her victims!), but the picture of the redhead's sad, hurt face stood out like a buoy in the sea of pessimism that currently invaded her thoughts.

With her customary I'm-Tohru-Honda-and-I-Never-Give-Up! determination now with her, Tohru sped out of the dark room after a stranger named Tarai.

The second she was out of sight, Kyo looked nervously at Izi-chan. "Will she be okay by herself?" he asked.

Izi-chan rolled her eyes at his unease. "Kyon," she sighed, "I'm going to say the same thing I said to Tohru, like, two seconds ago: she's a big girl, she can handle herself. If you feel concerned for Tohru's well-being, then go after her. But don't just go because you think she needs you babying her all the time. She's a lot stronger than you give her credit for."

Kyo felt his face crumple. Of course Tohru didn't need his help; that much he knew. Why _would_ she need anything from him? _God_, he thought, _I _know _she isn't some fragile little China doll_. _I _know _she can take care of herself. She takes care of three huge men on a daily basis, so why wouldn't she be able to take care of herself? _This much was reasonable_. Then why do I feel like she'll break if I don't protect her?_ _Why do I want to protect her so badly?_

Izi-chan's voice rang his ears, loud and clear like she was standing right next to him, whispering obscenities into his ear the way she did when he was fourteen. "Come on, Kyo," it said. "I think we both know the answer to that one."

It sounded so much like her real voice that Kyo glanced frantically at his cousin to make sure she wasn't tricking him again: sure enough, she was still perched on Marek's lap with a expression of confusion and a little pity.

"Look, Kyo," she started, "I'm sorry. If you want to go after Tohru, go after her. It's actually pretty easy to get lost here, and you know how she is." She cracked a half-smile at the way he jumped up and practically sprinted out of the room after the girl he loved so much.

She sighed. "Ah, to be young and in love." Looking at her friends, who by now were all smoking cigarettes, she shrieked, "When did we get old?!"

"Speak for yourself, Iz," the tattooed girl named Misaka scoffed. "Youth is a mentality."

Yuki pushed his way through a throng of people, narrowly avoiding changing into his Rat form, and frowned at Izi-chan. "Where did Honda-san and that _baka neko_ go?" he asked loudly over the music playing--music that sounded not unlike shrieking animals.

Feigning innocence, Izi-chan shrugged. "I think..." She paused, as if racking her brain for where one of the two had said they were going, and put a finger to her chin. "I think it was either 'bathroom,' or 'subtly leaving to make out in privacy AGAIN.'" She grinned at Yuki. "Ah, well. Whichever."

She cackled as he ran out of the room in exactly the same way Kyo had, and ran after him to share the fun.

* * *

"Tarai-san!" Tohru called through the dark. "Tarai-san! Are you here? Hello? Are you alright?" She looked around her bleak surroundings and felt very lonely for some reason. All these damned hallways looked the same, dark and long and too easily confused with the next.

Why did she go after Tarai again? Something about the look on the girl's face... Standing in the inky hallway in the unfamiliar house on the night when all evil and spirits supposedly came out to play, Tohru was at a loss to remember her specific motivation for diving blindfolded into gloom and shadows.

She leaned against a wall and let herself slide onto the ground. She felt her gold and garish headdress slip from the black wig, but did nothing to put it back in it's rightful place. Hearing it drop to the floor, the echo bouncing off the walls of the empty corridor, she felt even more alone. She hoped the Tarai girl was feeling better, wherever she was.

Tohru sighed loudly and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her head on them and mumbling a weak, "Happy Halloween to me."

She snapped her head back up when she heard footsteps, light at first but slowly getting louder. Closer. Her whole body was gripped with fear--silly, irrational fear, the logical part of her brain reminded her--and she felt goose bumps erupt along the length of her arms. That small, reasonable part of her brain (was that the left or right side of the brain?) told her that there was no reason to be scared--it was probably just another party guest, or--and she knew this was a bit of a long-shot--Tarai herself. Still, the cold fear dropped into her stomach and she tried to move her legs.

_Okay, Tohru_, _just relax_, she thought. _Count to ten and calm yourself down_.

_One..._

The footsteps were getting louder. How close was this person?

_Two..._

Damn these dark hallways! If it were lighter, maybe she'd be calmer.

_Three..._

She struggled to remember the few self-defense moves Kyo and Uotani had taught her. Not that it was doing much goof; her fight-or-flight sense was screaming out "FLIGHT!"

_Four..._

Maybe if she made lots of noise, someone from the party would hear her? No, should she stay as quiet as possible?

_Five..._

The footsteps sounded like they were right next to her.

_Ten!_

She jumped up and started running and baning on the walls, praying for a door. Tears stung her eyes and made it even harder to see in the darkness, but she kept running. Finally, she felt something cold, metal, and circular--a doorknob. She gasped with relief and puled and pushed and turned it, nervous sweat on her hands making it difficult. She heard the footsteps get too close and turned her head in the direction they were coming from. Another gasp, but this was from horror: a faint outline of a man stood about a yard away from her, a hand outstretched.

Terrified, Tohru kicked the door open and rushed inside as fast as she could, then immediately threw all her weight against the door to keep the shadowed man out. But he pushed back, and he was much larger and stronger. She felt her feet slide on the floor, giving way to the door and the stranger. She wondered, more calmly than she thought was possible in this situation, if she was going to die--or worse. She'd never get to see Uotani or Hanajima again, or Yuki or Shigure or Momiji or any of her friends. Including Kyo.

Oh, God. Kyo. She'd never get to tell him how much she loved him. What if he'd felt the same way this whole time? She felt the hot, frightened tears slide down her cheeks as the shadowed man pushed harder on the door.

"Get away from me!" she screamed, but her throat felt clogged and it was hard for air to get through.

"Tohru!" She froze. How did this man know her name? And why did his voice sound so familiar? "Tohru, open the damn door! It's me! Kyo!"

Kyo.

The fear immediately released it's grip on her body. The corners of Tohru's mouth twitched upward. It's was Kyo. She was one hundred percent safe. Standing up straight, she opened the door completely and looked at his darkened form. Although it was still dark, she could now easily recognize him: his silhouette unconditionally familiar and his orange hair practically glowed.

Now she felt stupid and embarrassed.

"Tohru," Kyo said, "are you okay? Why are you crying?" He sounded so much more compassionate than he would have been if speaking to... _anybody_, really.

"Oh!" She touched her cheek and came away with wetness. She'd completely forgotten her hysteria only seconds earlier. "Well, I was scared, of course."

He was confused and a bit hurt. "You were scared of me? Why?"

"No, not of you!" she rushed. "I was scared because I thought you were a murderer!" She smiled like everything was all clear now. Kyo frowned.

"I think I'm having déjà vu..."

"Pardon me?" Tohru asked.

Kyo shook his head. "It's nothing. Now, let's get back to the party before that _kuso nezumi_ comes looking for us and starts yelling at me again."

"I--!" Tohru yelped, grabbing the back of his costume. When he looked at her, surprised, she felt the blood rush to her face and she smacked her hand over her mouth, regardless of the fact she hadn't said anything embarrassing.

"What is it?" he said gently. Subconsciously, he unlinked her small fingers from his costumes and placed it in his much bigger hand. Tohru, however did not miss this action.

"I--well, uh, if you don't mind..." She bit her bottom lip. "Could we not go back to the party? I... It's not that I don't like Izi-chan's friends or anything, but they... I feel like this tiny little nothing next to them and Izi-chan." A sigh. "They're all so cool and confident. I'm not."

Kyo exhaled loudly and started stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. "Tohru," he said, "don't be an idiot. Those people are just that--people. Same as you and me." He smiled dryly. "Well, maybe not me, but definitely you. There's no reason for you to think you're inferior to them, because you're not. You're the most interesting and cool person I know, not to mention the kindest and most beautiful." Through the dark, he looked straight into her eyes. Both were grateful for the lack of light, for they wore matching vermilion masks.

Though Tohru didn't consider herself any of those things, hearing it fall from Kyo's beautiful lips made her almost believe it. "Kyo-kun," she whispered, grinning.

He grinned back. "If you don't want to go back to the party, then we won't. We can just stay in here."

Tohru, in her haste to escape being murdered, hadn't bothered checking what was in the room--or even if it had working lights. Kyo, with his Cat eyes, easily found the light switch and flicked it on, illuminating the room with a rosy glow barely brighter than it was seconds before. The furniture in the room was pretty minimalistic: black and red color schemes, a few chairs, a small table, and a low, wide bed. The main aspect of the room, however, was the bookcase overflowing with novels and notebooks and sketchbooks. Whosever room this was was very passionate about their books.

Kyo walked over to the bed and sat down on it so that his back was against the wall. Tohru soon followed and sat next to him, pulling her black wig off in the process and dropping it onto her lap. She wondered absently if someone had found the gold headdress she'd left behind in the hallway.

"Hey, what happened to that gold thing that went over the wig?" Kyo asked. Tohru smiled; he always seemed to read her mind.

"I dropped it in the hallway."

"When you were running from Kyo the Murderer?"

She giggled. "No, it was before that."

"Oh."

The conversation seemed to halt after that. For what seemed like hours, they kept quiet. It stayed that way until Kyo stuttered out his "Uh, anything you want to talk about?" (see above) and Tohru turned her body to face his.

"Actually, there is something I've been wanting to do."

The scarlet lips parted as Kyo felt himself become very, very anxious. He mentally crossed his fingers and swore if this turned out to what he wanted, he'd never challenge Yuki to a fight ever again. He wouldn't have to; he'd have Tohru, and all anger and fighting spirit would disappear.

"Kyo-kun..."

_I love you. I love you. I love you,_ he thought. _I am so in love with you_.

"... let's play Truth."

Kyo blinked. "What?"

"Truth. It's a game," Tohru clarified, cracking a half-smile. "Izi-chan told me about it--"

"Oh God," Kyo groaned. He was more than disappointed--even though he knew he had no right to be--and adding in a game taught by Izi-chan would surely set off his temper.

Tohru laughed. "No, no, it's nothing weird, I swear! It's one of those slumber party games girls play at three in the morning when they've had too much junk food and not enough sleep."

Kyo blinked again; Tohru's answer had sounded almost sarcastic. She must have been spending too much time with Izi-chan--a scary thought if there ever was one.

"So how do you play?"

"You only have to tell the truth. But if you choose not to answer , you lose." She smiled her hundred-watt smile. "Are you up for it?"

He didn't respond quickly--this seemed very tricky. What kind of questions would she ask? Would they both really tell the truth? What if she asked if he liked anyone? For that matter, what if _he_ asked if _she_ liked anyone? He foresaw many ways this could destroy their friendship.

He frowned. Wasn't friendship exactly what he _didn't_ want with her? Didn't he want so much more than that? _Yes,_ he thought. But he knew that was more than he could realistically hope for--he ignored the earlier situation--and, really, if he had to choose between Just Friendship and Tohru pointing him out to people as That Guy She Was Friends With Until He Went Crazy and Proclaimed His Love For Her, he'd gladly take friendship.

Taking his silence as not wanting to play, Tohru stared at the wig lying in her lap. "Erm, I mean, we don't have to play if you don't want to," she stammered. "Actually, you know, we should probably go back to the party anyway, because I wouldn't want anyone to worry about us or wonder where we'd gone, so--"

"Tohru." She looked at to see Kyo grinning and struggling to hold his laughter in. "You really are cute when you're all flustered like that." She was grateful for the rosy glow of the room covering up her blush. Kyo continued with a soft smile. "We can play Truth if you want to."

"Oh. Um, okay." She decided to start with something easy. "What's your favorite color?"

Kyo frowned. "Don't coddle," he scoffed. "It's insulting."

She giggled. "Okay. How about..." She paused to think again. "Do you really enjoy doing martial arts, or are you just dedicated to it so you can beat Yuki-kun?"

Keeping his eyes focused on the black-and-white-striped comforter on the bed, Kyo sighed. "Well, I originally started it because Shishou offered--back when I first moved in with him--and I continued doing it because of Yuki, but I just really love doing it." (a/n: that's what she said. sorry, had to say it.) He gave a small smile. "I feel very powerful when I practice, you know? It's like... I don't know. Not like anything else. The rush I get is... it's great. It really is." He turned to her, the smile still on his face. "Okay, so my turn now right?"

She nodded, slightly dazed by the depth of his answer. "Ask anything."

"Anything, huh?" he mumbled, narrowing his eyes. "Why do you let Izi-chan boss you around so much?"

Surprised, Tohru widened her eyes. "Izi-chan doesn't boss me around," she said. "We're friends, so we just kind of go where the other one goes. I do the same thing with Uo-chan and Hana-chan."

"But Izi-chan always makes you do weird stuff--treating you like a little doll or something."

Tohru chuckled. "I suppose it would look like she treats me like a doll, huh?" She shook her head. "Well, most of the time, I'm fine with whatever scheme she has in mind, but when I'm not, I try to find the reason she's doing what she's doing."

"What do you mean?" Kyo asked quietly.

"Well..." Tohru hesitated; this was Izi-chan's Truth she was exposing, not her own. Was that allowed in the game? "Izi-chan--she reminds me of a child in some ways. She says mean things without thinking, to protect herself, but I know for a fact that she often feels guilty afterwards." Seeing Kyo's unbelieving expression, she added, "Okay, you know that time when I fainted, when Isuzu-san came over?" Nod. "And how you brought me that leek soup you made?" Nod. "And how, after you gave me the soup Izi-chan made a... rather crude comment about us?" Colder nod. "Well, when we finally talked in private, she apologized for it. And it really was sincere," she rushed as Kyo opened his mouth to retort. "Really. I'm _sure_ I saw tears in her eyes. She's just afraid of being disliked. She's only human."

Kyo frowned. "See, I don't believe that. If Izi-chan was afraid of people not liking her, she wouldn't say the type of things she says. And what about her whole big feud thing going on with Kagura?"

"That's different," Tohru replied quickly. She knew she'd said too much about Izi-chan. "But, to answer your original question, I _don't_ let Izi-chan boss me around. If anything, _I_ boss _her_ around."

"You bossing people around?" Kyo laughed; Tohru let the melodic sound wash over her. "That's something I can't picture."

"It's true!" she laughed back. "I think I affect her decisions more than she's aware of."

"I can just see it: Tohru, manipulator extraordinaire."

"But you know," Tohru continued, still smiling, "she's also a really good listener. She's knows a lot of my secrets." Her smile faded a bit when she remembered the most important secret...

Kyo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she _is_ good with secrets." The laughter in his voice seemed to dissolve with Tohru's smile--he was also thinking about _that_ secret.

"Anyway, getting off the subject of Izi-chan, what super power would you choose if a radioactive spider gave you the choice?" Tohru clapped her hands together, not-so-subtly changing the subject.

The orange-haired boy grinned and said, "That's easy..."

* * *

"I swear to God, Izi-chan," Yuki growled, marching through the dark hallways with a flashlight in his firm grip, "if we walk in on them half-naked and making out again, I'll skin you alive."

Izi-chan rolled her eyes but followed him. "Oh, please, Yuki. I know you. You're too much of a sweetheart to ever _touch_ a girl in that way--or, you know, any other way." She smirked at his blush, illuminated by her own flashlight. "Besides," she continued, shining the beam of light every which way, "even if you did work up the balls to lay a finger on me, I'd put you in the hospital without breaking a sweat. Most likely because those balls you spent so much time working up would be ripped off and sitting in this hallway." Smiling sweetly, she paused--the flashlight had picked up the shine of some gold jewelry-like thing. She sat on her heels and inspected it closer, then gasped when she realized she recognized it.

She held it up for Yuki to see.

"Is that...?" He trailed off. Izi-chan nodded. They looked at each for practically a full minute, thinking the same thought.

_Tohru. Kyo. Both missing. Shed clothing_.

It wasn't hard to guess where that was headed.

"Kyo!" Izi-chan hollered at the same time Yuki shouted, "Honda-san!"

"Where the fuck are you two?" she shrieked. She ran down the hallway with Yuki a step behind her, banging on the doors that presented themselves and looking for some sort of light to peek out from under one--would they have bothered turning a light on?

They came to a halt when they saw a crack of rosy pink from under one of the doors. Not sure _what_ they would find inside, Yuki raised his fist to knock, but Izi-chan stilled his hand.

"Maybe we should listen to see if we hear make-out sounds?" she suggested in a whisper. Yuki nodded reluctantly.

They pressed their ears lightly to the door and struggled for some sounds--preferably non-make-out sounds. Almost immediately they heard a high-pitched "Kyo-kun." Definitely Tohru's voice.

"Kyo-kun," the voice continued in what sounded like nervousness, "you wouldn't!"

"Yes, I would," came the smug reply from who they assumed was Kyo.

Izi-chan was curious as to what he would/wouldn't do, but this exchange had been enough for Yuki. Enraged, he fumbled for the doorknob--not unlike Tohru had when it was her at the door--and tore it open with much more force than necessary.

"Get off of--" he started loudly, but stopped abruptly before he was even two steps into the room. Tohru and Kyo looked up, surprised.

Kyo frowned when his eyes found the Rat in the dim pink light, and his frown deepened when Izi-chan pushed her way in past Yuki. "What the hell do you two want?" he snapped.

Yuki still stood there, a bit shocked. "Y-you... you weren't... uh, what exactly were you two doing?" he stammered.

Kyo rolled his eyes like it was obvious and didn't respond, but Tohru chirped a seemingly-cheerful, "We were just talking." In reality, she was far from cheerful--this interruption was that much more time she was wasting not learning new things about Kyo. "We were playing Truth," she provided politely.

"Oh!" Izi-chan exclaimed, somewhat more relaxed. "I can't believe you remembered that from when I taught it to you." She looked around the dimly pink room curiously. "Yeah, I'd always lie when I played."

Tohru sweatdropped and gave a nervous smile. "Izi-chan, what about what you told me? That you had no secrets? What happened to that?"

"When did I say that?" she asked blankly.

"Um, the first day we _met_?"

Izi-chan continued looking blank, then nodded and waved her hand as if to say, _Oh yeah, that time._ "Oh yeah, that time. Yeah, I lied."

Sighing, Tohru looked at Yuki exasperatingly. "Yuki-kun, is something wrong? Why did you and Izi-chan go looking for us?"

Izi-chan rushed in with, "Everyone's drinking and smoking and popping God knows what kind of pills and readying up to sing Queen songs. We didn't want you two to miss out on the fun."

Seeing the identical expressions of horror and distaste, Yuki almost laughed. "Actually," he snickered. "We just wanted to tell you guys... er, happy Halloween?"

* * *

**  
it's called irony people. don't judge me. (wow, PMS much?) sorry, this FUCKING AWFUL HEAT is driving me insane, and it does little to improve my mood. i've been snapping at my friends all day. anyway, this ending probably would have been better if it was** **actually halloween, but what-the-fuck-EVER.**

okay, so sorry if the OCs came on too strong, i was trying my best to include inu-rulz's guest character. gold star to whoever guesses which one of izi-chan's weird indie friends was our winner. and another sorry to anyone who might've gotten offended by the 'smoke a bowl' thing. i know lots of peeps don't dig that, but in my opinion it's inevitable that people will do drugs, whether to alleviate pain, enhance an experience, feed their own masochism, or just plain boredom. whatever, what you do and don't do is your choice. i'm not trying to turn this story into a 'DON'T DO DRUGS OR YOU WILL DIE AND THEN BURN IN HELL' lecture, which is pretty much the gist of what they teach you about it in school (same with sex ed., just substitute 'do drugs' with 'have sex' and add 'get pregnant' to the list of bad things that will happen to you). as i said, what you do and don't do is your fucking choice.

so, getting away from the suckiness that is school lessons (DON'T END, SUMMER, JUST DON'T!!)--wow, was that really my point in that entire paragraph?--remember to review!! i'm gonna say 15 reviews again, just cuz.

Your Favorite Drugged-Up Authoress,

Jax (KIDDING KIDDING KIDDING. i know i'm nobody's favorite XD. yeah, you can just ignore my pathetic attempts at humor in that sign-off.)


	22. TA's and Truth

**thank you to reviewers!! when i read all your kick-ass reviews, the lurve just flows so freely out of me and into my fingers, typing the chapter TEN TIMES AS FAST as it would be without the Power of Lurve. (which makes you wonder: how slow a typist **_**am**_** i that this is TEN TIMES FASTER than normal? the answer would be very, very slow...)**

anyway, here's chapter 22.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, or the _**Mr. Tangerine Speedo**_** song (which is an ACTUAL SONG. look it up on YouTube).  
**

* * *

Chapter 22 - TA's and Truth

The only thing Yuki could comprehend was the fact that it was hot.

It shouldn't have been this hot. Really--it was November. By November, things were supposed to be chilly, bordering on cold. Not like this. Not hot. For God's sake, they were already in their winter uniforms! He glanced around the classroom at everyone looking sweaty and uncomfortable, pit stains under their arms and sweat beading ever available surface of their faces. _Of course_ the school's air conditioning system had broke the week before; no one thought it would matter much at the time. Mayuko had a fan plugged and and spinning with all its might, but it did little to reduce the sweltering heat surrounding them.

"Okay, so... in today's lesson, we'll... uh..." Mayuko fanned her face with the papers she held in her hand, looking close to dying of heatstroke. "God, it's hot." Deciding it was just too much heat to teach in, she looked at her students and panted, "Just do whatever you want for the rest of class," before collapsing in her chair.

Through the heat factor, Yuki distantly contemplated checking to see if his teacher really _had_ died of heat stroke. At the same moment he decided to get up and feel for a pulse, the classroom door was flung open, accompanied by a burst of cool air and a melodic voice singsonging, "Who's ready for a motherfucking _oasis_?"

Yuki's shocked eyes found Kyo's equally shocked ones, and for once they seemed to be thinking the same thing: _What is she doing here?_ (a/n: anyone else feeling déjà vu? practically the same thing happened in the very fist chapter, so i'm guessing you already know who is corrupting schoolchildren with her sailor-like mouth.)

"Izi-chan!?" Mayuko screeched, nearly falling out of her seat. "What is it this time? I'm _trying_ to teach my students."

Looking at the sweaty faces of the students, then the sweaty and annoyed face of the teacher, Izi-chan raised a single eyebrow. "Oh, I can see that. But, holy shit, is it hot in here!" Dramatically, she brought a hand up to wipe her forehead, drawing even more attention to herself in the process. Every eye in the room appraised her figure, from the guest slippers the school offered, up her long pale legs that were revealed by the shortest of miniskirts--borrowed from Tohru's closet, perhaps?--to a low-cut, form-fitting blouse. Her long auburn hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, completing her look.

"Izi-chan," Yuki started politely, "what _are_ you doing here?" The obvious answer was that she'd just showed up because she was bored and wanted to entertain herself, but just in case someone in the family had been in an accident... Well, he didn't really want to consider that an option. "Did something happen?"

"Oh. No. But the office though you guys might be interested in these." She gestured to the large cooler behind her nonchalantly. Instantly, everyone perked up.

Mayuko, especially, eyed it with hope. "What's in the cooler, Izi-chan?"

A wicked half smile shaped Izi-chan's mouth as she shook her head slowly. "No, I'm sorry, you're right. I disturbed your class. I'll just take these _ice cold water bottles_--" She paused, letting her words make an impact, "--and go. Sorry again."

"Wait!" Mayuko was willing to sacrifice her pride and pretty much anything else for ice cold water. "It's fine!" she simpered in an effort to seem friendly to a person who could ruin her in a second. Ironically, if she was in any other position at the moment, she'd probably be embracing her friend and asking her how Shigure and Ayame were (not Hatori, though...).

Izi-chan turned around--she's already made her way back to the door--in what seemed like slow motion, most likely to torture the class further. She mock-frowned, as if contemplating a difficult math problem, then let an innocent grin make its way across her pretty face.

"Weeeelllll..." She drew the word out, letting the taste of the word swish around in her mouth. "I suppose it _is_ pretty hot out. It would be mean of me to keep these from you, huh?" She waved to two gawky hall-monitors holding up the cooler--who had been overlooked by everyone before, unsurprisingly--to bring it in, touching each of their shoulders flirtatiously and nearly causing them to drop the precious water.

There were enough bottles that everyone was allowed two, and for that they were thankful--half their rations were gone within the minute.

Mayuko told the students to keep talking amongst themselves whilst cooling off and turned to chat with Izi-chan.

"This was _exactly_ what I needed," Tohru groaned contently, gulping back more cold water.

"I know, right?" Uotani agreed. To Hanajima, she mumbled, "I wonder what would happen if I poured half this bottle of Orangey's head?"

Tohru was horrified. "Uo-chan! You can't do that!" Out of the corner of her eye, she gazed at Kyo, blissfully unaware of his possible future discomfort, arguing with some classmates.

"And why not?"

"Because Kyo-kun doesn't like water." It made complete sense to anyone who knew about the curse: Kyo was the Cat, and cats don't like water. But when it was directed at someone like Uotani--someone lucky enough to be ignorant of the Zodiac curse--Kyo's hatred of water sounded rather lame, and Tohru knew it.

Lame and _hilarious_, it turned out. "He's doesn't like _water_?" Uotani snickered. "What, is he scared of it or something? Seen _Jaws_ one too many times? How does he bathe?"

"I, er, I know it sounds odd," Tohru said quickly, "but he, um, had a... a bad childhood experience at the beach and now just doesn't like anything close to swimming!" she rushed. This wasn't _really_ a lie, if one thought about it...

"I guess, Tohru, if you feel so strongly about Kyon not getting upset..." Uotani trailed off and shrugged; Tohru could guess the rest of her sentence. She smiled at her friend just as Hanajima said, "Actually, Tohru-kun, I'm wondering why you do care so much about him not getting upset."

Uotani, back into the game, said, "Actually, yeah, Tohru, why _do_ you care so much?"

"I--" She blushed. "Kyo-kun is my friend. I care whether or not _you two_ are upset. Wh-why would I feel any differently about Kyo-kun's feelings?"

Uotani and Hanajima shared a knowing look: they both knew it went deeper than that. Although Izi-chan was the only person who knew for sure that Tohru and Kyo had feelings for each other, roughly everyone else in Japan had at least a hunch about their "friendship."

"Oh Jesus."

The class turned at Mayuko's religious outburst and saw their teacher looking like she'd aged ten years during her conversation with Izi-chan--who, standing next to Mayuko, looked like she was glowing.

Mayuko sighed loudly. "Class, I have an announcement to make." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Meet Izuki Sohma, the class's new teaching assistant."

"Oh Jesus."

The second religious outburst came from Kyo, who's expression was practically identical to Yuki's: utter horror. Izi-chan was Home Life. Home Life did not intersect with School Life, _ever_. It would have been bad enough if it was _anyone_ from their immediate family showing up at school, but Izi-chan... The two exchanged looks that said _How the hell will we survive this?!_

In another lifetime, they might have acknowledged it as solidarity.

"Hi!" Izi-chan said perkily, as if her cousins did not just mentally agree on their absolute horror. "You guys can call me Izi-chan, since I don't like being called 'Izuki.'" She giggled youthfully and turned her cheer on Mayuko. "Should I, like, tell them some stuff about myself?"

"Uh, sure..."

"Okay! Let's see, I'm twenty-five years old, I'm related to Yuki and Kyo, HI YUKI AND KYO!" They cringed; the rest of the class snickered. "Ditto Momiji and Haru, whom I'm pretty sure most of you know... Um, I'm a Pisces... And I decided to TA your class because I feel like since _my_ high school experience was so shit--er, bad," she corrected herself after catching Mayuko-sensei's glare. "Since mine was so bad, I might as well try to make the next generation's slightly less terrible." She smiled a genuine smile at the class, who tentatively smiled back. "So yeah, that's prety much the gist of it. You guys can ask me questions about myself or whatever, if that's okay with Mayu-chan." Another glare. "I mean Mayuko-sensei."

The teacher nodded her consent. "But keep it short. Class is out in ten minutes and I'd _like_ to get a bit of actual teaching in."

Instantly, at least fifty percent of the class's hands were raised.

"Girl With the Cute Purple Bracelet?" Izi-chan prompted.

"Where did you get that shirt?' the girl asked breathlessly.

"Oh! Ayame, one of my best friends, made it! He's actually Yuki's older brother. He's very talented, he owns and manages his own clothing store, and he can make you just about anything in like--" She stopped when she saw Mayuko gesturing to her watch. "I'll bring a whole stack of flyers from his shop. You'd just _love_ him. Next question?"

She pointed to a boy sitting near Kyo; he asked, through his giggles and his friends nudging him, if Izi-chan was currently in a relationship.

"Mmm, not technically," she replied slyly. "We both decided it was just physical--"

"Okay! Next question!" Mayuko rushed. "Arashi?"

A less-than-intelligent-looking girl with a Prince Yuki Fan Club pin proudly displayed on her school shirt squeaked, "If you're _really_ Yuki-san's cousin, what's his favorite food?"

Izi-chan and Kyo smirked. Yuki blushed and buried his face in his arms.

"Leeks. His favorite food is leeks. One of the reasons he enjoys them so much is because Kyo, another one of our cousins, hates leeks with a passion. One of the reasons Kyo hates leeks so much is because Yuki loves them. It's a whole bitter cycle." She moved closer to the fan girl's desk and didn't stop until she was up in the girl's face. The Prince Yuki girl flinched and had no choice but to back away. "Now," Izi-chan breathed, "does that answer your question, sweetheart?"

The girl nodded meekly.

(a/n: i remember that in volume 9 it said that yuki's favorite foods when he was a kid were peaches and crab, but i don't think it said what his current favorite food was, so i'm kind of bullshitting on the leeks thing.)

Several more questions were asked, including how Izi-chan knew Mayuko ("We have mutual friends."), what she would do as TA ("Uh, lick envelopes? I don't know."), and if she was busy Saturday night ("Who's asking, short stuff?") before Mayuko started in a lecture. Whilst she talked, Izi-chan dutifully sat in a chair next to the teacher's desk. Although she knew it was rude to think it, Tohru couldn't help but be amazed at Izi-chan's obedience; she'd never seen her sit in one place for so long.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by quickly: the final bell rang throughout the school, much to the surprise of... pretty much everyone. Apparently they'd wasted more time in the heat than they'd thought.

"Er, class dismissed," Mayuko muttered, then added, "Izi-chan. A word?"

Izi-chan looked to her cousins and Tohru. "Go wait by my car. I'll be down in a minute."

They left, albeit a bit curiously, and as soon as the classroom was completely cleared out, Izi-chan ditched her polite TA mask and gave a cheeky smile to her friend. "So what's up, _sensei_?"

Mayuko frowned. "You know 'what's up.' Why are you really TA-ing my class?"

"Alright, truth time." Izi-chan hopped onto a desk, dangling her legs over the side like a little kid. She looked at Mayuko with eyes pooled with conspiracies. "But first," she mused, "you must answer me one question."

Mayuko rolled her eyes. "What?"

Izi-chan grinned, the conspiratorial eyes melting away. "Oh shut up! It's just one teensy-weensy question, I swear." She waited for Mayuko's reluctant nod. "Okay. You see my cousins and Tohru, what, about eight hours a day? Well, that's eight hours that I don't get to see and observe them. I lose forty hours in a week, and a hundred and sixty in a month. I can see your skepticism, so let me explain: I care very much about my cousins and friends, and that includes their relationships. I'm sure you've noticed something happening between a certain two..."

"Tohru Honda and Kyo Sohma," Mayuko sighed. "Izi-chan, before you start, yes, I've seen how they are together, but please don't make me interfere. I'm as hopeless as they are when it comes to relationships--"

"I've noticed," Izi-chan muttered.

Mayuko raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing," Izi-chan replied, feigning innocence. "Nothing at all."

Still suspicious about that remark, Mayuko continued. "I don't want to be roped into another one of your little schemes. Why can't you let them figure things out on their own?" she questioned.

The conspiracy seeped back into Izi-chan's eyes as she grinned. "You know, _Hatori_ asked me the same thing awhile back, when I first told him and the Trio about it." Her grin widened at Mayuko's blush. "So I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him. You being a teacher, I think you'll appreciate the amount of thought and effort I've put into this. Think, if you will, of the scientific method. I've observed--along with, like, everyone else in Japan--and I've formed my question: why do they act this way when they are around each other? Then, I created my hypothesis: they are in love, but are so emotionally crippled that they do not realize the other's feelings. At this moment, we're at experiment, so I can't give you a complete description of this step. Finally, conclusion--but of course, we don't know what will happen yet, do we? Best case scenario, they become a couple and the cur--" Her eyes widened as she stopped short; she'd forgotten who it was she was speaking to.

"What is it?" Mayuko asked quietly. It alarmed her to Izi-chan so put off her game.

"I--er, nothing." She tried to get back to their conversation. "Best case scenario, they become a couple and live happily ever after, and all that shit. Worst case scenario..." She winced.

"Izi-chan, _what is it?_" Mayuko demanded, now concerned. "And don't tell me it's nothing. _What _has got you so shaken up?"

She shook her head. "I... I can't tell you everything. Or, anything, really. But..." She sighed. "How much do you know? About the Sohmas, I mean?"

Mayuko shrugged. "Not much, I guess. Shigure-kun did tell me, uh, about memory suppression?" It came out as a question, testing Izi-chan. Would she think Mayuko wasn't quite right in the head? It did sound a bit crazy.

But Izi-chan just nodded. She said, "Yeah. Hatori's forte. God, I'm sorry, this is probably not your favorite discussion topic, huh? But, anyway, erasing memories is only the tip of the ice burg of what the Sohma family can--and won't hesitate--to do. Now, like I said, I can't tell you too much about all this, unless you want to face Hatori--er, in that way--but I will say that after high school, Kyo's options will severely diminish, and there's a very good chance that he won't be able to see the people he cares about ever again."

"Then why are you even bothering with this?" Mayuko glared at Izi-chan. "Why are you dragging me into this? Why are you even telling me any of this in the first place?" she spat. She didn't want to know this much. What would happen to Kyo... that sounded like a terrible fate, but what could she do about it?

Izi-chan fixed her eyes on Mayuko's anxious and upset face. "I'm telling you this," she stated, much calmer than she'd been just earlier, "so you can understand why I'm so eager to get those two together. This isn't just 'another one of my little schemes.' If this doesn't work out, someone _will_ get hurt. Most likely more than one person. I'm not asking you to do anything except let me be in your classroom." Out of nowhere, a cheesy grin spread across her face and her eyes lit up from their previous chilly glare. "And that is why I decided to take the time out of my extremely busy schedule to come be you TA. I _might_ even help you with classwork while I'm here."

Mayuko gazed at her friend--had she always been this deep and compassionate? She thought back to the time when Hatori and Kana were happy together, when she and Shigure were unhappy together, when she hated herself for falling for her best friend's boyfriend; all of it seemed like a million years ago. What had Izi-chan's place in all that been? Mayuko remembered her laughing along with the Trio's stories when they all went out drinking, adding onto those stories--but she just could not remember the auburn-haired girl so involved in her family's fucked up morals.

She must have jumped several feet in the air when Izi-chan's cell phone trilled out, _"Please get me a towel, Mr. Tangerine Speedo,"_ ripping her away from her thoughts. Izi-chan laughed at her reaction.

"Jesus, Izi-chan, change that ringer, will you?"

Izi-chan laughed again, then brought the phone to her ear. "Hello? Keep your pants on, we're almost done... Uh-huh. Yeah. No, I was just getting ready to slit her throat before you called... Of course I'm kidding! It's lovely how highly you think of me... Okay. Yeah, be out in a sec. Ciao." She snapped the phone shut and rolled her eyes. "Teenagers, huh?" She grinned at Mayuko.

Mayuko grinned back. "Don't have to tell me." She was surprised when, a second later, Izi-chan gave her a quick hug and peck on the cheek, then skipped out of the classroom with a final "Ciao!"

The teacher sighed happily. This would be one long year.

* * *

"I'm just saying," Izi-chan muttered over her tea, "don't you think it's weird that they're always running off to go talk? And not only that, but just _telling the Truth?_ I mean, what kind of game is that, anyway?"

"You're the one who taught it to her," Yuki said dryly, sipping his own tea.

"That's besides the point." She turned to Shigure. "Seriously, do you--in all honesty--believe that right now they're just sitting around, in Tohru's room, on her _big comfy_ bed, with the door locked, all by themselves, and they're just _talking?_ Yeah right."

Shigure smirked. "You know, Izi-chan, not everyone's as sex-starved as you are."

"I am not sex-starved!" she snapped. "I get laid fairly regularly, thank-you-very-much, unlike _some_ people I might mention." She stuck her chin out defiantly. "And on the _rare_ occasion that I don't, I have absolutely no trouble pleasuring myself!"

Yuki covered his ears with his hands in horror. "Please please _please_ stop talking."

Now amused, Izi-chan put her hand on Yuki's shoulder in a mock-motherly fashion. "Oh, Kiki, dear," she cooed, "don't be a prude. Masturbation is a natural thing, just your body's way of getting the otherwise unavailable satisfaction it deserves."

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Kyo demanded from the doorway, having caught the tail-end of the conversation. In his hands were an empty plastic bowl and two empty soda cans.

"Why, the Birds and the Bees, my dear Kyon! Come and join us, actually. Call Tohru down, too, for this is a valuable Izi-chan Life Lesson you are about to witness." She grinned at his panic-stricken, blushing face. "You see, when a mommy and a daddy, or a mommy and a mommy, or a daddy and a daddy, or sometimes two mommies and a daddy--"

"_Ohymygod!_" Kyo yelped, his hands in the same position Yuki's were over the ears. "I am so not hearing this!"

"What--Kazuma-san never taught this stuff?" she called, laughing, as he ran into the kitchen to quickly dispose of his trash. He ran back out a second later, back to the solace of Truth and Tohru.

"I'm telling you," Izi-chan said after he was gone, still laughing, "men do not run like that for just talking. There's definitely sex involved, and that's the Truth."

Shigure made a face and said, "Wow, that was corny."

"Hey, I'm trying to adequately wrap up this scene, which very rarely happens with this authoress." They looked pointedly at a brunette girl hunched over a computer.

(a/n: um, what? shamelessly un-meta, Jax...)

* * *

"Kyo-kun, what's wrong?" Tohru asked when he returned to her room. "You're all red!"

Slowly making his red-faced, wide-eyed way back to Tohru's bed, Kyo just shook his head. "Izi-chan..."

"What about Izi-chan?" Tohru cocked her head to side.

"Tried to... t-talk to us... about..." He shuddered.

"About _what?_"

He looked up at her and seemed to grow even redder. "Um, never mind. I-it's not important. Like, at all. So just--yeah. Whose turn is it?"

Still slightly confused--although unsurprised--at what Izi-chan's comment must have been to affect him so badly, she said it was his.

"Okay," he said, thinking. Then he smirked faintly--a bit sadly. "Ever had a boyfriend?"

She avoided his gaze by pretending to pluck a stray thread from her comforter. "I think you know the answer to that."

"That's not answer, you know." He joined her pretending to pluck stray threads. "And besides which, I _don't _know. You could have been the most sought-after girl in your elementary school, for all I know. Maybe all the boys wanted to hold your hand."

"Close, but I was the _second_ most sought-after girl," she laughed. "But really, that was probably the opposite of my elementary school career. I thought boys had cooties." She laughed again at the memory.

"Hate to break this too you, but you were pretty dead-on about the cooties," Kyo drolled, sending Tohru into another round of laughter. Seeing her in such hysterics made him feel laughter bubbling up in his throat, soon joining her out in the open. The two sounds made what sounded like a perfect harmony to them both--soprano and baritone.

When the laughter stopped, the silence that re-embraced the room felt much too heavy to them. Quickly, before things could get awkward, Tohru stuttered out, "So, um, what about you? Any girlfriends?"

Kyo, already sobered up, pulled his legs up to his chest. "Nope."

"Not one? I find that a little hard to believe." He was far too handsome and sweet to have never dated anyone.

He stared at her suddenly. His eyes bored into hers, and Tohru felt warm all over.

"That's hard for you to believe?" he asked quietly. "Is it really?"

"Well, um, yes," she replied, now suddenly nervous. "It's just that, you know, lots of people--"

She was cut off by Kyo suddenly enveloping her in his large, warm arms, her head against the soft cotton of his T-shirt. In that split-second of normal, human hugging before the tell-tale _POOF!_, the peace Tohru felt made everything feel right in the world. She had no clue that Kyo felt the exact same way.

_POOF!_

The small orange cat continued staring at Tohru from her lap, making his point very clear with just those pensive eyes.

"Oh," Tohru breathed. She got it. But, to Kyo's surprise, she smiled and scooped him into her arms. She even kissed to top of his fuzzy head--if it weren't for said fuzz, he'd probably be bright red.

"Your turn," she said pleasantly.

* * *

**yeah, that part earlier about looking pointedly at the brunette girl** **hunched over a computer IS me, and it's also very stupid. i apologize, readers. oh, and the whole sex-ed part was just izi-chan feeding off yuki and kyo's blatant discomfort concerning sex. (they are such prudes.) and just as a note, i'm aware that two mommies and a daddy does not equate to a baby--that was more material for the discomfort.**

this chapter seems a lot shorter than most, which makes my lack of speedy update even more pathetic. more apologies.

er, review please? i'm not gonna bother putting a ransom up anymore, cuz i'm hopeless at keeping update promises anyway. just... review. please.

Jax  



	23. Life Lessons with Izuki

**thank you to reviewers. here's chapter 23. one part in the last chapter made me REALLY want to do this, just because it's so funny to think of all the sexual tension and the kids' reactions to the subject (i'm pretty sure you can guess what i talking about by now). plus lots of the reviewers said they thought the first part was funny, so...**

and BTW, what they have to write on the fuchsia paper is something i ACTUALLY HAD TO DO in my health class. and then the teacher read all of them out loud. it was hilarious and disturbing (teachers should not say words like 'fucking' and 'balls'!!)

also, in the manga i don't really remember the kids changing classes for different periods--they just stayed with mayu-chan the whole day--so i wrote it like that. it's more convenient for this plot line anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

* * *

Chapter 23 - Life Lessons With Izuki

Even Mayuko had to admit, Izi-chan was really hitting below the belt with this one. Despite her claims on that first day, this definitely seemed like a scheme cooked up solely for the sake of embarrassing the students--in particular, the Sohma boys and Honda girl.

Honestly, it would have been awkward enough if it was Mayuko teaching the subject, or even some stranger the school hired, but no: since Izi-chan was a 'certified sexpert,' she had to be the one teaching Sex Education.

Not that Mayuko had any doubt concerning Izi-chan's sexual knowledge. Shigure had told her enough of Izi-chan's misadventures and horror stories to give that girl _some_ sort of prize (like free STD clinic visits for the rest of her life).

Well, no, that wasn't very fair to Izi-chan. According to Shigure, she'd acted out in high school because of her mother and sisters, and part of that rebellion included sleeping with the smarmiest guys she could find. Apparently all that stopped when she started dating--and fell in love with--a guy who was actually treated her with respect, but she went back to her old ways when he broke her heart. Of course, there were many details in that story that Shigure had conveniently left out, and the whole thing sounded like something out a shojo manga to Mayuko anyway. But it did give Izi-chan's situation a little perspective. It made her seem more vulnerable, more human.

She thought back to that morning, before any of the kids had come in. Izi-chan had sauntered in with the principal, a smirk in her face and stacks of paper in her hands. She'd announced to Mayuko that she found out about the students not having a real Health and Human Sexuality class yet, and she'd talked to the principal about 'helping' Mayuko teach the kids a little about where babies come from (and STDs, alternative methods of birth control, pros and cons of abstinence, coming to terms with your sexuality, etc.). In all honesty, Mayuko had no problem with teaching her students about these things, and having Izi-chan there would most likely slow down the lesson, but she hadn't had a good laugh in a while, so...

As the students filtered in, their conversations ended and the giggling began. Izi-chan had set up life-size diagrams of the male and female reproductive organs and systems, along with the words SEX EDUCATION written across the board in pink chalk (Izi-chan had taken the opportunity whilst writing it to tease Mayuko about still _using_ chalk and chalkboards). Sitting on Mayuko's desk--which Izi-chan was sitting behind--were two stacks of paper: one was an electric green color, the other was fuchsia. Izi-chan told each student coming in to take one of each. Once the students started reading the papers, their giggles increased tenfold.

Having had a few 'accidents' at home before hand, Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru were late to class. Mayuko, sitting out for the day, sat in the TA seat Izi-chan used with an amused expression on her face and watched to see what Izi-chan would do with the situation.

"Yuki, Kyo, Tohru, thanks for showing up today, huh?" she said haughtily. "Please take one paper from each pile and fill them out at your seat."

Tohru was, of course, was mortified at getting in 'trouble,' so she scurried over to her seat as fast as possible. Yuki the Uber-Student sat down graciously and politely, while silently cursing his cousin. Couldn't-give-a-shit Kyo ignored her and walked to his seat next to Tohru, business as usual. He then proceeded to lose his cool when he saw what was written on the green paper:

_LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX! (Don't write you name, or Izi-chan will read the class your answers!)_

1) Circle you gender: Male/ Female

2) Have you ever had sexual intercourse? If yes, was it with someone you were in a relationship with? Was the person male or female?

3) Do you consider someone who had given or received oral sex a virgin?

The rest of the questions got worse and worse.

Thinking--wrongly--that the fuchsia paper would be better, Kyo felt his eyes bug out when he read it:

_LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX! page 2 (Don't write your name on here, either!)  
_  
_On this paper, write down every term you know for parts of the male and female anatomy and sexual intercourse (slang included)_.

Needless to say, his prudish, virgin face was roughly the color of the paper he held in his hands.

He rested his chin in his hand in an effort to make what was about to do seem subtle and casual, and he looked to the girl to his left. Almost immediately he whipped his head back when he saw Tohru was looking at _him_, too. Tohru pretended she hadn't been staring at him by diving head-first into her work, although she was just as embarrassed as Kyo was by this, if not more.  
_  
What the hell is Izi-chan trying to prove with this whole thing?_ Kyo thought. _I mean, God, I _get _that she could break me like a twig if she wanted, and on top of that humiliate me. But why does she have to drag the whole class--and _Tohru_--into this?_

If Izi-chan could read minds she'd probably laugh and say that Kyo needed to stop thinking everything was all about _him_.

After five more minutes of awkward, giggly semi-silence, a timer went off and Izi-chan grinned.

"Please pass both papers to the front of the room. You may talk amongst yourselves while Mayuko-sensei and I will look over your answers." Apparently this was news to Mayuko, whose eyes widened considerably.

Uotani and Hanajima, who sat in the row in front of Tohru and Kyo, turned around to chat--and tease, in Kyo's case.

"So, Orangey," Uotani said cheekily, "what'd _you_ put? Lost the big V yet?"

Kyo glared at her, but the menacing effect he was after was lost in the redness of her cheeks. He crossed his arms and mumbled, "That's none of your business, Yankee."

"That's a no." She high-fived Hanajima, who accepted it without emotion.

"Who are you--Izi-chan?"

"Oh God, I _wish_. This Sex Ed thing is fucking hilarious. I don't know how she comes up with these schemes," she said, smirking. (a/n: i apologize. i can't think of a better word for 'scheme.' i don't actually like the word that much because it makes izi-chan sound more evil than she is.) "But I can't help but wonder if she actually plans on teaching us about sex. I mean, it's not like all of us don't know what bits go where, am I right?" she added, playfully elbowing Tohru, who was still a lovely shade of vermillion.

"I--er, I mean, I wouldn't... I don't..." Tohru stuttered. Uotani chuckled and hugged her while Kyo glared at the blond girl.

"Stop teasing her, wouldja? You really _are_ acting like Izi-ch--"

He was interrupted when a burst a very loud laughter sounded from the front of the room. Mayuko rolled her eyes--but smiled--at Izi-chan, who was holding her splitting sides as she shook and guffawed.

"Are they actually calling it that these days?!" she said between giggles. "I-I mean, that's ridiculous!"

Mayuko rolled her eyes again. "Yes, I know, but the kids are staring, Izi-chan, dear. Let's use our inside voices, yes?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your students, _sensei_," she snorted snidely, making 'sensei' sound like a four-letter word. "Hatori finds patronization _very_ unattractive, you know."

Glaring--and fighting a blush--she mumbled, "That's low, Izi-chan. That's very, very low of you to throw that in my face, especially in my workplace. That kind of unprofessionalism could make a person, I don't know..." She paused for effect. "_Fire their TA_. How does that sound?"

The students did not expect this to be a very serious threat in Izi-chan's book, but to their collective surprise, the auburn-haired girl glared back at the teacher. It didn't help her case very much that she was about three inches shorter than Mayuko and without her precious high heels for once.

Another collective surprise occurred next when Izi-chan smiled respectfully. "_Very nice_. I honestly didn't expect you to bring up the TA thing, particularly in front of the hormones. Er, students." She glanced at their makeshift audience disinterestedly. "You weren't serious about firing me, though, were you?"

"Nah, not really. But I might be if you piss me off enough."

"I'll keep that in mind."

The whole exchange reminded Kyo of a similar one he and Izi-chan had had on Halloween, when she'd set up Tohru and he with the costume thing. (a/n: see chapter 20.) Of course, Mayuko looked much more self-assured up against Izi-chan, and she was taller, which probably helped.

Apparently over her verbal duel with Mayuko, Izi-chan decided to acknowledge the students at last. "Okay! So Mayuko-senei and I had _tons of fun_ looking at your answers--especially when we realized that some of you forgot you weren't supposed to write your names." She paused to let the students blush. "And as promised, I'm gonna read them out loud! _Ahem_, let's see, for question two, Kyo Sohma put--"

"OHMYGOD DON'T READ IT!" he screamed. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ How could he have put his name?!

The boys around him started hitting his shoulders and laughing, while the girls giggled and whispered and Yuki rolled his eyes.

"Oh, shucks, I'm just kidding," Izi-chan said, sounding both amused and slightly bored. "This is just some random person's. It couldn't possibly be Kyo's, because they answered 'yes' on question two--"

"_Kyon is a virgin! Kyon is a virgin!_"

"--and they circled 'female' on question one." That quieted them down. Under her breath, Izi-chan whispered, "_Bakas_." Then, louder, "Don't worry, nobody put their names. Too bad, that probably would've been pretty entertaining."

Mayuko elbowed her.

"Okay, so, moving on," Izi-chan continued, "once my visual aid arrives, we'll start on that..."

At that moment someone called from outside the door, "Open the door please!" in an annoyingly chipper voice. Mayuko recognized it as Momiji Sohma's from one of the first year classes. Sure enough, when she opened the door it was the small blond boy with the perpetual smile standing there with a wheelbarrow full of bananas. Behind him was that Sohma boy with the black and white hair... Hatsuharu, was it? His face was blank, as if he wasn't carrying a wheelbarrow full of condoms.

Yep. Mayuko tried to stop her grin when she saw the little foil packets, but failed to do so. She even didn't care anymore that Izi-chan probably planned this to create sexual tension among her students; dammit, she was going to enjoy this a lot more than she knew she should.

Momiji, still smiling and holding up his wheelbarrow-o'-fruit, had been slightly confused as to why Izi-chan had specifically told the office to have her two youngest high school cousins deliver her "visual aid," but when he caught the shocked and mortified expressions of Yuki and Kyo, he could have peed his pants--er, shorts--laughing. Now his only regret was not getting to carry the wheelbarrow of condoms.

"Alright class," Izi-chan chirped. "It's time to fulfill a Sex Ed stereotype: condoms on bananas. If my cousins would be so kind, please bring your carts in so we can begin. Oh, and you're welcome to stay and join us if you want."

Opting to watch--but _not_ participate in--their family's imminent humiliation, Momiji and Hatsuharu settled in beside Mayuko with amused looks after wheeling in the goodies.

Izi-chan grabbed a handful of condoms. "Now, who can tell me what kinds of things condoms prevent during sex?"

The class was still relatively uncomfortable, so the TA said, "If nobody raises their hand I'm going to call on random people." At least five hands shot up at this. "Ah, that's better. Okay... Shinnosuke-san! Give me one thing condoms help prevent."

"Er, um, pregnancy?" a girl squeaked.

"Very good, Shinnosuke-san! Here's your prize!" Izi-chan congratulated before throwing the handful of contraceptives to the mousy girl. "Yes, always remember to use a condom when having sex. _Always_. I don't care if your boyfriend says he'll 'pull out before he comes' or he 'doesn't feel anything when you use a condom.' Unless you want to be that girl who dropped out of school because she got knocked up by her asshole of a boyfriend--yes, I said asshole--_use protection_." She glared at some snickering boys in the back. What sounded like magazine pages rustled. "Boys, is something terribly funny back there?" she asked bittersweetly.

"Oh!" They nudged a brown-haired boy--their feeble Alpha, it seemed--until he stuttered out a very eloquent "I don't know."

Izi-chan smiled at them. This reminded Yuki of the way crocodiles smile at their prey before attacking.

"Okay. I was just wondering, 'cause, you know. It sounded like you had some sort of magazine back there. Do you?" She batted her eyelashes.

Again, equally as eloquent: "Uh, I don't know."

"Well, if you don't know," she simpered, walking through the aisles of desk and swinging her hips, "maybe I should check for you." She sat down on the brown-haired Alpha's desk and leaned over, giving the boys a fine view of her ample cleavage and herself a fine view of the magazine in the Alpha's lap. "Ooh, Playboy, huh?" Quickly snatching up the glossy, she laughed and pointed to one of the pictures. "Let me just tell you: fake boobs, fake boobs, fake _hair_... oh wow, that's definitely fake... every inch of _that_ girl has been airbrushed, _aaaaaaand_ that's not nearly as fun as it looks." Then she strode back up the the teacher's desk and grinned. "Now how about you tell me another thing condoms help prevent?"

Mayuko, Momiji, and Hatsuharu stared at her appraisingly.

Deflated and severely humiliated, the brown-haired boy mumbled, "STDs."

"Excellent! You get some condoms too!" After throwing the contraceptives to the boy, she ordered Momiji and Hatsuharu to distribute one banana to each student. She herself grabbed more fistfuls of condoms and started tossing them randomly to the people who hadn't answered questions. ("Making it rain!")

Tohru was slightly worried she would pass out soon from the amount of blood rushing to her face, and when three or four condoms landed on her desk, she wanted to die. Watching Izi-chan prance around, throwing the little foil packets about with glee, it was one of the times she sort of hated her friend. Tohru was aware that Izi-chan did these things simply for her own enjoyment, which would have been bad enough if it was just Tohru embarrassed. But she could see how uncomfortable Kyo was with the whole thing, and this was what fueled the anger.

_I think we both know there's more to it than that, sweet,_ a sultry voice--Izi-chan's, naturally--breathed in her head. _What's on your mind with all this dirty talk, huh, honey bunch? _Without even thinking about it, she glanced at her carrot-topped Adonis--red-faced, staring at the condoms on his desk--and the voice laughed. _Or, should I say 'who'? Not so subtle, now are we, angel fish?_

Since it was the auburn-haired minx's voice floating around her mind, why wouldn't it use those adorable--if not a bit demeaning--little pet names Izi-chan often ended her sentences with? Most of the time, Tohru found them cute, a sign of friendship and caring, but when it was just the bodiless voice hissing them, expressing the thoughts she'd rather keep locked up tight, the names made her sick.

_Getting on you nerves, am I, bunny?_ the voice scoffed. Tohru remember a time when that voice had been a romantic one, hinting at her feelings for Kyo, trying to tell her something important. That time was long gone, it seemed. _Well, Scarlett, that job's over. What's a girl to do, beauty queen?_

_Cupcake. Sweetheart. Honey bun. Boo. Angel cakes. Sweet thang. Super star Girlfriend Super Girl Wonder Bra Jojo Babe Sweet Potato Princess Sleeping Beauty Duchess Chickie Rose bud BellaLadybugSunshineFancyPantsBruiserHoneybeeDuckieButterflyGirlie_

Tohru.

Tohru.

"Tohru!" Izi-chan shrieked.

She blinked. How long had she been spacing out? Distantly, she saw Uotani and Hanajima exchanging confused looks and Kyo and Yuki looking worried. She giggled nervously and stared into her lap.

Izi-chan raised her eyebrows at this, but merely said, "Keep your head in the game, baby doll." She tossed her an extra condom. "Now, as I said earlier, it's mostly a stereotype that people do this in Sex Education, much less make their students do it. But I'm kind of a bitch, if you haven't noticed, and I'm in charge for today"--she grinned at Mayuko--"_soooo_, yeah. Hold onto your bananas, kiddies."

The students were silent. Uncomfortable.

"God, that was a _joke_. You guys suck. You want me to make a That's What She Said joke instead? Because I thought we were past junior high."

Someone coughed.

Izi-chan sighed dramatically. "Okay, Mommy Izuki will give the little ones their instructions now, since they obviously aren't developed enough to deal with her big girl humor."

What happened next was a bit of a surprise to everyone: Izi-chan gave them clear, serious instructions and even demonstrated for them. Of course, they still knew what exactly they were doing, but coupled with the maturity Izi-chan was displaying for once, it was not nearly as horrible as they'd anticipated.

After the banana-condom exploit was over and done with, Mayuko--along with the rest of the class and Momiji and Hatsuharu--assumed she would through that maturity to the wind and go back to deliberately making the students uncomfortable, but she surprised them again. After calling the office to have them deliver an A/V club television to the classroom, she popped in a generic "What to Expect When You're Expecting" video and turned the lights off.

At this, Tohru smiled sadly. In those times when Izi-chan's floating voice made her seethe, when her non-floating voice was humiliating people for the hell of it, it was true that she did sort of hate her. But it was times like these that made her love the girl even more: this, of course, made her feel extremely guilty for being angry in the first place.

"Hey, Tohru," Izi-chan whispered. It wasn't the sultry, malicious voice that ripped the secrets out of her mind and flung them back at her. It was the real Izi-chan, her voice wondering and concerned. Tohru turned her head slowly to see the older girl crouched next to her, a question poised on her plump lips.

"What is it, Izi-chan?" she whispered back.

"Are you okay? You seemed a little out of it earlier. What's on your mind, doll face?"

Tohru winced. There it was: practically the very same question the catty voice had snarled at her earlier, complete with pet name. She silently thanked her lucky stars that it wasn't the same cutesy little nickname, otherwise she just might have had a full-on panic attack right there in the classroom.

"Tohru? What is it?" Izi-chan questioned quietly, slightly more urgent this time. Tohru wondered dimly why they weren't attracting the attention of the other students.

"Um, pardon me?"

"You winced. You looked like you were in pain. Is something wrong?" The rare, rare innocence in Izi-chan's eyes nearly broke Tohru's heart for the poisonous thoughts she was having about her.

So Tohru did what she was good at: she smiled and said, "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine, really, I am. You shouldn't worry about me."

Izi-chan's expression was dubious, like she was about to argue with the girl, but then she closed her eyes, apparently deciding not to. "Okay. Okay. Sorry, I was just wondering..." she mumbled. She stood up from her haunches, ready to go chat with Mayuko at the front of the classroom.

"Oh, um, Izi-chan... !" Tohru whispered suddenly, effectively stopping Izi-chan. "Um, thank you. For, uh, you know..." She trailed off, gesturing to the glowing TV screen, which by now was showing a fetus absorbing the nutrients its mother ate.

She got the point. "Oh, yeah, don't mention it. I thought you guys deserved a break." She half-smiled.

"Thank you. Again. I think this was very... _mature_ of you." She half-smiled back.

Now Izi-chan looked slightly nervous. Well, no, nervous wasn't the right word--more like jittery. Like the next thing she had planned would make her burst out laughing. Which, knowing her, was more than likely the case.

"Like I said, Tohru: Don't mention it. In all seriousness, _don't_." Then she winked, her half-smile turned into a secretive smirk, and she was off.

The rest of the movie finished with relative peace--except for the nervous twittering at the painful-looking birth scene--and as Izi-chan took the video out ("Why the hell are we still using VHS?"), the classroom phone rang.

"No I'll answer it!" Izi-chan shrieked when Hatsuharu--the closest to the phone--picked it up. Too late, though: it was already at his ear and he was mumbling a rather apathetic "Hello?" His eyes widened slightly at whoever had answered. His lethargic expression was cracked further as the ghost of a smirk formed on his lips. He looked at Izi-chan and said, "Your special guest is coming down."

She grinned, then looked at the class. "Alright, little ones, what he said. We have the honor of a very good and very important friend of mine coming to speak. He's taking time out of his busy schedule to come here, so I expect you all to show him the utmost respect."

Mayuko gasped. Good friend of Izi-chan's... His busy schedule... Utmost respect. She really, really wanted to shout some profanities at Izi-chan right about now, but that would most likely get her fired. She knew exactly who that witch had roped in to do her dirty work, but what was really terrible was she couldn't even be that mad about it: she really and truly wanted to see this 'special guest.'

Apparently everything added up for the Sohma teenagers too. Yuki was past arguing with Izi-chan--he merely sighed and rested his head in his arms. Kyo, however, still wanted to murder his older cousin for the whole day.

"Izi-chan," he hissed. "You didn't. _Tell me_ you didn't."

She let a smirk dance across her pink mouth and bit her bottom lip playfully. "I _might_ have," she said mock-innocently before someone knocked on the door. "Oh! There he is now!"

Momiji opened the door, then gleefully squealed, "_Ha'ri!_" Similarly, Izi-chan practically screamed her hello ("Hatori! _Darling!_"). Mayuko only stared at him, thought she'd later deny it when Izi-chan teased her about it.

Yuki and Kyo exchanged looks of exasperation and mortification. Tohru, seeing this, smiling sadly that the only thing they agreed on was their annoyance of Izi-chan.

"_Ahem_," Izi-chan coughed. "Okay, class, I'd like to introduce you to my cousin and best friend, Dr. Hatori Sohma. I've been told he was here once before."

Everyone in the room--especially the girls--trained their eyes on only the doctor. The attention made him grimace.

_Damn you, Izi-chan_. It was unclear who, exactly, the thought was coming from.

* * *

The whole thing turned out to be a lot less horrific then most of them anticipated. Izi-chan behaved herself as Hatori spoke, and he covered a lot of things that the students otherwise didn't know. Much like with the banana's and the video, it was handled very maturely, and it was a little sad that everyone was so surprised.

The sticky part came--no pun intended--afterwards. The final bell rang, setting the students free, but that just left Mayuko as the only person still staring at Hatori. Izi-chan gathered up the remaining condoms and stuffed them into students hands as the went out the door, and when they were all gone she put the rest in Mayuko's.

The teacher stood wide-eyed, still staring at Hatori, with a blush covering her entire face and part of her neck. She didn't want to start yelling at Izi-chan in front of Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome, seeing as she was his cousin and one of best friends. (Plus, yelling when Hatori was _right there_ would most likely not make her look very attractive or, you know, sane.)

Luckily for her, Hatori said what she couldn't.

"Izi-chan, how much longer will you act like a child?" he said, he brows pushed together like a dark furry caterpillar.

"That depends on how much longer _you'll_ act like a nun." She stuck her tongue out at him, backing up his earlier question. "Hey, do either of you need a ride home? I have to drive the piglets to Shigure's first, but we could all hang out afterwards."

Mayuko smiled softly at how she could switch from annoying to sweet and friendly in an instant.

"No, it's fine. I have my car," Hatori answered. Then, with slight awkwardness, he added, "But since you have three extra people in your tiny Bug, I can drive Shiraki-kun home. If she wants."

Happy news! Mayuko's blush found love with another blush, and they had a whole litter of little baby blushes. Her face was on fire.

"Oh! No! You don't have to!" Mayuko squawked. She saw Izi-chan cringe and sigh out of the corner of her eye. After forcing herself to calm down enough to answer Hatori civilly, she said, "That is, I drove here. So, thanks, but I'm all set." She smiled embarrassedly at Hatori, who--surprisingly--smiled back.

She could practically hear Izi-chan rolling her eyes at them as she said, "Well, if the issue of transportation is all taken care of, I'll just be driving my cousins and bananas home. Ciao, _mon petit abrutis_."

As she grabbed Tohru's arm and they pranced out holding the leftover bananas, Mayuko and Hatori could hear Izi-chan say, "Hey, let's have banana splits for dessert tonight," and Tohru's return squeak.

Then it was just them and the condoms burning Mayuko's hands.

* * *

"Izi-chan, isn't that Mayuko-sensei's car?" Yuki asked as he watched someone's car tire slowly deflate, courtesy of a certain auburn-haired girl.

"Just shut up and get to work on a tire."

* * *

**i'm going to assume my lovely readers can guess that mayu-chan get a ride home from our wonderful hatori.**

okay, pumpkins, here's the deal: according to my numbers, i've got 58 people who have put this on their favorite story list, and 60 for story alerts. i'm getting, on average, about 13 reviews per chapter (i even did the math). i totally appreciate the reviews i get, but this is making me feel pretty shitty.

i'm not threatening to discontinue the story or anything, because i really want to see this through till the end. just show me a little love, okay?

Jax


	24. Merry Fucking Christmas, Bitch

**Thanks for showing me the love, guys. I was being pretty bratty before, so thanks some more for humoring me.**

NEWS: We have officially reached 300+ reviews!! Holy shit!! Super-Mega-Uber-Bad-Ass thanks to xXxraikimikoxXx, the lucky 300th reviewer of _**Ties of Love and Friendship**_**. As for a prize of sorts... Um, send me a PM and we'll talk, k? Rawk.**

And sorry to anyone who does not appreciate my potty mouth in the title of this chapter. Here's chapter 24. (I have no idea how long this thing is gonna end up being, but expect a LOT more chapters.)

Oh and NOTE: Anyone who is not the biggest fan of izi-chan is probably gonna dislike most of this chapter, but Hang In There!, peeps. I provide the fluffiness this time, bee-yotches.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Chapter 24 - Merry Fucking Christmas, Bitch

This was not how the holiday season was supposed to be.

It was _supposed_ to be a winter wonderland of all those beautiful, each-one-is-unique snowflakes gliding gently down onto the world like a big white blanket. Not the cold and dry weather that hurt just to walk through. It was _supposed_ to be all cheer-filling-the-air and shit, happy feelings all around because you're sitting by a cozy fire drinking hot cider and listening to Christmas music. Not feeling bitter and cold as the air outside, knowing you only have that many more months left before you're forced into a cage like the animal you are.

Needless to say, Kyo did not enjoy Christmas.

This would not be that bad if everyone else wasn't so damn excited about it and constantly bothering him, asking him when he was going to get his holiday shopping done and telling him to get out of the way if he wasn't going to help put decorations up and calling him 'Scrooge.'

"Kyo, if you're just going to sulk like a little kid then go do it in your room." Ah, case in point: Izi-chan was usually the one yelling at him to quite being such a grinch. For whatever reason, she was eerily chipper at Christmastime, rivaling Momiji and Tohru's holiday cheer.

Kyo scowled at her and grumbled, "Why can't you be all Sugar Plum Fairy at your own house, Izi-chan?" She practically _lived_ at Shigure's house now. As if it wasn't crowded enough already.

She rolled her eyes. "Perhaps the mass amounts of cheer and happiness at the Main House just made seek your bad attitude," she said. The sarcasm was almost visibly dripping from her lips.

No wait--that was a candy cane. She had one hanging from her mouth. Kyo opened his own mouth to tell her she looked ridiculous--partially because she did, but mostly because he needed an outlet for that Scrooge in him--when she shoved another little striped cane in it.

He glared at her in a way that would make reindeer cry.

She laughed her little Christmas fairy laugh.

"Izi-chan, would you..." they heard Tohru trill from the doorway before she stopped and smiled slowly. "Kyo-kun, I didn't know you liked candy canes."

He pulled the little cane from his lips, examined it, then put it back in his mouth. "Eh. They're okay."

"Tohru, were you going to ask me something?" Izi-chan asked.

"Oh! Yes. Would you like to help me make some Christmas cookies?" she said demurely.

Kyo had to admit, when it was Tohru in her cute little red sweater and flushed face from the cold outside, he really didn't mind Christmas that much. Unfortunately, he couldn't even compliment Tohru on her excruciating cuteness, because Izi-chan was still standing right there, barely bothering to hide her smirk.

In response to Tohru's question, she swished the candy cane around in her mouth, not unlike Kyo had done earlier, before cooing, "Sorry, no can do, sweetie. Yuki, Shigure, and I were just about to head out to get the tree."

Tohru smiled and shrugged. "Okay. I was just wondering if you wanted to."

The look on Izi-chan's face was much more smug than it should have been for her next statement: "Yeah, sorry. Oh, but you know what? I bet _Kyo_ would like to help you! He _loves_ Christmas cookies."

Tohru moved her eyes to Kyo's red and angry face. "Is that true, Kyo-kun?" she questioned. This seemed suspiciously like something Izi-chan would make up to embarrass them.

"Um... yes?"

"That's great!" It almost hurt Kyo when her entire face lit up. "Okay! Um! We can get started whenever you're ready. I have all the ingredients and the oven is set, so, anytime is fine."

"Let's just get it done now," he muttered.

Izi-chan hung back when the two made their way to the kitchen. Watching them, she wondered if what she was doing was really helping them move forward at all, or if it was the sadistic shrew in her getting her kicks.

"Okay, whose turn is it?" she heard from the kitchen. Tohru.

"It's your's, I think."

Instead of Tohru asking her question of Truth, Izi-chan heard her exhale. "Kyo-kun... I..."

"Yeah?"

Tohru's light footsteps. Then, "Kyo-kun, I can't thank you enough. I really can't."

Did they not know Izi-chan was crouched in front of the kitchen, hidden from them but still eavesdropping?

"For what? They're just cookies." Despite his statement, his tone sounded slightly nervous to Izi-chan.

"No, it's not that. I... I know that Izi-chan isn't your favorite person, but you make a real effort to get along with her. So, thank you for that."

There was some clattering of things being moved and the shuffling sound of feet. Then--almost so quietly Izi-chan couldn't hear--Kyo said, "It's really not that bad. I mean, don't tell Izi-chan or anything, 'cause it would totally go to her head, but she's actually starting to grow on me."

Izi-chan heard a muffled giggle.

"Don't laugh at me! She's just--she's been a lot more... I guess more _trustworthy_ than I ever expected her to be. It's weird, because I keep thinking that if I piss her off she'll start shouting my secrets to the world, and then she just _doesn't_."

Izi-chan frowned at his lack of faith.

Tohru giggled again. "I know what you mean." Izi-chan scoffed silently at this, but Tohru--still oblivious to the eavesdropper--continued. "But that's really not fair to her. Everyone seems to regard her as this devious little she-devil, which she sort of is sometimes, and I really have no idea if this is stemmed from truth or not, but she has a way of surprising me when she's kind and considerate."

_Is there a compliment in there somewhere?_ Izi-chan thought.

Apparently Kyo has a similar question written on his face, because Tohru quickly added, "Well, wait, that sounded bad. Um--okay." She chuckled nervously. "I... I don't think she really deserves that reputation as a backstabbing witch. I mean, even if it's because she once was, people can change, right?"

"If only you knew, dearie," Izi-chan whispered. A sad, bitter smile pulled at her lips. "It goes so much deeper than that."

Lost in her own thoughts, she did not hear the next couple of words from Kyo. When she tuned back in, she caught the orange-head saying something that sounded like, "... the only person who I could tell."

_Tell what?_

"Really?!" Tohru squealed. "Me too! That's so odd. Oh, but if you think about it, it's really not. I mean, doesn't she just have something about her that brings your secrets out?"

Kyo grunted in response.

_Wait... Are they talking about me? _Izi-chan wondered.

"Yeah," Kyo said. "But it was really a lie. The truth is..."

_What what _what_?! What was a lie? Are they really talking about me?_

"It's okay, Kyo-kun. I already know. Everybody knows," Tohru said solemnly.

"They do?"

"Yes, they do."

Izi-chan heard an anguished sigh, then an anguished shout from Kyo: "ARE YOU SAYING EVERYONE KNOWS _I'M IN LOVE WITH IZI-CHAN_?!"

"What?!" Izi-chan squawked. She lost her balance from her crouch right next to the wall, and her arms waved wildly as she tried to catch herself. But it didn't help her--she crashed onto the floor, face first, right into view of Kyo and Tohru.

From her position splayed across the floor, Izi-chan was surprised to see the two already facing the door with their arms crossed--Kyo, smirking widely, and Tohru, shaking her head.

"Um..."

"Save it Izi-chan," Kyo declared. If possible, his smirk grew. "We got you."

_Ding. Ding. Diiiiing._

"Oh," Izi-chan said plainly. It clicked. They must have known she was there the whole time. Oops. But--did that mean those compliments before were something like a Christmas present to her? "Huh."

"You're not mad, are you Izi-chan?" Tohru questioned nervously.

"No. Not mad. Impressed, I guess. Didn't think you guys had it in you to pull one over on _me_. Good job."

"Um, thanks," Kyo replied, his smirk fading.

"Although, can I ask when you realized I was listening?"

Tohru glanced at Kyo warily, then said, "When we heard you whispering. Something like 'it goes deeper than something'?"

"Oh, yeah. That. Well, good job to both of you."

Now Kyo looked quite pissed. "You know, I was kinda hoping for a bigger reaction out of you. Screaming or something, possibly a threat on my life. Where's the Izi-chan I know and am not in love with?"

"Heh, you've been spending too much time around me, Kyon. You're starting to find joy in other people's discomfort."

Yuki appeared at the doorway with a confused look on his face, followed by Shigure, who looked unsurprised.

"Why is Izi-chan lying on the ground?" Yuki asked.

Tohru looked at her auburn-haired friend with renewed nervousness. "Why _are_ you still on the ground, Izi-chan?"

"It's not as uncomfortable as it might seem. Also, it smells good. Kudos, Tohru."

"Well, why was she on the ground in the first place?" Yuki asked, even more confused than before.

"I fell over when Kyo proclaimed his love for me. I'm surprised you didn't hear him shout it."

Yuki's eyebrows shot up as he whipped his gaze to the Cat, who glared at him. "Mazel tov, _baka neko._"

"It's not what you think, _kuso nezumi_," Kyo scoffed. "Me and Tohru were playing a prank on her."

Now surprise registered on Shigure's face. He crouched down closer to Izi-chan's face and said, "They suckered you?! Little Kyon and Tohru-kun?"

"I know, right? The little ones are growing up!"

Kyo growled.

"I'm kidding, you big baby. I admitted defeat, didn't I? Now, help me up, Shigure." After being pulled to her feet by the Dog, she put her hands on her hips and announced they would now go find a suitable Christmas tree.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she chirped before pulling Yuki and Shigure out the door with her. Kyo rolled his eyes, even though he knew she couldn't see it.

He turned to Tohru. "So. Cookies, huh?"

* * *

"Oh my gosh, don't they smell delicious?" Tohru squealed as she took the perfectly done, magazine-cover-flawless cookies out of the oven.

"Good enough to eat," Kyo replied before snatching up a tree-shaped gingerbread morsel and stuffing it into his mouth. Immediately after, he shouted, "HOLY _SHIT_ THAT'S _HOOOOOOT_!" and chugged as much eggnog as he could fit in his mouth.

"Kyo-kun, are you okay?" Tohru asked, worried but slightly amused; that was exactly something a little kid--or Izi-chan--would do.

"Why didn't you tell me they were hot?" he whined between gulps of more eggnog. "And my God! _Where_ did you get this eggnog? I want to marry it!"

He was confused to see Tohru's distressed expression.

"What?"

"Um, I think that might be the 'special' eggnog Izi-chan was making earlier." She cringed when she looked at the pitcher he'd drunk from--on the side, where he couldn't see, it said _Don't touch Izi-chan's 'nog!_ on a piece of duct tape.

Kyo mumbled something that sounded like "fuck," then said, "And what exactly is Izi-chan's definition of 'special?'"

"Well, there is possibly some or a lot of alcohol in it."

It took maybe a second for the both of them to mentally replay their shared adventure with sake--and everything that entailed. They looked at each other, faces too warm for comfort at remembering, before Kyo shouted, "I think I'll have some coffee!"

"I'll go take a shower!" Tohru shouted back. _A cold shower..._ she thought.

"Okay!"

"Okay!"

_Well, that wasn't too cripplingly awkward,_ Kyo thought sarcastically. After a few more seconds of cursing himself and pacing, Tohru's earlier shriek--and particularly the word "shower"--finally sunk in. __

Ha, la la la, so not thinking about her in the shower, la la la, not thinking about getting in with her...

Was crisis spelled F-U-C-K-E-D? His was.

_Okay me! Snap the fuck out of it! _he shouted mentally_. Those are bad thoughts! If I touch her, not only will she be completely terrified but I will be _murdered, _slowly and painfully._

He slapped himself for good measure.

Several slaps later, he managed to convince himself that if he just kept away from whatever bathroom Tohru was using, they'd both be safe--Tohru could keep her virginity and he could keep his skin.

He should have known that this uncomfortable but manageable mood was not meant to last: almost immediately after he'd taken a pleasantly-warm cookie from the tray that was still on the counter, he heard the front door open and Izi-chan sing-song, "Look who _we_ found!"

Eye roll.

"Let me guess," he grumbled, "some stupid rats crawled into the tree to be close to Yuki?" Then he froze and added, "Fuck..."

"How're your holidays going so far, Orangey?" Uotani said cheekily. Just what he needed.

"Jesus H. Christ..."

"Close, but no."

That damn cocky blonde stood in between Hanajima--even better!--and Izi-chan. Behind them Kyo could see Yuki and Shigure and a large burst of green.

"Careful with the tree, guys," Izi-chan warned over her shoulder.

Tohru chose that moment to step out wearing only a bathrobe, timidly calling, "Kyo-kun, would you mind terribly if I used your some of your shampoo? All of mine is..." Upon seeing the group standing at the door, she blushed and stuttered, "Y-you're home."

"We're home."

"Um, the, uh, cookies are done. If you guys want some," she said.

"Ooh!" Shigure yelped, promptly letting go of his end of the tree and running to the kitchen hungrily.

"Shigure, what the hell?!" Yuki barked--the holiday season was working on his nerves, too.

Izi-chan, who had yelled something similar only with more curse words, turned to Kyo and snapped, "Get your ass over there and _help him!_"

He glared at her but did what he was told.

What a merry, merry Christmas this was turning out to be.

* * *

"Hey, who drank my eggnog?"

_Shit, _Kyo thought. The Christmas tree was sitting bare on its stand after many a bickering between him and Yuki. He _so_ did not need Izi-chan getting all up in his face for mistakingly drinking her "special" eggnog.

"Kyo..."

"No. It wasn't me."

"Let me smell your breath."

"I didn't drink your stupid eggnog! Why would I want a spiked Christmas drink anyway?"

Izi-chan smirked at him. "How'd you know it was spiked?"

_Shit. Again_.

"Dammit Kyo! I was saving that for the..." She stopped, bit her lip, and half-smirked-half-frowned.

He was instantly wary. "For the what?"

"For the your face," she snapped.

"How old are you again?" Yuki asked dryly from under the kotatsu.

"Your face."

"That doesn't even make _sense_."

"'Your face' always makes sense."

Shigure snickered. "So does your mom."

The two "adults" laughed loudly and fully.

"Okay," Izi-chan said, moving closer to him, "see, _this_ is why we're friends. I _love_ this guy!"

Kyo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, as interesting as this whole conversation is, can you at least reassure me that that pause before when I asked what the eggnog was for was not because of some Christmas party you're going to throw? Just _please_ tell me that."

She glanced sideways at Shigure, and they both grinned and elbowed each other lightly.

"Oh, Izi-chan, you didn't!" Kyo groaned.

"What can I say, Koko-chan? You know me too well." She shook her head, giggling a little. "It was supposed to be a surprise, but for whatever reason you people seem to not like my surprises. Anyway, I figured since I can't throw a big cool New Year's party 'cause of the stupid Main House thing, it would be fun to include Tohru in a Christmas party with everyone. I thought you guys would like it."

For a moment, the two teenage boys were silent. Yuki cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Actually, Izi-chan," he started slowly, "that seems like a very nice idea. It might be fun to have a holiday party with Honda-san, since she'll be alone on New Year's."

Kyo--ready to mumble something resembling Yuki's statement--felt his eyes widen and then narrow. A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat.

"What the hell do you mean, she'll be alone on New Year's?" he snapped at the Rat. "_I'm_ sure as hell not going back this year, and I didn't think you were after last year, either."

Yuki moved his suddenly-chilly glance to his orange-headed cousin. "Not that it's any of _your_ business, _baka neko_, but I was thinking about actually confronting Akito this year, even though I'd rather not."

Kyo bristled and said, "What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying I'm weak for not going back and abandoning Tohru?"

"I said nothing of the sort, you _baka_." Yuki glared.

Kyo glared back.

The air grew thick with tension and you could practically hear the Old Western standoff music playing. It was rare for the two to not act on their hostility, to just shoot daggers through their eyes, but from the mixture of Tohru's calming aura and Izi-chan's exhausting one, they just couldn't muster up the fighting spirit.

"Oh, thank God!" Izi-chan shrieked abruptly, startling the Cat and Rat out of their silent dual. They looked up to see Tohru, Uotani, and Hanajima watching the petty argument.

"Thank God!" Izi-chan repeated. "Get your distinctly female asses over here! Please, please, anything to thin out the testosterone in here. Quickly, before I grow a pair of nads and start punching things!"

Uotani laughed and plopped herself down next to the drama queen, her new idol. "So what's this we're hearing about a Christmas party, Izi-chan?"

"I assume you heard everything already, so I'll just tell you you're invited. You too, Saki," she added, talking over Uotani's head to the mysterious black-haired mistress.

"Thank you," she said quietly in her eerie voice.

Izi-chan frowned at something, then put her hand on Uotani's head like one would do a dog. "Looks like it's time for _someone_ to touch up her roots!" she sing-songed.

Uotani groaned and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I don't usually let it get this bad, but I ran out of dye and I've been working like crazy to earn enough dough for Christmas presents, which leaves, like, _zero_ time for my hair."

"Ooh! Let's go out and get some now!" Izi-chan squealed, practically bouncing in her seat like a little kid.

"What, hair dye? Do you even know how to use it properly?" Uotani questioned.

She rolled her eyes like the answer should have been obvious. She huffed, "I was way into dying my hair a lot when I was in high school."

This was news to Tohru and every other person under the kotatsu, minus Shigure--he had witnessed Izi-chan's teen years first-hand, after all.

"I didn't know that, Izi-chan," Tohru said, smiling at the new fact about her friend.

"Yeah, I wanted to piss off my mom. Didn't turn out exactly the way I'd planned, though."

For whatever reason, it was very hard for Tohru to picture Izi-chan as a _daughter_, or even a _sibling_. To Tohru's (limited) knowledge of Izi-chan's immediate family, she had two older sisters, which didn't fit at all for her personality: Izi-chan was not the baby sister type. The same went for her mother. Izi-chan was someone who could be easily pictured in a setting as ordinary as a home, a parent's arms, being born, any of it. She was not _born_. She simply _was_.

Now that she thought about it, Tohru could not recall Izi-chan ever talking about her mother or sisters, except for that very first day in Shigure's living room.

"Well," Izi-chan had said. Tohru distinctly remembered those silver bangles on her wrists, the _clink clink clink_ of them creating a sort of theme music for Izi-chan's words. "Well," she had said, "I have two older sisters--one is Shigure's age, the other almost thirty--and my parents got divorced when I was young. My father remarried a nice American woman; I like her a lot." Then, very quickly, she started talking about her passion for photography. Tohru hadn't thought twice about it at the time, but now she wondered if there was much more to it.

"Dammit Shigure, if you show them those stupid photographs I will shave off your eyebrows while you sleep! Don't think I won't!" Izi-chan commanded back in the present. Tohru was slightly confused to see her putting her boots back on and tying her scarf around her neck, and even more confused to see Uotani and Hanajima doing similar rituals.

"Are you guys leaving?" she asked bemusedly.

Uotani looked at her. "No, Tohru. We said just a few seconds ago that we're going to stop by the drug store for some hair dye. Where were you?"

She flushed prettily. "Oh, yeah, spacing out, heh," she giggled nervously. "But, um, what photographs were Izi-chan referring to?"

"Shigure was teasing her about some pictures of her when was our age," Kyo answered, trying to sound bored. Tohru could sense that he, too, was more than a little curious about Izi-chan's origin story. Had she been a gawky, self-conscious nerd of a girl? An ugly duckling? Cripplingly shy? Had she been the same social butterfly she was today, just smaller and less cultured?

"Oh!' Izi-chan gasped from the front door. "Ha'ri! I'm heading out this second but please please _please_ don't let Shigure show them the pictures of me." A small cheek kiss was heard, and then Hatori appeared and Izi-chan vanished.

After Shigure squealed about, asking Hatori about his sudden visit ("I just thought I'd stop by."), the Dragon let one of his rare smiles grace his features.

"So," he said to Shigure, "the pictures?"

Seemingly from nowhere, Shigure produced a thin photo album and grinned. "I wish Aaya was here to enjoy them with us."

"What's so important about these pictures?" Yuki asked. They were significant enough to make Hatori smile and Shigure... well, this was pretty much just how Shigure acted anyway, but for Hatori it was odd.

Shigure placed the album on the table carefully, but did not open it. His eyes were soft, if not a tiny bit chilly. "Well, seeing as Izi-chan is our usual photographer, we don't get many opportunities to tear the camera off her face," he clarified, "but more than that, her adolescence was... complicated. This kind of documents it, you could say, and Izi-chan doesn't necessarily like to remember all of it. She has a pretty selective memory when it comes to her high school experience." With that, he opened the album.

Looking through the photo album--the "documentation," as Shigure had put it--didn't feel, to Tohru like they were completely real. Similar to trying to picture Izi-chan in a home environment, seeing her as a teenager was surreal, to say the least.

Several things in the album shocked Tohru to no end. The first was that Izi-chan had been short.

"She's so tiny!" Tohru squealed, pointing at the group picture of Shigure, Hatori, Ayame, and the auburn-haired girl. Izi-chan was fourteen-almost-fifteen, just about to enter high school, so that meant the boys were around sixteen or seventeen. They had already hit their relative growth spurts, but Izi-chan, it seemed, had not grown up--she'd grown out.

Her comically large, balloon-like breasts were especially prominent when she stood, like in the picture, between Ayame and Hatori. She was at least a head shorter than her silver-haired god of a friend, and she barely came up to the middle of Hatori's shoulder.

"But, I mean, she looks like a model now," Tohru said. "She's all tall and everything..."

Hatori shrugged. "She grew up. On the outside, anyway."

"Thank God the boobs stayed the same, though," Shigure laughed. Hatori slapped the back of his head, and they dove back into the pictures of their history.

The second thing that shocked Tohru was the number of different hair colors Izi-chan sported in the pictures. Her flippant description of it earlier had not prepared Tohru for the rainbow that was flaunted: red, then blue, then bubblegum pink, then vibrant green and deep purple and wild orange and red again, bloody red, then a sort of teal, then finally her auburn. She'd styled the dye so that the bottom half was the only part being treated, and abruptly, all trace of unnatural color was gone, she'd cut her hair short and uneven and angular, and Tohru wondered why.

Shigure smiled at the picture, against the glare that Izi-chan shot from the past. In answer to Tohru's question of why, he said, "She was just like that. Doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. One day she looked like an exotic parrot with that crazy blue-green colored hair, and then she decided to cut her hair with nail scissors in Ayame's bathroom. Aaya, of course, freaked out, yelling about wasting that gorgeous hair of hers, but she just shrugged and said, 'It'll grow back.'" He looked at Hatori. "Remember that? 'It'll grow back.' So casually. She'd never do something like that now."

"She might, if she hears you said she wouldn't." He smiled affectionately at his own memories. "No, though, she loves her hair too much these days to cut it like that."

The third thing to send wave after wave of shock through Tohru's system was Kagura. She'd nearly forgotten that Izi-chan had once been best friends with her. Seeing the Boar with her arms slung around Izi-chan's shoulder or waist, their friendly faces (and their _young_ faces for that matter--Kagura ranged from eight and up in the photos) was slightly unsettling. She didn't ask questions about those pictures--no one did, it was too awkward--although she did wonder why Izi-chan kept the evidence of her friendship with Kagura.

There were several mug shots in the album--Izi-chan beamed up from each of them, of course. This did not surprise Tohru at all, nor did the charges that went along with the shots (public indecency, breaking and entering, stealing, etc.). Similarly, Izi-chan had her middle finger proudly displayed in more than one photo, most of them featuring that gorgeous smiling face of hers. At least half the pictures of her were ones she wasn't aware were being taken. In those, she looked so serene and young that it was hard to think of that person as the loud and crazy Izi-chan.

In the pictures where she was aware there was a camera, she usually had one of the Mabudachi Trio with her and a goofy expression on her face. Tohru found herself laughing out loud at these pictures.

Throughout the photographs, Tohru watched Izi-chan grow up. Slowly, her body elongated and her hair grew out again, the baby fat melted away and she became the vixen she was today.

The fourth thing that shocked Tohru was that Izi-chan was capable of crying. It was two separate pictures--in one, she was a teenager, the other a small child--and it was not dainty or pretty. Her face was covered with pink splotches, eyes red and puffy and leaking too many tears. Tohru was sure that if she'd been there, it would have been very loud and there would've been snot and many tissues involved. In both pictures, despite her older age in the second photo, a little girl was crying. She was so small and vulnerable.

"Shigure-san," Tohru said softly without taking her eyes off the photos, "why do you keep pictures of Izi-chan crying?"

Hatori answered for him. "To remind ourselves that she's human."

Then there were the strangers. Most were just friends from Izi-chan's school or boys from the Trio's class who liked her. In several she was kissing a boy--never the same one twice, of course. One or two featured her kicking the shit out of boys who'd grabbed her butt from behind.

"Did that--happen to her a lot?" Yuki asked.

"Oh yeah," Shigure replied casually, "all the time. Especially with that tiny school skirt of hers. She actually liked the attention most of the time..."

Tohru chose not to comment on that. She turned a page in the album and saw more strangers. This time, however, they seemed oddly familiar.

"Oh, these are her sisters," Hatori said, pointing to a picture of a sulking Izi-chan and two older auburn-haired girls. "Reika and Emi."

Her sisters were as gorgeous as Izi-chan was, of course, but to Tohru, they seemed much nastier. They lacked Izi-chan's warmth. The oldest, Emi, had her hair down past her waist, auburn like Izi-chan's but ironed stick-straight. She wore stylish black eyeglasses and a tight-fitting twinset, her lovely mouth open in a taunting laugh. The second sister, Reika, was possibly more beautiful than the other two combined, or perhaps it looked that way because she enhanced her beauty more. She had the same auburn hair as her sisters, of course: she kept hers shorter than Emi's but longer than Izi-chan's, set in a sexy bed head fashion that framed her made-up face flawlessly. Her skirt matched Izi-chan's, as they went to the same school, but she'd made it so hers looked much sexier. Her school shirt stretched across her ample chest so much it looked like something would burst if she breathed too hard.

Izi-chan sat in the corner of the photo, her hair cut jagged at her shoulders, her face pulled and scrunched into a scowl.

Tohru cleared her throat. "Were they... were her sisters not that nice to her?"

"You could say that." Shigure smirked. "The two of them had a little saying: Emi got all the brains, Reika got all the beauty, and Izi-chan got all the rest."

"And they _always_ called her 'Izuki,'" Hatori added. "They still do, on the rare occasion they visit. It drives her crazy." That said, the subject was decidedly dropped.

On the next page, an eight-or-so year old Izi-chan beamed at an infant in her arms.

"Who's the baby?" Kyo questioned.

"Her half-brother."

"I didn't know she had a half-brother!" Tohru exclaimed. "All she said was her father remarried an American woman."

"Yes, her father and Liz--Elizabeth, her stepmother--had a baby boy when Izi-chan was eight," Shigure said. "Which would make him your age now, actually... Huh. Anyway, they had twins, too; they're in middle school now. Rosalie and Celia. Gorgeous kids, all of them."

"What's her brother's name?" Tohru asked.

Shigure smirked and glanced at Hatori, who took over the explanation. "Well, Liz loves Izi-chan as much as her blood-related kids, so she decided she wanted Izi-chan to name her first born child."

"And?"

"She named him Tennotaro," he said somewhat awkwardly.

Kyo grinned. "'Boy sky emperor'?"

"Well, she _was_ eight..."

(a/n: 'Tennotaro' translates to 'boy sky emperor,' in case that was unclear.)

The pages of the album were turning again. One last stranger, and this one seemed the most important: in the photograph, Izi-chan had her arms around the neck of a handsome young man, a ghost of a grin on her face as her lips brushed his cheek. She sat on his lap with his arms loosely around her waist.

But it wasn't like the pictures of her sucking face; this scene was more intimate. However, Izi-chan was an affectionate, touchy-feely person when it came to her friends, and Tohru wouldn't have been surprised to find out this was just a companion of hers.

"Who might that be?" she pondered aloud.

Quickly--too quickly--Shigure replied, "An old friend of ours," then stared at a photo of Ayame and Izi-chan making fish-faces on the opposite page.

After a thick, semi-awkward pause, Yuki prompted, "And does this friend have a name?"

The two older Zodiacs locked their eyes together and seemed to communicate through just that. Finally, Hatori scratched the back of his head stiffly.

"Nabiko."

_Nabiko. Nabiko, Nabiko... where have I heard that name before?_ Tohru wondered. _Maybe a movie character? No... gosh, this is seriously going to bug me if I don't figure it out._

"How come we've never heard of this guy before?" Kyo asked.

"Because we don't see him anymore," Shigure snapped.

"Well, why not?"

"Kyo, don't you have things you'd rather not talk about?" Hatori demanded softly.

He said nothing. Obviously, his answer did not need to be voiced.

"Well, this is like that. We're not talking about it, okay?"

The room filled with a tense silence. Shigure tried to make light of the situation by joking that if they didn't finish the album by the time Izi-chan got home, she'd burn it so they'd better hurry up and get on with it.

Timid laughter at the photos soon grew to their previous booming guffaws as they reached the last pages of the album. Three pictures remained: Izi-chan grinning from ear to ear, holding a diploma and wearing graduation robes. Izi-chan in her flat graduation hat, knocking back a bottle of beer and giving the camera the finger (this one got laughs). And Izi-chan, unaware of her picture being taken, looking scarily thin and deathly pale.

"What's wrong with her in this one?" Tohru asked worriedly. "Is she sick or something?"

"Uh, no." Hatori and Shigure locked eyes again, sending each other silent messages. Shigure nodded his head at the picture harshly, and finally, Hatori sighed in resignation.

"A very important person to Izi-chan passed away right after Izi-chan's senior year, and she took it very badly. She fell into a deep depression and became dangerously thin. This picture is of her first smile since her friend died." He shut his mouth firmly--_subject closed_--and stared at the picture as if, like the others, it was his first time seeing it.

Tohru hovered closer to the picture, searching for that hopeful smile Hatori had described. It was small, that was sure, but it was there: the corners of her mouth pulled up ever-so-slightly and the hint of that familiar mischievous spark lingered in her eyes. Yet everything else about the girl in the photo was pale and washed out. Morose shadows under her mostly-dull green eyes; lackluster auburn hair, hanging limply just below her shoulders; sickly white skin, almost transparent; sunken cheeks lacking their rosy glow. And although this person was the opposite of Tohru's Izi-chan, Tohru knew she was the same girl.

The click of the front door being unlocked sounded--no one bothered wondering where Izi-chan had gotten the keys from--and then brief chatter from the girls floated through to them.

"... can help you do the roots here, if you like."

"Yeah, that'd be good. I won't have any time to do it otherwise."

Shigure muttered a profanity and shoved the album under the kotatsu hastily.

Uotani, Hanajima, and Izi-chan marched in quickly, eager to escape the cold and dive under the kotatsu. Hanajima started upon seeing Shigure.

"Your waves are showing anxiety and a perverse thrill at deceiving--and defying--someone," she stated spookily. "Whom are you inveigling?"

He gave a startled 'eep,' looked at Hatori for back up (Hatori shook his head), glanced at Izi-chan, and promptly leaped up from his seat and fled the room. In his haste, the photo album burst out from under the warm kotatsu and landed open at none other than Izi-chan's feet.

Slowly, she bent down and picked it up. She stared at the pictures on the pages that lay open to her. They seemed to stare back--Izi-chan canoodling with a pony-tailed boy against a brick wall, Izi-chan glaring at Shigure with his mouth full, Izi-chan striking a disco pose in a large, sparkly hat--and she stayed that way for what seemed like hours. Then, carefully she closed the album, set it on the table, and screamed, "I'm gonna fucking rape your face, Shigure!"

"DON'T HURT MEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee...!"

_POOF!_

Izi-chan reappeared, grinning and holding a black dog in her arms.

"Look! Our dear old _Spot_ has come home at last!"

* * *

Tohru grimaced. Izi-chan had claimed that she'd absolutely _love_ the dress she was loaning her for the Christmas party. Why had she believed that, again?

The dress was rather... risqué, and that was putting it lightly. She must have shown less skin at the Come As You Aren't party. This dress was even worse than the leather contraption, though, because this time she didn't have the excuse of a costume theme.

First of all, if she leaned over while wearing it even the _slightest_ bit, the whole world would have the please of seeing her skivvies. Except, wait, she wasn't even _wearing_ skivvies; the dress was so skin-tight that any underwear stood out like neon lights. She couldn't wear a bra with it, either. But that wasn't a problem, as this dress didn't require a bra--it cinched in the back like a corset, pretty much sucking all the air out of her lungs and thrusting her breasts up to soaring new heights (Izi-chan had made sure to cinch it as tight as possible to "enhance your God-given assets, sweetie."). The corset stays were the only back the dress had, the crisscross pattern dipping much too low on her back for Tohru's liking. And to top it all off, it was a shiny ice blue and the heels Izi-chan had stuck her on felt like nothing more than glorified toothpicks.

"Oh, what's the big deal?" Izi-chan complained while giving her a once-over, making sure everything was in a proper place. "Sweetheart, you're a woman. It's about time you showed it."

"But I don't need to show it so clearly!" she whined, crossing her arms over her uplifted chest. "What about--"

"What about Kyo, I know." She sighed. "He's not gonna shun you in disgust just because you're dressing up. It's Christmas, after all."

Tohru pouted. "That doesn't mean anything to him and you know it. Izi-chan, please, help me out of this thing. I can hardly breathe." She wobbled over to her full-length mirror and cast one last horror-fulled glance over her shoulder to Izi-chan. "Please."

"Well, alright, but only because you asked so nicely. Just please can I take a picture first?" she begged, grinning angelically.

Grimacing again, Tohru conceded with a sigh.

"Great!" Izi-chan squealed, already dashing out of the room. "Let me just run downstairs real quick to get my camera."

She smiled, despite her rare less-than-stellar mood. Peeking back at her reflection once more, she tried to find at least one thing that she liked about the ensemble. Well... she really couldn't help but grin at that rack. It was hard to believe it was really her chest. And her legs _did_ look pretty good--much longer than usual, what with the sky-high hemline and heels. Maybe the outfit wasn't _too_ bad, but it wasn't something she'd feel at all comfortable wearing in front of people. Too many opportunities to flaunt the Down Under.

It was a good thing the party wasn't for another week. She still had time to beg Izi-chan for a more seemly dress. Possibly one that let her wear underpants...

Suddenly feeling a presence behind her, she flicked her gaze back up the mirror, only to gasp when she saw the reflection of the person at the door: face red, jaw dropped, orange-haired.

Kyo.

_Naturally_.

Out of a horrible combination of anxiety and humiliation, Tohru found herself giggling nervously. Kyo continued to stare at her, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. An idiot fish.

"Okay, I've got the camera, let's do this quick--"

Kyo whipped his head around to see Izi-chan, holding that stupid pink digital camera of hers and sporting the smallest of smirks. (In her defense, it was a slightly surprised smirk.)

Tohru carried on with her giggling.

"Oh. Well, isn't this cute," Izi-chan mused. Ignoring the tension in the air--how 'bout a slice?--she sauntered back into Tohru's room and snapped a few quick shots of her human Barbie doll before either teenager could say "What the hell is your problem?"

"What do you think of the outfit, Kyo?" she asked nonchalantly, smoothing down a wrinkle on the bodice.

"I... it's... I..."

"Oh, just close your mouth. You look like a complete ass, you know," she commented, suddenly annoyed. "Is it really that hard to give the girl a compliment?"

"I... she's... I..."

Tohru giggled.

"And _you_," Izi-chan snipped. "_What_ is with the giggling? What's funny?"

Tohru made a sound that was something like a cross between another giggle and a whimper.

"You know what? What-the-fuck-_ever_. I'm gonna go hang out with Shigure. Don't bother us."

Then it was just Kyo, Tohru, and all their emotional baggage. Say hello, Baggage.

"Um," Tohru finally said after an excruciating silence. "A-about the dress..."

"Oh! You don't have to... I mean, it's not like I..." Kyo trailed off and stared at her some more. "You, uh... you know..." Giving a nervous giggle himself, he ran a hand through his hair and moved his stare to the carpet.

Tohru felt herself flinch. Everything was going wrong--she wanted to look good in front of Kyo, calm and collected and all that. Not looking like a five-dollar crack whore and tittering like a mentally challenged hyena. And she _hated_ that this was making him uncomfortable, too. He was obviously straining to say something nice to her about the whole slutty mess. It wasn't his fault that he came up short.

"Kyo-kun." She half-smiled timidly. "You--I don't want you to think that you _have_ to compliment me. I know I look ridiculous."

"No!" he exclaimed, snapping his head to look her in the eyes. "No, you don't! You... you look amazing, really. I'm just an idiot who can't form a complete sentence to save my life." Determinedly, he crossed the space between them in three long strides. He placed his hands on her thin shoulders, bare from the straplessness of the dress. Still staring deep into her eyes, he whispered, "You know I think you're beautiful. Everyone does. How on Earth could you think you look ridiculous?"

Those gorgeous ruby eyes of his. She could barely think when he looked at her like that. But she still struggled for coherency. "I... I just do. I mean, the dress--"

"--Is heinous, but on you it looks like it's made from fucking rainbow butterflies." He beamed at her. "When will you see yourself the way you really are?"

As hard as it was to pull her eyes away from his, she wrenched her gaze to her high heels and her face crumpled. "Please, just stop it, Kyo-kun. You're so selfless and so handsome and perfect. Please don't waste your kind words on me."

To her surprise, Kyo laughed out loud.

"Wh-what's so funny?"

"No, no, I'm not laughing at you," he said, doubling over now. "My God, you're more delusional than I thought if you think you're ugly and I'm _nice_." He pronounced the word like it was the most taboo of swears. "Tohru, I do think the dress is a little inappropriate, but it's your body and if you feel uncomfortable than I'll talk to Izi-chan for you."

How could he think he wasn't nice?

Tohru grinned. She took his hand and said, "Thank you for offering, Kyo-kun, but I think I can handle talking to her. She wasn't going to push the dress very much anyway."

"Oh. Well... okay then," he muttered. After squeezing her hand self-consciously, he added, "Yeah, so, I'll just go back to my room then, to do stuff..." But when he turned to leave, he felt his hand being tugged back. Tohru looked at him uncomfortably.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well, um, Izi-chan said not to bother her, and I really can't hardly breathe in this dress... Could, um, just undo the corset stays? Please?"

Question 24) When the gorgeous girl you happen to be in love with asks you to help her undress--despite her innocent meaning--do you:

a) Tear off her clothes--and yours--and start making passionate love to her?

b) Fake a sudden illness and flee the room before your crotch gets the best of you?

c) Smooth talk your way out of it/into her bed? Or,

d) Stutter like an idiot until turning her around to help her?

Since A, B, and C were not options--especially C, since his smooth-talking abilities ranged from horrible to atrocious--he subconsciously chose D. It took every year, every second of his martial arts-based self-control not to immediately choose option A and ravish her. That would freak most people out. So he sucked up his emotions--he was turning into such a girl--and rotated her so that he had access to the corset stays.

_I guess dreams really do come true_, he thought as he pulled the crisscross straps off of her back. _Just not in the right context. Fuck you, Universe, for kicking me in the face. _And _the balls._

Tohru exhaled in pleasure when she was free of the diabolical dress; she finally understood the pain of Victorian women way back when.

"Th-thank you, Kyo-kun," she murmured embarrassedly. In spite of her mini-mortification--as it was greatly subdued by her gratefulness of getting out of the dress--she turned around and kissed Kyo lightly on the cheek. His face--already pink from his task--turned the color of that weird-looking reindeer's nose.

"Yuh, yeah, no problem. Gonna--gonna go now, 'ssat okay?"

"Uh, yeah, yes! I should get dinner started anyway."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

From just outside the door, Izi-chan rolled her eyes at Yuki and Shigure. They smirked in return.

"Toldja he wouldn't make a move," Shigure whispered. "Pay up, Izi-chan."

She gave a smirk larger than both of theirs put together.

"_Yet_."

* * *

**I'll let you readers interpret Izi-chan's response however you see fit.** **The Christmas party will take place in the next chapter, and it will be full of hijinks and shenanigans and all that jazz. And like I said, xXxraikimikoxXx please PM me and you shall get your prize, whatever you want that's within reason.**

**Longest chapter by far. I wanted to fit the X-mas partay in this chapter as well, but I'm lazy and don't feel like cranking out the magic any more today. I'm so swamped with school shit **_**already**_** that you shouldn't be surprised if I don't resurface for a while.**

Also, I know that in the manga and anime they don't show any Christmas stuff, but I've seen it done in other stuff and I just could not pass up the chance of mistletoe and Izi-chan in the same room. You just _**know**_** she's going to meddle.**

On that note, sorry for the OC overload. The whole thing's been in my head for ages and I just wanted to give her more of a backstory. Still some empty spaces, but they shall be filled! (UNLESS YOU DON'T WANT ME TO. _**TELL ME**_** IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO.) Most reviewers have said that Izi-chan is their favorite OC, but to someone like me--AKA an OC hater--that's kind of like saying it's your favorite kind of Coldplay (I'm also a Coldplay hater, because Coldplay sucks ass) or your favorite kind of genocide. (Did I **_**really**_** just compare Coldplay to genocide? Jesus fucking Christ, even a suck-fest like Coldplay doesn't deserve **_**that**_**, Jax.)**

Anywhore, long author's note, too... I feel like I'm forgetting something. Huh.

Okay, well, review please. Constructive criticism is more than welcome; I'm trying to mature my writing style as much as possible.

Jax


	25. Stupid Parasitic Plant

**Thank you to reviewers. You rock my world.** **And in case you didn't know, the big scary words in this chapter's title - if you said the word **_**parasitic**_** to half the kids in my classes, they'd just stare at you like 'WTF?' - are about mistletoe. Think about that next Christmas when you're about to kiss your sweetie (or whoever you've managed to push under the doorway). Romantic, huh?**  
**  
NOTE: **_**Much less**_** Izi-chan in this chapter. I think everyone is getting more than a little sick of her, including me. So just stay with me, okay? She's strictly matchmaker/meddler in this one and fluff is promised. Here's chapter 25 and the Christmas party.**

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Also, minor _**West Side Story**_** reference in one part. Nothing big, but I don't own it. (Although I do love it. 3) Also some random Christmas pop song is used, so I don't own that either (and I only like it in the first place because it was in **_**Love Actually**_**).**

* * *

  
Chapter 25 - Stupid Parasitic Plant (or, General Debauchery, Part 2)

"God dammit, Izi-chan! This is important!" Kyo whisper-yelled harshly. "Are you even fucking listening?"

She glared up at him. "No, I'm really not. Jesus. I'm _trying_ to do something, actually."

"But I _need_ your help! You _know_ how hard it is to lower myself to your mercies."

From her cross-legged perch on his bed, Izi-chan gazed at the orange-haired boy over her milky English tea. Taking in his distress-wrinkled eyes and more-rumpled-than-usual hair, she decided to take pity on him and sighed loudly.

"Koko-chan..."

"What?"

"Look, I can see where you're coming from, but I really think you're over-analyzing this whole thing," she stated plainly. At his confused expression, she sighed again and added in a clear, slow voice, "Well, you know her probably the best of anyone from that ongoing game of Truth you two have."

She could practically see the light bulb go off above his big orange head.

"Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_."

"But...!" he sputtered. "I mean, _yeah_, I know pretty much everything about her and all that - "

"Jesus, would you listen to yourself?" Izi-chan interrupted angrily. "_'And all that.' _Do you know you can be a huge _asshole_?"

His pitiful form became possibly even more pitiful. His already-slumped shoulders slumped some more, his bone-weary eyes drooping, his forehead wrinkled from the hurt that splayed across his features. He lowered his eyes and whispered, "Yeah, I know."

_Guilt guilt guilt!_ screamed Izi-chan's conscience. _Aw, geez. He looks like someone kicked his puppy. Er, kitty?_

She rolled her eyes at herself, but stood up and patted his shoulder awkwardly. "Come on, Kyo," she said, averting her eyes. "You don't have to be so depressed. Just calm down and I'm sure you'll think of the perfect Christmas gift for Tohru."

He shrugged off her hand and turned around.

"Okay, now you're just acting like a little kid."

He pretended to be absorbed in shuffling through the books on his desk.

"You know what? Fine. Go ahead and be all moody." She snatched up her mug - now full of cold tea - and Mayuko's half-graded papers she'd been working on earlier and then marched out of the room with a dramatic door slam.

After waiting a full minute, Kyo turned around and flopped down on his bed. He knew he wasn't really upset with Izi-chan - honestly, she was only trying to help - but he needed some sort of outlet for this frustration at his own incompetence. Really: he'd known Tohru for, what, at least two years by now, right? He'd spent hours upon hours exchanging Truths with her, laughing with her, teasing her and falling in love with her. She was the one person besides Kazuma who really cared about him and who he cared about in return. She'd accepted his true form and all other uglies that came with his personality, including his personality.

So why the hell couldn't he think of a suitable Christmas present for her?

He already had his gift prepared for Kazuma: books, same as always. Kazuma was easy. Perhaps it was because Kyo had known him since childhood, or maybe because he was his shishou and father figure and therefore their relationship was devoid of any sexual tension.

But was that really all it boiled down to? He was a boy, she was a girl, simple as that? No, that couldn't be it. Their relationship was built off of friendship, after all, and that alone meant much more than lust. And besides, although her loved her and wanted her so much it hurt, he respected her far too much to ever take advantage of any situation that may or may not present itself.

A knock at his door made Kyo scowl, having been broken from his reverie. Well, no, reverie wasn't the right word, exactly, he mused while making his way to the door. _Reverie_ suggested happy thoughts, daydreams. _Pleasantly lost in one's thoughts_ was the dictionary definition, he knew. These thoughts were not exactly what he would categorize as _pleasant_.

Another knock, sounding impatient this time, and Kyo assumed it was Izi-chan back to "help" him some more (not fair, he knew, but these were his private thoughts and he was allowed some rude opinions). He wondered briefly why she didn't just burst in like always, but by then there was a third knock and he lost his temper.

"I'm _opening_ the fucking door already," he snapped, practically ripping the door off it's hinges. "Jesus, what is your fucking prob - " Then he promptly wanted to punch himself in the face.

He really shouldn't have been surprised to see, not Izi-chan, but _Tohru_ standing in front of him, with that seemingly-permanent blush staining her perfect porcelain cheeks and a shy, concerned frown furrowing her brows.

"Oh. Hey," he breathed lamely.

"Hi," she replied. Clearly embarrassed, she began babbling. "Um, is this a bad time? I-I can come back later if you'd rather be alone right now. Yeah, in fact I think I'll go do that. You obviously don't feel like talking, s-so I'll just leave you alone. Yeah. What was I thinking? Of course you'd already be doing something, yeah. Do you want some tea? I, uh, because I can go make you some tea right now, since I'm not doing anything. Or - or hot chocolate. Or eggnog! Um, not Izi-chan's alcoholic eggnog, though, because - well, you know why. Um..."

"Tohru," Kyo cut in before she could begin another thought.

"Um, yes?"

"You're not interrupting anything. Would you like to come in?"

Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth like she was about to object, but her features relaxed quickly and she snapped her jaw back up, opting to nod and trudge wordlessly into Kyo's Abyss. (A/N: _Kyo's Abyss_. New band name; I call dibs.)

Once she was situated awkwardly on the edge of his bed and he had sunk into his desk chair, he muttered some more lameness. "So, what did you, like, want to talk about?"

"Oh!" She stared at her knees. "Well, you see, I was just finished with the laundry when Izi-chan came in and said you needed a hug." She looked up at him, half-smiling wryly. "I'm pretty sure she was joking, because of... you know. But, I mean, I think I know what she meant. Are you feeling okay?" she asked now, peering at him with concern clouding her big cerulean eyes

_Damn that Izi-chan_, he thought, glaring inside. He flicked his eyes over to Tohru, sitting on his bed, then to his door, which he knew was firmly locked. _Well, maybe not... _

He had paused for longer than he realized, which of course set Tohru off again.

"Okay, well, obviously you're fine, so I guess I'll just go..."

He started to laugh.

"What - what's so funny?" she ventured timidly. He was laughing at her idiocy, wasn't he?

Whether he meant to or not - and she assumed not, for Kyo was greatly unaware of his own beauty - when the orange-haired boy flicked his piercing eyes up to her blushing face she could feel all the air leave her lungs and her heartbeat hit the roof. She was almost surprised to find herself still in one piece: her Jello-like legs were _closerthanthis_ to breaking into a million pieces and staining Kyo's carpet (which _she'd_ have to clean up).

His smiled a tiny but genuine smile and murmured silkily (_silkily?_ Since when did she think in romance novel terminology?), "You really are cute when you're all flustered like that, you know?"

If her Jello-legs weren't unstable before, this comment sent her soaring to whatever heavens were up there and crashing down to Earth at the same time. Because she knew, deep down in that big ole heart of hers, that since she was so completely _not_ cute, or pretty or beautiful or least of all sexy, Kyo was only saying this to be nice. And the thought made her feel even worse in his presence than she already did.

Oh, God, who did she think she was kidding? Kyo - so insanely handsome and sexy and kindhearted and smart and everything perfect in the world, except he _wasn't_ perfect and that's what made him so lovable, his flaws. How could this godly creature ever reciprocate her feelings? Here she was, a little insignificant mouse of a girl, falling for a fucking Adonis. How dare she.

"Tohru?" Even his voice was attractive...

She needed a good smack in the face, that's what she needed. Yes. Kyo wouldn't do it, of course - he didn't hit girls, even ones that deserved it like Kagura - but Izi-chan probably would. Tohru most likely only needed to ask and then _wham!_ Done and done.

It probably should have bothered her how deeply she was contemplating this. It did not.

"Tohru?"

Oh, she could listen to his voice all day. It was almost musical, it was so beautiful. Deep, loud most of the time, but when it was directed only at her during their rounds of Truth, the soft rumble of it made her shiver. A line in one of _West Side Story_'s songs struck her: _Say it loud and there's music playing; say it soft and it's almost like praying_. Of course, it was sung by Tony about Maria's name, but still.

"Tohru!"

"Huh?" How long had he been calling her? She blinked, surprised to see Kyo staring curiously at her as if she might do something crazy like burst into song at any moment. (_West Side Story_ came to mind.)

"Tohru," he said again, slower this time. "You..." He stopped and let a small smile curve his mouth. "Do you remember what you said to me when you first walked in here a couple minutes ago?"

"What? Oh, um... I don't know. What did I say?" She remembered a lot of gibberish and stuttering on her part, then... that's it. Oh, God, what did she say?!

Kyo's smile continued slowly inching up his face, almost devilishly so. "You said Izi-chan came up to you and told you I needed a hug."

"Oh." Tohru blushed. "Yeah, I'm sorry about her, she was just being playful again - "

"No, that's not what I meant," he interrupted. "I don't need a hug."

"Yes, well, I know, that's why I said - "

"_No_, Tohru." He let the smile take his mouth completely. "I don't need a hug. But I want one."

It didn't matter that Tohru was mid-blush when he swooped in and threw his arms around her. Working fast, he even managed to lift her off the ground and spin slightly, but as the expected _POOF!_ poofed, he was made even more aware of his hatred for that damn Curse.

Tohru smiled sadly at the scowling orange Cat - she had long ago given up wondering how Kyo managed to make his Cat form scowl - before she scooped him up and nuzzled his head.

"I will never get over how cute you are," she murmured as she made herself comfortable on his bed.

"Neither will I," he replied, so softly it could have been a purr. Louder, he added, "Truth?"

"Always, Kyo-kun," she answered gently. "Always."

* * *

"Okay, so re: party playlist. Gotta have the classics - "

"Izi-chan!"

A sigh. Then, "Oh, God, _what?_ I'm fucking _busy_."

"It's... the _dress_. Please, I need you help."

Another sigh. "Alright, but this is the last time I play fairy godmother to all you... people. Staying PG."

Choosing not to reply to that comment, Tohru waved Izi-chan in from the hallway.

So Izi-chan once again would slide into Tohru's room to help the girl into whatever death-trap-like frock she'd selected that time. Tohru had insisted on nothing similar to the ice blue corset nightmare for her real party attire. Since the event would be black-tie casual (whatever that meant), it was still an opportunity for Izi-chan to flaunt Tohru like a fashionably-dressed monkey. (Okay, so not fair, but even Tohru had less-than-pleasant thoughts.)

"De-robe," the older girl ordered after - at Tohru's request - she securely locked the door.

Tentatively, Tohru pulled at ties of the robe and let it fall to the floor, making Izi-chan swallow a gasp at what was underneath. She'd had a hunch the dress would look great on Tohru, but she hadn't expected _fantastic_. Sure, Tohru was a babe in sweats and a T-shirt; to see her all dolled up in something that _wasn't_ mostly leather, though, was enough to almost make her envy Tohru.

"What shoes..." Izi-chan mumbled, walking up to the girl and examining the outfit from all angles. "Well, maybe you won't even have to wear any... What do _you_ think?"

Tohru cocked her head to the side. "I don't know. I don't really have anything that would match."

"Well, of course we'd get you some. But _should_ we?"

"Would they have to be stilettos?"

"Um, as opposed to what?" she questioned.

Tohru shot her a martyred look and sighed, which Izi-chan then imitated loudly.

"I'm kidding, love. Now turn around. Good. Is the waist too loose? Hmm. Tohru, honey, you're looking thin. Have you been eating? You work too hard, you don't take care of yourself. Have those guys been making sure you get enough nutrients? I'm worried, dear. Living with my three oafish cousins, you..." Izi-chan continued talking, mostly to herself it seemed, and Tohru let the noise wash over her.

She closed her eyes and replayed yesterday's game of Truth with Kyo. He'd sat in her lap the entire time, not seeming to mind Tohru's mindless stroking of his fur. She'd still been laughing at something--a Truth, a memory, she couldn't remember - when it was Kyo's turn. He'd ceased his purring - Tohru couldn't get over the fact that Kyo felt comfortable enough in her presence to purr--and mumbled something she couldn't quite hear.

"Pardon me, Kyo-kun?"

"I asked what do you want for Christmas," he'd repeated.

She'd given as much of a frown as she could muster. "Kyo-kun, you don't need to get me anything. I thought I told you I didn't want anything, anyway."

Rolling his eyes, he'd burrowed further into her sweater and said, "The name of the game is _Truth_."

To be honest, she did actually want something for Christmas. Very much. More than she ever wanted anything. But it wasn't something she could tell Kyo, even if she had told him the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth so far (well... for the most part. Like, 97 percent of the time). Although she knew Yuki would be a sweetheart and give her something again this year, and Uotani and Hanajima would present her with some sort of gift, bless them, and Izi-chan would probably try to give her something (Tohru suspected a gag gift, but still) - although she knew all these things, she also knew there was really only one thing she wanted for Christmas.

Kyo's love for her and his freedom.

(Although technically, that was two things.)

The orange cat had cleared his throat and Tohru blushed. "Kyo-kun..." she'd started. "I - I really just want to be with you and the rest of my friends and family. That's it." She'd even managed to convince herself it was mostly true.

After that Kyo had just stared at her for a little while. Tohru remembered feeling embarrassed to be so vulnerable. Of course, she'd been playing Truth with him for months by then, but nothing she's said before could have possibly been misconstrued the way her last statement could. The part about the rest of her friends and family had really only been for Kyo's benefit; she'd wanted nothing more than to tell her beloved how much she wanted to be with him.

But Kyo had ended up swallowing the lie without complaint or suspicion, and this had made Tohru want to cry. It was obvious he didn't even consider her wanting him, because he was so far from wanting _her_. Afraid she would start sobbing right there, Tohru had quickly mumbled something about vacuuming her rug and bolted from the room. As soon as she had slammed her door, she sunk to the floor and threw her head into her hands.

Why was it that one of the most beautiful feelings she'd ever experienced made her hurt so much? It was like Izi-chan had said that day at the onsen, when Tohru was still struggling to identify her feelings for Kyo. _It's a great and terrible beauty, falling in love is. It's the most wonderful of dreams and worst of nightmares_. It was Shakespeare, she had said.

Fuck Shakespeare.

(a/n: I don't mean it! I swear! It's all Tohru!)

"... but then, it _is_ hanging a bit low, don't you think? Ayame will gladly do any alterations, of course, but I feel like we're cutting it a bit close. I mean, with the party two days away, and it would look so tacky for you to wear anything other than this. Have I already told you you look like a fucking movie star? Because you do. I'm _positive_ Kyo will think so too. Oh, fuck, what should Kyo wear? I totally didn't even _think_ about that. But of course, he's a guy and won't..."

Girl could talk, that was for sure. Tohru wasn't sure if she was grateful or annoyed that Izi-chan hadn't noticed she was wasn't listening anymore.

_"Mariaaaaaaa, I've just kissed a girl named Mariaaaaaaaaaaaa, and suddenly I found, how wonderful a sound could beeeeeeeeeeee!" _

Tohru jumped.

"Oh, sorry, that's my cell," Izi-chan said, digging into her pocket and producing the slim black phone. "Changed my ringer. Hello?"

Discreetly fanning herself, Tohru tuned out Izi-chan trilling voice ("_Ohymgod!_ How _are_ you?!") and turned around to her mirror. Unlike with the blue corset contraption, she didn't have to strive to find things she liked about this outfit. She smiled shyly at the beautiful blushing girl - no, _woman_ - that stood before her. She really had to give Izi-chan props for this one: for once, she believed her when the older girl told her she looked gorgeous.

"What?!" Izi-chan squawked suddenly. "No, don't go anywhere! No, that's - I'll be there in a sec, okay? Don't - yeah, love you too. _Don't move_. See you soon. Ciao. _Okay_, bye." She snapped the phone shut and groaned. Stuffing the phone back in her pocket, she was already more than half-way out Tohru's room before Tohru could really process what was happening.

"Wait, Izi-chan!" Tohru called. "What's wrong?"

"Aaya. Outside. Snake."

Tohru quickly threw her robe back on and ran after Izi-chan, who by now was making her way down the stairs. Neither of them bothered putting their shoes on despite the dry, bitter coldness that had still not given way to snow. Tohru squinted and searched the ground for the silver Snake, but Izi-chan was quicker and already sprinting over to a pile of clothes and a large box.

"Aaya!" she shrieked, throwing herself on her knees and scooping up the clothes. Ayame poked his small, smooth head out from under what looked like an ascot, then cried out, "My phone!" and a piece of plastic hit the ground.

"Drama queen," Izi-chan mumbled, but she bent down and picked it up anyway. As she finally noticed the freezing air she hugged Ayame closer to her chest. Over her shoulder, she called, "Tohru, could you please get the box?"

As the two girls and the Snake scurried back to the warmth of Shigure's house, Ayame explained his predicament and the reason for his transformation without being prompted or prodded by either girl.

"Well of _course_ I'm here to give my _darling_ brother _Yuki_ his Christmas gift early!" he announced lavishly.

"Aa-_ya_! You know how you get in this weather!" Izi-chan scolded.

"Yes, but how else am I supposed to to give Yuki his gift?"

As Izi-chan and Tohru stepped into the threshold, Snake and box in hand, Izi-chan mused, "I suppose I could kidnap Yuki in Rat form and deliver him to you at the Main House... but that would be a little cruel..."

Tohru shot her a shocked look.

"Or, you know, a lot cruel. What'd you get him, Aaya?"

"That's for me to know and for Yuki to find out!" Ayame replied gaily. "Now take me up to his room if you'd be so kind."

Seeing as Izi-chan clearly wasn't hesitating to do so, Tohru felt the need to object. "Um, I think Yuki-kun might want some advance warning..."

Ayame cawed, "Nonsense! This will be perfect! Now, onward!"

They arrived at Yuki's door, knocked twice quickly then burst in without waiting for him to answer. Yuki, sitting at his desk and working on something or another, glanced at Izi-chan contemptuously but smiled slightly at Tohr - Ayame was bundled so deeply in Izi-chan's arms that Yuki had not seen him yet.

"To what do I owe this visit, ladies?" he asked politely, if not a bit sarcastically.

Ayame jutted his head out and gave a vaguely frightening grin to his brother.

Yuki stared at him for a long moment before exhaling for another long moment. "What do you want, Nii-san?"

"Can't I bring you a Christmas present, brother to brother?" He pouted--as much as a snake can pout, anyway.

"That depends on what's in the box," he responded coldly.

Izi-chan and Tohru exchanged awkward looks, and quickly Izi-chan uttered, "We're just gonna go, then..."

"No! You don't have to!" Yuki exclaimed, but they were already placing Ayame's clothes and the box on the floor and running out, leaving the brothers alone. Yuki's face fell.

"Yuki, dear, won't you open you present? I would myself, but I'm a bit incapacitated at the moment."

_POOF!_

"Whoops, never mind!"

Yuki kept his gaze firmly on the piece of paper on is desk while Ayame babbled and redressed. He silently cursed Izi-chan and his brother.

"... and it was just _so_ hard to find the suitable gift for you," Ayame prated, "but since I _am_ me, Ayame Sohma, I figured something out! _Ah ha ha ha!_"

Slowly, Yuki turned around and gave his brother the expressionless mask he'd cultivated during the dressing period. "Nii-san," he said flatly.

"Yes, Yuki?"

He spoke carefully, considering every word. "I certainly... _appreciate_ you going to the trouble of buying me something..."

"Oh it was _my pleasure_, Yuki! You _are_ my only brother after all!"

"Nii-san. Please let me speak."

"Oh, of course! Go on, go on!"

Although it should have disturbed them how unsurprised they were to hear Izi-chan's groan from the hallway, it did not. The door was thrown open and there stood the auburn-haired girl with Tohru looking on worriedly.

"This is just fucking painful," Izi-chan declared. "Yuki, none of us want to hear your 'thanks-but-no-thanks-because-I'm-emotionally-crippled' speech. Aaya, cut the theatrics and tell him what you _really_ want to tell him." Throwing her hands up and the air in exasperation, she turned to Tohru and bitched, "Is it _so hard_ for men to get in touch with their emotions? Is that _too much_ to ask?"

Tohru nodded sypathetically but blushed and kept her mouth shut.

With a glare censored for Tohru's benefit, Yuki said, through clenched teeth, "This is sort of a private matter, if you don't mind, Izi-chan."

"As if anything is private in this family," she scoffed.

Through the whole mini-drama, Ayame had somehow managed to stay quiet. Suddenly, though, he mumbled Yuki's name.

"What is it, Nii-san?" Yuki asked tiredly. The last couple minutes had totally drained him.

"Yuki..." It was the Snake's turn to choose his words with care, something rare for him anyway. "I... wasn't lying when I said I'd had a hard time finding you a gift. I mean, we both know I'm not the best at... _understanding_ you. But, I hope you will except this gift, because we both also know that I really am trying." He slid the box over to Yuki cautiously.

Tohru felt awkward witnessing this moment, but a glance at Izi-chan told her she was alone. Izi-chan had a hand touching her collarbone and her eyes were wide and curious.

Yuki looked briefly at their female audience, but decided to open the present anyway. After ripping off the garish gold ribbon and equally garish red wrapping paper (he struggled to hide his rolling eyes), he lifted to lid of the box off and peered into it suspiciously.

A large straw sunhat sat on a bed of tissue paper.

The room was quiet. Yuki looked at the hat, then to Tohru, who gave him an encouraging smile, then to Izi-chan, who shot him a look that said, _He _is _trying, okay?_ Finally, he looked at his brother, and it must have been the first time he'd even seen Ayame so nervous.

He laughed out loud.

Ayame widened his eyes, unsure if his brother's reaction was good or bad sign. Tohru and Izi-chan looked panicked, most likely in fear for his sanity.

"Nii-san," Yuki said after his attack passed. Ayame's posture straightened and the girls glanced at each other nervously; who knew if Yuki would do something else crazy, like tear off his clothes and run around the house (not an altogether unpleasant thought)? "Nii-san, I have to ask. What made you think of a hat?"

Izi-chan cringed.

"Well," Ayame started with self-conscious bravodo, "I figure, with your gardening, the heat might get a bit unmanageable. It was for me, but as the Rat you probably don't have it as bad. I know it's not exactly the season for it, but spring and summer will come soon enough. It's fine if you hate it, it was just an idea."

"I like it, Nii-san." He smiled hesitantly. "I really do."

Ayame gasped. "Oh, Yuki, that's wonderful! I'm so glad you like it! But you know, it's terribly drab right now, I could accessorize it if you like. Oh my goodness, I think we've finally reached a middle ground with your gardening and my fashion! I'm so happy right now! Oh, I _must_ call Ha'ri. Izi-chan, where did you put my cell phone? Oh, wait, it's in my pocket! _Ah ha ha,_ silly me!"

"Please leave," Yuki muttered.

Tohru looked at Izi-chan and smiled. "One day at a time, right?"

"Wait, Yuki _gardens?_"

(a/n: Because I can.)

* * *

_  
"It's the most, wonderful tiiiime, of the yeaaaaar..."_

Kyo scowled at the stereo.

"You keep making that face and it'll stick like that."

"Fuck you, Izi-chan."

"Sca-_ry_."

He moved his glare to the Sugar Plum Fairy that was currently getting seriously anal about the Christmas Eve party that was going to go down in, oh, a matter of hours.

She blew a raspberry at him. "Are you still bent out of shape because of the whole present-for-Tohru thing?"

"Not so loud!" he hissed. His face screwed up like he was thinking deeply about something or taking a dump. "Izi-chan..."

"No. We're not doing this again. I'm not fallin' for puppy dog eyes this time. Figure the stupid thing out on your own."

"But...!"

"_No,_" she repeated firmly. "The party starts in fucking _four hours_, Kyo. I have to turn this house into a fucking _winter wonderland_ in that time, and I _don't_ have time for your fucking gift-giving ineptness."

"Could you say 'fuck' a few more times?" Kyo asked her sarcastically. "I don't fucking think you got your fucking point across."

"You know what you need for Christmas? An attitude adjustment."

"Because I've never heard that one before."

Izi-chan gave a mini-scream of frustration, then took several deep breaths and glared at him in surrender. "Okay," she grumbled. "Tell me what you found out when I sent her up to your room the other day."

He considered this. "Well, it was kinda awkward, then she spaced out for a little bit, but then I hugged her - "

"Awwwww."

" - _shuddup_, and then we just sat on my bed for a while and played Truth."

Izi-chan raised an eyebrow. "_And?_"

"And I still have nothing!" he cried.

"God, you are _pathetic_," she sighed. "Kyo, _maybe_ you should stop aiming for the perfect gift for Tohru that will show her you care without revealing more than you're willing to reveal, and just _put_ yourself _out there_."

He stared blankly at her.

"You know," she began, "diamonds are a girl's best friend? Although it _is_ Christmas Eve... shit."

"I don't have enough for diamonds anyway!" he said. "What's... what's with that look?"

Indeed, the expression his cousin had adopted was making him quite uncomfortable. Mischievous, wicked, amused, a flurry of emotions splayed across her face in record time before she uttered, "What about Kazuma-san?"

Instantly Kyo stiffened. "What _about_ Shishou?"

"Well, if I remember correctly, doesn't he own that _gorgeous_ locket that has been in the family for God knows how long?" she questioned coquettishly. "Tohru would go _nuts_ for that. You could even put a widdle picture of the two of you in there to show her how much you _care_."

"No," he replied harshly, glaring his best. "No. I won't give her something of _this_ family's."

"Kyo, that's not what it would be. Do you think Kazuma-san would keep it if it was?" At his 'yeah right' expression, she rolled her eyes. "It's been in his _mother's_ family for years. His mother who wasn't a Sohma. _Baka._"

A giant question mark practically formed above his head.

"Jesus, I lived with you guys for six months. Were you still such a larva when he was telling me about it?" she asked him dryly.

He didn't hear her, though, because he was throwing on his jacket and shoes and running out to Kazuma's house.

* * *

"Cutting it a bit close, aren't you, _baka neko?_" Yuki hissed as Kyo slid through the door with a small box in his hands and a large glare on his face.

"Who the hell asked you, _kuso nezumi_?" he spat in reply before dashing upstairs to hide the box.

The party was set to start in a little more than ten minutes and Izi-chan had made a complete 180 from that afternoon. She flitted from room to room laughing and helped Tohru place little bowls of munchies and plates of Christmas cookies around the house.

Speaking of Tohru: how adorable did she look in her festive apron and holding another plate of surely delicious cookies? The answer was very, very adorable. The apron went from her neck to her knees, though, so Kyo couldn't see what she was wearing, but he saw that the sleeves - off the shoulder and fanning out at her elbows - were red. Red was a good color on her (better than ice blue, anyway).

Kyo smiled gently at her and opened his mouth to say something when he heard a screech of "Come back here you little shit!" and Shigure was pushing him out of the way.

"Noooo, Tohru-kun, save me!" he whined (Kyo would give him something to whine about). He hid behind the small girl like she could protect him from whatever monster was chasing him.

"Don't you use her as a shield!" Izi-chan yelled from behind Kyo. It seemed he and Tohru were separating the two "adults" like a chair in the middle of a game of tag, causing the two playing to move back and forth on either side while all the while ready to jump over said chair.

Someone clearing their throat roused all four of them from the petty game. As sixteen eyes flicked over to see Yuki sporting a smirk, the Rat pointed up and for the first time they noticed they were standing under a doorway.

A doorway with a green plant featuring little white berries and a red ribbon hanging from it.

_Of course_.

Izi-chan and Shigure immediately leaped back from the doorway, leaving the two teenagers wide-eyed and red-faced (what else is new?).

"Well, you know, it _is_ tradition!"

"Go ahead, don't mind us!"

"Pucker up, kiddies!"

The catcalls went on and on. Kyo glared at them to avoid looking at Tohru, for he was sure he would make a fool out of himself if he did. Tohru, for her part, rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly and looked at the plate of cookies still in her hands.

"_Bow chicka wow wow!_"

"What was _that s_upposed to be? Porn music?"

It was obvious the peanut gallery would not be letting either of them go until a kiss took place. This wasn't how Kyo had pictured them under the mistletoe, but he swallowed and decided it was better than nothing.

Tohru felt her chin being lifted up. Her heart pounded and her eyes went wider than they'd ever gone. Was Kyo really doing this? She closed her eyes and felt his lips...

...peck her cheek.

Disappointment was an ice-cold pina colada spilling down her heaving cleavage. It hit so hard she felt like crying.

While she reeled from the hit, Kyo blushed further and quickly excused himself. His cousins booed him but let him go.

Tohru gripped the plate harder, looked again at the cookies, then brought her head back up and smiled her hundred-watt smile like she wasn't feeling so awful.

At the moment, the doorbell rang and Izi-chan perked up. "Yes! Let the party begin!"

"_I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need..._"

As she and Tohru worked the room not even ten minutes later, offering snacks and chatting up their guests, Tohru listened to the song playing. Some cheery, bubble gum pop hit from America about love and Christmas. Funny how accurately it was describing Tohru's current situation.

"Arisa! Saki!" Izi-chan called, ushering in Tohru's two best friends. Uotani smiled widely and handed Izi-chan a bottle of champagne.

"I'm not gonna ask how you got this," Izi-chan said skeptically, "but thank you. It will go _great_ with the spread." She glanced sideways at Tohru, and immediately groaned at the girl's rigid demeanor. "Tohru, loosen up a bit!" she said. "Here, let's test out this champagne."

Tohru stared at her. "Um, I don't think that's a very good idea..."

"Come _on_," she whined. "A little liquid courage to help you unwind?"

"Izi-chan, I just don't think..."

The older girl lowered her voiced in Tohru's ear and said, without any hint of mocking in her voice, whispered, "Sweetheart, I promise you I won't let that happen again. But you need to let go of your insecurities if you want to enjoy the party, this holiday, and fucking _life_. Please, it's not for me, or for anyone else here - even Kyo. It's for you."

Surprised by her friend's sincerity, Tohru smiled and grabbed an empty wine glass off the table. "Is that what you say to all the teenage girls you lead astray?" she joked.

Izi-chan grinned and poured the bubbly drink into the glass, filling it halfway. "Only to my favorites," she replied.

Tohru let herself be absorbed in the party after that. The champagne didn't inebriate her as promised, but it did take the top layer off her senses and left her feeling more confident than usual. She laughed and shot the breeze with the guests, offering them champagne and altogether letting herself have fun with someone other than Kyo.

Kyo... She was _almost_ able to forget about the mistletoe earlier with the help of the champagne, but everything reminded her of him: the Zodiac members scattered about the room, Kazuma conversing with Hanajima, the adorable orange dress that Kisa wore. Tohru considered drinking as much as last time, just to forget for a little while, but knew that wasn't the answer.

She felt someone poke her side and saw Hatsuharu looking stonily at her.

"Do you want me to take that champagne to the kitchen for you?" he asked politely.

She must have been standing in one place just clutching the bottle. _Durh_.

"Oh! Um, no thank you, I'm going there anyway," she answered, then swerved hastily in the opposite direction towards the kitchen.  
_  
Well, the party seems to be going well so far_, Tohru thought as she made her way to the kitchen, occasionally being stopped by the Zodiac members wishing her a merry Christmas. _No one has announced we're playing a drinking game and I haven't kissed Kyo-kun. _This, though, made her cringe, as she was reminded one again of that painful mistletoe moment earlier. _What exactly had I been expecting, anyway?_ _Of course he wouldn't sweep me into his arms and... actually, is it even possible for a Zodiac member to do that?_

"Tohru?"

She hadn't realized she'd finally gotten to the kitchen, nor had she realized someone was already hiding out in there: Kyo.

"Kyo-kun!" she exclaimed. "Hi! Wuh, why aren't you out there enjoying the party?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Not the type of company I enjoy the most," he mumbled dryly. He nodded at the bottle in her hand. "You gonna offer me a drink?"

"Oh! I didn't think you'd want one."

"I guess Izi-chan's boozy tendencies have rubbed off on he," he said with a shrug. "Besides, the only I'm gonna get through the rest of this holiday is if I'm piss drunk."

"Not me," Tohru disagreed. "I've only had half a glass so far, and I don't plan on drinking much more than that."

"Well, I suppose I'm just more mature when it comes to alcoholic habits," he teased. She laughed.

He joined in her laughter, but for the first time he took in her outfit. The red sleeves from earlier had not prepared him for the goddess that stood before him now: the neckline, far from vulgar, dipped into a V at her chest, barely showing any cleavage but still one of the sexiest things Kyo had ever see - then fanned out gracefully in the same way as the sleeves. It ended around four inches above the knee, and the blood red color against her pale skin made her practically glow.

"You..." he began, praying he wouldn't stutter. "You look fantastic."

She blushed, but smiled and didn't disagree as per usual. "Yeah, well, you clean up pretty well yourself." And he did, in his black slacks and gray dress shirt--the top buttons were undone, of course, but he looked flawless as always. Tohru wasn't aware Kyo owned clothes like these (she also wasn't aware that Izi-chan had forced them onto him as "an early Christmas present").

"Ya think?" he asked nervously, pulling at the already-loose collar. "It's not really what I usually..."

"No, you look great!" Tohru gushed. "I'm serious! Would I lie to you?"

He walked a few steps closer to her. Relaxing his face to reveal as little emotion as possible, he lowered his voice to a throaty whisper and said, "_Would_ you?"

She felt her face warm up some more at his gaze, but she found she couldn't pull herself away. To distract herself from babbling, she considered his question. _Would_ she lie to him? Technically she did every second of every day; it wasn't as if she could just waltz up to him and be all, "Hey, so I'm in love with you. What do you feel like eating tonight?" That was for confident - or crazy - people like Izi-chan or Uotani. But he knew everything else about her. That's what their games of Truth were all about, right?

"Not about anything important," she replied softly in a similar guttural sound.

By now, they were but a whisper apart. The party sounds - people laughing and talking, glasses clinking, that cheery Christmas music - had faded into a hum in both their ears. Kyo was leaning his head down, ever so slowly, and Tohru found the way the words dripped from his glorious lips the most seductive thing in the world.

"Is that so?" he whispered, his lips moving closer to hers in a way that was much too slow for her liking - he was teasing her, goddammit!

Well, she could tease him too - Tohru with a nice, warm buzz could, anyway. She felt her smile shape into the closest proximity to a smirk it had ever gotten to. Her left hand glided up to Kyo's collarbone and brushed lightly against his warm skin before dipping lower, down to those undone top buttons. She toyed briefly with the small charcoal studs, then let her hand fall the rest of the way down to rest back at her side.

Rather than try to one-up her, Kyo smiled widely and tugged on the hem of her sleeve. He watched as she stood on the tips of her toes - Izi-chan had decided her Barbie would go shoeless for tonight - to meet his head halfway.

That's when everything.

Tohru yelped in surprise and nearly fell back on her ass. Kyo caught her hand and sunk to the floor with wide eyes.

"Nobody panic!" they heard Izi-chan yell in the next room. "It's probably just a blown fuse! Nothing to worry about people! Shigure, where are your candles?"

"Jesus," Kyo breathed. "That scared the shit out of me."

"Hhyh," Tohru replied intelligently. "Wuh - huh huh huh. That... yeah. Me too."

Kyo chuckled at her and took her other hand, helping them both up. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yuh - um, yes."

"'Cause you seem flustered."

"What, me? No no no, I'm totally fine!" she lied. If she had been the type to curse, she'd be howling like a sailor in her head. Really, the damn blackout couldn't wait _five minutes_? Talk about a mood killer: she felt utterly un-sexy after almost falling on her butt.

"What do you _mean_, it's a citywide blackout?" This came from the living room: Izi-chan was on her cell phone. "Did I mention we're in a house full of _Sohmas_? This family is supposed to have fucking _connections_, goddammit! Oh, fuck you, I'll take the Lord's name in vain if I _want_ to, lady. You - _what_ did you call me? _Fuck_ no, I will track you down and snap your fat ass like a _rubber_band, I swear I - Ha'ri, gimme the phone back!"

"Please excuse my friend, she's forgotten to take her medication. Yes, I'm sorry for what she said about your - when did she have time to insult your mother? Well, I'm sorry but it really is important..."

Kyo frowned and tuned out the rest of Hatori's attempt to salvage the situation. Tohru grinned at the family's antics but gasped when little Kisa ran in sniffling.

"Kisa-san! What's wrong!"

"She's scared of the dark," Hiro mumbled, trailing in after her. "I... don't know what to do."

But the two girls were already hugging - Kisa sobbing into the front of Tohru's dress - while Hiro and Kyo looked on helplessly.

Kyo shifted his weight awkwardly, then suggested Tohru take Kisa up to her room to lie down.

"Oh, that's a great idea, Kyo-kun!" she replied sincerely. She took Kisa's hand and gently towed the younger girl to the stairs. Kyo watched them disappear. Hiro watched him.

"Why don't you just tell her?" he asked quietly. His words did not bite, surprisingly, but they did shock and embarrass Kyo.

"That - that's none of your business, Hiro," he spat. "Jesus, like I need a _middle schooler_ on my case about this too."

"So others have asked what I did?"

"I _said_, that's none of your _business!_"

Hiro smirked at him. "Fine. You're right. It isn't." Lowering his voice, he added, "But don't hurt her."

Kyo's orange head snapped in the Ram's direction, nearly giving him whiplash. "Since when do you care about Tohru's feelings?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't." He shrugged nonchalantly, but his face glowed pink in the darkness. "But if she's unhappy, then Kisa'a unhappy. And if Kisa's unhappy... then, _I'm_ unhappy." He quickly glared at Kyo, daring the Cat to mock him.

But Kyo half-smiled and said, "It sucks, doesn't it?"

Hesitantly, Hiro nodded. "Yeah. It does. But, I... I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"That's the point, kid," Kyo replied softly. "That's the whole damn point."

* * *

With the power going out, a normal person would've thought a Christmas party would be a quite a bit ruined. But that person had obviously never been to a Sohma Christmas party.

Sure, it was a Western holiday that more often than not ended with no fewer than three Sohma's passed out under the tree, but the Heads of Family had always had an odd fixation with it. Perhaps because it was only a few steps away from New Year's, their biggest holiday by far, and with that they had an excuse to get the decorations out earlier and throw an extra party or two. Or perhaps their tired, battered old hearts warmed at the coldest time of year and they let themselves show care for their fellow Sohmas.

Or perhaps they just loved watching _It's a Wonderful Life_ on TV.

Either way, even a citywide blackout on Christmas Eve couldn't sway a Sohma party. They lit a million candles and popped a CD into Shigure's battery-operated boom box, laid blankets and pillows on the floor and brought their glasses of wine and champagne and sake and whatever else down with them, munched on Tohru's Christmas feast like a little picnic. After more than a couple glasses of the bubbly, Ayame and Ritsu jumped up and danced drunkenly, inspiring the others to laugh out loud and join them.

And still: that song.  
_  
"I just want you for my oo-own, more than you could ever kno-ow..."_

Unfortunately for Tohru, she barely made it out of her room for the rest of the night, save a few times. It seemed Kisa was more than just afraid of the dark: she had some sort of flu. Tohru rubbed the small girl's back while she laid in Tohru's bed and shivered and whimpered. Hiro held her hand the whole time, of course, only left her side to go to the bathroom once or twice. Kyo played the butler and got the trio food and drinks when needed; he would rather be doing errands for Tohru than hang out with his family (although he did chat with Kazuma while he was on snack runs). And he had to admit, though it was mostly Tohru keeping him in the room, Kisa was adorable and had not once given him crap for being the Cat, and with her influence Hiro wasn't as much of a little shit.

"I'm sorry, Kyo-kun," Tohru murmured after watching Hiro and Kisa conk out for the night. "You really don't have to stay here with me. I can take care of these two by myself now."

He rolled his eyes. "You know I'd rather be up here with you than downstairs. Last time I was getting you guys food I saw Haru talking to a plant and Shigure and Izi-chan were making eyes at each other. Scary stuff."

"Um... okay." She smiled beautifully at him. "Thank you anyway."  
_  
Come_ on_, Kyo, would you _grow _a pair already? _wailed a voice in his head_. Give her the present! It's the_ perfect _moment, _baka_! Do it! Do it do it do it!_ _DO IT NOW! Bitch!_

Jesus.

"Um, hey, Tohru," he said nervously in a quiet voice, "stay here for a second okay? I - I'll be right back."

Once he was gone, Tohru frowned and hastily wiped her foolish teary eyes. First, her mistletoe moment with Kyo was ruined because - DUH - he obviously didn't want to kiss her. Then, when she was actually feeling confident and for whatever reason Kyo was _flirting_ with her - she hadn't hallucinated that, had she? - the power just _had_ to blow and, in her stupid surprise, she practically fell right on her ass.

Was she going crazy or were they about to kiss _for real_ right before the lights went out?

Not that it mattered now, anyway. She loved Kisa like the baby sister she never had, of course, but caring for a sick kid was not a huge turn-on for most guys. (If she had any sense at all, she would have realized that A) Kyo was not Most Guys, and that B) for Kyo, watching Tohru's maternal instincts kick in over her pseudo-sister was one of the most beautiful things to be seen.)

As she heard Kyo's re-approaching footsteps, she quickly wiped her eyes again and forced a smile back on her face.

"What have you got there?" she asked him when he produced a small box from behind his back.

He placed the box in front of her and said, "Go ahead. Open it."

"Kyo-kun," she protested, "I told you - "

"I know what you told me, but did you really think that was gonna stop me?" He grinned at her. "So, come on. Open it," he repeated.

Tohru threw him a pout but reached for the box and held it up in front of her face. It looked nice: deep green wrapping paper and a simple thin silver ribbon. She wondered absently if Izi-chan had helped him wrap it; Kyo seemed like the type to cutely wrap his gifts with the Funnies and duct tape. She smiled at this, then carefully pulled the silver bow free and removed the paper. She lifted the small lid off and gasped at what she saw: resting on a delicate gold chain was and equally delicate small oval locket.

"Oh, Kyo-kun," she breathed. "You shouldn't have. You really shouldn't have."

Being the guy he was, Kyo mistook her reaction as distaste and promptly his face fell. "You don't like it. Of course you don't. Why would you? I should've know you wouldn't - "

"No, Kyo-kun." She bit her lip to hide her blooming grin. "It's beautiful. I love it."

"Really?" he questioned shyly.

"Really. I love it," she repeated. _I love you_.

"I - " He touched her hand gently. "I'm glad. But, there's more. Open the locket."

Blushing at the contact, Tohru did as she was told. She gasped again at the tiny picture that adorned her new necklace. Wild orange hair, familiar devilish grin...  
_  
Oh, Mom_.

She felt her lip quiver and heard Kyo say he as an idiot again, the picture was a bad idea, he was so sorry for making her cry, please don't cry -

"No, no, Kyo-kun, it's perfect," she said shakily, willing her voice not to crack. "This - _thank you_. I really, really love it. Thank you."

"You already said that," he joked softly, bringing a hand to her cheek to wipe a stray tear. "Would you like me to help you put it on?"

She nodded. They both stood up and she moved her hair aside, shivering slightly when she felt his warm hands accidentally graze her collarbone and then her neck.

"Sorry, are my hands cold?"

"No, no, I'm fine."

A second later he finished with the clasp and she felt two soft lips brush her ear as he whispered, "Take a look."

Peering in the mirror, she couldn't help but love it more. So, before she could lose her nerve, she spun around and threw her arms around Kyo's neck, knocking them both over. The _POOF!_ sounded when they were still falling, and suddenly Tohru was clutching nothing more than empty clothes, smoke, and a surprised orange Cat.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled a moment later as they both sat on the floor.

"Tohru, are you - "

"Onee-chan?" Kisa croaked, having been awoken by the Zodiac exlosion.

"Wass going on?" Hiro slurred with sleep.

"Nothing's wrong," Tohru responded quietly. "I tripped and Kyo transformed. Go back to sleep, you two."

They were out before their heads hit the pillow: a long day for them both, apparently.

Several gently knocks sounded out the door and Hatori poked his head in. As the door opened, Kyo took his clothes in his mouth and dashed across the hall to his own room. Hatori chose not to comment, merely saying, "It's time to take Kisa and Hiro home."

He carried Kisa out to his car (they woke up Hiro - boy was getting pretty big) and Tohru wished them a merry Christmas. The rest of the guests suddenly realized how late it was and said their own goodbyes, heading home to loved ones or empty houses. Tohru saw them all off with a glowing smile and a friendly wave.

The only ones left from the party were Izi-chan and Momiji - both only had cold, uninhabited houses at the Main House to return to anyway, so why bother leaving the comfortable haven they were already in? The two, along with Shigure and Yuki, lied on the blanketed floor as the last guests filtered out. They laughed and drank some more, at one point inviting Tohru into their pit, but she declined and wandered into the kitchen self-conciously.

She decided to get a start on the mass of dishes that would need to be cleaned. She hummed along to the voices that floated in from the living room.

"... but, I mean, if Mickey was a mouse, and Donald was a duck, and Pluto was a dog, then what was Goofy?"

"Of course Goofy was a dog. He looked like Pluto and everything!"

"But he wore clothes and talked..."

"_You're_ a dog and _you_ wear clothes and talk, Shigure."

"That's different."

"Heh, play dead Shigure!"

Tohru giggled at their inane conversation, induced by alcohol and Christmas and friends and fucking _life_, man. Everything seemed perfect at that moment: serene, still, peaceful.

"Hey, Tohru."

And it just got better.

"Tohru?" Kyo warm voice said again. Tohru snapped her eyes open - she hadn't realized they'd drifted closed - and turned around with a smile to match her calm mood. All too suddenly, though, a little shoulder devil hopped into her ear and whispered a wicked little plan, making that peaceful mood of hers turn sickly saccharine. She felt her smile grow the tiniest bit.

From the living room, the boom box sang, "_Make my wish come tru-uuue..._"

"So, some night, huh?" Kyo said, leanig against the hallway. Tohru's eyes quickly flicked up above his head and the shoulder devil cackled gleefully.

She abandoned the dishes and slowly dried her hands on a dish towel, never taking her eyes off Kyo. Casually, she replied, "Yes. The party turned out quite well, I think."

"Well, at least nobody threw up on the carpet - wh-what are you doing?"

She had walked over to him - practically danced, her movements were so graceful at that moment - and was standing in such close proximity to him that anyone to walk in right then would have no doubt they were lovers. Her fingertips were but feathers on his cheeks and her heavily-lidded eyes gleamed with something Kyo was at a loss to identify.

"I've decided I want a do-over," she whispered. She barely recognized it as her own, but she knew that it was the same voice she'd used with Kyo right before the blackout.

In the living room, Momiji gasped and pointed to the window. "Guys! It's snowing..."

But neither Tohru nor Kyo heard him, because Tohru stood on the tops of her toes and kissed him.

"_All I want for Christmas is you_."

* * *

**  
Oh my God! I'm fucking finished with the chapter! And at over nine thousand words!** **Gee golly gosh, I sure do rock.**

Um, except for my flagrantly late update. Not so cool. BUT: I _**do**_** have a short drabble piece written in Tohru's POV about this most recent kiss which I **_**might**_** be willing to put up right away if I get enough reviews. Let's say 20? Call me selfish, but I'm the authoress and I enjoy having my ego stroked (and your awesome suggestions about stuff).**

And by the way, I'm sick-ish right now with the head-cold-slash-throat-thingie that's been going around. I might not have even gotten it if stupid Jane the Giant hadn't PURPOSELY coughed on my sleeve when _**she**_** had it (although possibly I am exaggerating. And if you're wondering what my friend did to me to deserve such a nickname, the answer is nothing. She's just super tall and I tease because I care).**

So, enough babbling. Review and ye shall be rewarded.

Merry Christmas!! (Writing the chapter has got me in a very festive mood, even though it's not even Halloween yet.)

Jax

PS) Gold star to anyone who can guess which part of the chapter I took from the awesome movie _**Stand By Me**_**, adpted from a short story by Stephen King**


	26. Mistletoe

**As promised for my awesome reviewers.** **Written in Tohru's POV because I'm in an experimenting mood.** **And even though this is not technically a chapter, it's important to the main storyline.  
**  
**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

  
TPOV - Mistletoe

It's as if it's our first all over again except done right.

For less than a half-second he is frozen but just as quickly I feel Kyo's lips respond to mine. The skin under my fingers feels warm and I'm positive my own cheeks are flushed, but whether it's all from excitement, embarrassment, the Christmas spirit, or some macabre mix of all of the above, I have no idea. I really don't care, anyway, because as far as I'm concerned nothing else exists right now except Kyo and I.

The kiss isn't like the one we shared at the onsen - lusty and passionate - nor is it drunken and sloppy like the time before that. It's not even like our first real kiss, way back during Truth or Dare with our impish friends watching - that was much too awkward. And this kiss is far from awkward. So natural, here under the mistletoe. So natural, indeed, as I can barely feel the warmth of the blush on his cheeks anymore.

Perhaps that's because my whole body feels as if it's on fire with what I'm feeling. From my hairline to my fingertips to my toenails, I am burning with love for Kyo.

I feel his hands move to the small of my bac. They caress the thin fabric covering it, and then his fingers are running up and down my spine - as if it wasn't already littered with lightning.

His touch stings me with pleasure and I am suddenly very sad. Through my pleasant haze I know this moment will not last and we both must go back to being Just Friends. I suprise myself by thinking that I don't really care right now, because _carpe diem_: I'm seizing the day.

I don't know what the repercussions will be for this kiss, or even if he's enjoying it as much as I am. All I know is I want to save him now more than ever.

I _need_ to save him.

* * *

**  
Under four hundred words.**

Next chapter will be out... er, when my brain juices start flowing again. Which is not likely do be very soon, what with the Evil School Shit poking me in the side of the head when I try to ignore my geometry homework. (I'm good at it, really, but it's so fucking boring I just can't force myself to care more than the bare minimum.)

Jax


	27. Bonne Annee, Mon Amour

**Um, have I mentioned lately how much you guys RAWK? Seriously, I am feeling the love and it is much appreciated. But I feel I should apologize: in the last chapter, in the VERY crucial part when the blackout happens, I wrote **_**That's when everything **_**when it was **_**supposed**_** to say **_**That's when everything went black**_**. Since I don't proofread my writing before I upload it - I just kind of sloppily type out an author's note and put it on FanFiction before I lose my nerve - I did not catch this typo. But when I was rereading it and saw the mistake after it was actually **_**on**_** FanFiction, I spit out the tea I was drinking and started screaming "FUCK!" (My parents did not take too kindly to this.)  
**  
**Anyway, please accept this** **chapter on behalf of my brainfart. The chapter title reads **_**Happy New Year, my love**_** in French, by the way.**  
**  
Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

Chapter 26 - Bonne Année, Mon Amour

As Tohru twirled a long piece of hair in frustration - yes, even she was prone to the nasty emotion - she contemplated New Year's.

The holiday that the Zodiac thrived at. The holiday when she had first met Hatori and learned his story. The holiday that produced snow and hope, yet crushed both when her beloved Zodiac friends were forced to trudge back to the Main House for a festival and banquet that continued the tradition of excluding Kyo. The holiday the represented change, a new beginning - the phoenix rising from the ashes.

She chose to focus on this definition.

Lately - since the Christmas party, to be exact - she'd been feeling like it was time for a change. Maybe this New Year's could be the catalyst that gave her the courage to do something about it.

The Christmas memory sparked a knot in her stomach as she thought of her bold kiss with Kyo under the mistletoe. That was so unlike her! Oh, she practically forced herself on the poor boy. He'd handled it with grace, of course, but she still felt guilty. Perhaps that was because she'd enjoyed the kiss more than she knew she should have.

_Fuck,_ that kiss... After what seemed like hours of just the two of them, Tohru had (painfully) pulled away. She was breathless and panting and quite sure her lips were swollen from their actions. She had smiled shyly at Kyo and whispered "Merry Christmas." Then she'd ran away, invoking puzzled looks from the gang watching the beautiful first snow.

Coward.

On Christmas day, things weren't too awkward. After sleeping like a log all night - and dreaming of Kyo doing things that would most definitely land both of them on Santa's naughty list - she had been roughly awakened by a chipper little Rabbit jumping on her legs and shrieking, "IT'S CHRISTMAS! WAKE UP, IT'S CHRISTMAS, TOHRU! WAKE UP!" The rest of household, minus one orange head, stood at her doorway, looking tired and annoyed. Yuki had been asleep on his feet.

And so the gift-giving had commenced downstairs on the pillows and blankets the others had been too lazy to put away the night before. Tohru had grinned at the snow she saw sitting gracefully on the ground outside and, after relocating her cheerful mood, got to work on a hearty Christmas breakfast for them while Izi-chan stirred up hot chocolate.

Hatori had stopped by to wish them a merry Christmas and of course he was forced to stay for breakfast. As he took a drag from a cigarette - pointed towards an open window, but still - Izi-chan had grabbed it from his hand and threw it down the garbage disposal. He'd glared at her and she'd slapped down a box of nicotine patches.

"Merry fucking Christmas," she had spat. (a/n: Happy now, darlings?)

Afterwards they had had a fight in the kitchen which the rest of the household had ignored nervously. The argument had ended with Hatori storming out without the patches and Izi-chan running her hands through her hair and overall looking like a wreck. This had alarmed Tohru, but apparently it was a rather average Christmas for the rest of them.

Then Kyo had trudged downstairs looking every bit the part of Scrooge or Grinch or Grumpy the Dwarf or whatever he had been aiming for that day. He had blushed upon seeing Tohru, and she had blushed back, but hurriedly Shigure and Izi-chan had presented him with a large present.

He had peered at them suspiciously but tore the tree-patterned paper off. Scowling at what lay beneath, he had drawled, "That's funny. Wow, guys, that's just hilarious."

Yuki and Momiji had both burst out laughing at the huge bag of Meow Mix.

Apparently too tired to yell at them, he had turned and muttered, "_Aaaand_ I'm going back to bed."

"No!" Tohru had squealed. When everyone turned to stare at her - including Kyo - she had blushed deeply and mumbled, "Well, I mean, you really should have something to eat."

The rest of breakfast and gift-exchanging had gone by relatively peacefully. Tohru had received two beautiful pairs of earrings, a novel she'd been thinking about buying for herself, a pair of long mauve hair ribbons, and - to her surprise - a cell phone.

"Oh, Izi-chan, I can't accept this!" she had protested.

"Of course you can. It's the season of _giving_, Tohru, and if I feel like giving you a cell phone and paying for it's monthly plan, then I will."

Someone - Tohru couldn't remember who - had mentioned something about Kyo's gift for her, making the Cat stiffen and avert his eyes and the rest of the group perk up with interest.

"No, no, it's fine," Tohru had said, fingering the gold chain still around her neck; the locket was hidden by her shirt. "Kyo-kun, er, gave me his gift last night."

Whether she had subconsciously meant it or not, she was realizing only now how that statement could have been misconstrued by Kyo.

Now, sitting in her bedroom and still twirling that piece of hair, Tohru replayed her confrontation with Kyo later that day. She had been washing down the counter when she heard him clearing his throat behind. She looked over her shoulder at him, but she was then distracted when she was hit with a major sense of déjà vu: Kyo was standing under the doorway again, and it was _still_ marred with mistletoe. She stared at the troublesome plant until Kyo looked up too and quickly moved out from under it with his cheeks stained red.

"So, um, I really think we should talk - "

"Kyo-kun," she had interrupted. "Please don't finish that sentence with 'about last night.' Please, just don't."

"Um..." He had just _looked_ at then. Tohru had noted how tired he seemed, like he had aged years since the night before. "Tohru, we really need to talk about it."

"What is there to talk about?" she'd asked flippantly, but she knew Kyo had noticed the nervous edge to her voice. "We were under the mistletoe, it's a tradition."

"Tohru, only _I_ was under the mistletoe. You were standing at the sink."

"Kyo-kun." She had smiled warmly, masking the nearly unbearable pain she felt in her stomach at the words she was about to say. "I'd been drinking champagne. We were both tired from everything, and it was just... just the Christmas season making us crazy. Don't worry about it."

When she had tried to turn back to her chore, Kyo had called out, "But, what you said - !"

Quietly, she's questioned, "What did I say?"

She wondered now if she had really seen his face fall slightly at her words. She knew what she had said right before she'd kissed him, but she also knew that if she had given in to her feelings at that moment then she'd never be able to go back. And that hurt too much.

But the desperate look in Kyo's eyes had disappeared as he blinked. He'd indifferently said, "Well, okay then. It never happened."

Tohru had watched him turn around slowly and walk out of the room. As soon as she knew he had gone, she'd ran silently to the bathroom and shoved a towel in her face to muffle her sobs.

And now it was New Year's Eve day. A whole week after their awkward exchange. Of course, they were polite to each other during that week, and things never got _too_ awkward, but deep down in the pit of her heart Tohru knew that the balance between the two of them had shifted the tiniest bit. And maybe she wouldn't have noticed it at all if, two days after the incident, she hadn't knocked on his door after dinner and asked him if he wanted to play Truth.

"Oh, um," he had stuttered, looking at the floor. "Actually, I'm kinda tired right now, so..."

"Oh!" Tohru had said with a mix of slight shock and hurt. "Yeah, yeah, no, okay, that's fine. I was just wondering."

"Yeah, thanks, thank you."

They'd smiled at each other uneasily until Kyo had looked at the ceiling and Tohru had pathetically mumbled, "I-I'm just gonna go check on something."

Back in the present, she pulled at the lock of hair that still sat between her fingers until she felt pain. She felt like crying every time she saw Kyo now, and they hadn't played Truth since before Christmas. Was this what their friendship would be like from now on? Strained and awkward? Nervous that if they talked for too long they would dredge up something that would make them both freeze up?

Tohru couldn't live that way. Kyo meant too much to her for them to be that way together.

"Tohru!" Izi-chan called from downstairs. "Arisa and Saki are here! Come one, we're gonna start the New Year's cleaning soon!"

She sleepwalked through the chores. Uotani and Izi-chan were teasing Kyo for his sulking behavior, but Tohru could barely force herself to smile anymore, much less laugh with them or even really wonder w_hy_ Kyo was sulking.

Lunch came, and Tohru relaxed her frozen smile as she started on soba for everyone. She couldn't take much more of this facade; she couldn't keep being a shell of the happy person she once was because she and Kyo were having issues.

"Honda-san?"

She whipped around with her false smile already in place. "Yes, Yuki-kun?"

The Rat gazed at her with his eyes wide and concerned and his brow drawn. Tohru took in the worry lines at his forehead, preparing a speech about how he shouldn't worry about her.

"Honda-san," he began. "Are... are you alright? And please, tell me the truth. You won't be troubling me, really."

And just like that, her speech jumped right out of her head and she felt her eyes fill with tears. The pure care and worry about him was just too much: a lump formed in her throat and suddenly she was sobbing loudly.

"Honda-san! Honda-san, what is it?" He was right in front of her now, clutching her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Everything!" she cried. She knew she must have looked a wreck with all the snot and big fat tears she could feel escaping her. "Everything's wrong! I-I said the wrong things and I did the wrong things and now he hates me!" She cringed when her voice cracked pathetically every few words.

"Who, Honda-san? Who hates you?"

She could only shake her head and cry some more. No words could come.

Yuki's voice dropped dangerously low as he uttered, "Is it Kyo? Honda-san, what did that _baka neko_ do to you?"

"I-it's not... I-I thought I w-was-s-s-s-s..." she cried incoherently. "Wuh-huh-why did I-I say it?"

"Honda-san... T-_Tohru_-san... please, whatever it is, please don't cry," he begged. "Whatever happened between you and Kyo - that's what it's about, isn't it? - whatever it is, you will get through it. I promise. You're too strong to let someone as stupid as stupid as Kyo get you down so much."

Tohru listened to his words and tried to believe them. Maybe even a part of her did. But a bigger part scoffed at this; he was only saying it to get her to stop crying, after all, and they were friends so it wasn't as if he couldn't just say, "Yeah, looks like you fucked up big time, princess." Not that Yuki would say something like that anyway (those lines were for Izi-chan).

But he was right: she didn't let things depress her, because otherwise she wouldn't be Tohru Honda. And if she wasn't Tohru Honda, then who was she?

Taking in a long, much-needed breath, Tohru wiped her tears away with her sleeve. Yuki hurriedly handed her a piece of paper towel, which she humbly accepted and wiped her leaking nose. Neither spoke as she cleaned herself up - Tohru was thankful for that. When she was sure she didn't look like the swamp thing, she turned to Yuki and gave him her first real smile in a while.

"You called me by my first name."

* * *

Tohru made him promise not to tell anyone about her little "episode," and after making an excuse about being tired and her "allergy"-induced red eyes to the others, she crawled into bed and fell into a restless sleep.

She dreamed of what they were, a few short days ago, and where they went wrong. The kitchen, Christmas day, obviously, but had it been building up before that?

The party. The blackout. The mistletoe - God, the fucking mistletoe. The locket.

Was it still around her neck? Oh God, she hadn't checked it when she was cleaning - she'd feel terrible if she lost it. Before all this tension it was a beautiful piece of jewelry, a gift from Kyo, a possibility. What was it now? Still beautiful, clearly, but what else? The past - she felt so stupid thinking about it as 'the past,' since it was only a week ago - and thinking in simpler terms. Perhaps with the shift of their relationship (or lack thereof) she had matured. She knew she was far from a child, but her womanhood was almost completely physical - her mind was still childlike in many ways. People often treated her like a tot, too, and her naivete was ridiculous at times.

Kyo never treated her like a child. He was quite overprotective, though, and that made her happy. She realized now that maybe that was less because he thought of her as delicate and breakable and in need of rescuing and more because he knew she just couldn't take care of herself: that damn naivete.

Her dreams took a rather strange turn next: from just her and her thoughts, everything became so vivid with color, but dull when it reached the center, like it had been done up with crayon and then outlined with a Magic Marker. The brightness of everything made her eyes sting, yet she couldn't look away. Her friends appeared, grinning and taking her hands and they were spinning so fast and all the colors swirled together and she was laughing and they were calling her name.

The sky turned a great orange and her friends danced danced danced danced danced. She wanted to join them but some invisible force kept her back, so she sat and was mesmerized by the way her violet skirt fanned out around her, and suddenly she was floating in midair and her friends called her name from beneath her. She waved to them but then they looked terrified and they were screaming. The sound hurt her ears but it only got worse as she tried to cover them. She couldn't tell why they were so scared.

A giant cat's paw swooped down from the clouds and swatted her. She hit a tree and she saw the cat, but it was much smaller and it was striped purple and orange. Smiling kindly at the cat - she remember how much she liked them - she reached out her hand to it and it stretched obscenely and the cat scratched her palm anyway. Great, circular drops of scarlet blood flowed from her hand and she cried to the cat, "How could you do this? Are you mad?"

It only peered at her, cocking its head to the right, then the left, then the right again, until finally it grinned and the grin stretched in the same absurd way her hand had.

"We're all mad here."

She fell out of the tree and her dream turned black, streaked with purple and orange. Her friends still called her name as she hit the ground.

She awoke with a start. Panting, gasping, sweat beading her forehead, the whole bit. Like she was in some cheesy thriller movie and she'd just had a whole montage for her dream. Next she'd hear voices or something stupid.

"... have any proof?"

"Who else could it have been?"

"But do you have any _proof_?"

Ah, irony. How you've been missed.  
_  
I shouldn't eavesdrop,_ she thought. _This is wrong. So, so wrong._

She looked all around her as if to check that no one was looking, then silently crept from her bed and crouched next to her ever-so-slightly-ajar door, straining to hear the conversation taking place outside.

"... surprised you haven't pulled the onsen card and gone to beat the shit out of him again."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence."

"You know what I mean."

It was Izi-chan and Yuki.

"But... I mean it makes sense, but what led up to it?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

She heard Izi-chan tap her foot. Then, "Tohru, how long to you plan on listening to our conversation?"

How did she do that?

"How did you do that?" Tohru asked, still behind the door.

"Years of experience," she replied. "Now get your ass out here before Yuki had a stroke."

As soon as the door clicked behind her, Yuki tried to explain himself. "Honda-san, I know I promised not to tell, but I was really worried about you, and I didn't know who else to talk to, and by then Uotani-san and Hanajima-san had already gone home -"

"Wait," Tohru interrupted. "How long was I asleep?"

"Oh, um, a few hours. It's about half past five now. Uotani-san and Hanajima-san said they were sorry they didn't say goodbye, but they didn't want to wake you."

"I... Yuki-kun..." She ran a hand through her hair.

"Honda-san, I'm so sorry," he said sincerely. "I betrayed your trust, but I didn't know what to do and I was frightened by your sudden fit, and like I said, I didn't know what to do..."

If Tohru hadn't been so confused by the situation, she would have found a flustered Yuki - Prince Yuki, always cool, calm, and collected - quite funny. But the circumstances being what they were, she didn't dare laugh.

"... and then Izi-chan asked me what was up, and I just sort of told her everything, and -"

"Yuki-kun!" Tohru exclaimed. "Calm down! It's alright, it really is. I would be worried, too, if I were in your position. But I'm fine, honestly."

He regarded her dubiously at best. Suspiciously, he began, "Honda-san, if you don't mind... what I mean to say is, what caused you to... er, well, you know."

Oh, joy. The thing way, way up there on Tohru's Things That So Are Awkward To Talk About That I Just Might Kill Myself So That I Don't Have To list. She searched her brain for something plausible she could say that would get Yuki off her back, but it worked out that she didn't have to.

"Just PMS, Yuki, no need to get your panties in such a bunch," Izi-chan said nonchalantly. "Isn't that right Tohru?"

She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, and finally closing it and nodding. Something in the way Izi-chan was looking at her told her to go along with it.

Meanwhile, a lovely pink came to dust Yuki's cheeks. "I... you mean to tell me that the whole thing was because of, er, _feminine problems_?" he questioned doubtfully (and awkwardly).

"Yep," Izi-chan responded with the utmost casualty. "That time of the month. Surfing the crimson wave. Riding the cotton pony. Red death. You get the idea."

Yuki's face turned pinker. He looked to be mentally arguing with himself, but in the end his suspicion at Izi-chan's explanation was won over by his embarrassment at discussing Tohru's menstruation with either girl (or anybody at all). He reached out and quickly squeezed Tohru's hand, shooting her an awkward smile, then walked to the stairs much faster than was necessary.

Once he was definitely gone, Izi-chan grabbed Tohru's arm and pulled the both of them inside the younger girl's room. Without looking up from her task of slamming and locking the door, Izi-chan bluntly said, "So what's the real reason you exploded?"

"I - I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about!" Tohru exclaimed in slight shock at Izi-chan's lack of delicacy with the subject.

"I'm sure you don't. But as terrible as it is to bleed from your vagina every month - I feel your pain, honey - I've never seen you get that bad." She whipped around and placed her hands on her low-slung-jeans-clad hips. "So spill."

Any lying was futile, Tohru knew; Izi-chan was a human bullshit-radar. She rubbed her forehead tiredly to bide her time, then sighed for a long moment.

"Stalling!"

"I know," she whimpered. She sighed a real sigh this time. "Izi-chan, it's just really, really, complicated, and I'm exhausted by the whole thing. Can we please just not?"

Izi-chan raised her professionally-sculpted brows at Tohru showing a human emotion. She mumbled something that sounded like "one of them's grown a pair," but that Tohru knew could be absolutely anything. She pursed her lips and her face became pinched. Not looking at Tohru, she asked, "Does this have anything to do with whatever's going on with you and Kyo?"

"Mayb - no."

"Are you _sure_?"

"No?" she repeated.

Izi-chan sighed, "Sweetie -"

"I can't figure out what I did wrong!" she blurted out fervently. "Ever since we kissed at Christmas -"

"Whoa! Rewind: when did you guys kiss?"

"Uh, under the mistletoe while you guys were hanging out in the living room, during the blackout. But that's not my point!" She flopped down onto her bed in exasperation. "Izi-chan, what am I even doing? I don't have a chance with Kyo-kun, and it's clear he has no interest in me other than friendship. Even that seems like a stretch. I should save us all the trouble and just give up."

She was so set on this decision, so fed up with her own incompetence, that when a second later Izi-chan yelled, "_No!_" she was so surprised that she sat straight up. Her surprise continued when she laid eyes upon Izi-chan's face - always so lovely, full of self-assurance - twisted with an angry, disgusted expression.

"Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Tohru?" Despite the harsh tone, Tohru relaxed slightly as this was something she'd probably already heard her friend say. But Izi-chan wasn't finished, and it only got worse from there.

"How can you say that?" she barked. "So, just because you've hit a bump in the road, you're gonna roll over and die? Let some random skank sink her claws into Kyo? Or, what if Kyo wakes up one morning and decides he wants to take _Kagura_ up on her offer of obsessive lust?" She scowled at Tohru incredulously. "Is that what you want? Is it really?"

Although it felt like a chunk of lead had landed in her stomach, Tohru swallowed her indignation and stated that if it made Kyo happy, she would let him go.

"Oh, you're full of _shit!_" Izi-chan spat. Tohru stared at her in shock; that was probably the most vulgar thing that anyone had ever said to her.

"No, ah, _fuck_. That's not what I meant," Izi-chan corrected, looking guilty now. "I know that you most likely _would_ let him go, but you'd regret it for the rest of your life! Can you honestly tell me that every time you saw Kyo and whatever girl he'd end up with if you gave up, every time you saw them together, your heart wouldn't just break a little bit more?"

"Y-yes," she whimpered. "I... I would have to learn to live with it."

The auburn-haired girl's forehead wrinkled with misery. "Tohru, trust me, it's not worth it. It's too much pain for one person. That's why you've got to _keep going_ with this whole thing, because if you don't... you'll be eaten alive by your grief."

As she finished her spiel, Tohru couldn't figure out why Izi-chan was so adamant about Tohru giving up with Kyo. Sure, Tohru and Izi-chan were good friends, and Kyo was her cousin, but Izi-chan must have had more friends that she could count and an even greater number of cousins. What made the angry orange-head Cat and the dumpy Honda girl so special?

If she was being honest with herself, though, Tohru knew that she would rather slit her own wrists than give up on Kyo. It just felt like she was going nowhere with her attempts, and who wanted to be on a train to the imaginary boonies?

"Shit," she heard Izi-chan mutter. She zoned back in and saw the older girl scowling at her cell phone.

"Tohru," she said, "I'm really sorry, but I kind of have to go to the Main House for New Year's in, like, two minutes."

"What - I thought you said you didn't have to go?"

"Yeah." She scratched the back of her head uncomfortably. "Well, Akito and I have an... understanding. Again, I'm really, really sorry, but I'm sort of expected to go meet and greet. Will you and Kyo be okay alone?"

"Oh." Tohru had somehow forgotten that Yuki was planning on going to the Main House this year, but after Christmas she had sort of been counting on Izi-chan to stay at Shigure's and play peacemaker so that she and Kyo wouldn't have to talk awkwardly too much. "Well, um, that's fine. I'm sure Kyo-kun and I can survive one night alone, yeah. A-actually, I think I need to talk to him anyway."

Izi-chan snapped her head up from turning off the alarm on her phone and stared at Tohru. She half-smiled and said, "Good for you. Don't _ever _give up." And with a hug goodbye, a shout of "Yuki, time to go!", and a front door slam, they were gone and Tohru and Kyo were all alone.

* * *

For a while, it really wasn't that bad. Izi-chan and Yuki left around sunset, and Shigure had been at the Main House all day, so Tohru just fixed herself up with a book and got lost for about an hour. But right when Bella visited the abandoned Cullen house and she felt her eyes widen, her stomach snarled at her to eat something. She was halfway down the stairs when she realized it was only common decency to ask Kyo if he was also hungry.

(a/n: I'm sorry, I just could not resist to put that in. As you all know, I am a Twilight fangirl. Tohru's reading _New Moon_ because my homie Lily is reading my copy of it.)

She slowly trekked back upstairs to Kyo's room. She raised her fist to knock, then retracted it in a moment of weakness.  
_  
Good for you. Don't _ever _give up_.

Oh, was she really going to wimp out on something as simple as food? It was a perfectly innocent excuse; everyone had to eat. With a determined new smile on her face, she knocked (feebly) on Kyo's door and swiftly felt her courage die when the Cat poked his expressionless orange head out.

"What is it?"

"Um... I, uh, I'm going to make myself some dinner. I thought I'd ask if you were hungry," she stated lamely. Feeling stupider every second, she added, "Everyone else is at the Main House."

"I know."

"Oh." She bit the inside of her lip and smile awkwardly. "So, yeah, I can make us whatever you want, if you're hungry..."

"Uh, yeah, that's okay. I kinda just had a bit snack, so I'm not really starving or anything."

"Oh, okay," she mumbled, giving him a big ol' fake grin like she didn't feel like she'd just gotten punched in the gut. "Just... thought I'd ask."

"Yeah, okay."

As she stood in the kitchen five minutes later shaping onigiri, she ground her teeth - she could practically hear Izi-chan scolding her that it would ruin her smile - and cursed this damn awkward mess of her friendship with Kyo.

And she was _angry_ now. Truthfully, she got angry all the time - she was only human, after all. But most of the time she figured people had good reasons for doing less-than-pleasant things, even if she couldn't see it herself. Plus, as the saying goes: _Do unto others as you'd like done unto yourself_, or whatever. Naive as it sounded, Tohru lived by that, and as far as she knew almost everybody else did, too.

But the anger: who did Kyo think he was, acting so weird just because she didn't want him to make a big deal out of the kiss? Well... _no, shut up_. But really, she probably would have reacted like that too. Except that was because she was in love with him, so that couldn't be why he was so bent out of shape. He wasn't in love with her, that much she was sure of, but...

_No buts!_ She couldn't dare get her hopes up. That would hurt even more than the letdown she was already expecting. (Great, now she was thinking negatively, which was also on her list of _don'ts_.)

Her heated conversation with Izi-chan came rushing back to her, and she felt guilt and shame all over again. She'd told Izi-chan she would talk with Kyo about the whole thing - was it because she was actually planning on doing it, or just to get the older girl off her back?

The abandoned onigiri on the counter said, _The former, dears, the former_.

* * *

Tohru raised her fist to knock once again, nearly grinning at the action. She then forced her face back into a blank slate and knocked with much more force than her previous one. Kyo once again poked his head out, this time slight confusion marring his otherwise flawless execution of Passionless.

"Yes?"

"Kyo-kun, I need to speak with you," she said, willing her voice not to shake the way her knees felt like doing right about now.

He shifted his weight tensely. "Um, now's not a really good time, 'cause I'm kind of tired an -"

"No, Kyo-kun," she interrupted, surprising them both. "Because ever time I try to talk to you these days you're always tired, or now 'isn't a good moment,' or you 'just had a big snack,' or something like that. So now will have to be a good moment, because we're talking."

If she hadn't heard the words come out of her mouth in exactly that order with exactly that tone, she herself would not have believed Tohru Honda said something like that.

Apparently the same thing was running through Kyo's mind: whether out of shock or morbid curiosity - you know that saying about cats, after all - he opened his door the rest of the way for Tohru to strut in with her accidental ballsiness. She opted not to sit on his bed, because although it would be more comfortable than the rigid stance she now assumed, it would only make what she had to get off her chest harder to say.

"Kyo-kun, we need to talk," she repeated sternly.

"Yeah, I got that part." She could practically hear his eyes rolling in his tone. "What about?"

"About..." But the bold newborn creature inside of her started shrinking, clawing away all her confidence in an effort to stay on the boat. She felt her face flush slightly. "Um, about us," she said finally.

"What _about_ us?" Kyo questioned, somewhat coldly now. "I didn't know there _was_ an 'us' to talk about."

Tohru ran her eyes over him quickly - he wasn't facing her, but she could tell from his tone that he was scowling. She hadn't the slightest clue why, though.

"What I mean is," she began hesitantly, "that ever since... a week ago, we've barely talked, and when we do, it's so - the air is so tense that I, I just can't stand it!" By the end of her statement she found herself nearly yelling.

Kyo whipped around to face her now, and Tohru gasped at the blatant anger burning his handsome features. His fierce glare sent a pang of fear through her heart, though Tohru knew that even in his maddest state he would never harm her. But as he narrowed his eyes at her like she was a predator or a rival, she feared for her neck.

"Well, gee, Tohru," he spat in a nasty, sarcastic voice. "I'm _real_ sorry that things aren't working out how you wanted, and you can't be _bee eff effs_ with everybody, but just what the fuck did you think would happen?"

Her eyes felt like the size of saucers. "Wh-what do you mean?" she whispered timidly.

"I mean," he replied in the same nasty tone, "that you can't just kiss someone like that and then expect things to go back to exactly the way they were."

"What?" Tohru cried incredulously. _That's_ what he was acting so weird about? She hadn't _seriously_ thought that's what his reason would be; she's only thrown the suggestion around for the sake of argument. "Is - is that what this is about?"

"Well, yeah, Tohru, it is," he answered spitefully, throwing his hands up in the air. "Jesus Christ, what did _you_ think? Did you think I was just _'going through something'_? Sorry, but that's not how that _works_."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?!" she yelled, stunning them both again. But she didn't even have time to feel embarrassed, because she wasn't through speaking yet. "Was I just supposed to _guess_ that you were feeling down because of the kiss? What do you want from me?" she cried, near tears.

"I wasn't upset because of the kiss, Tohru. I was upset because the next day when I really wanted to _talk _to you about it, you just shrugged me off and acted like it never happened. But it _did _happen, Tohru, no matter how much you want to blame it on too much champagne or whatever, _it happened_."

If Tohru had been speaking with anyone else, she would have sworn that Kyo was near tears, too.

"What was I supposed to do, Kyo-kun?" she questioned through clenched teeth. The tears escaped her eyes and were running down her cheeks and dripping onto her neck; distantly, she found this uncomfortable. "What did you want me to say about a kiss that meant nothing t me?" She could practically see Izi-chan widening her eyes at Tohru, then looking away with anger and disappoint shining loudly. Tohru was disappointed in herself for her terrible lies.

Kyo's hands were shaking, and Tohru could only guess why. He opened his mouth and sharp words spewed out, shooting Tohru through the heart. "Well, it meant something to _me_. Shit, I don't even know _what_. But I can't just write it off as some drunken hook-up, okay?!"

Tohru started to sob. She couldn't decipher what he was saying. She wanted so badly to tell him everything she was feeling, but her throat was clogged and she had a feeling that even if it wasn't she wouldn't be able to push the right words out of her mouth.

"Oh, Tohru, no, please, please don't cry," she heard Kyo plead in a the gentlest voice he'd used since before Christmas. "Please, come on, I know I'm an idiot. Don't cry."

She ignored his tender begging, which only made her feel worse, and wiped her eyes miserably. An indifferent piece of her mind reflected on if it was healthy or not to cry this much in one day; probably not, she thought. The next thing she knew, though, Kyo's arms were wrapping around her waist and her already-clouded vision was clouded further by orange smoke. Instantly, she felt a tiny bit better.

As she moved to Kyo's bed and sat down with the orange Cat still clinging to her sides, she made herself stop crying long enough to clear her throat come to some sort of compromise. "Kyo-kun," she began in a croaky voice, "I just... I hate that we can't talk like we used to. I miss being your friend and laughing together and sharing everything. And Truth. I miss playing Truth with you, Kyo-kun. I... I don't really know what the kiss meant to me, or what any of the kisses meant to me, but if they get in the way of our friendship then I don't want them to have happened. Is that so wrong?"

His pensive Cat eyes seemed to shake with the mysterious emotion Tohru couldn't determine, and softly he replied, "You're right." In his adorable Cat way, Kyo's eyes crinkled and the corners of his lips turned upwards, radiating warmth into every frozen limb Tohru possessed from her melancholy. Without even trying, she found herself smiling back. Her eyes filled with tears again, but this time it was from happiness.

Kyo was still freaked out, though. "Hey, come on, I thought we settled this! Don't cry! Don't cry, it's okay!"

"No, no, Kyo-kun. I'm crying because I'm so _happy_ that things are going back to normal with us." She choked out a laugh and grinned as tears slipped past her mouth. "You're one of my best friends, Kyo-kun. I wouldn't be able to live without you." _More than you know,_ she added mentally. She hated her cowardice; she wanted to scream to the heavens what she was feeling for once.

"Yeah. Me too."

So they sat and made up for the week of no real conversation and played some more Truth. It was getting harder to think of questions, because by now they knew practically everything about each other. But Tohru survived: If you were a woman, what celebrities would you think were good looking; do you think you'll lose your hair when you get older; do you ever watch sad movies just so you can cry.

And Kyo answered: Johnny Depp, hands down; probably, but I'd still look good; and no, because Real Men don't cry. (Tohru countered with of course they do, that was what made them _real_ Real Men.)

It was around eleven, though, that Kyo jumped from Tohru's arms and announced that there was someone he had to speak with, preferably before the New Year.

"Who is it, if you don't mind my asking?" Tohru inquired. A tiny part of her smoldered that it could be a girl.

"Oh, um, I just really need to talk to Shishou. I've barely seen him since Christmas, so..."

"Okay! I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."  
_  
_And so she left the room, distantly hearing the _POOF!_ of his changing back, and saw him off with a smile and a wave, urging him to be safe and all that. Kyo had already informed her he would sleep at Kazuma's house that night, as the shishou didn't attend the Main House's New Year's celebration.

The smile stayed frozen on Tohru's face as she watched him walk until he was too far away to watch. It stayed on her face as she thought about New Year's again, about the change and snow and hope and everything. It stayed on her face as the clock struck midnight.

And it stayed on her face as she gripped the house's sharpest pair of scissors tightly in her hand and began her rise from the ashes.

* * *

"Oh honeys, I'm ho-_ome_!" Izi-chan trilled from the front room as she clumsily removed her shoes. "And I brought some stolen Sohma bubbly!"

The only reply was silence. Walking down the hallway, she glanced at the wall clock: it read nine past twelve. Tohru and Kyo couldn't possibly be asleep so _early_.

"Come on, kiddies! Let's get shit-faced and stay up to watch the first sunrise!"

Still nothing.

"Oh, you two had _better_ not be asleep..." She padded up the stairs sing-songing, "_Tooooooooo-_hru! Ky_-ooooooooo_!"

She poked her head into Kyo's room first and frowned upon seeing it empty. "Silly kitty..." Scampering across the hall, she threw open Tohru's door and yelled, "Guess who!" The gasp that escaped her lips was drowned out by the crash of the champagne bottle hitting the floor and spraying the drink everywhere.

Tohru grinned up at Izi-chan from the floor. The scissors sat in front of her along with a pile of her hair.

* * *

She nearly cried.

Tohru would not have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, but Izi-chan almost cried when she saw what Tohru had done. She shrieked that it was such a waste, such long gorgeous hair.

"All of it!" she'd wailed, waving her hands in front of her face to keep the tears at bay. "It was past your waist, for God's sakes! And now just _look_ at it!"

Tohru also did not believe that hair salons were open so late on New Year's, and for the most part they weren't. But Izi-chan had friends in high places and happened to know a guy who owed her a favor. This man owned a salon and was throwing a party for his staff, and so when Izi-chan had practically frogmarched Tohru and her hacked-up hair in the beauticians went crazy.

"Well," the man - Tohru learned his name was Kazuo - had said slowly, touching and observing Tohru's messy mop. "I'm going to start off saying you have gorgeous hair, dear. Just beautiful."

"Here's a picture of it _before_ she destroyed it!" Izi-chan had shrieked, waving her digital camera in Kazuo's face. Tohru heard the flamboyant man gasp.

"Okay, well, we'll just have to work with what we've got, right? Do you have any preferences, honey?" he'd asked her.

She didn't hesitate as she grinned and said, "Just make it different. Anything different. I want a whole new beginning."

Kazuo had shrugged. "Happy New Year, doll face."

After her initial period of shrieking pissed-offedness and pouting, Izi-chan had softened up and announced she would be cutting her hair too, in the same length as Tohru's new 'do. "To make the transition easier for you," she'd explained. "Believe me, it seems like a fantastic idea now, but just wait a couple days and you'll feel the delayed shock. Trust me on this one Tohru."

Although Tohru wouldn't have complained if she'd had to walk around with her home-cut riot of hair, she was rather content with how Kazuo had improved the cut, giving her smooth, straight layers that fell right above the tops of her shoulders. Observing herself in the large salon mirror, she thought she looked older, more mature - mysterious, some how. Completely different from her old, boring long hair.

And, true to her word, Izi-chan had sacrificed her own long, thick auburn locks for a shorter 'do. Her hair being naturally wavier than Tohru's, however, made her new hair fall in gentle ringlets around her face. Together, they looked like a pair of stylish young socialites - except for the fact that Tohru was practically falling asleep on her feet and Izi-chan was sporting a look that could kill.

Following hugs and kisses to all the staff at the salon, especially the ecstatic-from-his-work Kazuo, the two newly-styled ladies climbed into Izi-chan's Bug and made they journey home at around one thirty in the morning. Tohru couldn't stop grinning at her reflection, a little bit shocked that the pretty short-haired girl in the side view mirror was her, but Izi-chan was full of questions that she was not about to let go unanswered.

"Why were you alone when I got there?"

"Kyo-kun went to visit Shishou-san."

"What, he just _left_? He left you all alone in the middle of the night?!"

"Well, he told me he was leaving. But it's okay because we worked things out."

"Seriously?" she questioned in shock. "You guys talked about it and stuff?"

"Yes! And we even played Truth afterward." Tohru sighed joyfully. "Izi-chan, I'm so _happy_! I don't think I could have survived if I didn't have him as a friend."

Glancing at Tohru for the shortest second possible, Izi-chan frowned and said, "But, Tohru, I thought friendship was exactly what you _didn't_ want with him. I thought the main idea was, you know, love. Happily ever after and all that."

Tohru tore her eyes away from her reflection - she was becoming such a narcissist - and pretended to scratch her neck. "Well, yes, that is the long-term goal."

"I hear a 'but.'"

"But I still want to be his friend," she finished. "What good is someone to love if you can't talk to them the way I can talk to Kyo-kun? That seems like quite the unsatisfying relationship, indeed."

"Um, when did you become Elizabeth Bennet?" Izi-chan teased. (a/n: Yeah, sorry, I'm reading _Pride and Prejudice_ rigtht now. Thinking in British accents.)

"I'm just saying."

"I know. And you're right."

They discussed Tohru's confrontation of Kyo - Izi-chan actually pulled over so she could adequately gape at Tohru - and admired each other's new hairstyle. As they arrived back at Shigure's house, Izi-chan stopped the car but signaled for Tohru to stay with her for a moment.

"I proud of you, you know. And don't say anything like you don't deserve what I'm about to say, because you totally do, so shut up and let me talk," she added as Tohru opened her mouth. The latter closed it dejectedly and the former continued. "I think there was a lot of emotional baggage you got rid of when you cut your hair. From the pictures I've seen of you, you've only just let it grow and never cut it more than an inch. But tonight..." She turned in her seat to face Tohru and smiled beautifully. "You confronted Kyo and got what you wanted, _and_ you made a significant physical change about yourself. That takes some serious ba - er, guts. Some serious guts. And you did it."

Tohru leaned back in her own seat and smiled, at her friend and herself. "Yeah. I guess I did," she whispered.

They let the comfortable silence surround them for a few minutes before Izi-chan declared she was freezing her ass off and could go for some eggnog. As they trekked the short distance to the house, Tohru was struck by a distinctly un-Tohru-like thought. A sly thought; mischievous. One might even describe it as _naughty_ - in more ways than one.

"Izi-chan," she called to her friend, who was already pouring herself a generous glass of 'nog in the kitchen. "Have you given any thought to your New Year's resolutions?"

"Actually, yes," she replied, handing Tohru her own glass of creamy drink. "I've decided I'm going to stop meddling this year. No more embarrassing you and Kyo, since obviously you can take care of yourselves in that department." She looked quite proud of her selfless resolution, but that just wouldn't work for Tohru.

Enjoying the thrill she was getting from her little act, Tohru shook her head and pursed her lips. "Oh, I'm afraid that's rather unfortunate." She glanced sideways at Izi-chan's amused, slightly puzzled expression.

"And why is that, wee one?" she questioned haughtily. Tohru grinned at this response - _hook, line, and sinker_, she mused.

"Because my resolution is to seduce Kyo-kun."

Izi-chan's jaw literally dropped. Tohru bit her lip to keep her laughter in.

But after only a beat of silence, Izi-chan beamed and shrieked, "That's perfect! 'Cause I totally wasn't serious about not meddling and you're gonna need a _lot_ of help with this."

Tohru chose not to take offense at this, instead sipping her eggnog and lightly touching her new short hair. Izi-chan continued to babble.

"... and I actually have some tips written down, 'cause in middle school I was way into they whole 'love guidebook' thing and I was like, 'I'll start my own!' But then I got bored halfway through and didn't finish, which I really should have seen coming since I was only, like, thirteen or fourteen and my attention span was _way_ short. But one of my favorites was - "

"Izi-chan!"

"Yes?"

"Save it for later, okay?" Tohru said. She turned her head and watched the snow float to the ground. "Let's just enjoy New Year's for now."

* * *

**I'm not really completely satisfied with this chapter. I think I'm writing Tohru as too codependent, which is the exact opposite of what I want.**

**Okay, so I'm having a rather superficial moral dilemma (which is sort of a contradiction). Last Friday I had no school because of some administration meeting thing (I don't really care about the specifics, as long as I'm not sitting in that hell hole) and so my friends and I went and hung out on the Avenue, which is this completely awesome street of local businesses and I am lucky enough to live within walking distance of it. Anyway, so we decided to go into this cute but ridiculously overpriced clothing store called Crush and started trying on stupidly expensive dresses and coats and then taking pictures of our fabulous selves (the sales girls gave us the evil eye). It was all crazy teenage girl fun, but then I happened to come across this gray T-shirt that had PEACE on it in purple, then under that a silkscreen of Janis Joplin. On the back it said **_**I'm going to be the first hippie pin-up girl**_**, which is a Janis Joplin quote. After trying it on, I determined that I looked utterly adorable in it - so modest am I! - and was all set on buying it until I glanced at the price tag and swiftly had a small, feminine heart attack: for a single cotton T-shirt, I was expected to pay fifty-eight dollars.**

**Although I only had a twenty on me, I knew I had the money at home and could easily buy the shirt. But FIFTY-EIGHT BUCKS? Am I being melodramatic when I say this is a ridiculous price for one cotton shirt? I mean, I buy my clothes mostly at thrift shops and stuff anyway, because I can find cool, unique things for almost nothing. But there are so many people in the world who have maybe two pairs of shoes at the most, and here I am spending over fifty bucks on a piece of cotton. I just feel guilty about it. What do you think?**

**Jesus Christ I can talk about myself for a while. Ignore the above author's note if it so suits you, but please review. I'm saying twenty-five reviews this time, because **_**I know you guys can do it.**_

__**Jax  
**  
**PS) Tohru's new 'do was inspired the hair style of my lovely friend Arra, she of the ridiculous hyperness and freakishly skinny build. You can't have my blue suede heels, sweetie.**


	28. Rules of Seduction

**Thank you to my awesome-sauce reviewers. Y'all rock my motherfucking world. And CONGRATULATIONS to Kyki- The Late Night Writer for being the 400th reviewer of **_**Ties of Love and Friendship**_**!! For your prize... I don't know. Cameo? Send me a PM and we'll talk.**  
**  
By the way, I bought the shirt. In case you care. Here's chapter 27. Oh, and OOC-ness, cuz it's Tohru flirting. 'Nuff said.**

Disclaimer: Nope.

* * *

  
Chapter 27 - Rules of Seduction (or, Baby's First "Fuck Me" Shoes)

Well of course Tohru had expected it to be difficult, but she hadn't though seducing Kyo would be _that_ difficult.

Izi had taken it upon herself to be the unsolicited-advice-dispensing fairy godmother to Tohru's romantically-impaired heroine. With the help of the eggnog, they talked for hours and watched the first sunrise, shooting out ridiculous New Year's resolutions and wishes ("I shall drink unicorn blood and live forever!" "I'm gonna win the Indie 500!" "I'll write a kick-ass song with lots of emotional depth!" "I want to go to Hogwarts!"). Kyo wandered in around eight in the morning and Tohru laughed as his eyes went as wide as dinner plates.

"Am I delirious from lack of sleep?" he mumbled.

"No, but we might be!" Izi giggled.

"I'm... gonna go pass out on my bed now."

Yuki came home shortly after - Shigure was staying the full three days - and his response to their new 'dos were similar to Kyo's. By eight twenty-seven, Tohru was snoring into the the kotatsu and Izi howled with laughter as she half-carried, half-dragged the girl's unconscious carcass up to her room. When Tohru woke up at four in the afternoon, Izi was sawing logs next to her and Kyo was recording it on Izi's digital camera.

Figuring her resolution could wait until later - bad Tohru! That's how people's diets get ruined - she followed Kyo out of the room and they just talked for hours. Kyo reported that Kazuma was doing well, thanks for asking, and Tohru gloated that she felt absolutely no fear when cutting her hair (Kyo being a guy, though, he did not see the massive accomplishment in this). Tohru would have continued their forever-continued conversation for, uh, forever, if Izi hadn't burst in with her Evil Eye set to kill.

"_Toooo_-hru," she cooed too sweetly. "I'm having a _female problem_. Come help me upstairs?"

Tohru looked to Kyo for help, but at the phrase 'female problem' he was already choking out some excuse about training. Izi grinned at him in a skin-crawling way and as soon as Kyo was out of the room she growled, "What are you thinking?!"

"Wh-what do you mean?" Tohru mumbled in a feeble attempt to act like she wasn't just doing what she knew Izi would not approve of.

"You know damn well what I mean. Why are you still acting all buddy-buddy with him?"

"I wasn't acting '_buddy-buddy_' with anyone!" Tohru replied, her wide eyes asking, _What'd I do?_ "Kyo-kun and I always play Truth!"

"You always played Truth when you were Just Friends," Izi corrected. "But now that you've resolved to make that skinny-assed carrot top yours, you can't keep encouraging the impression that you don't think of him in a romantic sense."

"D-do you think he thinks I don't? Or, or do?"

Izi blinked. "Sweetie, you _want_ him to think you do. Because you _do_. Remember?"

"Well, yeah, but..." She bit her bottom lip in a very good, very unconscious display of the epitome of innocence (which, considering her New Year's resolution, wasn't exactly true anymore).

"But what?" Izi questioned. "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts. _Please_ don't tell me you're having second thoughts."

"No, that's not - "

"Because I swear to God, Tohru," she hissed, "despite the fact that he can be a huge pain in my ass, he's still my blood and I care about him. If you break his heart..." She narrowed her eyes into deadly slits. "... I'll break _you_."

While most people would run away from the very real threat that was Izi - she could snap Tohru like a twig if she wanted to, after all, and anyone who had heard of her fight with Kagura knew she fought dirty - Tohru released her lip from between her teeth and her mouth curved up slowly. She knew Izi got fierce when it came to her friends, but Tohru had sort of assumed that Izi unconsciously thought of Kyo in the same way the rest of the Sohma family did: the cursed, unlovable Cat. To hear differently - and with such violent loyalty - made her smile even bigger.

This, it seemed, confused Izi-chan, who was more than willing to defend her cousin's honor. But at Tohru's perfect smile, she knew she wouln't be able to lay a finger on the girl - except, perhaps, to slap some sense into her.

"Izi," Tohru started serenely, "in no way, shape, or form am I having second thoughts about my feelings for Kyo-kun. But we've been friends for so long, and even after I knew I loved him I didn't think I'd ever be able to act on those feelings. So now, when I'm actually taking the step to make him know what I feel, I'm... I'm just scared, I guess."

"Well," Izi replied in the closest rendition of sheepish to ever cross her features, "that's understandable. I mean, you're getting ready to wear your heart on your sleeve, so you're _supposed_ to be scared." A slightly awkward cough jumped from her lips. She didn't avert her eyes when she continued with, "And, you know, about the 'I'll break you' thing..."

"Oh, you don't have to explain," Tohru rushed. "I know you didn't mean it."

"Oh, no, I meant it," she replied coolly. "And I _could_, if I needed to. But, um, I wouldn't be happy about doing it. I don't want to have to hurt you. So - so don't hurt him." She attempted to look threatening to emphasize her point, but the effect was killed by the caring look in her eye.

The room tensed slightly as the awkward, post-bonding silence set it. Tohru laughed nervously, and in her best Izi impression cawed, "Okay, shut up before things get sappy!"

"Hey, when have I ever said that?"

"Oh, um..."

"Never mind," she sniped. "We got totally sidetracked, but it's time we actually discussed how you're going to, uh... fulfill your resolution. You with me?"

"Uh, yes. Go on," Tohru urged.

Izi smirked at her, and suddenly Tohru felt like she was taking an apple from a wicked serpent. But she quickly shook the thoughts away as Izi continued, "First, you will run out of milk..."

* * *

Tohru felt her cheeks flush as she replayed Izi instructions over in her head, making sure she forgot nothing. She glanced quickly at Kyo, who walked next to her carrying the bags of milk and other household products they were suddenly out of. He then glanced at her, as if he was aware of the sheer weight of her gaze. In that embarrassing, awkward moment of not only being caught staring but being stared _at_, they both looked away and pretended their red faces were from the cold air.

Tohru cleared her throat. "So, um, I really appreciate you coming to help me with the groceries."

"It's no problem," he replied.

"Yeah. Heh." She looked away so that Kyo wouldn't notice how she was pinching herself and gritting her teeth. She wasn't doing this right at all. But as soon as that thought popped into her head, a tiny Izi-shaped shoulder devil appeared. Tohru wondered absently if she was going crazy...  
_  
Oh, don't worry, sweetie, you're still sane as any of us,_ the shoulder devil trilled. _Although, considering you hang out with mostly Sohmas, that isn't saying much. I'm just a cute, familiar projection of your subconscious mind, telling what you didn't _really _forget._

Um, Tohru thought hesitantly, still not completely assured of her sanity_. So, what do I... you know, _do_? Because I'm blanking, quite honestly._

Well, yes, you are. Were you listening at all to the instructions? Never mind. You "ran out" of milk and stuff, asked Kyo to escort you to the market - which, yeah, is totally old-fashioned and it's not like you're incapable of going alone, but still - and now you're wussing out, yes?

Oh, well...

Yes. But we can fix that, doll. The help has arrived.

Tohru discreetly frowned_. Then shouldn't you be a shoulder _angel_?_

Do you associate Izi with angels?  
  
Tohru pinched herself again to keep the smile off her face. _I mean, she's very..._

Yeah, she is very. But that kind of very will help you in this situation. Listen closely: pretend to yawn very loudly, throwing your arms above your head...

Tohru did as told, stretching her arms up as far as they would go.

_... now bring your arms down and very subtly brush your fingers over _his _arm._

As her fingertips grazed his coat-covered arm, Tohru was pleasantly surprised to feel him jump slightly at her touch. She had assumed he wouldn't feel it, or - worst case scenario - he'd just look at her with disgust and be all, "What do you think you're doing?"

In a flash of memories she had forbid herself to remember, Tohru had brushed her fingers along another part of Kyo while his lips were attached to her neck. She'd shivered with pleasure then and now, provoking Kyo's curious gaze.

"Are you cold?"

"Oh, I'm fi - " she started, then widened her eyes as one of the forgotten but not _really_ forgotten tips from Izi came back to her.

_If he asks you if you're cold, SAY YES. Ask him if he can HELP YOU WITH IT._

So she swallowed the rest of the "fine" she was about to say and did her best to smile coyly. "Actually," she purred (and prayed she didn't sound like and idiot), "my... hands are kind of cold." (Well, they weren't _hot_, so it's not a lie.) "Can warm me up?" she finished with a surprising mix of demure-flirty-witty.

"Sure, take my gloves," he replied with a completely straight face.

Tohru felt like a tiny cartoon arrow was striking her through the chest.

So. Not. Getting it.  
_  
Don't give up!_ the shoulder-Izi shrieked. _He may be clueless but he's still a _guy_! Use your feminine wiles!_

Feminine wiles. Right.

He tried to hand her his gloves, but she pushed them back at him and took a step closer. "I don't think you're understanding me," she murmured, curling her pinky around his. Slowly, she rolled the rest of her fingers around his and peered up at him, willing the blush off her cheeks. She let her lips purse the smallest bit, and gave a tiny smile from that.

"_Can - you - warm - me - up?_"

* * *

Was this for real?

Tohru - innocent, adorable Tohru - was flirting with Kyo? Asking him to _'warm her up,'_? What did she mean by _that_? Was that the sound of his dirty teenage-boy mind imploding? He could swear he felt a bit of goo coming out his ear... that, and the burning sensation of his face feeling like two hundred degrees.

_Her_ tiny hand. Curled around _his_. _Her_ pure eyes. Staring into _his_. _Her_ full lips. Nowhere near colliding with _his_.

It couldn't be. _She_ couldn't be. He couldn't get his hopes up. Couldn't.

But her hand was still in his, and their eyes were still locked. Tohru, too, had a fierce blush slapped against her cheeks and across her nose, but for all Kyo knew it was intentional. He, however, was most sure that he looked like the stop sign that stood a few feet away from them.

They were still standing in the middle of the street, huh?

One corner of Tohru's mouth quirked upward, reminding Kyo how stupid he must look. Without thinking, he lightly squeezed her hand in his. In reply, Tohru's smile grew and she squeezed back. Then, continuing her odd un-Tohru-like behavior, she laughed out loud and turned, pulling Kyo towards their woods with a call of, "Don't be slow-poke, Kyo-kun!"

He merely blinked. Smiled. Let her pull him home.

* * *

Tohru had not been aware that clothes talked. She wore her school uniform and work uniform almost every day, and those didn't say anything to her. When she wore her own clothes it was only because they were comfortable and sometimes cute-looking; she wasn't trying to make any statements. The same went for her shoes: if they're comfortable, she'll wear them.

Izi was more than eager to show her differently.

Every outfit - from the tips of her shoes to the style of her hair to everything else in between, including earrings, bracelets, and nail polish - apparently said something about what she was feeling or her "vision," as Izi had referred to it as. And, on a very deep psychological level, that was true - but for the most part, Tohru did not think about nor care about fashion at all.

But, according to Izi, now that she was seriously going to make her feelings known to Kyo, she had to dress to impress. Her oldest, rattiest T-shirts were stuffed into the back of her closet, and in there place went new, cleavage-baring tops and lacy undergarments. Formfitting jeans that, admittedly, made her ass look amazing but she still feared would rip open if she bent over or sat down. She even spotted fishnets in her sock drawer one day.

None of this prepared her for The Shoes, though.

Black patent leather. Four inch stiletto heels. Pointed toe. Slingback.

Her feet hurt just looking at them.

"Oh, Tohru," Izi gushed. "Aren't they just the fuckiest fuck me shoes you've ever seen?"

"Wh - what?"

"That's what they're called. Fuck me shoes," she explained. "Hey, you're looking a little green. What's wrong?"

"They... those shoes..."

"Yes? What about The Shoes?"

Tohru swallowed. She couldn't move her eyes from The Shoes, even though picturing herself in them was causing her to sweat a little. It was like a horrific car accident: didn't want to watch, couldn't look away. As naive as Tohru was, she could see why they were called "fuck me" shoes. She wondered how Kyo would react if he saw her in them, along with maybe a pair of those jeans that actually managed to make her look like she had some junk in the trunk. Kyo would take one glimpse of her and then dip her and kiss her in that old movie way.

Yeah right. He'd explode and start yelling at Izi for dressing her like a whore. They'd been there, done that, and all they'd gotten was a crappy T-shirt that was now shoved in the back of Tohru's closet with the rest of the reject clothes. As fun as that had been the first time - not including the bathroom scene afterwards that actually _was_ fun - Tohru did not feel like repeating it.

"Tohru? Are you okay?"

She started a little. "Pardon me?"

"I asked if you were okay," Izi repeated, peering at her curiously. "You were zoning out for, like, a full minute." She held up The Shoes, now with a smile gracing her lips. "Try them on."

"Um, okay," Tohru said. She took The Shoes from Izi and then stared at the, to which Izi rolled her eyes and steered Tohru towards the bed. As Tohru removed her socks at a much slower pace than necessary, Izi asked, "Any good dreams?"

"What?"

"When you were spacing out earlier," she clarified. "Any good dreams?"

Tohru feigned engrossment in putting the left Shoe on. "Oh, you know... stuff."

"What _kind_ of stuff?" Izi pressed. "Like into-turkey stuff or on-my-cat stuff?"

Blinking and pulling The Shoes on practically on autopilot by now, Tohru replied, "Something like the second one."

"And what exactly are you thinking of putting on _your_ Cat, Tohru?"

"Please don't say it like that," she groaned, letting herself fall backward onto her bed. "I... I'm just worried about how he'll react to The Shoes."

When Izi didn't reply for ten seconds, twenty seconds, thirty seconds, Tohru pushed herself up with a worried expression, only to see Izi staring at The Shoes with what could only be described as awe.

"Izi," Tohru started, "blink twice if you haven't gone catatonic."

"So... beautiful..." Izi squeaked, an admiring grin spreading across her face. "The Shoes... I'm... I'm so proud."

"Um. Of what?"

"Myself! For picking them out!" she chirped. Then she grabbed her coat and purse from where she'd flung them on Tohru's bed earlier and darted towards the door, calling over her shoulder to Tohru. "I'm gonna get myself a pair. Good luck!"

"No, wait, Izi! What do I - "  
_  
POOF!_

And the next thing Tohru knew she was lying on her back in the middle of the hallway with an orange Cat flopped on her stomach. Orange smoke hung in the air around them as she heard the front door slam.

She blinked three times, glanced at the Cat and the various articles of clothing strewn around her, then shrieked, "Kyo-kun! I am so sorry, Kyo-kun! Are you alright?!"

"Hey, no, it's cool..." He crawled off stomach and shook his small orange head.

"No, Kyo-kun, it isn't!" Tohru cried, already on her knees and collecting Kyo's clothing from the floor. She spotted an overturned laundry basket and quickly started throwing the clothes into it. "I should have watched where I was going. I'm so sorry I made you drop all your..."

She held up a pair of lacy black cups.

"... bras?"

Turning her incredibly confused eyes towards Kyo, the Cat's orange fur seemed to turn a bit darker.

"I-I can explain," he mumbled.

She gave him a _then please do_ look.

"No, okay, I wasn't trying to take your underwear or anything," he began, his Cat nose twitching in nervousness, "but I was just getting _my_ laundry and then I saw that you had yours all folded, so I thought I would, y'know, bring it to you. And-and I swear, I thought it was just shirts and jeans in that pile, I wasn't being a perv. So... yeah."

She wondered vaguely why Kyo would be so nervous. She glanced again at the Cat, then at the bra in her hand - one of her new, extra sexy ones. She contemplated laughing out loud at the whole situation. She settled for a wicked smile.

Kyo just continued staring at her with a mix of confusion, embarrassment, and nervousness.  
_  
POOF!_

* * *

**Kind of short, but I'm ending it here because I really just want to get a chapter up. So, here you go: unintentional cliffie. And like I said, Kyki- The Late Night Writer: SEND ME A PM.**

How was everyone's Halloween? It started raining here, but it was actually very refreshing and never got too bad while people were out (it started pouring the next day, though). I went trick-or-treating even though some people think anyone over ten should stop having fun on Halloween (including some of my friends' parents); my costume was a Freudian slip and if you know what that is I will be so happy, but if you don't that's okay. None of my friends understood it, even though I explained it to them like five times. My candy haul was a bit disappointing this year, but I suppose when you get to a certain age people just don't like giving you candy as much as when you're cute and little. Lily got a shitload, though, which is completely unfair (she's a shortie with an angel face, so people just naturally love her).  
  
**Anyway, I'm asking for 25 reviews again. I know it's possible. Ciao!**

Jax


	29. Rules of Seduction, Part 2

**I need teh cheering up because we just finished a whole big thing with volleyball in PE and I was the ONLY girl who would play. It just so happens that I suck at volleyball, and so my team ended up yelling "Jax! What the hell was **_**that**_**?!" a lot. I'm one of those people who will jump out of the way if the ball seems to be coming in my direction.**

But enough about my athletic incompetence. Writing is my healing process/drug of choice. Here's chapter 28, which is _**extra**_** OOC thanks to the hilarious ideas of Kyki- The Late Night Writer, our lucky 400th reviewer. This one's for you.**

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

  
Chapter 28 - Rules of Seduction, Part 2 (or, Kyo Strikes Back)

Kyo knew he was fucked when he'd crashed into her. He knew it when he'd grabbed her laundry in an effort to not behave like a caveman for once. He knew it practically when he'd woken up late that morning to Izi's squeals about new shoes. His instincts had told him it was bad mojo, but of course he hadn't listened.

Now he was paying.  
_  
POOF!_

Tohru was still kneeling on the ground, laundry basket in one hand and lacy black bra in the other – damn Izi for buying her such sexy underwear! – when he changed back. As it happened, she was at eye-level with his shins. The customary orange smoke clouded his nude form for a few seconds, long enough for Tohru's eyes to widen and Kyo grab a pair of his loose-fitting jeans off the floor. He was a bit surprised that Tohru did not shriek and cover her eyes, as was her usual reaction to a naked post-transformation Sohma. She turned her head away, but Kyo could swear he saw her smile – no, smirk– at his nakedness.

What was that supposed to mean? She'd seen him naked before, so his manhood wasn't exactly anything new to her (well what was he _supposed_ to call it?). It couldn't have been a smirk on her face, could it? Tohru didn't know _how_ to smirk. It didn't add up. Not at all. It must have been a smile.

But then she would be smiling at him without clothes. Smiles equal happiness. She was happy to see him naked?

He'd be happy to be naked with _her._

He slapped himself in the face.

"Kyo-kun!" she yelped. "Don't hit yourself!"

He looked at her, then at the bra still in her hand, contemplated smacking himself again, and then crouched down onto the floor and scooped a shirt up over his head. As he helped her clean up the laundry that _he_ had dropped, he discreetly looked her over. Her new short hair – he was still reeling from that one – looked perfect, even when slightly mussed from all the falling down and Sohma explosions; her shirt – one of the new ones from Izi – fit her just right, gliding over her chest and torso like liquid cotton and baring just enough cleavage to make him itch; her skirt – another new one – flared out around her, the rose red a shocking brightness against her pale legs and white shirt.

But the shoes...the shoes were what caught his eye. He didn't recognize them, and Tohru didn't own many heels to begin with. The heel was tall and thin – looked about four inches, at least – and absently he wondered how girls could manage to stand in those, let alone walk and _do_ stuff. They were a shiny black patent leather, and with just the sum of the parts they weren't really that special. But as a whole, they screamed sex. Kyo felt himself blush darkly as he imagined her wearing nothing but those shoes and the bra she still had in her hand.

He was very thankful for the baggy pants.

"... yo-kun? Kyo-kun?"

"Wuh – uh, yes?" he stuttered, snapping his eyes up to her face and forcing his mind out of the gutter.

Tohru half-smiled somewhat shyly. "There's no more laundry on the ground."

"Oh." What, had he just been staring at the carpet for five minutes? Like he needed to look like even more of an idiot in front of her. "I guess you're right."

"Yeah," she said, grinning now. She looked into his eyes for a second, grinned larger, and then quickly looked away. After clearing her throat, she demurely murmured, "Can you help me with something, Kyo-kun?"

He'd help her shop for tampons if that's what she wanted. He'd wear a shirt that said "I Heart Rats" if that's what she wanted. Jesus, he'd eat glass out of the palm of her hand if she asked him to. He never could say no to her anyway, and the crazy feelings he had for her only made it worse.

"Um, sure. With what?"

Instead of answering, she stood up and grabbed both his hands, pulling him up off the floor with all her household-chore-accumulated super strength. The newly-refolded laundry was left ignored in the hallway, but Kyo didn't really care. Tohru was pulling him into her room and he was wondering once again how it was possible to walk in those damn fuck me shoes (it wasn't rocket science figuring out the technical term for them). Once they were both in the room Tohru kicked the door closed; Kyo's eyes widened and for once he allowed himself to hope. The next thing he knew his back was hitting the soft mattress of Tohru's bed. His breath caught in his throat...

...as Tohru held up two dresses on hangers with a chirp of, "Black and white stripes or green geometric patterns?"

His hope was quickly kicked in the nuts, punched in the gut, and shot in the face.

He could only blink. "Wh-what?"

"Which dress do you think would look better with these shoes?" she clarified, the very picture of innocence now despite the shoes in question. "Izi just bought me them both, and I'd really like to a guy's opinion on the matter."

This startled him a little. "Why do you care what guys think of how you look?" he snapped, pushing himself off the bed.

Her face showed surprise and hurt at his tone, so in a gentler voice he added, "Y-you know you look great in anything."

Tohru carefully laid both dresses on the bed before replying, "That's kind of you to say, Kyo-kun. But I...I'm not getting any younger here, and my sense of style so far in my life has been severely lacking in, you know, quality, so I'm just kind of anxious to...um..."

"Tohru." He strode up to her with a look on his face that clearly said _Are you shitting me?_ "Where the hell is all this coming from?" he questioned. "What is going through your head right now? We haven't played Truth in I don't know how long."

She tried to smile but somehow it came out wobbly. "Kyo-kun – "

"No, don't 'Kyo-kun' me," he snapped in the softest voice he could manage. "I want to know what you're thinking. Look at me. No, look at me," he said, taking her chin in his hand and peering into her eyes with the vulnerability only she was allowed to see. "Did Izi say something to you? I could – "

"No!" she insisted, tearing her eyes from his with something that Kyo could only describe as reluctance; but he wouldn't let himself think that. "Izi has been fine, really."

"Then my question is when did the Body Snatchers pay you a visit?"

She laughed.

And it wasn't sexy and sophisticated like you might expect from her if she was a stranger passing by on the street, nor was Kyo's joke terribly funny. But Tohru went on guffawing and snorting a little bit and Kyo was mesmerized by it, just like with everything else she did.

(a/n: Yeah, I really just didn't know end that, so let's just pretend there was a resolution in there.)

* * *

The scenes in the hallway and Tohru's bedroom were only the beginning, it seemed, of the weird behavior on Tohru's part that continued for the rest of their winter break. Kyo knew that it was paranoid of him – not to mention that he'd be beyond mortified if anyone found out – but he started keeping a log of all the tantalizing things Tohru was doing around him. He hid it under his mattress, because he was sure that it was such a cliched hiding place nobody would think to look there (he didn't realize that nobody had any reason to search his room in the first place). He had an entry for each day of the week:

_Monday – Tohru, Izi, and Shigure sitting at the table, drinking tea, talking about stuff. Izi points out how Tohru's hair is still damp from when some snow fell on her head earlier. Tohru smiles and laughs when she notices, then looks __right at me_ _and says, "Snow makes me wet." Shigure giggles. I leave the room._

Tuesday – Tohru hands me my laundry in the hallway. When I get to my room and start to put the clothing in the dresser, I come across exactly _two__ lacy bras and __three__ pairs of equally lacy panties that have static-clung to my clothes. Two out of three of the panties are thongs. My nose starts to bleed. Also, thongs: __what the fuck?!  
__  
Wednesday – I knock on Tohru's half-open door to ask her if she finished our winter break homework yet. She calls for me to come in. When I enter she swivels around in her wheelie chair where she's working at her desk. Her legs are like __a foot apart__ and she's wearing a short skirt. I can feel myself reacting when I glimpse something pink under her skirt so I say, "Never mind" and run back to my room. _

_Thursday – Tohru and stupid Yuki are in the kitchen working on something for lunch (I thought we all agreed Yuki should not be near food __ever__, so what the fuck?). That damn Rat asks Tohru if he should cut the pork in small chunks. Tohru shakes her head "no" slowly, looks __right at me__ AGAIN, and says, "I like my meat thick." Yuki does not giggle. I leave the room._

Friday – Tohru cooks special end-of-break dinner, wears the locket I gave her for Christmas. Every time she talks, she plays with the locket chain and runs her fingers over her collarbone, which is exposed along with a generous helping of cleavage. I try to look at her face when she speaks to me, but I know the Rat catches me peeking at her chest because he gives me a Super Death Glare – _I am warned__. I resolve not to look anywhere but Tohru's eyes and my food for the rest of the meal. My resolution is ruined when Tohru jumps up from her seat and I see her underwear again (bright blue this time). Then, when she returns from the kitchen with a pitcher of that fruit juice Shigure asked for, she leans over the table and I get a very clear look down her shirt. I fake a loud coughing fit to cover up the whimper/moan that clogs my throat. Izi smirks at me._

Kyo could not take much more of this torture. The long days were filled with Tohru's skimpy outfits and unconscious one-liners ("I don't think it's long enough; Sorry, this is my first time; It tastes so good in my mouth." Etc.) and the even longer nights with tossing, turning, heavy breathing, and dreams that were either very, very good or very, very bad. He was actually thankful for school to be starting again, if only that it meant he had less time to watch what he couldn't have dipped in edible body paint and dangled in front of him. He was quite sure he would go crazy soon.

Then, on the Sunday before they went back to school, Izi flounced into his room and dropped on the bed a stack of magazines thick enough to break a grown man's toe.

"Can I help you?" Kyo spat, glaring at the various girly mags on his bed: _Cosmo, Elle, Vogue, Allure, Glamour, Marie Claire_, etc., all sporting covers with stick thin, scantily clad women and brightly colored headlines that said things like _Let's Talk About Real Sex!_ and _How to Get A Flat Belly in 2 Weeks!_ and _37 Ways to Get Him to Notice You! _Kyo felt slightly sick looking at them, but that could have been attributed to the mixed odors of the perfume samples each magazine was packed with.

"No," Izi replied haughtily, "but you can help yourself."

He raised his eyebrows and did his best to look disinterested, even though inside he was quite curious as to Izi's cockier-than-usual attitude and one magazine that screamed the headline _Who's Your Dream Guy? Real Women Talk!_ Stupid estrogen rag; he hadn't even opened one yet and already he was wondering if Tohru had the same definition of "dream guy" as these Real Women.

"What do you mean? What are we gonna do with the magazines?"

"_You_," Izi corrected, "are going to go through these and get the information you need. Think of it as getting in the enemy's head."

Kyo rolled his eyes. "I'd hardly consider Tohru 'the enemy.'"

She rolled her eyes back. "You know what I mean." Then she turned to leave, shocking Kyo.

"What, you aren't staying?"

Glancing at him like _Nah, dinkus_, she said, "You don't need my help reading. This is something you gotta do on your own. Your fairy godmother has already turned your pumpkin into a carriage." She smirked at him, then turned around and continued out the door. "It's up to you to get your dress, princess."

He flipped her off, but she was already gone.

After at least three hours of the most lethal reading he'd ever experienced, Kyo wanted his brain to explode just so he'd be put out of his misery. There seemed to be a theme with most of the magazines: average women were ugly, beautiful women were average, alien-looking women were beautiful, and all of them could look better. Nearly every page boasted some remedy for cellulite, wrinkles, body fat, singleness, and unfullfilling sex lives. Men who wouldn't commit were the enemy; calorie-free, real food substitutes were the ally. If you were skinny, you could always be skinnier. And if you didn't have good hair, you _must_ spend money to fix it.

Kyo couldn't figure out why women actually _bought_ these rags, as the main focus seemed to be to make them feel worse, not better. No matter how pretty, how interesting, how thin, how tastefully accessorized a woman was, there would always be another woman that was better. Which Kyo supposed was true anyway, and it applied to men too, but that didn't mean he wanted to pay money for a couple hundred glossy papers selling him useless shit and telling him how worthless he was (he was a Sohma after all, so he got the latter for free).

All in all, the only thing he learned from the whole mind-numbing ordeal was how glad he was that Tohru wasn't shallow enough to buy into this crap. The fact that she was so smart and well-balanced made if – if possible – even sexier to him. Emotionally sexy, which he had previously not been aware was an actual thing. That was how special she was.

He was _not even_ going to wonder if that had been Izi's goal. It probably was, but he desperately needed to rest. His poor man-brain hurt too much from trying to figure out the devious creature that was Woman.

* * *

School began again rather uneventfully. Mayuko and Izi fell back into lessons, Yuki into his student council stuff, and Tohru into her every day Tohru-ness. The daily household chaos became mundane once again, and Kyo was grateful for the lack of unpredictability that had seeped back into their lives. Tedious bedlam was so comfortable after Christmas From Hell, it's cousin New Year's, and the That's What She Said-fest that made up the rest of break.

He should have known it wouldn't last.

Well, it sort of did, for about a month. It was February seventh now, exactly one week until the Worst Holiday Ever, aka Give Lots of Money to Hallmark Day, aka Show Off Your Domestic Happiness to the Poor Single Slobs Day, aka Not a Good Time to Dump Someone Through a Text Day.

Valentine's Day, to be exact.

And Kyo was scared.

One, because there was the constant looming threat of Kagura showing up and mauling him - he figured, since she'd been so absent this past year, this Valentine's Day would put him in the hospital. Two, because it was his first Valentine's Day that he actually wanted to spend with someone (it didn't help that it was the one person he couldn't ever be with). And three, because _it_ was starting again.

"My boss has been really riding me lately."

That's.

"Ow! That was too hard."

What.

"No, I can do it standing up."

She.

"I wouldn't just blow you off like that."

Said.__

Kyo didn't know where she was getting these. But it seemed like every other thing coming out of her mouth (that's what she said) was an innuendo. He wanted to believe Tohru had no idea she was doing it (that's what she said), but he'd remember the very deliberate ways she'd look at him over break before saying these things, and then he wasn't so sure.

Of course, Tohru didn't say these things when she was called on in class or talking with students she didn't know – _that_ would have really scared Kyo. But around him, Uotani and Hanajima, and all the Sohmas that attended the school, Tohru became the "she" in "that's what she said."

Uotani and Hatsuharu, who were both well versed in the fine art of sex jokes, would grin and say, "That's what she said!" for the first day or so. But after the sex jokes started showing up in every conversation (that Kyo was present for, at least), they became bored and started to ignore the innuendo. Sometimes laughter would break into their group chats, but on the whole the insinuations were not acknowledged by anyone other than Kyo.

Ah, Kyo: he feared his face would be permanently stained red after all the blushing he was doing these days. To hear Tohru say such unintentionally sexy things was driving him _crazy_. Even more so after everyone else stopped reacting. The obvious answer to his problems was staring him in the face, but he was being stubborn. However, time was running out and he could kill two birds with one stone if he'd just suck up his pride and ask, so...

"Izi."

It was after class, February seventh, and Kyo needed advice from the communal Sohma fairy godmother. But as she looked up from the papers in front of her with a killer smirk and scheming eyes, he felt a bit sick.

"Yeah?"

Kyo glanced quickly at Mayuko, who was sitting at her desk and grading their latest homework assignment, then motioned for Izi to meet him out in the hallway. She rolled her eyes at him but followed.

"I repeat: yeah?" Izi cawed with her hands on her hips.

Squirming slightly, Kyo looked over both shoulders to make sure nobody was listening. After he repeated the gesture – twice – Izi smacked his shoulder and demanded he tell her what he wanted, claiming she "had shit to do."

"I need your help," he muttered.

"With?"

"With... stuff."

"Kyo, if you're going to be like this then I'm not gonna help – "

"Okay, okay!" He sighed a heavy nobody-gets-me sigh. "It's about Tohru –"

"Thanks, I'd guessed that."

" – and the things she's been saying," he finished, glaring at her for interrupting. Then his face turned back to pathetic, reaching out to Izi and pleading that she knew what he was talking about.

No luck, though: she just raised an eyebrow in confusion. "By which you mean...?"

"Oh, God," he groaned. "Don't tell me _you_ haven't noticed it either!"

"Noticed...?"

"Fuck," he grumbled. His fingers went to his hair and he pulled in frustration. He gave a small scream. He turned and kicked a locker loudly. Izi watched in alarm. Then, he just stopped, stood up straight, and turned back to face Izi with a shockingly calm expression. In an equally composed voice, he said, "This past week, and the week before winter break ended, every other sentence she says is a 'that's what she said' joke."

When he paused, he gave her look like _Need I say more?_ Apparently he did have to say more, though, because Izi cleared her throat in a paltry cover up for her laugh.

"Do you have any..." She snickered, then took a deep breath. "..._Ahem_, examples?"

"How can you not have heard her?!" he demanded. "Every. Fucking. Sentence. I swear to God! I _swear_!"

"Kyo," she laughed, "maybe it isn't Tohru's dirty mouth. Maybe it's _your_ perverted ears." At Kyo's incredulous expression, she laughed again and said, "I'm serious. Give me some examples, and I'll be the judge of if it's sexy or not."

He glared at her. "Fine." And so began part two.

_Fifth period, yesterday – Group project in history, Tohru and Uotani agree for the group we'll study Australia. Tohru blinks several times, glances at me, and says, "I wonder what it's like, being down under?"_

Lockers, yesterday – Tohru looks up and sees some girl's jacket. She smiles and says, "Ooh, I love her thing!"  
  
_Lockers, this morning – Haru and Momiji talking about the running test they have to do in PE this week. Haru brags that it will be too easy, he could run from dawn until dusk (his actual words). Tohru grins and says, "Do you think you could really go all day long?"_

Third period, today – Starting our still-life unit in art class. Sensei puts a bowl of fruit on each table, of apples, grapes, bananas

"Okay, okay, _okay_," Izi cut in, "don't go on about the bananas, I get the idea."

"Do you _see_?!"

"Kyo," she started in a tone he knew would grow to be condescending very soon. "Let me just start off by saying, words mean nothing."

He blinked. "I - "

"Don't interrupt, sweetie. Words mean nothing – it's the emotion and the intent _behind_ those words that make a difference. For example..." She pasted on a big happy I-love-everyone! grin, then chirped, "I hate your filthy guts!" in such a bubbly tone Kyo thought he misheard her at first.

"I...I don't..."

The grin dropped. "You wanna know what happy thoughts were going through my head just then? 'I love rainbows and unicorns and pixie dust and kittens.' Words are meaningless without tone, inflection, intent, body language, et cetra."

"As interesting as all that is," Kyo said, "what the hell does it have to do with anything?"

She rolled her eyes at his impatience. "My point, smart ass, is that how do you know Tohru is implying anything remotely sexual with these comments? You know how naive she is."

Kyo wanted to agree with this, but a part of him was reminded him of all those little Looks she kept giving him. Her eyes said she was anything but naive. In fact, if Kyo let himself fantasize freely without wanting to maim himself, and if he linked what she had been saying to those Looks, her eyes told him very detailed stories of the many disgusting things she would do with/to him were there no witnesses.

But Kyo couldn't tell Izi that. He could barely tell _himself_ that.

So instead, he countered with, "How do you know she _isn't_ implying anything sexual?" and thought, _Wow. Where'd these balls come from?_

Izi laughed as if she could hear his thoughts. "Wow. Where'd those balls from?"

"Fuck you."

"Sorry, you're not my type."

Glare-fest.

As Izi had eight years more experience on Kyo, he was the first to look away. Izi: 1. Kyo: zip.

But her fairy godmother genes seemed to be kicking in again, because she smiled a benevolent, vaguely intimidating smile and lightly touched Kyo's shoulder. "On the other hand, sweetie, her intent _could_ be to freak the bejeezus out of you, and flirting so much is a surefire way when, y'know, she's _her_ and you're _you_."

He stared at her.

"Wait, that came out wrong, didn't it? Not 'freak the bejeezus out of you.' Maybe..." She pursed her lips and let a pregnant pause take the air.

With obvious impatience, Kyo prompted, "Maybe _what_?"

"Maaaay-beeee," she continued, stretching the word out much more than necessary, further pissing Kyo off. "Maybe she's flirting with you because she's _interested_ in you."

Rather than be elated at this, Kyo felt as if something sharp was being shoved into his chest. He couldn't let himself entertain the possibility that Tohru felt for him even a fraction of what he felt for her. No - the truth would hurt even more if he dared get his hopes up.

Lowering his eyes, he surprised himself and Izi by saying in a low, even voice, "I'm not...trying to be pessimistic here. But if I let myself think that – "

"You'll what?" Izi demanded, suddenly angry. "You'll find yourself feeling human emotions for once? You'll be vulnerable? Well here's the deal, Kyo: if you want to grow at all as a human being, if you want to live your life in any satisfying way, you're gonna have to put your head on the line sometimes. You can't hide from it. You just can't."

The only response he could think to summon was a half-hearted smile and a few mumbled words: "Sucks, doesn't it?"

She didn't smile back. "Kyo, you need to stop doubting yourself and just jump into this head first. If you think she'd flirting with you, then _flirt back_. Don't disappear inside yourself because of our fucked-up family."

"But what if she _isn't_ flirting with me? I'll look ridiculous."

"Kyo." She sighed heavily, her mouth twisting in an embarrassed way. "I lied before. I know she's been saying all the unintentional 'that's what she said' jokes. And trust me - _she's been flirting with you._ Like, majorly. Like, you'd have to be blind and deaf not to realize it. I'm thinking you should get your eyes and ears checked, actually."

He was shocked. And kinda outraged. And a tiny bit murderous. Incredulously, he said, "Wait, so that whole bit before was all you messing with me? You made me list off all those sex joke moments like a stalker just 'cause you were bored? What the fuck?"

"Oh, Kyo, it wasn't because I was bored," she explained tiredly. "Don't flatter yourself. It just so happens I have...an _arrangement_ with someone, and it was crucial that I pretended you were losing your shit about the Tohru thing. And _no_, I can't tell you who I have this _arrangement_ with, so don't bother asking," she added when he opened his mouth to interrupt her again. "In fact, I'm breaking several deals right now just telling you about it. But you were so pathetic back there that I just couldn't stand by and watch you suffer any longer."

She put both hands on his shoulders, surprising him.

"The next time she says something 'that's what she said'-worthy, respond with something just as dirty. And you can't look back once you start doing this thing."

In the midst of the new-found – if not shaky – drive he was feeling about going after Tohru, mixed with the annoyance that Izi had been tricking him and the gratitude that Izi was helping him, added to the lingering depression from the supposed hopelessness of the entire situation, Kyo cracked a lewd smile.

"That's what she said."

* * *

And so, with new determination fresh in his mind and _almost_ no butterflies in his stomach, he set off for home. Snow was still on the ground and the air was cold in a dry, cutting way, but Kyo barely noticed any of it as he practically ran to Shigure's house. He was trying to think of suitable comebacks for whatever Tohru might say when he got home, but everything he came up sounded like lines from a cheesy porno (not that he knew what cheesy porno sounded and/or looked like). Still trying to be optimistic, though, he managed to convince himself it would probably be a spur-of-the-moment-type dealie.

However, his cynicism was showing: a voice in his head told him there was a very good chance he was end up gaping at her like a red-faced fish the next time she declared something was "hard." Well, considering his track record, it wasn't exactly _un_likely, but still...

Upon crossing the threshold and removing his shoes, Kyo called out to see if anyone was home. He knew Yuki had Student Council shit today, since there was that stupid boring announcement during homeroom, and Shigure had said something at breakfast about meeting his editor for a late lunch – God knew what _that_ was code for – but he had to know if Tohru was there, or worse: if they had _guests_ over.

Not that he didn't like being alone in the house with Tohru, but at this moment he was starting to greatly fear confronting her with a dirty retort. He was now onto hoping he wouldn't get a chance to hear her say anything worthy of a dirty retort at all.

"Kyo-kun? Is that you?"

Shit.

"Um, yeah. Where are you?" he called to her, his eyes squeezed shut and his hand scratching the back of his head.

"Living room!" she called back cheerfully, blissfully unaware of the thunderous beating of Kyo's poor nervous heart. He was surprised she couldn't hear it _thump thump thump_ing from where she stood, several rooms over.

He trudged to the living room, frantically going over the cheesy-porno responses he'd though of earlier. He figured something was better than nothing, even if _something_ would probably make Tohru slap him.

Entering the living room, his thought was another very eloquent '_Shit'_: Tohru was standing on a stool, still wearing her short short short uniform skirt, hanging a picture and giving Kyo a very clear view of her ass.

Kyo felt a strong sense of déjà vu, except for the part where _Tohru was wearing a thong_.

Holy...

Fuck Izi.

But _seriously_...what the fuck? It was a _good_ WTF? moment – Kyo had nothing against Tohru's ass (that's what she said) – but still very, very confusing. Tohru and thongs did not work together in the same sentence. In the same universe. It was like a snake wearing mittens, or a fish riding a bicycle. It shouldn't be.

And yet it was.

And Kyo liked it.

He could have easily stood there forever, gazing at Tohru's lovely behind, but his lady love chose that exact moment to glance over her shoulder and see him. She smiled cheerfully, and Kyo instantly felt guilty for ogling her. She stepped down from her stool, thankfully making it impossible for Kyo to see up her skirt unless he dropped to the floor at her feet. But since being in love hadn't destroyed _all_ his sanity (yet), he flicked his eyes up to hers.

"Kyo-kun," she said, still cheerful but with an underlying tone of who-knows-what (Kyo had an inkling of _what_, though). He tried to think what innuendos she might be able to come up with now – they were just kind of standing in the living room, so he figured maybe he'd have more time. "What do you think of the picture?"

"Hmm?" he asked eloquently. "What picture?"

"The...one I was hanging just now?" she prompted. Turning around to the wall she'd been facing earlier, she said, "I wanted to put it higher, but even I'm the stool I'm too short." She giggled.

Without barely thinking, Kyo said, "I can hang it higher."

"Oh, could you Kyo-kun? Thank you!"

She stepped out of the way for him to step onto the stool. As he got up, he finally noticed what the picture was: a family portrait. But it wasn't a bunch of Sohmas gathered in their Sunday best against a tacky blue background or anything planned at all. It was in black and white, in Shigure's kitchen, featuring the Dog, Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru. Shigure was at the refrigerator, looking in with a mildly bored expression; Yuki stood near the sink, a potato peeler in one hand and a confused look quirking his eyebrow up; Kyo was off the to side with his hand covering most of his mouth, hiding one of the rare smiles he let anyone but you-know-who see; and Tohru was at the center of it, her profile grinning at her adoptive family. She wasn't wearing any makeup and her hair – cut short, so the picture must have been taken recently – was slightly mussed, matching the level of cosmetic preparation of the three men behind her (which is to say, none). She looked so natural, as did everyone else. It was a snapshot out of their daily lives, and it made a spot of heart-shattering sadness form in Kyo's stomach – as if, even unconsciously, he knew that scenes like this would being coming to an end not too far in the future.

"Kyo-kun?" he heard Tohru say softly, none of the pep or concealed who-knows in her voice anymore. "Are you alright?"

"Um." He cleared his throat and gave her quick false smile. "Yeah, yeah, my stomach just feels a little funky," he half-lied. Gripping the picture more firmly, he lifted it up and asked her if that was high enough. When she said it was, he was handed a small nail and hanger thingy – whatever that was called. He put the picture up and stepped off the stool, asking Tohru if it looked alright.

She stared at it for a long minute, a small, suspicious smile growing on her face that Kyo certainly did not feel comfortable with. She brought one hand up to her mouth and bit slightly on one long fingernail. After an excruciating period of silence, she moved her gaze from the picture to Kyo.

"I don't know," she declared in a low, seductive voice that made Kyo itch way down in his toes. "Can you make it straighter?"

Before this moment, Kyo had not been aware that if he wanted to badly enough, he could make himself stop blushing. He discovered that if he put his mind to it and thought the unsexiest thoughts possible, his blush was shrivel up and die a horrible, painful death. So, while time slowed down and his brain worked at super speed, he reminded himself of Izi's advice: _respond with something just as dirty_. So he shooed away the cheesy porno responses and forced himself to think unsexy thoughts, those of which included (but were not limited to) Akito's face; Yuki's freakishly smooth and pale little girl legs; Kazuma-san naked; and Shigure's gorier, more graphic stories. (Other gems involved a hungover Izi with no makeup and Kagura's underwear/attempts at seduction.)

He took a long time just letting the growing smirk consume the whole lower half of his face, his response forming in his head. Tohru looked on expectantly – maybe she was surprised at his lack of blush, maybe even anticipating him to run away or something. Either way, she clearly was not expecting what he _did_ do.

"Can you help me?"

* * *

**It should be illegal how much fun I had writing this chapter. Really. Um, especially considering how ridiculously late this update it. I be mucho lame. And most of the credit for this chapter should go to Kiki- The Late Night Writer for her pants-pissing hysterical ideas. **

**On that note, have any of you realized how easy it is to make That's What She Said jokes at a Christmas tree lot? Everybody is saying stuff like "That one is huge!" and "I like the size of this one." But there were a lot of small children running around so I felt I shouldn't say anything – let them keep their innocence at least slightly longer than I did (I am exaggerating, but not by much). (Also, that's what she said.)**

Happy holidays to all. Go enjoy your families and watch _**A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All**_**, even if you don't celebrate it. It's fucking art, I promise you. Also, there probably won't be another update from me anytime soon, sorry if that's a disappointment to you...**

Jax


	30. St Valentine's Day

**I do believe I hold the title of Worst Updater Ever. I'd just like to thank all the little people...Yeah, my apologies.** **I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday. I myself celebrate Christmakah, a mix of Christmas and Hanukkah/Chanukah/Hannnnnakuu (goddamn it I can never correctly spell Hanukkah...). I've also been quite busy, what with my new fixation with Inuyasha (fuck Anna, who has been my gateway drug for this, Twilight, Ranma, etc.); possibly I am working on a very long, very angsty Inu AU** **that I've been scrawling down bits and pieces of for like a month. So if something like that pops up, don't be scared and/or pissed that I'm not updating **_**Ties of Love and Friendship**_**. There's actually only about...I don't know, maybe five chapters left to **_**Ties**_**, IF I can get my shit together and write the ending (oh, I can't bear it!).**

Has anyone noticed how much I said "fuck" in past chapters? I was rereading parts of _**Ties**_** today and I was kind of...taken aback by the amount of F-bombs I was dropping. So, I might be toning it down in this chapter, but **_**maybe**_** don't get your hopes up. Er, and spoiler alert if you haven't read volume 12. **_**But you should have...**_****

Here's chapter 29.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Although I do own _**Forbidden Desire at Midnight**_**, which I'm sorry to say is not an actual romance novel.**

* * *

Chapter 29 – St. Valentine's Day

Taking a deep breath, then another, Isuzu put her mask her place, the one that screamed don't-mess-with-me to anyone stupid enough to try and approach her. Not that she was ever surprised when they did – she knew that she had a face to launch a thousand ships, and a body to match. Her looks had been there all her life, and by this point she barely even noticed when the heads of unsuspecting men turned to watch her walk – as they did now.  
**  
**Isuzu happened to be on something of a quest. She needed information and she was not going to go home – well, to Kagura's house – without it. But when she'd first formed this plan, she was too blinded by her determination to think it through all the way. Only now, when she was already halfway to where her information source lay, did she realize that there were many, many things that could go wrong with her plan. The what-if situations ran through her mind, each one seeming scarier than the last. The atrocious worst case scenarios now invading her thoughts were almost enough to ruin her mask, but she realized before it was too late that she was slipping and quickly slapped her beautiful snarl back into place – this one with extra bite, just in case.

She reminded herself that she was aware of at least _some_ of the risks when she's first started on this whole thing – way back at the very beginning, when she was put in the hospital and broke Haru's heart. She couldn't back out now. She couldn't rest until she'd fulfilled her promise to herself. When she was done, and everything was put back together, then she could relax and laugh away her worries.

Silently, she prayed that day was coming sooner rather than later.

A car horn honked as an SUV drove past her. Some men – boys, really, probably younger than her – leaned out the windows and called out to her.

"Hey baby, wanna go for a ride?"  
**  
**"Fuck you!" she screamed in reply, giving them her fiercest glare and flipping both middle fingers at them. Apparently her aura was more terrifying then she'd realized, because the boys widened their eyes and ducked back into their obnoxious SUV.  
_  
Cowards_, she thought. But through her anger at being harassed by such children, her sadness started to show. If _he _had been with her, those brats would having more to fear than just a high heel to the groin, which was really the most she could do to them in this form. The SUV boys would be chased down and beaten to a pulp, but Isuzu would have intervened before anything court-worthy could happen. She knew how to calm the big lug down; she was one of the only people who could. That used to make her feel special, but now it didn't do anything besides make her sad.

Well, she'd said it before: she knew of the risks. She'd known that it would hurt, but it had to be done. It was for his own good, after all. When everything was solved...then they could be happy together. But not yet.

By now, she was already in the woods, away from the more toxic of city smells and noises. Away from most leering eyes and cowardly little boys. Not all, of course, because it was a crazy world they lived in – especially for a Sohma – but most. She still had no idea what awaited her at her destination, but she was feeling a tiny bit better after reminding herself that the good was yet to come. Her memories of _him_ helped a little, as an incentive for pushing on during times like these when she knew how easy it would be to give up.

But...she couldn't. Not when there were still answers out there, waiting to be found. And goddamn it, she would find them.

Stumbling slightly over a rock, she did not notice right away that she had reached her destination. However, when she looked up from her swearing and stubbed toe, she felt ill. Her stomach jumped into her chest, up to her throat, and her face started feeling clammy. Was she getting sick again? She couldn't afford to waste more time in the hospital...She swallowed the bile in her throat and convinced herself it was just nerves.

Although she was not so sure of that when she lurched forward in a bout of dizziness and her vision turned black for a brief second. Bracing herself against a tree, she counted to ten and took long, deep breaths. Now was not the time for this, she told herself. She was here for a reason, but she wouldn't be able to do anything if she couldn't get her shit together.

One last breath. She opened her eyes and glared at the tree, trying to get herself in a mean mood. It didn't work, but at least she looked the part.

With her chin high and her eyes cold, she marched up to the threshold of Shigure's house.

* * *

Meanwhile, another member of the Zodiac was having her own epiphany. A certain Boar scrunched her face cutely and twirled a lock of hair around her finger. Like Isuzu, Kagura was aware of her good looks, but, she knew, unlike Isuzu she was not beautiful. She had never been beautiful and she never would be. She was "cute." She was "sweet." Her baby face had gotten her all the cooing attention she'd wanted as a child, and for a while she hadn't minded when the girls in her class became women while she was still a girl. She knew she looked younger than she was, but that was okay. Her beloved was younger than her, after all, by two years. And he didn't want some old women on his arm.

So she took cute and was almost content with it.

But then her teen years hit and she, like any other young woman, wanted to be sexy. She wanted her beloved to _want_ her – maybe that would heal her guilt faster. Ah, the guilt: at running away, at betraying his trust, at all the scuzzy feelings from that day so long ago (incidentally, during a time in her life when she was praised for being cute). She thought that maybe if she was sexy and desirable to her beloved, it would be easier for him to love her and she'd feel better.

The horrid birthday incident had struck not too long after these feelings arose. That _woman_ – how Kagura envied her voluptuous figure and sultry ways; there was no doubt that _she_ was sexy – that woman had seen right through her extra efforts to appeal to Kyo in more adult ways. Looking back, she guessed she understood a bit of that woman's objections – her beloved _was_, admittedly, only thirteen at the time, but he was going on thirty and anyway, what did age matter when love was involved? Nothing, that's what. Besides, a decade from then when they'd both be in their twenties, would two years make any difference?

No, it would not.

But when she'd tried to reason with the horrible vixen, she'd only gotten garbled logic thrown back in her face. Then, of course, she'd had to resort to hitting that woman where it would hurt – the shrew was jealous, of course – and unleashed a big ol' can of whup ass. But as the argument had escalated and that woman's violent nature took over (perhaps a bit of Kagura's own violent nature pitched in), she knew that all the vile things that had been said about her beloved and (_gulp_) guilt were true. And that had hurt much more than the broken nose. Even more than the humiliation of falling into her cake.

Of course, she'd nursed her wounds afterward – both physically and emotionally – and managed to convince herself once again that her feelings for her beloved were _of course_ true. Just because a certain woman (_ahem_) was jealous of the love Kagura and Kyo shared, being loveless herself, didn't mean the love was fake. Yes, she'd nodded, just meddling shrews trying to shake her.

But the fear would still creep up on her, making her "cute" smile sag a bit with the guilty feelings that hit her system. Add that to her cute-but-not-sexy inhibitions and she'd find herself a nervous wreck some nights. She never let anyone see her like that, of course, but every time her beloved rejected her one hundred percent sincere – not to mention practically irresistible – advances and she was forced to teach him a lesson, she had a tiny inkling fear that she would be revealed for the mess she really was.

Then, out of the blue one day, when she'd been visiting Kazuma's in the hopes of some training/quality time with her beloved, lo and behold the dojo was completely empty. She was beyond shocked and – after breaking down a door (she'd fixed it later) and searching the whole place for clues – she'd politely asked a neighbor taking his trash out where Kazuma and her beloved had gone.

The man had looked terrified and she's struggled not to roll her eyes – wasn't he often lifted off the ground and shoved against a tree by a cute teenage girl half his size? Obviously he wasn't very closely associated with the Sohma family, despite living next to the training hall of several. But after a little interrogation on Kagura's part, the man had choked out that he remembered Kazuma asking him to please water the flowers in front as he and his "son" would be one a trip for an undecided period of time. At this, she had relaxed. Kazuma was probably visiting friends or something and hadn't trusted Kyo alone in the dojo. They'd most likely be back before the week was up.

But after four long months of stewing in frustration without _a single phone call _from her beloved, Kagura was beginning lose her patience. Gazing longingly at pictures of her beloved every day, she wasn't likely to forget what he looked like – well, that was what had happened in her favorite romance novel, _Forbidden Desire at Midnight_, and _they_ had had a happy ending after separation – but still, she missed popping in and showing him her love. Horrible images of flirtatious women throwing themselves at him, wherever he was, flooded her mind daily and she often found herself snapping at her parents and classmates for no reason.

And _then_, after he'd returned from his trip, her beloved didn't even _call_ her to tell her he was back. There was no touching reunion scene, no sniffled I-love-you's, no long, tight hug to show how much he had missed her. She was almost too devastated to bully the information out of Shigure where Kyo was – almost. But Shigure, the kind soul that he was, had chuckled over the phone and calmly told her that Kyo was now staying at his house.

What she had not seen coming was the other girl. When she'd shown up on Shigure's doorstep, tears in her eyes and her hands folded cutely under her chin, who would answer the door but some strange new girl with big blue eyes and a clearly naive smile? After a reunion scene almost as touching as she'd imagined, introductions were made and she made sure this _Tohru Honda_ knew her place – Kyo was taken. But after seeing _this_ was her competition, she figured she had nothing to fear. The new girl was almost as cute as herself, except somehow plainer. She would never be Kyo's type.

Another thing she hadn't seen coming: this new girl actually _believed_ her when Kagura said she wanted to be friends. She hadn't meant it, of course, it was only supposed to be a subtle threat. But this girl apparently wasn't interested in Kyo at all, and really did want to be friends with everyone. In private, Kagura had rolled her eyes and wondered what color the sky was in Tohru's world.

Probably rainbow.

Over time, however, she stopped pitying Tohru and started feeling jealous of her. She'd long since conceded with the fact that her beloved was not satisfied with "cute" women, yet every time she went over to Shigure's house he was always _looking_ at Tohru with what she could only describe as affection. Surely, she'd reasoned halfheartedly with herself, it was only _brotherly_ affection, or he felt sorry for her and her naivete. Seeing the softness in her beloved's eyes when Tohru was in his line of sight made Kagura's heart sting – which was why, when she'd finally gotten Kyo to agree on a Valentine's Day date, she'd quickly pawned Tohru off on Yuki. They made a nice pair, she'd reasoned, just like she and Kyo did. Adorable, if they ever decided to double.

More time passed, and her jealously of Tohru grew uglier, into a horrible green monster. She started seeing the same look that Kyo got in Tohru's eyes. Directed at _her_ beloved. She couldn't believe the gall of this outsider – this random girl who, like herself was not beautiful, but, unlike herself, was barely even "cute." She couldn't see what Kyo liked about her so much – but whenever she allowed herself this thought she quickly backtracked, telling herself he _wasn't_ interested in Tohru, not at all, she was being ridiculous. At this point, though, it was getting hard to believe the self-spun lies.

And then the worst thing that could possibly happen..._happened_. Kazuma came back. Removed Kyo's beads. The Cat monster was revealed to Tohru and Kagura had had to witness that fucking _angel_ do what she could never do: accept Kyo. She ran after him when all Kagura wanted to do was run away screaming – _again_. And that's when she knew that she would never, ever stand a chance against Tohru when it came to Kyo, because she could never, ever be the good person that Tohru was.

Yes, Tohru was "cute." But she was also kind – something Kagura had never been.

Later, she realized that Tohru's kindness was what _made_ her so beautiful to Kyo, the reason why he loved her. Because Tohru had that kindness that wrapped around her whole body and turned that little caterpillar into a butterfly to rival even Isuzu. There was no way Kagura could compete with that.

So this year, Kagura wasn't going to insist Kyo take her out for Valentine's Day. Her favorite holiday was a week away, but this year she wouldn't pop up at the school gate and wait for him to come out. She wouldn't shove chocolates his way and beat him up until he finally devoured it out of frustration.

Still twirling that lock of hair around her finger, she smirked not-so-cutely at the window display of beautiful chocolate sculptures and heart-shaped boxes. She mentally went over the money in her wallet – orange and cat-shaped, of course – and decided that it all must be hers.

Five minutes later, she sprinted from the cute, now empty window display with all the desserts in her arms. A crazed look sparked in her eye as she calculated how long it would take to run to Shigure's house from there.

This year, she wasn't bombarding Kyo on Valentine's Day. She planned her attack for the week beforehand.

Today.

* * *

Although Tohru would never allow herself to say such a word, she knew that it was really the only one appropriate for the situation she was in.

_Shit_.

It had finally happened. Kyo had stopped his blushing at her embarrassing comments and said something back. And now here she was, red in the face and gaping at him for doing exactly what she was supposed to want from him.

"What if he isn't affected by the comments?" she'd asked back during winter break when Izi had first told her of the new plan. "What if he just looks at me like I'm crazy?"

Izi had rolled her eyes. "Tohru, sweet, _trust me_. He'll be hot and bothered putty in your hands."

"But how do you know that?" Tohru had whisper-shrieked, anxiety lacing her voices and lining her features.

"Because I know guys," came Izi's haughty reply. "And most guys – "

"But Kyo-kun isn't _'most guys.'_" And she had been right: Most Guys didn't turn into cats when girls hugged them. Although that really hadn't been her point...

Izi hadn't taken offense at her tone, though. If anything, she seemed to respect it, along with the words that came with it. She'd smirked appreciatively at Tohru before biting out several laughs.

"But he is _a_ guy."

This much was more than true. Tohru had taken a special interest lately in watching his reactions to her comments. Every time, without fail, his faced glowed bright red and she could swear he glanced quickly at his lap, as if to check something. This, she didn't understand, but somehow she knew she didn't want to. Either way, it was obvious he was affected by the things she was saying, and most definitely in a good way.

Another thing she didn't quite understand was when Uotani and Hatsuharu would smirk and say, "That's what she said." Of course she said it – that much was clear, because she'd opened her mouth and words had come out. But when she'd asked Izi about it, all she'd gotten in response was a half-hidden grin and a hand waved in her face.

"As in 'that's what she said last night,'" Izi had clarified. Tohru still hadn't understood, though, so Izi went further. "As in 'while in the bedroom'?" Nope. "As in 'during sexual intercourse'?"

Oh.

You'd think she would have gotten that a lot earlier.

So, although, Tohru was immensely mortified knowing what she was saying at last, she kept saying it. She even started finding Kyo's reactions amusing and...oh, she didn't want to say it, but _sexy_. She was loving the fact that she had such control over him, but something about that pleasure was lacking. However, the minute his response finally sunk in, she realized what she had been missing.

She wanted Kyo to play with her.

And now that he was, she didn't know what to do.

_"Can you help me?"  
_  
His response hung in the air, making it too thick for Tohru to breathe. She could feel her face flushing and wondered if Kyo found it as amusing as she'd always found his blushing. Probably not, since she felt much more strongly for him then he felt for her (so she assumed), but a girl could dream, right? Besides, by this point she was actually aware that while Kyo may not love her – _yet_ – he was at least a little attracted to her. And physical want was part of the whole thing, wasn't it?

But she knew she was bullshitting herself at least a bit. She was trying to convince herself that she's be satisfied being with Kyo if all he wanted from her was her body, when in reality she knew she wouldn't be able to bear being that close to him without being even closer. It would hurt too much to be only a "friend with benefits" or "fuck buddy" (hanging with Izi taught her more than a few phrases she hadn't really wanted to learn).  
_  
"Can you help me?"_

Damn him. While she was partly thrilled that he was finally playing along, she was also beyond confused and _irritated_. Was this just meaningless flirting? An invitation? Or maybe he'd wanted to shut her up, he was sick of her weird comments, he just wanted her to leave him alone and stop harassing him. Oh God, she wouldn't be able to even _look_ at him anymore if it was the last one. She wondered idly if she'd have move out of the house to avoid having to bump into on the way to the bathroom and such.

Incidentally, was it possible to actually die, as in keel over dead, from embarrassment? She vaguely remembered reading something that said it was not scientifically achievable. However, she had a feeling she would defy science that day.  
_  
"Can you help me?"_

Why oh _why_ had she goaded at him with the can-you-make-it-straighter spiel? She only half-knew what it meant anyway (when Izi had recommended it she'd tried explaining, but Tohru had politely refused). Apparently Kyo knew full the double meaning, though, if his smug look said anything. And the things that it said...But that train of thought was not going anywhere clean, so Tohru quickly sidetracked to rainbows and sparkles and unicorns and kittens.

Especially kittens...  
_  
No_.

It felt like hours had passed since Kyo had replied. Tohru glanced at the wall clock and saw that, in fact, about forty-five seconds had tick-tocked away. Compared to hours, it was no time at all, but it was still a long time in a normal conversation to go without speaking. She wondered if Kyo thought she was stalling or something.

In a vague, detached part of her mind she mused on how long they could actually go without speaking to each other, while also noticing that Kyo's face – although still looking quite smug – was slowly turning pink. She hoped that was a good sign, seeing as how her own face was flaming red.

A knock on the door sounded, interrupting their silence.

Tohru tried not to look too relieved, but as she squeaked out, "I'll get it!" and scurried away towards the front door, she thanked whatever angel had chosen that exact moment to intervene. She wasn't religious, but that had to prove that _some_ sort of god had felt sorry for her. Or maybe it was good karma. Either way, she was never so happy as when she threw open the front door and saw Isuzu's face.

Isuzu's...

Wait, what?

To say she was shocked seeing the Horse's gorgeous mug frowning down at her from on top of those shit-stomping high-heeled boots of hers was an understatement. The last time Tohru had seen Isuzu was the last day before summer ended, when she caught her and Izi in a heated argument about...something. She hadn't really understood what at the time, but she thought it had something to do with Isuzu breaking up with a guy – that's what it had sounded like when she was eavesdropping.

The only full sentence she had caught from Isuzu was the one that had hurt the most. Even thinking about it now, it felt like each word was sticking pieces of glass into her heart.  
_  
"And I think you should stop. That girl...She's just going to end up crushed. You know Kyo is going into confinement the minute he graduates high school."_

Her reaction, after Izi had sadly explained that what Isuzu said was true, had been a little extreme. But at the time, she couldn't control her body when it began shaking with violent sobs. She couldn't do a thing when her legs gave out and she fell to the floor. She had been aware of the others and their fear for her well being, but as her vision went black she could only think of the man she loved and his future confinement.

Seeing Isuzu again not only brought on a rush of the helpless feelings from that night, but also burning stings of jealously. Isuzu Sohma – Rin, as Izi had called her, the Horse – was by every definition stunning. With her silky black hair that cascaded practically to her knees and framed her porcelain face, with her model good looks and spectacular body, with her bewitching dark eyes that bored into Tohru's, then and now...Tohru felt like a roach standing next to a butterfly.

She knew she was staring now. Isuzu probably got enough of that as it was, and didn't need some ordinary little girl gaping at her beauty. Tohru was ashamed to admit that, based solely on her looks, she hated Isuzu a little bit.

But...Kyoko had always told her that judging people by their looks was one of the worst things you could do – people had done it so much to her in her life, she didn't want Tohru to be one of _those_ people. Isuzu was probably a perfectly nice girl, and it wasn't right for Tohru to resent the poor woman because she happened to be much more beautiful than herself.

So, swallowing the toxic jealously, she smiled a big ol' fake grin and said, "Isuzu-san! It's so nice to see you again."

Not surprisingly (considering her attitude the last time Tohru had seen her), there was no smile in response. Isuzu frowned deeper, looking annoyed by Tohru's fake cheer. Of course, she still looked ridiculously beautiful, but Tohru could tell now was not the time for admiration or envy.

"Where's Izi?" Isuzu asked in a rough voice. She blinked quickly twice, keeping her eyes closed for a long minute on the second blink. Her pale hand – too pale – reached out for the door frame. Clutching it as if to steady herself, she opened her eyes and glared at Tohru.

But the brunette was not threatened. Instead, she was worried. "Isuzu-san, are you alright? Would you like to come in a sit down?"

At that moment, Kyo's voice came up behind her, provoking a new round of pink cheeks before the last had even faded completely. With confusion clearly coating his tone, he said, "Rin? What are you doing here?"

The Horse just ducked her head and shook it, the long ebony strands swaying gently in front of her face. She was still gripping the frame of the door, now with both hands.

"Isuzu-san, please come in," Tohru pleaded, now very worried. "Are you sick?"

"Rin, come in and have some water. You know Shishou doesn't want you pushing yourself."

She shook her head again. From underneath the curtain of black silk, she repeated, "Where's Izi?"

"Why does that matter, Rin?" Kyo snapped from behind Tohru. "You look like you're gonna pass out."

For the first time since she'd left their previous "conversation," Tohru turned around and looked at Kyo. His face was slightly flushed (Tohru chose not to wonder why) and his brows were furrowed. Similarly, his mouth was set in a handsome frown. Whether his expression was from frustration, concern, or dislike for Isuzu, Tohru didn't know.

"I need..." Isuzu started choking out, sounding slightly pained. "I need. To speak. With Izi."

"She isn't here right now," Tohru explained uneasily. She was growing more and more worried. "Isuzu-san, please, you don't look well. Please come in and lie down." She tried to reach and take Isuzu's arm to steady her and lead her into the house, but her hand was roughly slapped away by the Horse. Raising her head up only the slightest bit, Isuzu glared fiercely through her hair. Tohru gasped, not at her glare but at her face: under a clammy-looking layer of cold sweat, the pale sallowness of Isuzu and the way her eyebrows pulled together looked painful.

"You don't under_stand_," she snarled, her tone ringing with frustration and something like helplessness. "I need to speak with Izi _now_."

"Rin?"

Three pairs of eyes flicked over to the auburn-haired woman that was now slamming her car door, clearly confused as to the powwow going on between the Horse, the Cat, and Tohru. Then, spying Isuzu's sickly-looking state, she looked worried.

"Rin, are you okay? What's going on?" she demanded at the same time that Isuzu spun herself to face Izi and staggered only a few steps before weakly calling, "Izi...!"

And collapsing the ground.

Tohru shrieked slightly. Izi screamed, "Kyo, grab her legs!" as she ran to Isuzu's fallen form and scooped her up around her waist. Kyo complied, hurriedly picking up Isuzu's long, mostly uncovered legs. Tohru watched in horror they hurriedly carried her into the house. She had it on the tip of her tongue to tell them to put Isuzu in her bed, but suddenly a low, far-away-sounding rumbling sound was buzzing in her ears. Almost like an earthquake, but she knew this wasn't an earthquake area...

She heard Kyo and Izi swear. Their footsteps stopping. Izi groaning, "You have _got_ to be kidding me..."

And it hit her.

What happened next was almost too fast for Tohru to catch. She knew that if she'd happened to blink at that moment, she would have missed Kyo and Izi exchange a lightning-quick look, then Izi throwing the rest of Isuzu at Kyo, who caught her expertly and ran the rest of the way into the house and up the stairs. She would have missed Izi fling herself at the door just as a blur of brown hair, green clothes, and various pink and red hearts shot through the front door. She would have missed Izi throw her arms out to stop the blur, and the blur shrieking out, "Oh _Kyooooooooooo_-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" before it realized it was being blocked off from its "beloved."

And then the fast motion stopped. It felt like time itself had stopped. There Kagura stood, grasping about a dozen different romantic-looking boxes that screamed Valentine's Day, with a surprised glare directed right at her ex best friend. But Izi returned the glare, looking about nine feet tall in the high heels she'd forgotten to take off and her hands on her hips. She'd removed herself from Kagura, but the weight of her action hung in the air, heating it uncomfortably until Tohru was sure she could hear it crackling.

The last time Kagura had come to the house – the first day of summer – Izi had heard her coming and hid before having to confront her. Tohru had found her and Kyo in the coat closet, and Kagura had decided to spend the night. Izi had driven home after Kagura fell asleep, but Kyo had been forced to sleep on the roof that night. All in all, Izi had gotten off easy, not having to lay eyes on Kagura once. Clearly, this was not the case this time.

"Hello Kagura," Izi greeted in a snide, fake-pleasant hiss.

"Izi," Kagura replied in the same tone.

Tohru wasn't sure if they'd even looked at each other in the past three years (at _least_), let alone said anything to each other. She watched in wonder as the two eyed each up and down, slowly smirking in sinister ways. She idly wondered if Kyo and Isuzu were safe, but at that moment she feared for herself, Izi, and even Kagura: who would suffer the casualties in this meeting?

"What have you got there, Kagura?" Izi questioned, eying the heart boxes with sarcastic interest.

Shifting the candies so they were partially hidden behind her back, Kagura pursed her lips. "I don't believe that's any of your business, Izi," she sniffed.

"Hmm, I guess not, Kagura."

They returned to giving each other dirty looks, full-body once overs and short, condescending laughs. Tohru, having noticed that both of them ended each sentence with the other's name, wondered if that was some part of the catfight ritual. Maybe so they wouldn't forget who they were bitching to.

"That's a nice dress, Izi," Kagura remarked, her tone biting. Tohru quickly glanced at the dress – a short black shift number covered with silly buttons and over turquoise knit stockings – then to Kagura's snarky, self-satisfied face, then to Izi's eerily calm and amused one. "It doesn't _make_ you look fat," she continued.

Tohru was taken aback by this sudden attitude – the Kagura she'd always been exposed to was the sweet-but-violent, sort of bipolar but must be nice underneath, Kyo-obsessed Zodiac Boar. She hadn't shown the biting, bitchy Kagura at Shigure's house; but Tohru supposed that was a part of her personality reserved mostly for Izi.

Speaking of: Tohru noticed that the girl had not, in fact, shrunken back from Kagura's verbal hit (as she would have done), but actually looked more amused. She was a little afraid of what Izi had up her sleeves.

"Aw, Kagura," she cooed toxically. "Sweetheart, as much as you like to believe green is a good color on you, it isn't. Especially not when you're wearing your envy so clearly."

This, apparently, was the last straw for Kagura. She dropped her fake sweet mask and let a horrible sneer take over her usually cute face. However, now she was anything _but_ cute, and it was clearer than the envy Izi had pointed out. Her eyes were narrowed dangerously and she let the Valentine's candies drop to the floor, their clattering barely noticed. Tohru watched as her hands tightened into fists and started to shake slightly. The atmosphere switched quickly from Bitchy to Deadly.

Izi felt it, too. Her expression of poisonous amusement morphed into one of Step Off, Bitch. Tohru immediately recognized it as one she never wanted to be on the recieving end of. She nearly felt sorry for Kagura, but then she remembered Kyo, whoby now was probably hiding upstairs, and her sympathy mysteriously evaporated. She glanced again from girl to girl, who were sizing each other up, looking more like two animals ready to spar. She was reminded of lionesses, snarling and glaring and capable of so much damage.

"Where is he, Izi?" Kagura growled, now all pretenses of friendliness dropped completely. "I really don't need this today."

"Where is _who_, Kagura?" Izi snapped. "The boy you've been stalking out of _guilt_ for all these years?"

Tohru didn't really understand the comment, but Kagura made a sort of hissing/gasping sound like she'd been slapped. Apparently Izi went right for the jugular.

"I love him," she snarled through clenched teeth. "I love him, and he loves me, and I am _not_ going to let you _shit_ all over our happiness." She took a step forward – just a single step – and her aura of fury sent shivers down Tohru's spine. "So keep your dirty mouth shut about him and me and just _let me see him_."

"Not a chance in hell," Izi barked. She folded her arms across her chest and cocked one hip out to the side, then one eyebrow up. Suddenly, she turned to Tohru and snapped, "Get out of here."

Tohru blinked confusedly. "But – "

"Now."

"Izi – "

"_Now_," she repeated firmly, her eyes seeming to swirl with some unspoken message. "I won't have you getting caught in a fight between us. It has nothing to do with you." Her face hardened once again. "_Now go_."

Tohru stared at the girl for a second before hesitantly obeying. She cast one last glance at the almost-fight scene as she crept up the stairs, and then she was gone.

Kagura, having watched the whole exchange with an emotionless face, rolled her eyes once Tohru left. "And what was that about, _Izi_?"

"She shouldn't have to get caught in the crossfire of some shit she has nothing to do with," she replied coldly. "_Kagura_."

The Boar bit out a short, humorless laugh. "It has nothing to do with her, does it?" She glared bitterly. "_Wake up_, Izi. It has everything to do with her."

"Oh, why don't you tell me whatever twisted reasoning you've managed to delude yourself into believing this time, Kagura," she spat, "because quite honestly, I'm at a loss. I never could keep up with your fucked up logic."

If Kagura wanted to lash out physically at her, she did a good job at hiding it. With a menacing smirk, she stepped forward again, causing Izi to jerk back a step so she could still guard the stairs. At this, Kagura's smirk grew and you might have sworn that Izi appeared slightly uneasy. At least, that's what it looked like to Kagura. And she liked that.

"You wanna know, huh, Izi?" she mocked. "What's the matter? Not as confident when you aren't playing God?"

Izi said nothing.

"Is that a yes, Izi? Do you not like it when you aren't matchmaker for once?"

Now she responded. Kagura could see her nostrils flare slightly and her eyes widen, then narrow dangerously with anger. Her pretty mouth sneered at the Boar and Kagura noticed gleefully that a small growl escaped her lips. Hit a soft spot, did she?

"Yes, Shigure kindly told me all about your little plan," she told her. "I thought it was pretty entertaining, actually, that you think those two will work. Everyone knows – "

"Everyone knows _what_, Kagura?" Izi near-screamed. "That you're a spiteful bitch?!"

And just like that, she exploded.

"You're just jealous, like you've always been!" she yelled. "You're jealous of any girl that tries to treat him like a human being, because you decided that _you're_ the only person he can ever even talk to. You're so manipulative, you horrible bitch!"

"Oh, _I'm_ manipulative?!" Kagura demanded, her own voice rising shrilly. "I'm not the one who's trying to – "

"Don't you say it!" Izi screamed. She was nearly hysterical now. "Don't you even say it!" She seemed to be almost shaking with her anger, and for the first time since she'd come in Kagura felt scared.

But then she was surprised: Izi stopped shaking and closed her eyes. She was clearly still angry, but she took several deep breaths to calm herself. Kagura counted six Mississippi seconds before Izi opened her eyes again, but now they were silently smoldering.

"Let's just get this straight, Kagura," she said quietly. "Let's just say what we both know is true, and has been true for years. This isn't about me, and it isn't about Kyo. It isn't even about Tohru. This – all of it, all of the talk of marriage and the obsessive, violent love – all of it has been about _you_, and no one else."

"Tha–...that's not true!" Kagura replied, her voice high and shrilly defensive after Izi's silently fuming tone. She could feel her face flushing, but whether it was because of shame, anger, or some combination of the two, she wasn't sure.

"It is true," Izi said – she still sounded scarily calm, "and you know it. But you're driven by your insane desire to make right what you did."

Kagura gasped.

"You think I didn't know, Kagura? We were best friends for nearly fifteen years. Of course I knew." She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "But _you _should know that by now that it isn't going to work. You hurt him, and you know it. And I'm not trying to guilt-trip you here. But you lost whatever chance you might have had with him the day you ran away. Not even then: the day you tried to start a friendship based on pity and self-indulgence."

And what exactly do you say to that?

* * *

**Don't know if this really counts as a cliffie... I just really want to get a chapter up. Even though this one's pretty short (this is actually one half of a superdy-duperdy long chapter).**

It was surprisingly fun and easy to write for Kagura, especially considering she's the most annoying character in all of manga (minus Kikyou from Inuyasha). It was also very nearly effortless writing Isuzu, but that was less surprising because she's one of my favorites, and also because I loved writing for her in chapter 19. Rin is teh shit.  
  
**Question: Too much Izi? I am trying to put her in there less, but she was really the only one who I could have deliver those "You tried to start to start a friendship based on pity" lines. I'm sorry to say that there might be as much of her in the next chapter too, but only because it's (spoiler alert!) involving Isuzu and Tohru's curiosities surrounding breaking the curse. (Of course Izi would have some idea about it...)  
**  
**Anywhore, do Jax some good and leave a review. Reviews are synonymous to love, after all, so show your non-Kaguraness and tell me **_**something**_**. Love it, hate it, "update soon", I don't care. ("Update soon" is actually usually the only thing I put into reviews **_**I**_** leave, unless I can think of something witty.) Peace on earth and all that. Be safe and carry a bit stick. Good health to your mothers. And above all: Honk if you hate Kagura Sohma!**

Jax


	31. Definition of Insanity

Hey, so...I suck. Supremely. If there are any readers left, you've got my apologies. Been graduating and stuff. Doing some Shakespeare theater. But hey, if you ARE still reading, here's a little heads up that I'm working in the Shigure influence that's been happening in the books (they're all out by and most people know what's what, right?) into this bizatch.

NOTE: I was trying to work with Rin's medical condition in this one, but Dr. Jax's knowledge about that stuff is pretty much zero. So let's just say I'm bullshitting a lot about medical goings on. I think it turns into a seizure at one point. Anyway, just try to suspend your disbelief even further.

Disclaimer: I disclaim.  


* * *

Chapter 30 – Definition of Insanity

She didn't know what to say.

For once in her life, Kagura Sohma did not know what to say.

This wasn't something she could solve by fluttering hey eyelashes or beating someone up or running away. Izi had told her exactly what she didn't want to hear, no sugar-coating, no nothing. That horrible woman had hit her right to the core, but she couldn't even be mad at her. She knew it was true. Of course she did.

That didn't mean she wanted it thrown into her face like a cold, dead fish, though.  
_  
"...the day you tried to start a relationship based on pity and self-indulgence."_

Yes, it had started that way, and yes, Kagura knew how much she had hurt Kyo by it, but hadn't she changed? Hadn't she realized her ugly mistake and tried to correct it? She'd _showered_ him with love for years after that. Didn't that make up for it?

No. She knew it didn't.

So why did she continue to try to force her "love" on him? Even after Tohru came into the picture and Kagura started realizing defeat, she still tried again and again to force Kyo to love her. She was aware of what would happen every time, of course, but that didn't stop her from doing it.

Shocking Izi, she was quite sure, Kagura smiled.

She was insane.

Because that was the definition of insanity, right? Doing something over and over again and expecting different results.

"W-what are you...," she could hear Izi stutter, but she ignored it.

Insane, huh? Quite the realization for a woman of only twenty. Well, she supposed she would have come to discover this truth at some point in her life anyway, but she'd be lying if she said she was happy to have it happen so soon. Maybe she could start scheduling her therapy in the near future, though...

_Well, doctor, I've been chasing after a boy for about a decade to make up for when we were kids and I ran away when he turned into a hideous monster_.

Or maybe not.

"Kagura."

She looked up, the humorless smile still on her face. Izi was peering at her curiously, probably waiting for some sort of reply after what she'd said before. Kagura's dismal smile grew as she told herself that Izi would have to get used to disappointment (like she wasn't already).

There was nothing she _could_ say.

Not because she didn't know what should be said, like earlier, but because there were too many things to be said. She couldn't pick any one thing from her mind – the thoughts moved too quickly, blurring into each other erratically. Her mood swings were jerking her around every split second, and she nearly felt herself get whiplash. This was too much.

"_Kagura_," Izi repeated.

_That_ wasn't helping so much either.

"Are you listening to me?"

She had to get out.

"Kagura?"

She couldn't think with that woman there.

"Kagura, don't ignore me."

She needed some air.

"Kagura."

Some clarity. That was what she needed. Clarity.

"_Kagura!_"

Fucking clarity.

She turned around and walked out the door.

Izi didn't try to stop her.

* * *

Was Isuzu drunk?

That was the first explanation that came to mind, having just woken up in a stranger's bed. She didn't have a hangover, though, and she could feel that her clothes were still on. Undies, too, so she hadn't gone home with some guy (although, judging from the soft pink comforter beneath her, she doubted this was a guy's room at all, nor night if the sunlight streaming in was any clue).

She could barely remember what happened. Did she pass out? She must have fainted somewhere...maybe at Kagura's house? That would explain the girlie bed. No, she hadn't been there in a week, something about the girl getting all hyper from the approaching Valentine's Day (it was even less fun being around Kagura when she went into her Freak Mode).

She didn't remember drinking anything, so this must have been the aftermath of one of her ulcers playing hackysack with her insides. Where _was_ she, though?

"...hear anything coming from downstairs?"

"No. They must have stopped talking."

"What if they're fighting?"

"Nah, we'd hear it if they were. Kagura and Izi aren't the type to do that quietly."

A boy and a girl were talking...and they sounded familiar. They'd mentioned Izi and Kagura, so at least one of them must have been a Sohma.

"Hey, are you okay? Kagura didn't – "

"Oh, no, I'm fine."

Kyo. She recognized the boy as Kyo. Now who was that girl?

"Tohru..._are_ you okay?"

Isuzu's eyes snapped wide open mid-blink.

"Kyo-kun, of course I am. Don't worry about me."

_Tohru_.

Shit.

Isuzu must have moaned or groaned or mumbled that "shit" because the next thing she knew that Tohru girl was gasping and rushing over to the bedside. Isuzu glared at the carpet as she tried to roll herself onto her side and then up – she had to get away from that girl.

"Isuzu-san, you mustn't exert yourself!" Tohru was saying, but Isuzu pressed on in trying to prop herself upright. "Please, you've just fainted."

"I'm fine," she growled. "Just leave me alone."

Apparently her tone was harsher than intended – not her fault, this whole shit situation was putting her edge and making her extra pissy – because Tohru drew back as if slapped. Out of the corner of her eye, Isuzu could see Kyo tensing.

The two reactions did, admittedly, pang her with guilt, but she'd...make it up to them later? God, she didn't even know anymore. There were so many people who she'd hurt already, whom she had hurt with the promise that things would look a little bit brighter soon. She'd make things better – really. But more and more often lately, she was finding herself stuck and unable to change _anything_, which would not do at all.

She had an Ox to save if it killed her.

Which, if the particularly painful shock from her abdomen that tore through her just then was any indication, it might actually succeed in doing.

At Isuzu's pained convulsion, Tohru shot an extremely anxious stare at Kyo, who looked beyond nervous with the whole thing, if not reasonably concerned. He stepped closer uncertainly and gestured to her, like _So what do we do?_ Isuzu shook again, crying out, and Tohru felt paralyzed with helplessness.

"Get Izi," Izusu choked out. "Please – _please_, just _get Izi_!"

"Go!" Kyo told Tohru. "I'm calling 911."

"Just get her!" Isuzu cried. "Please!"

Tohru bolted out the door, stumbling slightly on the stairs and not even thinking about accidentally stepping in the line of a Kagura attack – Isuzu needed her help. She couldn't be selfish, she told herself as she rounded the corner into the front room.

One Izi.

No Kagura.

"What?"

But it was like Izi didn't even hear her. She stared unseeingly at the still-open front door. Kagura's abandoned, untouched chocolates were still piled in a sad heap a few feet away, but Izi wasn't even bothering to sneer at them. She just stared at that open door – no Kagura in sight – with a strangely shaken look in her eyes.

"Izi?"

Now she whipped to face Tohru, finally realizing the presence of another. She blinked and the sadness in her eyes vanished.

"Uh, what – "

"Come quick!" Tohru screeched, already running back to the stairs and calling behind her. "Isuzu-san is having an attack!"

Izi was at her side in a flash, looking even more shaken than before. The two were halfway up the stairs before they stopped short, nearly barreling into Kyo, who carried the still-thrashing Isuzu bridal style. He was apparently trying to get her out to Izi's car.

"What are you doing?" Izi shouted. "We need to call Hatori!"

"There's no time, she needs to get to a hospital."

Faintly, Isuzu moaned something like "hate hospitals" and then whimpered painfully.

"We can't risk her transforming!" Izi screamed – Tohru watched them both, unable to move. As Isuzu continued to spasm in Kyo's arms and Izi, appearing to be fighting back tears, struggled to pull her phone out of her dress pocket, Kyo slipped past them all and kept going for the car, mindful of the Horse's head.

Izi wrenched her phone from her pocket and quickly dialed. "Ha'ri, Rin's having an attack!" she nearly sobbed. "Get over to Shigure's _now_!" Tohru, still feeling completely helpless, watched Izi snap the phone shut and let it drop to the ground. Then she rushed after Kyo, and Tohru rushed after her, suddenly feeling herself working again.

"Kyo, get back here!" Izi shrieked at the same time Tohru tried to say, "She needs to rest, please!"

But Kyo didn't appear to be stopping. He finally reached solid ground and was heading toward the front door (still open, by the by) before Tohru, barely stable with her footing on the fourth step up from the ground, was suddenly overcome by needing to help. She cried, "I'm sorry, Kyo-kun!" and threw herself forward.

_POOF!_

In hindsight, she probably should have made sure Izi had a firm hold on the girl before putting her plan into action, but Izi had good reflexes and it wasn't like Isuzu's head hit the ground anyway. Just her legs a little bit. Maybe a sore ankle later on, but no brain damage.

By this time Isuzu's convulsions were dying down and she was mostly unconscious; Kyo didn't say a word as the Cat; Tohru was crying and Izi was still teary-eyed; and a car was pulling up next to Izi's outside.

"Oh, thank God," Izi choked. She barely had a hold on Isuzu as it was, and the girl nearly slipped from her grasp as Hatori came rushing in, already in Doctor Mode.

Tohru clutched Kyo to her chest and they both watched as Izi and Hatori gurney-ed Isuzu back upstairs. Hatori made several quick trips out to his car for various tools and medications. Shigure and then Yuki made their entrances, both confused and concerned, and were quickly directed to Isuzu. At one point a loud _POOF!_ was heard from upstairs, but it was barely noticed by the two. They just sat there, Kyo still in Cat form, and fell into deep silence, disturbed only by their breathing.

They probably could have stayed there forever, if Yuki and Hatori hadn't come downstairs and engaged them in conversation. Kyo briskly jumped from Tohru's arms then, scurrying up the stairs to lock himself in his room – Tohru kept her eyes trained on the floor, so she missed the curious frown Yuki wore as he watched Kyo's furry back.

"Honda-kun," she heard Hatori say almost gently, "it's alright for you to go upstairs now. Isuzu is fine, she'll just be resting for a while."

"I hope you don't mind that she's using your bed," Yuki added.

Distractedly, Tohru shook her head.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that," the Dragon continued. "Isuzu's attacks don't usually get that bad. You handled it rather well, though."

She gave a small, false smile that seemed to satisfy Hatori and Yuki. The Rat took her hand and lifted her to her feet, smiling sweetly at her in a way she assumed he meant as encouraging. It only made her feel a bit sad, though – sad_der_.

"I'll be coming back later tonight to take Isuzu home," Hatori told them. He reached the door that had stayed open since Tohru had first come downstairs (only to find Kagura missing, of course) and turned to face the two. He frowned like he was struggling a little bit, then looked Tohru straight in the eye and said, "You're getting there, Honda-kun. Don't let yourself get down."

She felt herself start slightly.

_How did he know?_

"That was a little weird," Yuki murmured after Hatori left. "What did he mean, Honda-san?"

She tried not to look obvious as she avoided his eyes. "You know, I'm not quite sure," she lied. "Um...Yuki-kun?"

"Yes Honda-san?"

"Where's Izi?"

"Oh, she's upstairs watching over Rin. Why, do you need to talk to her?"

Tohru sighed deeply. "Yes, Yuki-kun," she said truthfully. "Yes, I do."

A minute later found her pausing at her bedroom door, suddenly unsure about her mission. A knot formed and grew quickly in her stomach, twisting and clawing her nerves all around painfully. But she opened the door anyway, albeit very slowly, and poked her head in to see Izi sitting on the floor by her bed with her head resting on it. Tohru could see Isuzu's slumbering form, slumped against the pillows and covered to her chin with blankets. Spying this little scene left her feeling even more unsure, and sadder still. It wasn't just Isuzu's sleeping vulnerability, but Izi's as well. She was folded up into a little ball, her arms acting as a pillow on the bed for her poor tired head – she looked very small, and Tohru was sure that if her face was visible it must have been scared.

As she stepped into the room, a piece of floor creaked under her foot and quickly caught Izi's attention – her head snapped around to the door with a startled, anxious expression poised on her face. She relaxed when she realized it was only Tohru and turned to face her.

"You surprised me there," came her mumble. "What is it, Tohru?"

Here was where her words died in her throat. Tohru knew exactly what she wanted to say to Izi – every word planned out, it felt like – and yet only ghosts escaped her open lips. "I..." But she what? She'd figured it all out while she sat and held Kyo, but all those conclusions and accusations felt silly and useless now, standing in front of Izi's curious mug.

"Tohru?"

"Why...why was Isuzu-san so insistent on seeing you today?" she managed to ask in a semi-firm voice. It was a start, at least.

"Oh, well, I don't really know," Izi replied with a hint of a nervous edge to her voice. This, and the normally confident girl's lack of eye contact, was all the proof Tohru needed to know she was lying. "Since, you know, I didn't really get to talk to her before...well, you know, the whole attack thing – "

"Izi." Tohru took a moment to gather her words and pray to them not to whither away on her tongue. "What did Isuzu-san come here for today?" she repeated.

She looked taken aback by this. "I – I just told you, I don't know..."

"Well then what do you _think_ she came here for?"

Now Izi looked slightly annoyed, if not a bit edgy. "Tohru, I'm telling you, I don't..." She trailed off when Tohru's eyes – normally so cheerful and bright – stared into hers with an alarming mix of somberness and naked honesty. "I...I don't...know. Maybe, uh, Haru? I – well, I mean, I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but they were, uh, together for a while, and they – they broke up, it was really nasty and, uh, Rin will sometimes talk to me...about...that stuff."

Tohru's eyebrows drew downward, clearly not buying Izi's story (well, it was _true_, just not...true). The older girl looked even more nervous, now staring away from Tohru outright.

"Izi, you know something about breaking the curse, don't you?" Tohru asked quietly – and yet, with that one question, there was enough power in the words and Tohru's truth-seeking eyes to knock the wind out of Izi. It showed, clear as day, on her shocked face.

"How – why would you – ?"

"You do, don't you?" Tohru demanded. Her voice grew. "That's why Isuzu-san was so adamant about seeing you. She's looking for a way to break the curse too, isn't she?!"

"Tohru...you don't know what you're – "

"Izi, you know I'm trying to – you know about Kyo-kun's confinement," she hissed, suddenly feeling her throat clog up with too much intensity of the moment. Tears did not help her already unsure vision. "Why wouldn't you – if you know something about how I can save him, why would you – why would you – "

"No, Tohru, that's not...it's not like that," Izi insisted helplessly. "You wouldn't understand. It's just...it's so...so complicated."

"So make it simple."

Except it wasn't Tohru who said it. Izi and Tohru turned their matching shocked eyes towards Isuzu, who glowered motionlessly from under the covers.

"Well?" Isuzu whispered hoarsely. "Are you or aren't you going to explain what it is your hiding, Izi?" Again, only her inquiring mouth and hard, tired eyes moved, as if she didn't have the energy to move any other part of herself to punctuate her question.

But it looked like Izi's throat was clogging up as well – not from too much emotion, like Tohru's choking moment, but from too many words that needed to escape, getting all jumbled up in her windpipe and refusing to budge even an inch. From Tohru's position, it looked like it hurt.

Izi still wouldn't meet either set of eyes. She sounded so tired, almost resigned, as she let out a long and grueling sigh that could have very well been the souls of her words that had died, like Tohru's, at her lips. "Neither of you would understand," she told them sadly.

_"Then make us understand"_ – from Isuzu.

However, this must have been the breaking point for her, because gone was the tongue-tied vulnerability and its replacement was pure chagrin. Izi's terrifying gaze smacked up from the ground and struck both girls right in their unsuspecting eyes. She appeared irritated at best, bull-like at worst. A snarl seemed only natural at this point.

"It's not like this is something I can just spit out, alright Rin?" Izi barked. "I can't just sum it all up like a good little quirky side character, okay? That's what you want, isn't it? A neat set of instructions on what to do with your doomed sweethearts, _right_?!" She was close to shrieking, but was apparently lucid enough to lower her voice considerably. "Well, maybe I can't give you that. Did you ever think about that?"

"Izi." Tears were close to bursting from Tohru at this point, tears of exhaustion with the whole situation, mixed with the more acidic desolation and hopelessness of everything so far. "Please, Izi, I'm desperate. You know I am. You know better than anyone. Just...please, just tell us. What do you know about the Zodiac Curse?"

It was such a simple question, really. _What do you know?_ If the answer could have been that simple, maybe there wouldn't have been a Curse at all. If the pained look in Izi's eye told Tohru anything, though, the answer was _not_ that simple and this was _not_ going to be fun.

The combination of Isuzu's cold, graceful stare and Tohru's near-teary one, along with the pressure of the topic and everything happening just then and with Kagura and all day must have finally broken Izi down. Tohru watched her practically deflate – with mood swings worse than even Kagura's, who wouldn't? – and sit down on the ground next to the bed. She rubbed her temples, most likely exhausted, and lifted her gaze to the two girls before bringing it sadly back down to the carpet.

"I don't even know for sure that it will do anything," she told them quietly.

Tohru's breath caught in her throat. If she'd had any energy left after all that happened already, she would have done more than widen her eyes. A small jolt went through her; she was sure she must have shaken slightly. Upon peeking at Isuzu, Tohru saw that the feeling of anticipation was mutual.

Isuzu was the one to speak next. Maybe she could tell that Tohru was unable to. "Tell us, Izi." A small pause. "Please."

Tohru nodded numbly in agreement.

Izi continued avoiding their eyes. She heaved a sigh and appeared to be choosing her words carefully. "Shigure thinks..." She swallowed and sighed again – stalling, maybe. "Shigure thinks that it's been breaking on its own for years now, and that this just happens to be the generation when the Curse will...will snap. But..." She trailed off again.

"But?" Tohru echoed meekly.

"...there needs to be some sort of – not _incentive_..." Izi looked to be struggling for the word.

Tohru supplied the first word that came to mind: "Trigger?"

"Yes. A trigger," Izi said. "There needs to be some sort of trigger."

The room was quiet. Then, following the fashion of Isuzu snapping it away, the Horse said with a fierce scowl, "What is the trigger, Izi? Do you know?" Her voice, however cold, was starting to sound frantic.

When Izi looked like she might be faltering again, Tohru stepped closer to her. "It's okay," she managed to tell Izi in some sort of peaceful imitation of her normal calm voice. "It's okay."

Her friend almost smiled, but nodded instead. Tohru felt a bit of hope flutter, butterfly-like, inside of her.

However, it was quickly crushed by the grim, disappointing sense of foreboding that fell – heavy like a barbell – in her gut as Izi glanced uncomfortably up at her through her lashes. Then she looked away, swiftly confirming Tohru's nervous as justified.

"I...I can't tell someone who isn't a Sohma," Izi whispered. "I'm so sorry, Tohru, but...this is something I'm _sincerely_ not allowed to tell you. Please, if you can forgive – "

"No, no, it's fine," Tohru insisted with a fake smile already worming its way into the conversation. She felt much too tired to resist. "Really, I understand. This is about your family...I have no right to demand knowledge about its secrets." She bowed to Izi and Isuzu, then walked to the door. "It doesn't matter if I don't break the Curse," she told them quietly, "as long as someone does."

The two girls stared at the door for a good minute after it clicked softly shut. After a bit, though, Isuzu managed to say, "So. Are you going to tell me?"

"...Yeah."

Another long pause. "Well?"

Izi mumbled something Isuzu couldn't make out. Irritated and exhausted, the Horse nearly growled. "Say it so I can hear you, Izi," she snapped. "I don't understand why you're being so – "

"_'When one who was never loved is loved, the ancient promise nears the end_.'"

Utterly confused and more than a little annoyed at this point, Isuzu started slightly. "What?"

"And I've been working on it," Izi continued, ignoring Isuzu. She spoke as if she had said something completely normal and coherent a second ago. "You've seen it. Everyone has seen it, really."

"Izi, you – can you at least say it again? And maybe in Japanese this time?"

After a very reluctant-looking glance at Isuzu, Izi went on. "It's the reason I stayed in France," she said, throwing her cousin for another mini-loop, "after I first heard about Tohru. To...to find a way to break the Curse."

The Horse choked on the half-formed complaint she had been ready to voice. She leaned forward (as far as she could, that is) with much more interest.

"I had my bags all packed to go home, actually," Izi said. "I wanted to meet Tohru very badly. But then – it was so random, really, a complete coincidence – I happened to meet two family members of deceased Sohmas. Claire and Charlie...their mother's late uncle was the last Ox. It really was completely coincidental that I met them, sometimes I think it was fate.

"Anyway, for the next year and some-odd months, we tried to recount everything we could from their mother and other relatives – most of them French-born, who ended up not being able to help us very much. We researched family volumes, even photo albums...I don't even remember most of the things we tried...at most times it felt pretty hopeless.

"And then something, some fucking commercial or something, suddenly reminded Claire and Charlie's mother – her name's Haruhi – of something her uncle had told her a few days before he died. The two of them had been quite close, and she remembered him looking her in the eye and saying, 'When one who was never loved is loved, the ancient promise nears the end.' And she figured it must have been pretty important, but then the Ox died and, and the years passed and she moved to France and started a family and it just didn't occur to her until just then.

"We figured out over the course of a couple days that if 'the one who was never loved' was...was the Cat from the Zodiac, and the 'ancient promise' was the Curse, then it would break if the Cat experienced _reciprocated_ love. And...and we weren't quite sure how flexible the definition of 'love' was in this case – I mean, Kazuma loves Kyo like a real son and vice versa, yet nothing has changed. So we figured it must be romantic love.

"I should mention that at this time, it was just after Kyo's true form had been revealed to Tohru. And she – " Izi stopped. "You don't know what the Cat's true form is, do you?"

Isuzu shook her head.

"Well...you don't want to. Very few people have ever actually seen it, and for good reason. I'm not even supposed to know about it. But it's relevant to this explanation, so I'll just say it's one of the reasons Kyo doesn't speak with his real father. And the reason his mother...I'm assuming you _do_ know about that."

Isuzu nodded guiltily.

"Moving on. Kazuma revealed Kyo's true form to Tohru, who ran after him and accepted him despite everything. This all happening maybe two weeks before me and the gang in France made our little discovery. As another side note, Shigure and Ayame had been sending me news about Tohru ever since she'd first moved in. And after this new update, then the revelation in France, I knew she was the one who would break the Curse."

Isuzu stared at Izi for at least a minute after she finished. Finally, she managed a ragged murmur. "That's why...you're so determined in getting those two together. You're just – you're only trying to..."  
_  
To set us free_.

The silence that followed stewed inside the room, yet somehow stayed away from any awkwardness. At least to Isuzu, anyway; Izi was fidgeting and looked like she wanted to say something else.

"What is it?"

"I just...this is okay, right? I'm only trying to...I want to help you guys. You're my family." She stared at her hands. "And I mean, like I said, I don't even know for sure that this will do anything, but it seems like – it just feels like that would – would make sense, wouldn't it? To have...to have...wouldn't it?"

Isuzu gave a slow and sincere nod, then suddenly felt the need to send Izi away, or bring Haru to her side. She had the humiliating impulse to cry and for all of Izi's brilliant declarations – or actually _because_ of them – she couldn't and wouldn't let her know how moved she was.

Izi must have seen her eyes go glassy, because the older girl mercifully rose and smiled. "I should go see if Tohru's alright." She froze and quickly added, "Um, for obvious reasons, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell her or Kyo about any of this. They might not, uh...take it very well, you know, if they hear that I've...kind of been using them."

It was a little endearing, the way she looked so guilty. Isuzu tried not to smile, in addition to the no-tears rule, but failed on both accounts. Izi saw and, thankfully, said nothing.

"You should, uh, go comfort that girl," Isuzu sniffled, unsuccessfully attempting to free her arms from under the blankets so that she could wipe her eyes. "She seemed, uh, pretty – pretty shaken up about the whole thing."

Izi peered softly at her. "Yeah. You're right, Rin." Then she left Isuzu to break down into the most hopeful, happy tears the Horse had shed in months.

* * *

After her exile from the two Sohmas' tête-à-tête, Tohru found herself at Kyo's door with no recollection of moving her feet. She wondered how long she'd been standing there, staring at his door with a broken smile on her face, before the Cat sensed her presence and opened up.

He seemed surprised to see her there. He asked her what was wrong – was she that obvious? When she couldn't force a positive word out of her mouth and exhaled only disjointed air, he ushered her into the room and had her sit down on his bed. They sat for a long while in a warm, understanding silence.

"Do you...you wanna tell me what's wrong?"

Instead of answering, Tohru rested her head on Kyo's shoulder tiredly. "Not really, if you don't mind," she said softly. "Can we just sit here? Just for a little while?"

She didn't notice the catch in his voice when he breathed, "Y-yeah. If that's what you want."

It was comfortable. She closed her eyes and relished in breathing in his scent – that of woods and men and the detergent she used on his T-shirt. When she opened her eyes the tiniest bit all she could see was his smooth, tanned neck. She watched it shift as he swallowed. He seemed nervous – about what? She remembered their interrupted suggestive exchange earlier. All of that – before Isuzu showed up, even – felt like years ago.

Sighing, Tohru pushed all that to the back of her mind. She was soothed by Kyo's scent once more; it was almost enough to calm all the feelings of doubt that were coursing through her, about everything. Including Kyo. But she could pretend, right?

What seemed like a second (but was in fact a few minutes) later, there was a knock on the door. Before either of them could do anything other than separate, Izi let herself in and started slightly upon seeing them.

Her aura was unnerved and unnaturally shy. "Tohru? Could I talk to you for a minute? In private?"

Tohru felt Kyo staring at her oddly when she got up from the bed. She turned to him and smiled hesitantly. His expression was questioning, but he said nothing as she followed Izi out of the room.

Izi led her to the top of the stairway, then stopped and crossed her arms almost self-consciously. Tohru wasn't sure what to say – she tried to think of something optimistic, but like before, nothing stood there and stared at each others feet.

"I don't want you to worry," Izi said suddenly. "About the Curse, I mean. Just – ah, just keep doing what you're doing and...don't give up. Alright?"

Tohru tried to form the word "Alright" in reply, but instead she found herself sighing. "Izi, I'm sure that between you and Isuzu-san, you will be able to break – er, uh, accomplish your goal," she corrected anxiously, "but I think that...well, maybe we should take a break from the _other_ goal. Regarding Kyo-kun. I'm just...I'm not sure that in the wake of all of this...it's very realistic. It's not that I don't love him," she added quickly, seeing Izi's startled look. "You know I do, _so_ much. But he's just so – what I mean is, he's – Kyo-kun...he deserves better than me, during the time he has left. Which is not to say I don't believe in you and Isuzu-san, like I said, I just...don't know anymore."

She finished dismally and refused to meet Izi's eye. But she could feel the older girl staring at her. The gaze was heavy and incredulous, and something else Tohru couldn't place. She still didn't look up to find Izi's gaze until the latter girl cleared her throat apprehensively.

"My boyfriend died."

This effectively threw Tohru for about two million different loops. She blinked in shock. "What – "

"I mean, not recently," Izi added quickly. "Right after I finished high school, actually. He was crossing the street and a drunk driver ran a red light."

"Izi – "

"He told me," she continued, ignoring Tohru's attempts to interrupt, "that once we both finished university, that he would marry me. And I believed him, with all my heart. But, ah...it's hard to do much of anything when you're dead, you know?" She smiled sadly. "His name was Nabiko."  
_  
Nabiko._

Several things clicked into place for Tohru, adding a touch more sense to Izi's backstory, but she put these thoughts on the back burner as she strove to think of some words of comfort. Tohru much too well from experience that a simple "I'm so sorry for your loss" didn't do a goddamn thing to fix a person's unhappiness. But then, it really wasn't expected to, was it? People said such things to make _themselves_ feel better, so they could comfort _themselves_ with the thought that they'd helped someone cope. She wished she didn't think these things, and that she didn't know firsthand how true they were; she wished there was no reason for her to know.

Still, she had to say something. There was only empty air sitting in front of them now, binding and uncomfortable. She took a deep breath and began with, "Izi, I'm so –"

"Oh, no no no." It wasn't as if Izi would let her get that far anyway. "You don't have to say anything. I didn't tell you because I...want pity or anything." She paused. "I'm only telling you this so you'll understand how important it is for me to..." She choked slightly. "To see you and Kyo happy together. I know I can be an overbearing bitch, but I only...you two are my family and I just...I just..."

Thankfully for both parties, Tohru took the initiative to cut her off – with a hug, naturally.

Things were blurry after that, mostly because Tohru's eyes were rapidly filling with tears. Izi started crying too; Tohru could feel her shaking and the sounds coming out of her mouth were like those from a wounded animal. Not that her own were any different. They stood there, clutching at each other, sobbing loudly. Eventually Kyo and Yuki found them in their hysterical. By the time Hatori and Shigure were called up from downstairs, Izi's cries had turned to soggy, emotional laughter. Tohru's soon followed, although it only served to thoroughly freak the two younger male Sohmas out.

In a completely nonsensical way, it all felt so natural. Tohru heard Izi caw out some excuse about PMS (which did nothing to soothe the poor frazzled boys, who were really in way over their heads with this much estrogen clogging their home). Hatori examined them for a minute, then declared no illness – only madness – and prescribed a bit of tea and something hot to eat. Izi laughed again and linked her arms through Hatori and Yuki's.

"Ah, madness because we're women, is that right?" she teased, leading them down the stairs. "Well let me tell you, you'd be irrational too if your genitalia revolted against you every month and started bleeding..."

Tohru hung back and watched her. Kyo put his hand on the small of her back and gently ushered her forward. As they tailed the other four, he softly asked her, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Izi glanced back and caught her eye. The older girl smiled widely at her and winked before continuing her silly banter with the others, not missing a single beat.

"Yeah," Tohru said, giving Kyo a smile with all the love she had for him, warm and genuine, "I'm okay."

* * *

Incidentally, Valentine's Day came and went without disruption that year. The mood was hazy and a bit somber, though not altogether pessimistic. Chocolates and presents were exchanged silently, even at school. Surprisingly even the Yuki fangirls didn't make a fuss.

As another surprise, Kagura didn't return to Shigure's house for the special day, not even to retrieve the heart chocolates she'd left during her fight with Izi. She merely had Hatsuharu deliver a blanket greeting to the household and a letter to Kyo. As he later revealed to Tohru (and only Tohru), the cute orange paper had but two words scrawled across it: _I'm sorry_. Kyo told her he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Tohru wasn't either.

She never was, really, when it came to the Sohma family. But she decided – as the house and her friends and life began to move forward again – that she would stop trying to figure out all their secrets. She was beginning to feel a bit insane, to tell the truth.

Because that was the definition of insanity, right? Doing something over and over again and expecting different results.

* * *

Aaaaaaaaaaand that's the last Izi-reveal there will ever be in this fic because I am SICK TO DEATH of teh _Mary Sues_! Really, I was rereading a lot of old _Ties_ recently and I kept on making faces at the blatant Mary Sue-ness of it all. But this was semi-relevant to the story, so there's the last bit of Izi's backstory. Dead fiance. Yeesh.

And hey, did I mention that I am made of weaksauce? Sorries once again, to whoever might still be reading. I don't blame you if you gave up on me during the...roughly eight months I've been MIA. However, if you are still reading and aren't scoffing at the whole thing and attempting to set fire to your computer, I'd greatly appreciate any feedback. Reviews make my day.

I'm not dead yet,

Jax


	32. The Perils of Yuki

Well would you look at who's not dead.

I have many excuses but all of them are pretty lame. I'll just say that I hit the bitchiest writer's block I've ever had and lost my mojo for a while. But, I guess now!

Anywhore, it would appear that we have passed the 500 review mark, despite various roadblocks and misdemeanors. So, go us! And a Super Special Awesome Thanks goes out to the lucky 500th reviewer herself: **PinkLikeCool**! (I'm assuming, from the profile page, that you are in fact a girl. If not, my apologies.) You're prize is whatever the hell you want that's within reason (cameo, creative input, whatever). Send me a PM and we'll talk!

Disclaimer: I disclaim.

* * *

Chapter 31 – The Perils of Yuki (or, The Filler Chapter!)

Time, Yuki had found, calmed people. Tamed them. Filed down their claws and teeth, taught them not to destroy the curtains. Lowered the temperature on that simmering self-control of theirs. It was a rather pleasant notion, actually: Father Time, slowly but surely turning down the dial of Life and covering everyone in mellow yellow. It was happening to Kyo, practically right before Yuki's eyes, as well as to Yuki himself. The two of them were becoming less and less antagonistic towards each other. They were now more of a tired, resigned politeness, which felt like an improvement.

Time was doing this, Yuki noted; time and Tohru.

Sometimes he wondered if she was doing it on purpose, if she was actively trying to smooth out their rough edges. It was hard to picture Tohru as the chess master type, orchestrating an intricate Sohma-healing over the course of...what was it, two years by now? (That was time again, changing Yuki without letting him know he was getting any older.) Either way, it was almost laughable to think of sweet Tohru manipulating anyone, even to help them.

Well...maybe Kyo. But it wasn't as if it was that hard to pull one past the stupid Cat anyway.

Speaking of the stupid Cat, Tohru was spending more and more time with him lately. At home and at school, it felt like if she wasn't near him, she was clearly thinking about him. Yuki could see it just by looking at the girl: her big blue eyes were plainly clouded over with Kyo. It made Yuki a little sad, in a resigned sort of way.

It wasn't like they all didn't know she would gladly stay by his side for the rest of time. It didn't mean it didn't still hurt.

That being said, though, the actual _watching_ them together was not altogether horrible. Sure, Yuki wasn't thrilled at the thought of the lovely Honda-san – unconscious bearer of all his vulnerability and maternal yearning – lowering herself to be with the stupid Cat, whom, to this day, Yuki had not had a single honest conversation with. (For some reason, that last bit bothered him greatly.) Sure, he wasn't planning on eating while those two were – he didn't know – making their various googly eyes at each other. But the very thought didn't make him sick to his stomach, or, say, want to break Kyo's nose at an onsen.

He figured he had more time and Tohru to thank for that.

Sick or not sick, though, murderous or otherwise...it was kind of sweet. Those two. Yuki decided to think of it ultimately as his mother with her new boyfriend – he wasn't _super_ comfortable with the whole situation, but if the guy made her happy and treated her right, then that was okay. All the power to them.

Yuki was coming to these conclusions on a day in mid-March. The weather was just looking up recently – the last of the snow had been stubborn, but finally melted from the yard. They were nearly done with exams, just a few left for Math. Yuki wasn't worried – why should he have been? – so he sat in the dining room, next to the open side porch, and tried to catch up on some reading. He'd been going over the same sentence for about five minutes while thinking about the whole Tohru-Kyo thing. The pitter-patter footsteps were easily recognizable when they padded up in front of him, and a very welcome distraction.

"Um...Yuki-kun?" came that soft, warm voice.

Yuki put the book down and smiled genuinely; she was just what he needed right now. "Yes, Honda-san?" he asked, wishing not for the first time that he had the courage to call her by her name after two years. He'd really only done it a few times, but she felt comfortable calling _him_ by his first name. Once or twice, when he'd found himself alone, he'd tried swishing the name around in his mouth, seeing if it fit to say. After about a minute of (admittedly creepy-sounding) muttered _Tohru_s, he decided it did. Just not when the girl in question was standing in front of him, clutching a Math book and wearing a smudge of confusion smeared across her face.

She bit her lip. Yuki nodded at the Math text and notebook she gripped against her chest. "Well, I was wondering...that is, if you're not busy..."

"Would you like me to study with you, Honda-san?" he said.

Tohru nodded enthusiastically, babbling, "If you're sure you're not busy! Did I interrupt your reading? I'm sorry, I'll go if you want, I can study on my own."

He chuckled and told her sit down. "Show me where you need help."

Things were nice and peaceful for a while as they worked, almost like old times. Like the first few months she had been living with them, before all the sexual tension and meddling cousins and especially Izi. It all felt like so long ago, even though he remembered that it wasn't even a year yet since Izi arrived or since Tohru...saw Kyo's true form. It was actually about a month or two away, the anniversary of Izi's arrival. That couldn't be right...that was much longer ago...wasn't it?

Yuki laughed, prompting another confused look on Tohru's face. He waved his hand, like _Never mind_.

As they continued their studying, Yuki started to feel the familiar feeling of foreboding. The feeling he'd become much too acquainted with over the years of Sohma life. The feeling that things were just a little _too_ peaceful and pleasant. Something bad would have to happen, and soon.

He decided to be foolish and ignore it. Turning to answer Tohru's last question, he smiled, as if to ward off the bad feeling. "You know this part, Honda-san," he said. "We went over it in class just a few weeks ago. You just take the _x_, and..."

Tohru wasn't paying a lick of attention when he looked up. She had an almost dazed look on her face and she was staring at something behind Yuki. A bit bemused, he turned and nearly rolled his eyes: Kyo was standing in the doorway, not paying attention to either of them, fiddling with the cap of his water bottle.

_So much for ignoring my instincts_, Yuki thought dryly. Out loud, he said, "Honda-san, about this _equation_..."

She appeared not to hear him. Tohru's eyes stayed glued to the stupid Cat, until she managed to say, "Good morning, Kyo-kun!"

The orange-haired fool looked surprised, like he hadn't noticed either of them. Maybe he hadn't. The stupid Cat seemed to be in a different world lately.

"Hey," Kyo mumbled, nodding absently at Tohru. To Yuki, he glared in a half-baked type way, which was not that unusual these days. "You mind if I practice outside?"

"Go ahead!" she replied in a voice just slightly too loud for the space. Yuki cringed a bit, but Kyo walked through the room without another look at either of them. Tohru stared at her notebook like she wanted to bang her head against it.

"...Right, well, back to work then," Yuki said amicably, causing them both to throw on tight smiles.

"Sorry, Yuki-kun."

Things were almost normal again, at least for about ten more minutes. Tohru would glance up at the open side porch every so often, then look back at her work with a silly smile on her face. Yuki would pretend he didn't see her doing so, then say something vague about paying attention to math. They repeated this almost regularly until he heard her suck in a sharp breath. When he looked up, Yuki saw her eyes wide and focused decidedly _not_ on math.

Kyo, the ignorant ass that he was, had removed his shirt under the warm spring sun. He still paid Tohru no mind, and seemed completely lost in whatever world he was in as he lifted his water bottle to his mouth and drank. The way the water was spilling down his chin and onto his chest looked like a fucking cologne ad. He looked utterly ridiculous.

Yuki rolled his eyes. He was ready to tell the stupid Cat to put his damn shirt back on when he glanced at Tohru again. Her wide eyes had turned wistful, almost sad, and Yuki felt ashamed to be witnessing them. He averted his eyes from Tohru's longing and Kyo's obliviousness, intent on memorizing the equations and algorithms in front of him.

When he heard the girl next to him heave a sigh, he silently slipped away from the table and fled to the kitchen. This wasn't something he could handle after all, he decided. Them being together, fine. But not _this_. It wasn't even an exaggeration anymore to say that _everyone_ knew, _everyone_ could see it, _everyone_ was rooting for them (well, maybe not that last one). This was physically painful to witness, their dancing around the elephant in the room.

He couldn't watch them flounder like this when they were _so close_.

"Sick of them yet?"

After his heart just about leaped out of his chest, Yuki turned to see Izi leaning against the fridge, smiling dryly. He nearly glared a hole right through her.

"I'm really not in the mood for your meddling this morning, Izi," he managed to say in a halfway-civil voice, "so you can go ahead and save it." It took significant effort not to replace _save_ with a stronger word.

She shrugged, pushing off the fridge and peeking through the doorway at the idiots. "He looks like a cologne ad," she mused.

Yuki refused to lift his eyes from the counter. The stubborn, childish part of him swore that he wouldn't go back into the living room for the rest of the day. He was making the final decision that he would spend the whole weekend out of the house when it hit him.

Tohru's laughter.

He was by Izi's side in an instant, peeking at the couple with a sick mixture of excitement and anxiety bubbling within him. Tohru had moved to the edge of the porch, where the Cat had ceased his exercise and was sitting next to her. Yuki watched as they talked. Tohru let out another laugh and even Kyo looked softened up.

He could feel Izi's gaze on him. "What's taking them so long?" he asked, half to the girl and half to himself. The audible crack in his voice was simply pitiful, but he just couldn't find the room to care.

Izi didn't answer, so he kept looking at the pair. _Star-crossed_, that was the word.

A hand settled on his shoulder, and Yuki finally turned. His cousin stared unblinkingly, not a smirk in sight. "Are you going to help?" she said. He knew she knew he understood.

It didn't take him a second to answer, "Of course."

* * *

Holy SHIT it's been like a year huh. Woooops.

Well if anyone is still paying attention to this pile of you-know-what, you're encouraged to review. It helps the brittle old authoress remember that this writing thing is going okay. Also give Yuki a bro-fist, I always forget that he's a cool dude and end up making him Spear Carrier #2.

Reviews are good for the soul.

Jax


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